need adviced

porterbaby38

i need some advice. my man has some medical problems. he keeps telling me that he needs to lose weight, but he won't. he tells me all the time that his legs and feet hurts or just feel terrible. his main doctor tells him to watch his carbs. and sweets, but that all he wants to eat. he won't listen to me, about anything. he won't eat anything that's good for him. then when i fix it for him and he know i'm been losing weight and still trying to lose weight, it's like he doesn't care enough about my weight lose. i can't say anything to him, because he simply won't listen to me. he's a diabetic. he's not on medicine for it, the doctor told him to watch what he eats. what am i suppose to do ? he's afraid of losing me to losing weight, that once i get to my goal he thinks i'll leave him. but most of all i'm afraid of losing him.

HonestOmnivore

I've been in s similar situation. My husband takes oral medication for his diabetes but he's not checking his blood sugar, he drinks too much alcohol (not a drinker but too much for a diabetic!) and he eats crap.

I sat him down and explained what his future is going to look like if he keeps this up. I told him that I love him but I'm not going to let him CHOOSE to end up in diapers before his time and expect me to take care of him:huh: . I told him that he can buck up and work with me so we can both be healthy as a gift to ourselves and each other.

He :grumble: sulked and whined and was pissy about this talk but I set my jaw and emptied the house of the junk food. I told our friends to STOP bringing him fun micro brews to try. And I when I invite him to walk with me and he says no I tell him "And this DOES make me mad! I love you and I expect you to do this for me!" and then I go without him. Three months later it's starting to work.

Although tonight he made jalapeno poppers I'd bought for a friends birthday dinner... but over all he's coming around.

All is fair in love and war. This really is life or death.

Just sayin!

Andi1977

I understand about a dibetic memeber of family not doing what the doc. says I lost my grandmother and her dibites was one of the main causes also her weight, Not I lookat myself and wonder where all this weight has come from. I have tried before to lose weight bet he likes to sabatoge me.. He is a fraid of losing me also.. He is my heart I can't be the perosn I want with out him.. He understands now I think.. good luck to you!!

lisawest

You've heard the saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." That is where your husband is right now. You are showing him the "water" but he's just not ready to drink yet. Unfortunately for him and you I know it is frustrating.

My only advice, and please take it for what it is, a stranger's advice, is to talk with him. Explain that you are not losing the weight so you can move on to someone else, you're doing it so you will be healthy and will be able to spend a longer, better life with HIM. Also explain that you are worried about what his doctor has said, and that if he doesn't take the doctor's advice he WILL lose you because he will be dead! Harsh I know, sorry. But maybe he needs to realize that he's so concerned about you losing weight and that he'll lose you because of it. Meanwhile, he most certainly WILL lose you if he doesn't take care of his health problems. It won't be because you leave him, it will be because he has left you.

Scary stuff, but it might be what he needs to convince him to "drink."

Good luck. I'll be praying.

arewethereyet

Maybe when he sees you are feeling so much better, physically and mentally, he will want to join in?

I pray for that for you. I husband lost 20 pounds when I started my new way of life. I make him lunch now.

I have always bought and cooked the food. He will eat what I cook, or cook for himself!

I have been doing this for 18 months. Last week he asked if he could cook the burgers. I said sure!!
I figured he would put a bunch of crap on them and I would scrape it off.....but didnt want to discourage this wonderful behavior

Well he made 4 oz burgers which he weighed, 1 slice of cheese on each which he weighed and the KICKER

HE made BROCCOLI!!!

So they can change...........nagging is different from giving information!!

Good luck Hon....I pray for you:flowerforyou:

porterbaby38

thanks everyone for your advice and support. i appreicate it.

emilyfh

you really need to set him down and tell him like it is. Im a diabetic and if not watched it could result in comma or death. He has a serious problem, maybe he should go to another doctor, doesnt sound like he cares if he lives or dies. I would also remove all unhealthy food from your house, sure make some healthy desserts and hopefully he will come around.

kellygirl5538

He sounds like my dad, no changing him. but maybe you can your husband!

iplayoutside19

i need some advice. my man has some medical problems. he keeps telling me that he needs to lose weight, but he won't. he tells me all the time that his legs and feet hurts or just feel terrible. his main doctor tells him to watch his carbs. and sweets, but that all he wants to eat. he won't listen to me, about anything. he won't eat anything that's good for him. then when i fix it for him and he know i'm been losing weight and still trying to lose weight, it's like he doesn't care enough about my weight lose. i can't say anything to him, because he simply won't listen to me. he's a diabetic. he's not on medicine for it, the doctor told him to watch what he eats. what am i suppose to do ? he's afraid of losing me to losing weight, that once i get to my goal he thinks i'll leave him. but most of all i'm afraid of losing him.

Like my wife said. You can tell him anything you want, but he's not going to do anything until he wants to. However, If you do the shopping you can control what comes into the house. It won't stop him from buying his own junk, but he'll have to go out of his way to do it.

sissy56

My husband and I have been together 11 years and I was always the one going to the gym and watching my weight. I was very concerned about his health, especially blood pressure and diabetes. My "encouraging" him did not help at all. I finally decided just to leave him alone about it, but I did keep praying. Last March, though, he decided to really commit and has lost about 30 pounds with about 30 more to go. I know it's very slow, but we travel a crazy amount and he has to attend a lot of meeting where dinner is served. Now he's the good influence on me. Don't give up hope.

porterbaby38

thanks everyone