life style advice

elizak87

Today my partner told me that he will be moving in during the last week of November. We have had a long distance relationship for a year now and see each other every two to three weeks. I usually have at least one blow out day when he is down but it didn't impact me given how far apart they were. My partner is double my weight. Since being together I have lost ten kilos, he has gained 16. He is a meat eater, I am vegetarian. He wants to cook for me but cooks with a lot of rice, potato and bread. When he is not here I don't even by bread and would have minimal rice or potatoes. He loves eating out at places like pancake places and steak houses. I would prefer thai or Indian. He was running but stopped December last year. I do zumba, gym, pt sessions and cardio either in or outside during the week. I pack my lunch, he buys his. I meal plan and freeze in bulk. He prefers fresh. I weigh my food!

He is moving to a new area, with a new job, where he knows no one. Whether he wants to get fit or not doesn't worry me. What I do want to do is maintain a healthy life style for me but not neglect him and isolate him. I don't want to drag him along if he doesn't want to go or make the man starve. I am so used to living alone that I haven't got a clue how to fit another person in my routine. Anyone have any ideas? Has anyone made this work?

diva7531

I would definitely start the change now when you see him. Try eating in instead of eating out. Cook together so you both know what the other likes. DH is a heavier guy and I am doing my best to stay on my diet. I have a diverse palate, DH only likes meat and potatoes and sometimes will force himself to eat veggies. So I do the food shopping now to keep my healthy foods in the house. I stick to my diet for breakfast and lunch (I am a lunch packer too) and for dinner use a scale and a measuring cup so I can eat what everyone else is eating, just in moderation. If it is a super bad meal I will have just a bit and a large salad.

Good Luck it will be a lot of change and you may have bad days but the best thing you can do is forgive yourself and start new the next day

JesterMFP

I would think one of the most important things is to have a good conversation with him about it all, if you haven't already. Tell him what you've said here, make it clear that you aren't trying to change him, but that you're committed to your lifestyle, and don't want to backslide once he moves in.

It's inevitable that you'll both have to make some compromises. You'll have to decide how much you're willing to compromise or sacrifice with regards to your activities. Depending on how busy you are, you might decide to drop one of your activities a week, in order to spend that time with him. It might be that you agree to drop a session or two in the first few weeks in order to help him settle in more, but agree that after a period of time you'll want to continue as you were before. Perhaps you could find activities to do together that will enable you to be active, while not being a workout as such - whether going for a walk, or dancing or whatever. Kind of depends what he's interested in, but he might agree to doing something a bit more active if it means spending time with you.

I think if he is really stuck on having a very different diet from you, you'll have to accept that most of your meals will be different, and each take responsibility for making your own. It's not ideal, but some couples do that. Or, you could have a couple of days a week like that, and the rest of the week have more of a compromise meal where it's fairly healthy, but he gets to have larger portions if he wants, and gets to have meat with whatever you're having. It might take a bit of experimenting to find meals that you both like, he might have to learn to cook stuff that is less carb-based, if you don't like eating that stuff.

Going out, I guess you could just alternate going to you kind of place, with going to his kind of place. For the types he likes, try to choose places where you know you can get a healthier choice, or a chain where you can get the nutritional info, so at least you're not stressing out over it, while he's enjoying his favourites.

It sounds like you really have his best interests at heart, and hopefully the same can be said for him. I think just try to talk about it as much as you can, cover all potential scenarios. Try to work out which parts of his lifestyle might annoy you the most, or make your life more difficult, and vice versa.