Hoarding!! And Hoarders vs Tossers in Relationships

JanieJack

Post I just did on Single Peeps, and thought people on the main forum would enjoy (ps: if you haven't checked out Single Peeps, it's a great MFP forum to discuss relationship questions):

I am having SUCH a hard time packing! My house is always crawling with guests, so it's not like I have "TOO MUCH" extra stuff... but now that I am gonna have to PAY to store all this stuff I'm having to be really hard on myself to whittle down. I'm finding it difficult to part with even DUMB stuff...yet at the same time I don't wanna pay good money to store a bunch of JUNK.


Like pens... I have 3 cups bursting full of pens... one in the kitchen, one in my bedroom, and one in my son's room (which is where I keep my computer/office stuff). I tell myself "Don't pay to store this stuff for 6 months. Instead, give it to the rescue mission." Even though a new pack of pens is only a dollar, I still had a hard time just picking out a few to take with me (in case the new job is stingy with supplies) and put the rest in the rescue mission box. And it's not just pens. I've got tons of stuff (like reams of paper) that I've been carrying around for years. Sure I haven't had to buy anything like that for awhile but what good is it really doing sitting in my closet? I could give half that away and STILL not have to buy anything for awhile.


I'm beginning to understand how those people in that Hoarding show get started down this path.


What does this have to do with MFP and Single Peeps? Well, 2 things:


1. As I look at my reluctance to get rid of about 60 pens I don't use and don't need, I draw a parallel to the reluctance to let go of old habits and get fit. There's emotional attachment to much of what we eat, and whether we work out hard enough. It's easier to just keep wallowing in self-pity or old comforting routines than to do the emotional grunt work of addressing WHY we have allowed our health to slide to this point and WHY despite our months (or years) on MFP, we've not made more progress. I know a lot of you made great progress, but I gained back over vacation everything I lost and if it doesn't come off soon I'm gonna reset my MFP counter.

2. This kind of stuff can ruin relationships. BB, my boyfriend, is more of a minimalist. He has a little clutter here and there (active projects on his desk, for example) but for the most part he's a Tosser: Everything has a place, and everything in it's place. If something is slightly ajar he gets antsy and has to fix it. I told him early (and remind him from time to time) as a highly-social single mom with a demanding job, I don't have time, energy, or desire to line up the books or the pillows or such. While I will try to accommodate his OCness, I make no guarantees. I told him if something needs fixing, it's not fair, but part of the price of being in my life is he's gonna have to fix it himself.

Thanks if you actually read this far! This is really just my vent and trying to motivate myself to keep sorting and packing. I'm curious what you think about this? Have you seen "cluttering style" impact relationships around you?

SeaRunner26

Thanks if you actually read this far! This is really just my vent and trying to motivate myself to keep sorting and packing. I'm curious what you think about this? Have you seen "cluttering style" impact relationships around you?

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A good rule of thumb for me is if you haven't used it in a year, it's okay to toss. And by toss, I don't mean necessarily in the garbage. Donate what you can so that others who don't have the same resources can take advantage of what you have to offer.

TropicalFlowerz

my Hubby has shirts from 11+ yrs ago,..w/ holes!!,...says I cant get rid of them cause they're comfy....ugh.,..me?,if i dont use it often i'll donate so someone can,..clean out my closet 1..or 2 /yr!

ladymiseryali

My fiance and I sell things that we no longer have a use for, if it's something that can be sold. If not, then we toss it or turn it into something else. We also live with his mother, who is a major slob and a slight hoarder. Her other son, a morbidly obese mentally retarded creeper, is an extreme hoarder and also lives here. His room is packed full of garbage and mummified food. He has several storage units packed with crap too. He's also been known to steal things to hoard. It's hard to live here at times and I do the best I can with cleaning and every few months we throw things out and try to fight the clutter, only to have it get terrible all over again. We painstakingly cleared a crapload of clutter out of the garage and got it to a point of being useable again. In fact, I used to work out in there. Then my fiance's brother took over the garage and now it's going back to being cluttered. Hoarding is a terrible disease.......

cally69

Sorry, you had me laughing when you said your boyfriend was for the most part 'a tosser'.
Has a slightly different meaning in the UK.
Lol