WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
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mommared53
Posts: 9,543 Member
in Chit-Chat
WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves
to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the
local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel,
are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of adult diapers and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
medical kit.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time
and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Victoria Secret Catalog look'” by
using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves
to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the
local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel,
are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of adult diapers and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
medical kit.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time
and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Victoria Secret Catalog look'” by
using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
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Replies
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hahahahaha, can't stop laughing, that is great0
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That is so funny! Thanks! (I can totally see that happening!)0
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Very funny. :bigsmile:0
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That's too funny. I think I pee my pants!!!:laugh:0
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Great, I don't know if I should read that to my boyfriend. He will get too many ideas. Funny! I couldn't stop laughing.0
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LOLLLL!!! Now that's FUNNY!!! :drinker: :laugh:
I'd like to meet that guy actually! :bigsmile: :laugh:0 -
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of adult diapers and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
this is much more fun with condoms and elderly peoples carts
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
medical kit.
done it, but to the women's restroom
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
creates more of a stir when you tell people to go to the food aisle and get graham crackers, chocolate bars, and marshmallows
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
done it, not as fun as i would have hoped
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
almost caused an elderly person to have a heart attack with this one
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
ha ha this sounds like a good one to try next time i go out!!!0 -
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of adult diapers and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
this is much more fun with condoms and elderly peoples carts
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
medical kit.
done it, but to the women's restroom
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
creates more of a stir when you tell people to go to the food aisle and get graham crackers, chocolate bars, and marshmallows
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
done it, not as fun as i would have hoped
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
almost caused an elderly person to have a heart attack with this one
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
ha ha this sounds like a good one to try next time i go out!!!
You are too funny!! :laugh: :laugh: I can't believe someone would actually do that stuff. :laugh:0 -
This is such a GREAT Idea!!!!
When my kids were small they would shop with me & I couldn't figure out why people were staring at me well....
They put on hangers in the front on my cart the BIGGEST UNDERWARE & BIGGEST BRA you've ever seen:noway: :noway: :noway:
I was SO EMBARRASSED to say the least:blushing:
Thanks for Sharing:laugh:0 -
This is still funny the second or third time around. This story has circulated in email for several years. This is about the third time I have seen it, but it is STILL funny, though probably not anything that truly happened. At least let's hope not:laugh:0
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