I have a problem
eternitywaitsloss
Posts: 13
Before I get started, let me give you all a bit of history...
I come from an Italian family, at least on my mother's side. I grew up with my grandmother, and all of the women in my family are, well, to put it bluntly: short and fat. There has never been a time in my life when I remember being thin. There were times when I was less fat than before, but I've never been THIN. My mother and grandmother both were the sort of women who would always make you finish your plate, even though they gave you more than you probably should eat, and they were always telling me to eat more, because I looked ill. Oddly enough, I was a rather sickly child, and that was often their excuse. In the beginning, feeding me was a necessity, I was sick all the time and never hungry.
When I got older, and I was sick less often, the weight stuck. My eating habits, unfortunately, did too. I rarely ate -- once a day, maybe twice at most. I should also point out that I've always been uncomfortable with other people, and went out of my way to expressly avoid changing during P.E. classes at school, or even participating in team sports.
As I got older, the weight didn't really go anywhere. I didn't gain very much, but I didn't lose much either.
Then, when I was 19 or 20, my boyfriend of the time, his father, and I were out celebrating my boyfriend's birthday. It was after dinner, and we were on our way to go get some coffee before we took his father back to the train station so he could head back to NYC. It was a cold and rainy December night, and a woman in a black PT Cruiser pulled out in front of our poor little white Ford Taurus. Later the woman claimed she thought we were turning. We went from the left most lane across three lanes of traffic into the right side shoulder. Our car was totaled. My boyfriend had broken his thumb when the airbag burst. I was covered in fettuccine Alfredo, but I felt fine at first. An off-duty police officer two cars back called in the emergency, and had seen the entire thing (it wasn't our fault). By the time the ambulance arrived, I realized that I was in an immense amount of pain. It was starting to become very apparent that I had busted my right leg -- I had seen the woman pulling out in front of us, and instinctively put my foot down on the floorboard as if I were hitting the brakes on the car. I was in the passenger's seat. By the time I got to the hospital, even flexing my toes became excruciatingly agonizing. I was told it was simply a contusion, and to go home. No crutches, no pain relief, no xrays or scans of any sort. Just a man moving my leg, and me screaming in a hallway after having to lay there for three hours.
It took me another two hours to manage my way up three flights up stairs because of the pain, and another six months before I could walk without my knee buckling. During that time, my weight just skyrocketed. Before I knew it, I had breached the 300lb marker.
When my boyfriend and I split up, I moved in with my mother in Florida, and there I lost a bit of weight, getting back down to something more manageable, just over 200. When I came back north to Delaware, things just got super stressful, and I think that stress helped me with gaining all the weight back. It's been an up and down ride since that point. I've found out that the cartilage in my knee is completely gone, I've undergone several visits to an orthopedic doctor, and the best they can suggest is physical therapy. It's nearly impossible for me to move comfortably on most days because my knees are completely shot and full of arthritis.
When my current boyfriend and I moved into the apartment we currently are in, we eventually bought an exercise bike - he picked it out specifically to be gentle on my knees.
I joined this site at the end of 2010, and yet I've gone up and down in how much weight I've lost. I'm STILL over 300 -- hovering around the 340 range, and I can't seem to get the motivation together to exercise. I want to be healthy and I want to lose the weight -- so I feel better, so my knees have less stress on them, so that I can wear cute clothes. Why can't I just DO it?
When it comes down to it, why do I always put it off?
My boyfriend is a healthy eater, and he exercises on a regular basis -- he goes rock climbing three times a week for HOURS and comes home happy and exhausted.
I know that if I were to exercise on a regular basis I'd start losing weight and I'd start feeling better -- I know because I was doing it when we first got together. I was doing zumba and walking and doing push-ups and crunches. My sleeping schedule was starting to resemble something normal, and I was eating three times a day -- though my boyfriend wanted it to be five -- instead of once or not at all.
I don't understand why it's so difficult for me to just knuckle down and do it. I've done it before? I only stopped because I got really sick with bronchitis for about two months and couldn't do more than complain and sleep.
I know that I can get back to that, I know that I can lose the weight, I know that I CAN DO IT. But.... getting started is the hardest part. When my boyfriend reminds me to do exercises, I feel like he's harping on me. But without that reminder, I'm afraid that I won't do it -- and setting an alarm on my phone just doesn't seem to cut it.
I have a hard enough time remembering to log in to MFP every day and log my food and exercise when I DO manage to get any done.
TL;DR end of it: Suggestions for motivational reminders to exercise and eat regularly (instead of not at all)?
I come from an Italian family, at least on my mother's side. I grew up with my grandmother, and all of the women in my family are, well, to put it bluntly: short and fat. There has never been a time in my life when I remember being thin. There were times when I was less fat than before, but I've never been THIN. My mother and grandmother both were the sort of women who would always make you finish your plate, even though they gave you more than you probably should eat, and they were always telling me to eat more, because I looked ill. Oddly enough, I was a rather sickly child, and that was often their excuse. In the beginning, feeding me was a necessity, I was sick all the time and never hungry.
When I got older, and I was sick less often, the weight stuck. My eating habits, unfortunately, did too. I rarely ate -- once a day, maybe twice at most. I should also point out that I've always been uncomfortable with other people, and went out of my way to expressly avoid changing during P.E. classes at school, or even participating in team sports.
As I got older, the weight didn't really go anywhere. I didn't gain very much, but I didn't lose much either.
Then, when I was 19 or 20, my boyfriend of the time, his father, and I were out celebrating my boyfriend's birthday. It was after dinner, and we were on our way to go get some coffee before we took his father back to the train station so he could head back to NYC. It was a cold and rainy December night, and a woman in a black PT Cruiser pulled out in front of our poor little white Ford Taurus. Later the woman claimed she thought we were turning. We went from the left most lane across three lanes of traffic into the right side shoulder. Our car was totaled. My boyfriend had broken his thumb when the airbag burst. I was covered in fettuccine Alfredo, but I felt fine at first. An off-duty police officer two cars back called in the emergency, and had seen the entire thing (it wasn't our fault). By the time the ambulance arrived, I realized that I was in an immense amount of pain. It was starting to become very apparent that I had busted my right leg -- I had seen the woman pulling out in front of us, and instinctively put my foot down on the floorboard as if I were hitting the brakes on the car. I was in the passenger's seat. By the time I got to the hospital, even flexing my toes became excruciatingly agonizing. I was told it was simply a contusion, and to go home. No crutches, no pain relief, no xrays or scans of any sort. Just a man moving my leg, and me screaming in a hallway after having to lay there for three hours.
It took me another two hours to manage my way up three flights up stairs because of the pain, and another six months before I could walk without my knee buckling. During that time, my weight just skyrocketed. Before I knew it, I had breached the 300lb marker.
When my boyfriend and I split up, I moved in with my mother in Florida, and there I lost a bit of weight, getting back down to something more manageable, just over 200. When I came back north to Delaware, things just got super stressful, and I think that stress helped me with gaining all the weight back. It's been an up and down ride since that point. I've found out that the cartilage in my knee is completely gone, I've undergone several visits to an orthopedic doctor, and the best they can suggest is physical therapy. It's nearly impossible for me to move comfortably on most days because my knees are completely shot and full of arthritis.
When my current boyfriend and I moved into the apartment we currently are in, we eventually bought an exercise bike - he picked it out specifically to be gentle on my knees.
I joined this site at the end of 2010, and yet I've gone up and down in how much weight I've lost. I'm STILL over 300 -- hovering around the 340 range, and I can't seem to get the motivation together to exercise. I want to be healthy and I want to lose the weight -- so I feel better, so my knees have less stress on them, so that I can wear cute clothes. Why can't I just DO it?
When it comes down to it, why do I always put it off?
My boyfriend is a healthy eater, and he exercises on a regular basis -- he goes rock climbing three times a week for HOURS and comes home happy and exhausted.
I know that if I were to exercise on a regular basis I'd start losing weight and I'd start feeling better -- I know because I was doing it when we first got together. I was doing zumba and walking and doing push-ups and crunches. My sleeping schedule was starting to resemble something normal, and I was eating three times a day -- though my boyfriend wanted it to be five -- instead of once or not at all.
I don't understand why it's so difficult for me to just knuckle down and do it. I've done it before? I only stopped because I got really sick with bronchitis for about two months and couldn't do more than complain and sleep.
I know that I can get back to that, I know that I can lose the weight, I know that I CAN DO IT. But.... getting started is the hardest part. When my boyfriend reminds me to do exercises, I feel like he's harping on me. But without that reminder, I'm afraid that I won't do it -- and setting an alarm on my phone just doesn't seem to cut it.
I have a hard enough time remembering to log in to MFP every day and log my food and exercise when I DO manage to get any done.
TL;DR end of it: Suggestions for motivational reminders to exercise and eat regularly (instead of not at all)?
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Replies
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You can do anything you set your mind to. You can make it happen if you truly want it. Good luck!!
I read this today from a friend, and it resonated with ,me.... it may resonate with you as well.
Everything you do is based on the decisions you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period.0 -
I find putting together my food diary so that I have Breakfast, Morning Snack, Lunch, Afternoon Snack, Dinner and Evening Snack all planned out the day, then I end up eating what I planned and not eat other crap, but also it reminds me to eat, although, not eating is generally not my reason for being overweight.
Exercise, well, I think I'm still working on it, but one thing that helps me is that I set to do exercise when a good TV show is on, so that I have a "date" to work out. And I also remind myself that 20 minutes is still an awesome workout compared to sitting on the couch and doing nothing.0 -
Set small goals. You want to have goals that are realistic and doable. Maybe at first your goal is to eat three times a day and exercise 5 min. Maybe then you go up to eat three times a day and stay in your calorie count. Then up the exercise. Build on your successes by raising the bar. Don't set the bar too high at first or you may just get too discouraged.0
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Have you ever heard of demand resistance? When something is demanded of you, your reaction is to resist doing it. I don't know if that is your issue, but it was my first thought after reading your story. Plan to lose weight without feeling pressured even if it's you doing the pressuring. If your boyfriend is working out 3 times a week and you don't want to exercise, plan an activity and invite him to go with you for support. Set a daily routine that you create, like log your food at a certain time every day, or after every meal. Even with your physical problems you know you can do something for exercise, but making it fun or relaxing should be your goal too. Even a 10 min. walk in a lovely park. Think of it as self nurturing to feel better.0
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you should read the book "the ultimate weight loss solution" by Dr. Phil. I have the book and everytime i feel like not excercising or giving in to my temptations, i reread it,.the book gives me the jumpstart to get going again. I highly recommend it.
I think you have to make time for excercise each and everyday, it doesnt have to be much, a simple 30min ride on an excercise or a 10 minute walk around the block, just something to get you up and moving and then every week expand on how much time you are spending on it. Faithfully log your food/snacks and drinks to see what you are eating and drink lots of water and you will be well on your way to changing your lifestyle.
Add me if you`d like 0 -
maybe try to set some small weight loss goals, and when you reach each one, reward yourself with something.... example...lose 20lbs and go get ur hair done? maybe print some pictures of cute close you would like to get into and put them on the mirror as a reminder?
you can do it....just set your mind to it!! good luck!!! 0 -
“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost." - Hellen Keller0
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I'd like to thank all of you who replied with words of encouragement and suggestions to help me out. I felt like I was whining, but I think I really did just want some sort of words of encouragement. I do think that I have a problem -- the more that I know I need to do something, or the more important something becomes, the less I want to have anything to do with it.
Today was a good day. I got in a 20 minute bike ride - it was really vigorous, and I watched Big Bang Theory while I was doing it. It was exhausting, but I remember that I could do a 20 minute ride with no problems not that long ago, and I want to be able to get back to that. I want to be able to get back being able to move around better.
I'm going to try to set up a google calendar reminder -- I had one before, and then I ended up turning all my reminders off because I'd gotten sick, and I just never turned them all back on.
I think that I'll reserve the bike rides for the nights when my boyfriend goes rock climbing. This leaves me the whole day to get work done and then I'm reminded to do my exercises when he goes off to do his. That's three days taken care of. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I'll do my old zumba set that I used to do and pair that up with my push-ups and crunches. These are all things that I used to do on a regular basis, and I should be able to get back into doing it -- hopefully quickly.
Food-wise, we always eat healthy. It's mostly veggies and chicken -- and we eat a lot of beans, too. I just have a problem remembering that I need to eat on a regular basis. It was easier before we moved to where we live now, since my boyfriend used to be able to come home for lunch and remind me that I needed to eat. He likes to do Breakfast, snack, Lunch, snack, small meal, snack, secondary small dinner meal. Generally the whole thing would add up to roughly 2,000 calories. 1,500 for meals, and about 500 for snacking in between. We have one cheat day each week, which is friday nights. Generally I just end up skimping out on snacks and sort of skipping lunch to make up for the "extra" calories I'm taking in on our weekly gathering with friends (we go every friday and play D&D with our friends). Even then, my dietary choices usually aren't too awful, and I very rarely go over my caloric limits.
I need to just remind myself to eat at least three small meals (today it was mostly yogurt and weight-watchers string cheese), and do some form of exercise.
Again, I greatly appreciate everyone's words of wisdom and inspiration. Thank you all so much. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with this -- at least more so than I have in the past. I know I can do this, it's just a matter of sticking to it when my crazy mind tells me to stop.
<3s to all of you!0 -
Just a minor suggestion, maybe you need more friends on here. Personally, I look forward to logging in every morning to see what my friends have been up to. It always gives me a boost to see their success. And, along those lines, feel free to add me if you'd like.0
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