Today I feel like crying because I am SOOOOOOO fat

I rarely talk to anyone about how I feel about my weight, because most days I am in denial and just pretend that being fat doesn't matter. Today I got on the scale for the first time since February. The scale was not pretty. I have gained back the weight that I had previously lost, about 10 pounds, PLUS 4 more pounds. I can not keep doing this for the rest of my life. I want to eat healthy, and I usually don't. Today I have barely ate anything compared to how I usually eat, but I actually am following the plan on here and do not feel very hungry. The biggest thing I want to focus on this week, is NO PEPSI OR CHERRY COKE. I drink them like they are water. I don't care if I exercise this week, but I just want to stop drinking regular pop. I drink it so much, and I do not want to. Today it was so hard to get on the scale, but I actually even went to the store to get a new battery because my scale was dead. I considered leaving it that way, but I knew that I could not keep doing that to myself. I currently way 269.2 lbs, and I do not want to go any higher. It is embarassing to go to the doctor's office, as I am like how much do I weigh now. I will be 40 in March, and I desperately want to get more healthy than I am right now. Does anyone else have 100 or more pounds to lose and not feel motivated? I would strongly appreciate people's insight.
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Replies

  • CricketWhiskers
    CricketWhiskers Posts: 64 Member
    Hey there! Don't beat yourself up about getting motivated. Starting to lose weight is the hardest part because all you can see is how far you have to go. I know EXACTLY how you feel right now, I started out at 282lbs and I cried when I realized how close to 300lbs I was. Just start with baby steps, like cutting out the soda. Very attainable and you will notice a difference quickly! Just hold on to those little victories and don't let feeling discouraged stop you! You CAN do this!!!
  • zebisis
    zebisis Posts: 157
    Add me if you would like! I am highly motivated. :)

    YOU CAN DO IT!
  • ChelseaJewell
    ChelseaJewell Posts: 21 Member
    I am looking at losing at least 143 pounds so I know exactly where you are coming from! I am starting a program at work called Thrive and hoping that will help but it's still hard to get motivated when you feel unhappy with yourself. You weigh what I did in high school and I'll be happy to get back down to that from 323. So don't feel too bad. I know it's hard but you just have to find something satisfying or it won't ever be fun and it'll be a lot harder to stick with. I walk my dogs to get extra cardio in and park farther away from entrances than I used to just to trick myself into doing more. I've lost about 18 pounds before I started myfitnesspal then hit a plateau. I'll add you as a friend so if you ever need moral support you can message me if you want. Sometimes it's just nice to talk to someone who knows what you're going through.
  • I'm sorry you are feeling so down! It is not a fun place to be!

    When I started I had 100 lbs to lose, and honestly I didn't think I'd ever be where I am today. It really is just one day at a time. I couldn't focus on the 100, I focused on 10 at a time.

    Now, diet soda isn't the best, but it's baby steps, so could you switch from regular soda to diet and then slowly cut that down? That might be a starting point for you with that issue.

    You can do this!
  • amydee714
    amydee714 Posts: 232 Member
    I have to lose more than a hundred pounds and there are many times I have to fight to keep myself motivated. But I just keep reminding myself that this is my new life. That I will make this happen and that we all have ups and downs every day about a million different things. Bills, kids, work, weight, spouses... my weight and what I eat is something that I HAVE CONTROL OVER. Knowing that has been the biggest help. I can't help if my car gets a flat tire. I can't help it if my boss is in a bad mood. I can't help if there is a pay freeze at work... but I can control whether or not I eat that doughnut.

    Knowing that I am the one in POWER helps keep my from crying on those days that I want to throw in the towel. I just pick myself up and say "Eff it! I got this!" You can too.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    I have 180 lbs to lose and I've lost 25% of it so far. I know I can do it. I just have to do what I've already done 3 more times. Listen, you need to stop beating yourself up. That's counter-productive. Because accomplishing this goal is gonna be hard and you are gonna need every ounce of confidence you can muster up to get the job done. If you hate yourself you'll never have the power to stick this out. Because you have to love yourself a whole lot to give yourself this kind of gift. But it does require tough love. It's funny that those of us who are so HARD on ourselves become such pushovers when the going gets tough. You gotta be strong and know what you're doing won't be easy, but it will be worth it. You have to be willing to make the changes. Your old life as you knew it is over if you really wanna take this on. My old life was full of eating out at places like olive garden and red robin and now it's full of calorie counting, willpower, and working out. I get to splurge sometimes but it's planned and accounted for. Set goals and stick to them. If you wanna lose 100 pounds you can't quit after losing 10 lbs. You can add me if you are looking for motivation. I'm highly motivated. I'll encourage you but no pity parties.
  • cmcorn26
    cmcorn26 Posts: 253 Member
    you are in the right place! MFP has lots of encouragement and motivation floating around. small steps!
  • MrsSexton2013
    MrsSexton2013 Posts: 98 Member
    Baby steps are great - and it's a hard place to be to be that fat girl. Start by maybe switching to diet soda - as suggested.. small walks.. non-processed food.. you can do this! We are all here to help! Add me if you like :) Hugs!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Cutting out soda (And not replacing it with anything) is a great start. You will see how quickly those calories add up. They aren't worth it.

    Posts like yours always make me tear up a little bit because I remember looking at myself in the mirror and feeling my heart drop, or getting on a scale and wishing so hard it would say something different. It takes a lot of work - And patience more than anything. But if you are committed you DO NOT have to feel this way forever. There are so many people in this community who have been exactly where you are and have made amazing progress. Stick with them, the motivation from others helps immensely.
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
    I started at 269 in March. I've lost about 54 pounds, even with a two-month "break". It sounds like you already know what your weaknesses are and what you should correct. It's hard to take the first step, but I promise it gets easier if you stick to it.

    I really recommend adding exercise to your daily habits, even if it's only 10-20 minutes a day. It will make a difference and help you out.
  • rbear713
    rbear713 Posts: 220 Member
    Please add a bunch of us as friends - after that, just log in every day and wham - instant motivation. Dont Give Up!! You CAN DO IT - get yourself some friends on MFP n you will see - we motivate each other DAILY!

    Come with us!!! You can lose as MUCH as you want!!! YOU CAN!
  • Trostlegirl
    Trostlegirl Posts: 91 Member
    It starts here and gets better. I saw another post today talking about the "aha" moment when it just hits you. You will have your ups and downs and moments where you want to quit, but just keep coming back and logging your food and watching your diet. Every little decision helps. We have all felt this way, but that is what we are all here for! You can do this and be proud of yourself for starting! ; )
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
    Have a good cry and then go for a good long walk. Enjoy the fall air. You can only change one day at a time, so don't get stuck on where you are, but where you want to be and start working toward it. You'll get there, just like so many before you have.
  • vvanm
    vvanm Posts: 157
    Set any goal that shaves off calories. Then look at the past days food log and decide where you could shave a few more. Weigh more often to see if your system needs adjusting. As long as you are losing 1/2 lb a week or more you are going in the right direction and will complete your journey. Drinking a lot of full sugar soda? Shave it in half by mixing with diet and substitute some sparkling water mixed with juice some of the time. See how many calories you can shave just by doing that. Picture yourself at the end of your journey, where weight is no longer on your list of life's issues. It will feel so good!
  • FeebRyan
    FeebRyan Posts: 738 Member
    I need to lose about 140lbs to be considered not 'overweight' I can't even imagine what i will look like that small, i dont think i have ever been that small.

    I had actually put on a bit of weight when i stood on the scale this morning after nearly a whole month of really trying... Gutted i really am.

    But your not alone. You do have to stop drinking fizzy pop, you need to throw away any you have in the house and then not buy any of it again ever.
  • Dont feel bad. My starting weight at 22 was 400lbs :( ( everyone including doctors said i looked 280lbs). But being 400lbs i was so big that i was unmotivated beause i thought i couldnt do it. Ive been big all my life, all my family is big. You take it one day at a time. Its been 2 months now and ive lose 35lbs. Which is amazing, im not starving myself i eat 1,200-1,500 calories per day unless i forget to eat a meal if im busy then its a little less.i work out 7 days a week in the pool burning about 900 calories.

    I am lucky enough to have no health problems. no high blood pressure,no diabetes etc. Its a struggle but the end result is worth it! after 2 weeks i stopped wanting soda at all. Now to me it tastes gross. i drink lots of tea and ice lemon water. you can do it!! motivation for me is an outfit i got in a size 18 which is my starting point. a size 26 to a size 18. which i was a size 18 at 16. looking at that outfit everyday motivates me even more!
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Cutting out soda (And not replacing it with anything) is a great start. You will see how quickly those calories add up. They aren't worth it.

    Posts like yours always make me tear up a little bit because I remember looking at myself in the mirror and feeling my heart drop, or getting on a scale and wishing so hard it would say something different. It takes a lot of work - And patience more than anything. But if you are committed you DO NOT have to feel this way forever. There are so many people in this community who have been exactly where you are and have made amazing progress. Stick with them, the motivation from others helps immensely.

    This :flowerforyou:
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
    Hugs! :( It will get better. You need to start by setting some small goals. Like you said. Start by cutting back on your pop. You will be amazed at what a difference drinking a lot of water instead of pop will make. If you have to, just have one pop. Wean yourself off of it. Start going for walks outside. You can do this. Start by making little goals and going from there. Make another goal once you set your other goal. Good luck! You can do this. You will feel much better about yourself.
  • LovelyLifter
    LovelyLifter Posts: 560 Member
    hugs-tiem.jpg


    chin up


    youll get there

    we all feel like that at one time or another

    do what you said and set your goals small

    best of luck to you ladybug
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
    My co-worker woke up one morning about 6 months before his 40th birthday and realized he didn't want to turn 40 with 100lbs of fat hanging off of him. He ate low-carb, and he got a treadmill that he walked and eventually ran on every day. The motivation got him started on that path; the fact that he told himself "I HAVE to do this" every day kept him going. He lost most of it before he turned 40, and he looks fantastic now. If he can do it so can you!
  • ailiel
    ailiel Posts: 18 Member
    I know what you mean about denial. I am very near to my goal right now, and I recently recovered a bunch of pictures from an old laptop that corrupted. When I looked back over the pictures, I nearly had a panic attack. It was brutal looking through the images of how fat I was. I felt terrified that I still look fat even now, that I am not seeing what everyone else is seeing, etc. I felt terrified of the weight coming back on, it felt like an inevitability looking at the pictures of myself at that size, just a year ago.

    After talking it over with some people who love me I felt a lot better. They think I look great now, and healthy, and lovely-- but they also mentioned they thought I looked great before too, just bigger. Having a bigger body is not the most horrible nor the most ugly thing. We can all think of people we know who are overweight or even obese, do we think of them as disgusting, gross, ugly? NO! So why do we allow thoughts like that about ourselves?

    It's good to want to make a change, there is always room for improvement. But just know that you are okay now, just the way you are, even if you aren't where you would ideally like to be. You can get there, but in the meantime, you are okay. Wipe your tears, let your determination fuel you, but don't let these self-defeating thoughts get you down. If you constantly tell yourself that you are ugly and not okay, there is no way that will motivate you to change anything, you will only end up feeling depressed and defeated. You MUST fight these thoughts.

    Good luck!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I had 100+ to lose at first. Now I'm just focusing on losing the next 10 lbs so that I can get to an overweight BMI. You have to take small steps. This time around... just start out logging food. Don't worry about creating a calorie deficit at first. Get in the habit of logging your food intake. Once you have that part nailed down, then you can try shaving off calories over time. Work on planning your daily food intake to fit your macros. Don't pressure yourself. You don't have to lose overnight. You have to lose over a lifetime so focus on making lifestyle changes that will be permanent. And do NOT beat yourself up if you slip up... we all do.

    I understand about the soda. I love it too! I never cared much for Diet Coke, but I have learned to love Coke Zero. Try several different diet sodas until you find one that you l
  • Be brave. Making the decision for change is an ENORMOUS STEP in the right direction! Congratulations! And Congratulations on removing soda from your diet! That stuff is straight up poison for your body and will do nothing but trip you up, but it is a difficult monkey to shake so stay strong. YOU can DO this! :smile: I'm happy to have you add me if you'd like. I'll admit, I don't have as lofty a goal before me as you do, but my metabolic rate is 6 years older than yours. Here's the song I sing to myself on the treadmill.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORsz2d1H7s
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    I had 75 pounds to lose when I started. Its a long slow hard process. BUT you CAN do it! Hell if I can do it anyone can. I'm dealing with MS, Fibro, RA, herniated discs etc etc. Take it one day at a time. Thats all you can do. For today set a goal of going for a walk. TOmorrow plan for a longer walk or a bike ride. Do you have a dog? If so get that dog out for a walk. I'm sure he's put on weight as well. Lord knows my dog did. Now we're both slimming down. When the vet said my dog was a fatty I just said well guess your going to be going out for walks and slimming down with mommy. Find a work out buddy. I'm sure you know someone who wants to get into better shape as well. Set small goals and try not to think of the total amount you need to lose. Take it 5 pounds at a time. My next goal is to get into the 170's. Believe me it was easier to lose weight when I was over 200. The first 20 came off quickly. Now things are slowing down. I've been stuck in the 180's for almost 2 months now. I was losing 10 a month. Not anymore! But you keep going.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    No lie - it's going to require big changes.
    But you only have to make one at a time.
    Switching soda for water is a good place to start. You can have similar enjoyment by pouring sparkling water over slices of fruit; that's what I do when I need a change.
  • ronitabur
    ronitabur Posts: 178 Member
    You are in the right place. I am 5' 3" (almost) and I weighed 241 pounds at the start of my journey. Here are my rules - take what you like and leave the rest:

    1. To thine own self be true (Always be honest to myself - to do this, I must log every piece of food that goes into my mouth when I want to successfully lose weight.) This is the #1 rule. If you adopt anything, it should be this. You can't sit and eat a bunch of crackers out of a box in front of the TV and when you're done, tell yourself, "I think that was probably about 10 crackers", when you didn't actually count them. Trust me on this one, this makes a huge difference in long term success.

    2. Eat lots of fibrous food - I try to get 30 grams per day, as this helps fill me up and keep the pipes clean. (No, it does not give me gas.)

    3. Avoid added sugar - 20 grams or less per day. I am a food addict and sugar is a binge food.

    4. Avoid "white food" - white rice, enriched/white flour, potatoes, and any food made with these itemes as these are also binge foods. Opt for 100% whole grain, brown rice, etc...

    5. Eat exercise calories which is also known as "eating back your calories". To do this, I bought a heart rate monitor with a calorie counter. Just as important as not overeating, it is just as important to not undereat - one must feed the body. If you don't have a heart rate monitor with a calorie counter built in, then a good conservative calorie burn is about 300 calories per hour on a moderate level of exercise.

    6. Exercise a minimum of 3 days per week for an hour per day, but always shoot for 5-6 days per week. You will be glad you did. Try everything under the sun - machines like the treadmill and ellliptical can get boring after a while, in addition they do not reap the benefits of a well-rounded fitness program. Try weight training and classes that are held at your gym. When I first stared, I told my best friend, "I hate exercising. The thought of having to exercise for the rest of my life pisses me off!". But, here I am today 2.5 years later, still exercising and loving every minute of it.

    7. 1-2 pounds of weight loss per week is perfect. Any more than that and your body will rebel. Don't even try it.

    Good luck, friend me if you wish!.
    Roni
  • Pricanma13
    Pricanma13 Posts: 33 Member
    don't beat yourself up. Please add me if needed. Make small weekly goals, sometimes they are easier to complete first then being over whelmed with finished goal
  • sk2775
    sk2775 Posts: 699 Member
    Awh...don't be so hard on yourself. You are taking the right step in that you are finally ready to take control of your life and get to a place where you can eat healthy and live a more healthy lifestyle. Cutting out pop is a great start. When I started on this journey in March of 2011, I also was a huge lover of pop. I used to drink coke as it was water. The 1st step was to stop drinking it. It was really hard but day by day, it got better.....try replacing the pop with water or healthy fresh fruit juices.
    When I started, the only thing I need was to log in my food intake for the first couple of weeks. I was totally shocked to see how much calories I was taking in every day and slowly and steady, I started watching my portions. Then I started to walk. Slow and steady, I walked more each and every day.

    Just take it one day at a time and don't be so hard on yourself. Feel free to add me as a friend.
  • Shucks, I have been busting my chops trying to lose ten pounds for so long, I now need to lose 20. I am 5'1" and weight 160 lbs and the government tells me I am obese. I fixed a salad for lunch yesterday and ended up with nearly 700 calories because I had DRESSING. I do feel your pain and the frustration. I have only been doing this for a few days but the support is great. I work out with a lady I have known for 25 years. She has been on this website for a year and has lost 34 lbs. It is slow and steady. I know we want it off NOW but experience proves otherwise. Please don't give up. I lost 2 lbs Saturday and gained 1 back yesterday. But it is still one pound. If I lose one pound a week, I am ahead. Take it one pound at a time. YOU CAN DO THIS. God Bless you and keep you strong.
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
    I know how you feel! When I started on MFP in July of last year, I was right around 275/280. At my highest, I was 383, and at my lowest (now), I'm 179. You CAN do this. From someone who has been overweight/obese her whole life, I know this is possible for you and that you can do it! Hang in there - some days are easier than others, some days are a downright challenge, but when you can go in to a non plus-sized store to buy clothes, it will be SO worth it. Hugs :)