Advice needed, from a very worried Mom! please help?

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Replies

  • katie070563
    katie070563 Posts: 246
    What are you frightened of that makes you leave it so long before calling the police? The police will be interested in your missing son. Is it normal for him not to give you any details whatsoever of his girl friends and work? I can understand the confidentiality stuff behind the security work, but such organisations usually have sophisticated monitoring systems and reporting systems to keep tabs on their employees and protect their welfare. This all sounds quite strange, so you really should contact the police as they are the best to help you.

    Good luck
  • knwitall
    knwitall Posts: 420 Member
    I'm a 911 dispatcher and i've taken calls like this before. You need to call the police. Explain whats going on and give them all the information that you have. I'm sure there's something they can do to help find out more information at least. It's a huge red flag the fact that all his cell phones are dead. That's very odd. I hope you get in contact with him. You're in my prayers.
  • omorgano
    omorgano Posts: 53 Member
    This whole thing seems off. You don't know where he works (even though you have his security badge and said it was located in Wolverhampton), you don't know where he lives (except that he used to live in Manchester, which an hour and a half away from where you said his company is) and you don't know who his girlfriend is (even though they just went on holiday to Spain) Good luck
  • bhfood
    bhfood Posts: 77
    I think you should call the police and file a missing person's report. It certainly is warranted. I will pray you hear from him soon.
  • deemuffie
    deemuffie Posts: 14 Member
    Good LUCK and Prayers Your way..
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    I am sending good vibes your way. I understand your worries and understand why you would wait. I do hope you keep us posted. You've got a supportive group here.
  • olgamarie_t
    olgamarie_t Posts: 58 Member
    contact the police where he is at, keep us posted
  • _CowgirlUp_
    _CowgirlUp_ Posts: 585 Member
    Is NikkNak85 back?

    i was thinking something very similar :S and felt guilty for it too!

    Interesting...
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
    This whole thing seems off. You don't know where he works (even though you have his security badge and said it was located in Wolverhampton), you don't know where he lives (except that he used to live in Manchester, which an hour and a half away from where you said his company is) and you don't know who his girlfriend is (even though they just went on holiday to Spain) Good luck

    Totally not passing the sniff test...
  • rockingallovertheworld
    rockingallovertheworld Posts: 89 Member
    Bump
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    if he's used this site contact the administrators and see if they can get you access to his profile and copies of the messages he's posted. same thing with other social sites. contact the police as well.

    I don't recall her saying that he uses this site, but she could do a search herself. To ask the administrators to go into his profile without a court order might be against the rules of this site and the law.
  • RubyRubixcube
    RubyRubixcube Posts: 258 Member
    maybe he's just trying to find himself
  • wallisjules
    wallisjules Posts: 18
    hope you hear from him soon. YOu need to know more about your son. Get to know his girlfriend would be a start. When you find him asked them over for the weekend and explain how all this unknow is effecting you.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    Hi All,

    Just thought I would update you! My eldest son did a bit of digging this morning and got the name of the company that the `missing son` works for so I managed to speak with someone this morning :-) I had to do quite a bit of security checks due to the data protection act. They wouldn`t tell me where he is still, but they told me he is fine.

    they have promised that they will pass on a message to him for him to phone me in the next few days.

    so I feel so much better and that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach has finally gone.

    But I feel like strangling him now I know he is OK, for not contacting me and making me worry so much !!!

    Thank you again for all your advice and encouragement xx
  • annarouni
    annarouni Posts: 127 Member
    We are all relieved with you! And a few of us may wish to assist you when you scold him, too. :wink:

    You could have him take a look at this thread to let him know how much worry over him was actually
    going on. That may help counter the "oh, mother, don't overdo it" comment he may wish to give. And
    get him to think twice about going off the radar without calling you. Take care and smile. :flowerforyou:
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    Oh GOOD!! Now strangle him when you see him!
    I am a big fan of courtesy communication, whether you are "trying to find yourself" or not. He will find out one day, if he ever has kids.

    SO RELIEVED, I was worried for you!
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    I know kids eh! Who in the right mind would have them???

    Will really give him a telling off that`s for sure.

    The upside is now I have the name and phone number of his company, so IF there is ever a repeat I can phone them.

    The downside is I got my appetite back lol:noway:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I read the beginning and the end of this thread. I was going to say call the police where he lives, but thankfully that isn't necessary. So glad it turned out OK!
  • CarmenSRT
    CarmenSRT Posts: 843 Member
    After he found out his mom called his employer (for which he'll likely take justifiable ribbing) I suspect he'll be far more willing to check in with you in the future - if only to avoid a repeat. :laugh:
  • m1311
    m1311 Posts: 103 Member
    This whole thread reminds me that I don't have my daughters' newest roommates' telephone numbers. I hope that when your son does call you, you ask for his girlfriend's name and phone, as well as the name and phone of a male friend.
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
    i am so happy to hear your son is okay. i don't have children so i can't even begin to imagine the worry/panic/pain you were going through for those days.

    you can smile a bit knowing his coworkers are going to have fun with teasing him about his mom calling work. :)
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
    I'm relieved he's okay, but maybe he COULDN'T call you. That could be the nature of his job, since he's in security and can't give you any details about any of it. Sometimes they have to go off the radar for a while. I know it's hard, but maybe you should get used to not hearing him for stretches at a time. Perhaps you can befriend his girlfriend, and she can let you know when he's going to be out of touch for 1-2 weeks so you don't worry. Or, ask him to let you know so you don't wonder where he is all that time. When my boyfriend and I go on vacation, I tell my parents they won't hear from me for a week or two since we're going to be out of town. I call them as soon as I get home.
  • SRH7
    SRH7 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Glad to hear he's okay. Give him a clip round the ear next time you see him (followed by a big hug, I'm sure!).
  • kgprncss01
    kgprncss01 Posts: 40 Member
    Yay!!!!!
  • rockingallovertheworld
    rockingallovertheworld Posts: 89 Member
    So glad he is okay :) It's part of our job as a Mum to worry about the kids no matter how old or where in the world they are.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    Just out of interest for all you people that have supported me with your help..

    The girl he went on holiday with for a few days was not his `girlfriend` but a girl friend. So this is why I don`t know her, she may even be in the same line of work as him I really don`t know.

    His last girlfriend from about 1 year ago, I do actually keep in touch with as she was a lovely girl :ohwell: things don`t always last, wish that they had, as she was like a daughter I never had!!
  • SRH7
    SRH7 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Just out of interest for all you people that have supported me with your help..

    The girl he went on holiday with for a few days was not his `girlfriend` but a girl friend. So this is why I don`t know her, she may even be in the same line of work as him I really don`t know.

    His last girlfriend from about 1 year ago, I do actually keep in touch with as she was a lovely girl :ohwell: things don`t always last, wish that they had, as she was like a daughter I never had!!

    No need at all to explain. At that age I never told my parents about any of my boyfriends until they got to a point where it was 'meet the parents', which very few ever made it to! If I had gone AWOL they wouldn't have had details on who to contact.

    Must be really difficult to be a mum yet let your children be independent and have their own lives. Must be even more difficult with boys! I phone my mum almost every day but she is lucky to hear from my brother (who lives in Australia) once every two months.

    Just really glad your son is safe.
  • annarouni
    annarouni Posts: 127 Member
    Oh no, sorry to hear the appetitie is back, You had probably hoped it would stay missing
    for a bit longer, right? Wouldn't we all! The supply of celery and carrot sticks is at the
    ready in the fridge I trust. Some vigorous crunching could do wonders in a lot of ways.
    Have a lovely, calm weekend. :flowerforyou:
  • katie070563
    katie070563 Posts: 246
    So glad to hear that all is well, have a good weekend
  • zebisis
    zebisis Posts: 157
    I am glad all is well- I am a mom, and understand worrying- but I went out of contact many times from age 17-24 for far longer than 10 days!!! Children will eventually pull away, and, though it isn't what parents want, it is normal. Chances are that he has you as an emergency contact somewhere, or someone else close to you is one, so if something bad were to happen, chances are good that you will be notified.
    He is 24, not 16!! ;)

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