Love Triangle: Do YOU think it is possible??

KRaemondH

My friend, lets call her Jen for the sake of saving face, has recently told me of this dilema. Not looking for judgement on this topic, just wondering what everyone else thinks. After we talked I did some internet research and read quite a few articles and now, I wanna know what the MFP family thinks.

Jen has had three great loves in her life. The first, when she was 17 and he was the first. Broke her heart in two, he loved her too poor thing. Things just didn't pan out as relationships do at that age. The second was a guy named Paul. Funny, smart, cocky, beautiful man that every woman would want to be with. He chose her. He had some baggage to deal with and felt he needed to get away from where they lived to work them out. They kept in contact but eventually lost most of it.
He was the one that got away.
Eventually years later she met the third, John. A hallarious, sexy, protective, providing wonderful man. They dated for 3 years and decided they would get married. They were perfect for one another. Jen still thought about Paul every once in a while and they would Facebook message once in a while. Nothing scandleless, just friendly hellos and check ups.
Eventually Paul wanted to chat on the phone. Jen said sure. They laughed and chatted, things were settled, feelings were expressed and all in all this was the problem...
Paul still cared for Jen. He was so happy she was going to be married and that she found someone who loves her so much. He wanted to be in her life... AND she is the one that got away (basically confessed his love saying she was his dream girl).
Here in lies Jen's inner dilema; she is in love with two men.
She loves her fiancee with her body and soul but, her heart belongs to two people.

Have YOU ever been through this? Have you had the feelings for two people? How did YOU handle it?

Jen will not be having any affairs, she will be getting married in November as planned and she is keeping Paul in her life as well.

What would you do??

animatorswearbras

This is just my opinion.

Basically I would think about it from her fiances point of view, would she be happy if her fiance was keeping in contact with a girl he loved as much as her (the one that got away)

I would say if she really loved the fiance break off the connection to the other guy someone is just going to get hurt, or if she wants to start a relationship with the guy that got away break off the engagement, but she's going to have to choose because it's just not fair on the guy that's getting lead on.

x

Camille0502

I'm a one chance girl. Paul got his one chance now he needs to go away. If it was that great, he would have stuck around. Who's to say that he won't come into her life, have her chase her fiance away, then got cold fet leaving her with no one. Paul needs to go bye bye! Lesson her your friend - do not reconnect with old flames.

IamOnMywayNow

She cant move on with her fiance if she is still hanging on to Paul. It will NEVER work. Either she needs to give her all to her fiance and be happy with that or ditch the fiance and be happy with Paul. She cant have her cake and eat it too. If she chooses to have her marriage and Paul I can guarantee that she will be having an affair, basically she already is, it is called a emotional affair.

brainfreeze72

This is just my opinion.

Basically I would think about it from her fiances point of view, would she be happy if her fiance was keeping in contact with a girl he loved as much as her (the one that got away)

I would say if she really loved the fiance break off the connection to the other guy someone is just going to get hurt, or if she wants to start a relationship with the guy that got away break off the engagement, but she's going to have to choose because it's just not fair on the guy that's getting lead on.

x

THIS.

Plus, there is a reason the first time around with the old flame didn't work out.

dakotababy

Once Jen was in the long-term, serious relationship with the potential for marriage she should have not communicated with an ex knowing there was potential for rekindling. Big mistake. When you Find The One (John) STOP LOOKING! This could end up as disaster.

Here are a couple of thoughts thoughts.. Perhaps Jen has cold feet.
Perhaps Jen did not get closure with Paul
Perhaps Jen is sabotaging the relationship with John


I think Jen should stop communicating with this guy..Paul. Married or not - it probably is not the time. She needs to tell her future husband, and they need to see counselling prior to marriage. I can assume this is all going on behind John's back which is essentially cheating (Emotional Affair).