Can anyone relate?

tiffanygil

I need some help, sometimes I feel like I am going crazy!

Im running into problems i never foresaw on this road to fitness. I feel like I dont know myself anymore. I have always been big and by the time i was 23 I was okay with that. I had self confidence even as a big girl. I didnt allow that to be who I was or so I thought. It turns out I was so wrong. I have always been someone could take advantage of because of my nature to over help people (drives my family crazy) and now that I look back, if I am honest with myself, it was because I wanted people to see past the fat and love me for an exta gererous person I was.

Well now I am 85lbs lighter and dont know who I am. I mean physically and mentally. Family members and people Ive known my whole life dont even know its me until I talk. Now, I am not complaining I think its awesome but on a whole nother level its trips me out. You live with a chunky face your whole life and now I look in the mirror and search for who I am.

Please tell me I am not the only one with this problem. I love my new life and my new body and face, but how do I intergrade my 2 selfs? If I am not the codependent fat girl who am I?
Thanks for listening and would love to hear what you guys think.

(LOL Wow...I just read over this and I do sound crazy)

veganmommy04

well this isn't exactly the same, but with me my problem is no matter how much weight i lose or how my body changes, i still see me as fat, and i want to lose more, tone more, be "perfect", but honestly i feel inside that no matter how small i get i will always see me as fat and want to lose more. EVERYONE tells me i look great where i am, but i don't see it. and it's not to get compliments, i truely don't see it when i look at myself. i mean i know i look better than i did, but i'm still not happy. sorry to ramble. just letting you know i have issues w this too, may not be the same issues, but issues still.

havingitall

Are you saying that you want to be more selfish now? Being nice to people doesn't have to happen just because you are overweight. You can still be generous and kind and skinny too!

allyson2212

I cant relate, Im sorry But I wanted to congratulate you on your loss, thats great!! I know it had to take a lot of hard work to get to where you are today, so what I would consider you as is a determined, strong minded, healthy woman who is figuring out her NEW future! Look at this as a new start! You dont WANT to be that fat codependent girl anymore, do you? People will get to know and love the NEW you sooner than you realize! Its time to take this new body and new mind to the next level. Good luck hun, and I admire you for what you have accomplished!

ali258

I can definitely relate. I gained back the 80 lbs I lost 2.5 years ago for very much of the same reason (that and feeling like I didn't have the time to invest in my anymore and being very uncomfortable with the attention I started getting when I looked better). Now that I'm losing it back again, I'm reading some self-help books on dealing with the psychological aspects of weight loss. I just got two from my public library yesterday. Also, I haven't read it yet, but Valerie Bertinelli wrote one called "Finding It" and it's supposed to be about her struggle with maintenance and dealing with being done losing weight. My plan is to go talk to a therapist when I start getting back to where I was before. Maybe talking to someone could give you some ideas how to adjust to the new you and how to reconcile your old fat and happy self with your new skinny and happy self.

Just don't give up on yourself. I did, and I regret it.

-Alison

Hels40

Congratulations on your weight loss

I have felt exactly the same as you,i lost over 6 stones a few years ago and i hadn't weighed that little since i was a teenager,i felt great and got sooo many comments and congratulations and i really did feel fantastic BUT i didn't feel the same person any more either. I felt as if i had been put into a slimmer body and just didn't know what to do with myself.
It really freaked me out and over the years i have gained most of it back. For me,the problem was i lost the weight so quickly and didnt have time to think about how i would be with the "new me" and it freaked me so much that i started my comfort eating.
LOL a few years later and i am back to square one,although i am aiming to lose 6 stones this time but i was a little heavier then.
It was an eye opener for me back then and ofcoarse i know what to expect this time.
You will be fine tho,enjoy the new you :smooched:

tiffanygil

Oh no! But my weight played such a big part in how I looked at myself, subcon. or not. I still am very empathetic but the driving force I think was the wieght before.