Does your relationship have passion?

Starla_86
Starla_86 Posts: 88
in Chit-Chat
I would say I'm pretty new to relationships, especially serious ones. I was just wondering if it's abnormal to not have any passion, I never feel like I'm 'wanted' or desired by my boyfriend and it sucks because that's one thing I find really important. I want like what P!nk has in her 'Try' film clip :I
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Replies

  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    Just break up!
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Just break up!

    Yup. If that's what you want, then that's what you should have. Don't settle for anything less.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    You're actually asking this question? If you do not have something that you find vital in a relationship and have never had it with that person, you shouldn't be with them. I think you know that.
  • Starla_86
    Starla_86 Posts: 88
    it's really not that easy, I feel like if I did break up with him than I could regret it for the rest of my life. What is I'm just being too demanding and unreasonable about things...maybe it's me that's the problem.
    The only reason I'm trying to seek help on here is because I have no idea about relationships and how they're meant to be, I know they're all different but I just don't know if where I am with him right now is in fact what I want?
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    it's really not that easy, I feel like if I did break up with him than I could regret it for the rest of my life. What is I'm just being too demanding and unreasonable about things...maybe it's me that's the problem.
    The only reason I'm trying to seek help on here is because I have no idea about relationships and how they're meant to be, I know they're all different but I just don't know if where I am with him right now is in fact what I want?

    You are not being demanding and unreasonable (Y'know, unless you're constantly on him and being irrational). If you want passion in your relationship and you feel that you're lacking. Talk to him about it. Be an adult. If he doesn't change, then he's just not the right one for you. Don't fit a square peg in a round hole. No matter how much lube you use, it just ain't gonna work.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    I think that before breaking up, talk to him about it and see if it's something you can work on. Maybe the problem is him and he's not that into it or not that good at showing affection (I have that problem), maybe the problem is you having low self-esteem or extremely high expectations.
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    In my experience- new relationships especially are full of passion- i.e. that butterfly in the stomach, can't wait to rip his clothes off and fck against the wall.

    Now, after being married for 8 years and with him for 13- passion is up and down depending on real life. But the foundation is there after that long.
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    How new is this relationship?

    Sometimes, there's just no head over heels passion and lust when you live together and are washing dirty clothes while he mows the lawn.

    Unless you take a shower together afterward. :wink:
  • ChgingMe
    ChgingMe Posts: 539 Member
    Girl please. Ive been married to my husband for going on 24 years. We have been together for almost 26. The fire and the passion is as alive as it was when we first got together. The beginning of any relationship is usually when the passion first explodes. If ya aint getting your needs met now, you won't later. Women especially need to feel wanted and desired. My advice to you would be to find someone who compliments you. A ying to your yang so to speak. If this guy isn't it then let him go.

    One more thing. Relationships should never be a burden or cumbersome. If it is you should get out.
  • gsager
    gsager Posts: 977 Member
    I know what you mean, I want attention and I don't get it. Think it's better to be alone than ignored. Like I tell my boyfriend, I can hurt my own feelings. Good luck to you!
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    Something I'd like to add..

    Do YOU ever make HIM feel wanted? Are you ever spontaneous? Do you actually try to come on to him?

    Treat others how you want to be treated. If I lay around all day and act like I have no interest.. He's not interested either. Sometimes I blatantly have to say "come to bed, I want to do it."
  • ksumme
    ksumme Posts: 283
    In my experience- new relationships especially are full of passion- i.e. that butterfly in the stomach, can't wait to rip his clothes off and fck against the wall.

    Now, after being married for 8 years and with him for 13- passion is up and down depending on real life. But the foundation is there after that long.

    ^^ This

    I have been married over 16 years, and with my husband for right at 19 years. My husband is much more 'passive' than I am, and I tell him if I feel like I am instigating things most for a while, and see if there is anything bothering him. There have been times during our marriage where I felt he didn't desire me as much. However, that wasn't the case. He does have depression, and there were a few years where it was really bad. However, early on, passion was never an issue.

    If you love him, talk to him about it.

    Good luck!!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    yes and we love sharing a bed every chance we get.
  • calichica35
    calichica35 Posts: 229 Member
    My relationship with pizza does...unfortunately
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    Everyone needs some kind of passion. You want a partner, not a sibling.
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
    Get a puppy and Radio Shack always has batteries on sale
  • TKCG74
    TKCG74 Posts: 9 Member
    From the man section, if he doesn't know that passion and attention is what you want or need............ FIND one who will!!!! Do not go through a relationship or life in general wanting more. If you want it and he can't or won't give it.......Move on.

    For example, I joined MPF for my wife. She was not have any luck going though this on her own, so along with everything I do, I am now her workout partner, trainer, and coach. We work twice and day 4 days a week. There are hundreds of things I could do other than workout, but this goal is important to her.

    So tell him to step up, or step out.

    Good luck.
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    Everyone needs some kind of passion. You want a partner, not a sibling.

    I just want someone i can call and she can be here in 10 minutes. who would that be? hmmmmmm
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    Absolutely!

    If there was no passion....I'd be outta here in a flash.
  • PittShkr
    PittShkr Posts: 1,000 Member
    May I ask if you sleep in the same bed or not?
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    Everyone needs some kind of passion. You want a partner, not a sibling.

    I just want someone i can call and she can be here in 10 minutes. who would that be? hmmmmmm

    Quit stalking me, Pectacular!
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    I change my answer to:

    Just break up.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    May I ask if you sleep in the same bed or not?

    :embarassed:
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    Everyone needs some kind of passion. You want a partner, not a sibling.

    but what about passion between siblings....hmmmmm

    also...your bf likes boys.
  • emmy3111
    emmy3111 Posts: 482 Member
    I would say I'm pretty new to relationships, especially serious ones. I was just wondering if it's abnormal to not have any passion, I never feel like I'm 'wanted' or desired by my boyfriend and it sucks because that's one thing I find really important. I want like what P!nk has in her 'Try' film clip :I

    how old are you and how long have you been together? need some background...
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    I would say I'm pretty new to relationships, especially serious ones. I was just wondering if it's abnormal to not have any passion, I never feel like I'm 'wanted' or desired by my boyfriend and it sucks because that's one thing I find really important. I want like what P!nk has in her 'Try' film clip :I

    how old are you and how long have you been together? need some background...

    She's given us PLENTY of background in her previous posts from a few months back. Don't think because you change your name and avatar, we don't know it's you. Sorry if I'm being mean..it's not really me style...but....

    If this "new" boyfriend is the same guy you were with a few months back who doesn't like sleeping in the same bed with you and a whole slew of other things you didn't know might be "abnormal"..we told you then and the answers are still the same...YES, very abnormal. The problem seems to be with you realizing that this relationship is not working for you.....
  • ggcat
    ggcat Posts: 313 Member
    Girl please. Ive been married to my husband for going on 24 years. We have been together for almost 26. The fire and the passion is as alive as it was when we first got together. The beginning of any relationship is usually when the passion first explodes. If ya aint getting your needs met now, you won't later. Women especially need to feel wanted and desired. My advice to you would be to find someone who compliments you. A ying to your yang so to speak. If this guy isn't it then let him go.

    One more thing. Relationships should never be a burden or cumbersome. If it is you should get out.

    I only have 3 years with my man and it still feels like the first 6 months!!!!!! I couldn't agree more with ^^^^^^ :heart:
  • cbear017
    cbear017 Posts: 345 Member
    If memory serves me correctly you posted not too long ago about how your bf makes you sleep in a separate bed! That there is craziness.

    Sounds like you're less of a gf and more of a roommate he likes having around on his own terms.

    Sorry to sound so harsh, but you deserve so much more.
  • Aliciaaah
    Aliciaaah Posts: 379 Member
    This is a weird question for me, because in my relationship, my boyfriend infatuated with me. He thinks I'm so sexy, and he's totally the passionate romantic one. But as for me, I love him. I really do. The thing is, I don't really find people SEXY. I don't have THAT kind of attraction towards anyone really. I find people attractive based on certain features, but there aren't really any celebrities that I'd jump bones with in a second, like other people might.

    This bugs him, like I'm sure it bugs you. Although he understands that I'm almost asexual in that way (we have sex and I like sex, it's just the whole attraction and sexiness thing I don't have) he would rather I lust after him the way he does after me. I should add that we've been together for 7 years on the 20th, so this isn't some new thing. And it's pretty much been this way from the beginning, it's not like my passion just faded.

    That being said though, we do have a passionate relationship in other respects. Our humor, our arguments, and all of that are very heated and lively and we really are best friends. We get at each other's throats, we crack each other up, we make fun of each other, we cook together, we shower together, we're absolutely a team and we just work. We love each other.
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
    maybe your sandwiches aren't great

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