Scared to eat

tdp575

I'm starting to worry about every calorie I take in. I keep thinking that I'm being a pig even though I'm a little under my caloric goal everyday, except for one day. My mom had gotten me a sandwich and I found out that sandwich was over 800 calories alone. I felt so horrible when I learned how much I consumed at one sitting. I'm with my boyfriend and his friends a lot. They're constantly eating fatty foods. We went to the bar Friday night and I didn't drink any alcohol. I just had a can of diet Pepsi, which I barely touched and a piece of sugar-free gum. Then, when we got home, they had pizza and I wouldn't eat any. Yesterday, my boyfriend bought me a bunch of healthy food to help me stay on track. I had my healthy meals, while they ate more pizza and fried mushrooms. Now, my boyfriend's mom just made a huge roast with gravy, butter-drenched veggies, and homemade white bread. My boyfriend and his friend just ordered out from Pizza Hut. I just ate my light soup and a small bag of cracker chips, while they ate that stuff they ordered. I feel kind of guilty from what I've ate today. It's so hard to be around all of this food that I love(ed) so much. I want to eat it, but I don't want to eat it. I hope that makes sense! I have no intentions about giving in to over eating, but I'm just worried about starving myself. I beat myself up too much =[ Please, someone talk me out of this thinking! I really need support right now!

lwagnitz

I get the same way sometimes. It's like I go from one extreme to the other. I wish I could offer more advice.

DenyseMarieL

This is the hardest part of a lifestyle change! Just remember how horrible those high fat, greasy, gross foods are for you body. Once you see them that way, they won't be so hard to give up. You are doing this change for YOU and nobody else.

katevarner

Your diary is closed, so kinda hard to tell you whether what you are doing is right, altho avoiding all of that other food certainly is. Don't starve yourself, but don't give in to your old habits.

SueInAz

I think you are being too hard on yourself. Yes, it's really hard to resist the foods we love that we know aren't good for us. It sounds to me like you really have that part down, though. Your willpower isn't the issue here.

As long as you are eating (mostly) healthy, and keeping within your calorie goals most days (but not too far under) you're doing fine. You really are allowed to slip up once in awhile as long as you get right back onto the right path the next day. If we never gave in to temptation - in moderation! - most of us would go stark, raving mad.

shade0343

It does get better. The tough thing is learning moderation. That includes being able to eat a moderate amount of the fun stuff. Personally I would stay away from the diet soda. Go for a mixed drink with a little bit of fruit juice and drink it.... moderately. There is a book called 'The Perfect Ten Diet'. I urge you to read it. I don't agree with everything in there. That being said there is a lot of very sensible commentary on food and diet. Fat is not the enemy. It's necessary and what lets you know you have eaten enough. I do agree with you that the struggle between what you want and what you need can be tough. Hang in there and do not cut yourself off completely from the foods you love. Just eat less. Good Luck!

tdp575

I just made my diary public. I've actually been losing weight pretty fast. 3lbs in under a week. I started on Monday and weighed myself yesterday. Went from 182 to 179. I pretty much allow myself to eat what I want, but cut the portions and no seconds. I'm slowly adding healthier stuff in there and getting rid of the bad.

wikpix

maybe when you are at your boyfriends place and planning to have a meal there, ask if you can have some veggies without the butter, just a spray of olive oil. Or even offer to prepare a meal and make a nice healthy and tasty dish.

With things like the sandwich your mum got for you - don't stress over it, there is nothing you can do about it if you already ate it. Just learn from the situation and move on and maybe try to get out for a walk or a bit of extra exercise.

This is a journey for all of us and we learn things along the way. You have to be your number 1 fan so don't be too hard on yourself.

lwagnitz

You're not eating enough. You should net MINIMUM 1,200 calories. Seriously, take it from someone who knows, eating under will lead to more problems than just being overweight. I lost hair, my nails broke, I was tired ALL the time, and I'd lose 10lbs and gain 15lbs. Please be careful.

tdp575

I know that some days I'm under by a lot, but I'm not trying to eat that little. My food just adds up that way I guess. I was only eating 3 meals and now I've added a few snacks. I'm going to get some fresh fruit this week and veggies as well. I do drink water with those low-cal flavor packets. I'm trying to wean myself off of the soda. I already plan to quit drinking alcohol. Thanks everyone for the advice/kind words!

lwagnitz

I know it's difficult, and I've had that problem, too. Where I'm just not hungry anymore and I'm way under my cals. I don't eat a lot of meat so that's usually why and I load on veggies usually. Try and get some high calorie healthy foods in if you're not too hungry, like some almonds, or a tablespoon of peanutbutter.

withchaco

I know that some days I'm under by a lot, but I'm not trying to eat that little. My food just adds up that way I guess.

It might help if you plan your day's menu in advance, so you won't find out too late that you went over or too severely under.

Leisalynn84

How many calories are you trying to eat in a day? Are you exercising? And if so, are you eating your calories back? Chances are half of that 800 calorie sandwich, a small salad and tall glass of water would fill you up. Then, if you do an hour of an areobic type workout you have almost burnned the calories of that entire meal. Same with the pizza, have a small slice and work out. For drinking stick w/ vodka, light beer or bacardi and diet soda in moderation. It might take a few weeks but it will all feel normal soon enough. Planning my meals and snacks in advance helps me too, if I know what I'm going to be eating every few hours I'm less likely to eat junk just because its there.

schmenge55

Hey your town is not boring! I agree with what the other posters are saying. I will also add that while this site by design has one counting every calorie in reality things are not that exact. Any given day all kinds of things can bump up what you need or drop it down a bit. It is really all about balance over the long haul. There is nothing wrong with having a slice or pizza or a beer now and then, you just need to balance that out with other choices.

JLD81

Don't view this as a diet. Don't look at this as trying to be skinny. View this as a change to be healthy, for life, and for good. Skinny is no good if you kill yourself to get there. Don't go down the starvation path. It will cost dearly in the end. Just start working out more and view your body like you would your car. You aren't going to put crap in your gas take and expect it to run or last. You aren't going to run your car without enough gas because you will break down on the side of the highway. Just like a car, you body needs food for fuel. Think about the quality of the fuel you are putting into your body, and like your car, our bodies are built for motion. Stay active, fuel your body, and everything else will fall into place.

tdp575

I actually have been starting to plan meals a day ahead lol....I'm trying to consume 1,360 calories per day. According to my diary, I only had 933 calories yesterday. Today, I've only had 920 calories, unless I add more for today. I'll try the peanut butter idea, thanks again everyone!

DrMAvDPhD

Calculate your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE). Look at that number. You have to eat 3500 calories OVER that number to gain a pound of fat. Not 3500 calories over the number MFP is giving you to lose weight.

Don't be afraid to eat. Fear of food says your on the path to an eating disorder. Food is your friend, not your enemy.

tdp575

I've always said this is a lifestyle change. It has to continue after the weight is gone. This is for life. I'll check the TDEE out, thanks! That's what I'm worried about, I don't want an eating disorder. I want to be healthy.

ShyCat

Keep those calories up as you're trying to do! I am not an expert, but have long heard that if you take in too few, your body will go into "starvation mode" and not burn calories as readily as it would otherwise. I'm sure there are people here who could verify if that's the case.

All that to say that if you cut too far back, it may well impede rather than help your progress.

Also -- I am worried that you may be getting too obsessed with the details here, and may end up approaching your diet in a non-healthy way. Have you spoken with your doctor about not only your diet, but some of the details you have written in your posts? S/he may have some help for you.

tdp575

When I talked to my doctor last year, she wanted me to get to 130lbs. She said to eat 5 to 6 small meals per day. She also wanted me to exercise 5 times per week for 30 minutes. She told me to take the weight off slowly. Like 1lbs to 2lbs per week. She even wanted to set me up with a nutritionist. I do have an obsessive personality. I'm worried I'll go to the opposite extreme. I always seem to do one extreme and then go to another extreme. I need to find a healthy balance.

fiercekindness

I, too, struggle sometimes with the fear of food. I think I eat an overall balance diet. I do plan my meals in advance and log on the computer or in my notebook what I eat everyday. And I exercise on average 6x a week. I am at a healthy weight, and I actually can eat a little more according to my nutritionist and still maintain a healthy weight. But sometimes I fear food. I fear if I eat something unplanned I'll gain like a 5 pounds. I know thats unrealistic. I am sure the problem is much deeper which I am still working through. After all I've spent all of my life being (335lbs) heavy and being an complusive and emotional eater. I guess in many ways, I find myself still fighting to remain in control of my eating and choices of food. My nutritionist tells me that I need to live a little and not be so strict. And I do sometimes indulge, but I guess there is that lurking fear of....I am going to lose control. I don't know. I know food is not my enemy, and its there to nourish and fuel our bodies. But sometimes I feel like it taunts me. Does anyone else feels that way? And then I have people in my life who can eat whatever they want and whenever they want without even the slightest hesitation, and its unnerving. And then there are people who are always trying to throw food at me and and accusing me of not eating enough, being too thin, or starving or etc. I know that I am at a healthy weight 5'5, 131 pounds, and I know I eat plenty 1500-1800 calories a daily. And sometimes when I see foods that I would love to just indulge in, it's a struggle inside. I don't feel deprived. I just feel scared of it. And one my say, oh go ahead and have it, you could eat a few of them. The truth is, I could, but the problem is the aftermath... I will obsess about it and then think that maybe I need to go and exercise or something. I don't like thinking that way. It's crazy. Can anyone else relate as to where I coming from.