Dear Coworker - please go away!

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Replies

  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
    That's pretty much what she said...

    Who'd thought, dolphins. Gay rapists

    They rape PEOPLE...

    This is an "Urban Legend" people. NOT True.
  • LaylaJo
    LaylaJo Posts: 44 Member
    I have a coworker that thinks hes a cowboy. wears cowboy clothes and shuffles his boots all day. if he walked any slower, he'd be dead. he never ever brushes his teeth and says that apples are natures toothbrush. ehh - never have seen him eat an apple either. he talks non-stop and if you try to walk away, he follows you. i've had to stop, turn around and say "please don't follow me into the bathroom". So, yeah - sometimes i go to the ladies room, just to get away. he was shocked that i have never seen the movie tombstone. his family dresses up like cowboys and watches it every night. and was shocked that we don't dress up and see movies. he was all giddy one day - the day true grit came out, he and his wife took off work to see the first showing - and she surprised him by going home and changing into her cowgirl dress.
    i could go on and on...

    OMG the OP was funny, but this post made laugh while I was drinking, and that's not good when you're sick. Stuff comes out of your nose.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,421 Member
    So, to further derail this thread, I was at the dolphin habitat/prison at the Mirage in Las Vegas. They have two large pools and a couple small ones. The boys were in one large pool, and the females in the other; separated by a water-filled tunnel and two fences. So they could communicate and see and presumably smell the other pool, since they were connected.

    The Alpha male hung out at the gate to the connecting tunnel all day. So protective was he, that they had to keep zinc oxide on his nose and top of his head because he stalked that tunnel.

    The other two males were very amorous with each other, penises out, lots of rubbing, attempted penetration (I know- TMI.)

    So now we've digressed to homosexual dolphin prison rape. But at the right end of the dolphin, at least. Sorry, OP.
  • iluvprettyshoes
    iluvprettyshoes Posts: 605 Member
    I have a co-worker that started calling me after 10 pm with questions about work (knowing full well my son and I go to bed at 9 pm). Ignoring the calls didn't work!

    So...I began returning her calls at 4 am when I wake up. There was a certain satisfaction in this:smile:

    She finally stopped!! Sometimes shoving it right back in their face is the only thing that will work.
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
    So, to further derail this thread, I was at the dolphin habitat/prison at the Mirage in Las Vegas. They have two large pools and a couple small ones. The boys were in one large pool, and the females in the other; separated by a water-filled tunnel and two fences. So they could communicate and see and presumably smell the other pool, since they were connected.

    The Alpha male hung out at the gate to the connecting tunnel all day. So protective was he, that they had to keep zinc oxide on his nose and top of his head because he stalked that tunnel.

    The other two males were very amorous with each other, penises out, lots of rubbing, attempted penetration (I know- TMI.)

    So now we've digressed to homosexual dolphin prison rape. But at the right end of the dolphin, at least. Sorry, OP.

    Cages birds of the same gender will "pair off" into a "dominant/submissive" pairing ie. one taking the male, one taking the female role...so will many (if not all) other animals...only Humans commit rape. Research it.
  • jessmastrilli
    jessmastrilli Posts: 203 Member
    I have a co-worker that started calling me after 10 pm with questions about work (knowing full well my son and I go to bed at 9 pm). Ignoring the calls didn't work!

    So...I began returning her calls at 4 am when I wake up. There was a certain satisfaction in this:smile:

    She finally stopped!! Sometimes shoving it right back in their face is the only thing that will work.

    LOVE the 4am calls! Maybe I should start wearing Hawaiian shirts and blasting rap music all day long and start whistling every time I walk. Sounds good to me! :)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,421 Member
    So, to further derail this thread, I was at the dolphin habitat/prison at the Mirage in Las Vegas. They have two large pools and a couple small ones. The boys were in one large pool, and the females in the other; separated by a water-filled tunnel and two fences. So they could communicate and see and presumably smell the other pool, since they were connected.

    The Alpha male hung out at the gate to the connecting tunnel all day. So protective was he, that they had to keep zinc oxide on his nose and top of his head because he stalked that tunnel.

    The other two males were very amorous with each other, penises out, lots of rubbing, attempted penetration (I know- TMI.)

    So now we've digressed to homosexual dolphin prison rape. But at the right end of the dolphin, at least. Sorry, OP.

    Cages birds of the same gender will "pair off" into a "dominant/submissive" pairing ie. one taking the male, one taking the female role...so will many (if not all) other animals...only Humans commit rape. Research it.

    Well, I was referring to the previous post. I think humans invented the term "prison rape" - it's natural for all creatures to desire sexual pleasure, and if they are among the same sex, of course they will pair up.
  • I have a coworker that's passive aggressive

    I have a co-worker that's manic depressive
  • iluvprettyshoes
    iluvprettyshoes Posts: 605 Member
    I have a co-worker that started calling me after 10 pm with questions about work (knowing full well my son and I go to bed at 9 pm). Ignoring the calls didn't work!

    So...I began returning her calls at 4 am when I wake up. There was a certain satisfaction in this:smile:

    She finally stopped!! Sometimes shoving it right back in their face is the only thing that will work.

    LOVE the 4am calls! Maybe I should start wearing Hawaiian shirts and blasting rap music all day long and start whistling every time I walk. Sounds good to me! :)

    It may not work...but you would have fun!!
  • jericamom
    jericamom Posts: 49 Member
    I have a coworker that's passive aggressive


    for the win
  • Dolphins do rape people, I learned this recently and it made me slightly be scared of them haha

    I have a VERY annoying coworker as well. She just talks non stop all day. She trys fixing things that don't need to be fixed. She's also very two faced. We all don't like her.
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
    I have a co-worker that started calling me after 10 pm with questions about work (knowing full well my son and I go to bed at 9 pm). Ignoring the calls didn't work!

    So...I began returning her calls at 4 am when I wake up. There was a certain satisfaction in this:smile:

    She finally stopped!! Sometimes shoving it right back in their face is the only thing that will work.

    brilliant
    couldnt stop laughing
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    I have a coworker that's passive aggressive


    for the win

    I'm glad someone else recognized the goodness of that post.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    So did it work? Did this post make them go away?
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Dear Coworker,

    It is your lunch break, why are you using the copier? Shouldn't you be eating lunch? Why have you been standing at the copier for 20 minutes? Why are you constantly hitting buttons the entire time? They make the most irritating beeping noise. I see you all day, and lunch is the only time to get away from you, but yet I am unable to because you are standing by me!

    Why do you constantly wear Hawaiian shirts to work? They are not "dressy." Why do you constantly blast bad 80's music all day from 8am - 4pm? Why do you have to lock my office door every end of the work shirt, when I am capable of locking it myself? Why do you always end up behind me when we are coming to work and leaving work (stalker!)? Why do you come into my office before my shift starts and start asking me questions? Why do you have to snap your fingers every time you walk?

    Honestly, this is the only reason I hate my job...
    Hey.. I wear either Hawaiian shirts or Cuban shirts to work almost every day. (unless we have visitors).
    Although I am polite enough to wear headphones.
  • hahaha I love that my post turned into dolphins and rape.

    It was already kind of about rape.

    It was lol?!?!:huh:
  • ... Why do you constantly blast bad 80's music...

    Wait, there's BAD 80s music??? :noway:

    Yeah I dont remember any bad music either... hmmm
  • OP... I think he likes you. Just a guess
  • SomeoneSomeplace
    SomeoneSomeplace Posts: 1,094 Member
    My coworker spends the entire day trying to convince me to sleep with him and making awkward come on's and propositions. He says things like "Give a black man a chance" and "I'll be real gentle" and "I just wanna get on that body"

    How does one respond to that? lol
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    This is one of my co-workers

    2010-04-06__sc02.jpg

    Haaaaaaaaah!!! Oh I'm sorry... Haaaah. :laugh: The Hyena..

    Mine is Shrek...
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
    Dolphins do rape people, I learned this recently and it made me slightly be scared of them haha

    I have a VERY annoying coworker as well. She just talks non stop all day. She trys fixing things that don't need to be fixed. She's also very two faced. We all don't like her.

    "There are a few instances of dolphins sort of sexually harassing humans (much like dogs occasionally do), but as far as a spreading scourge of murderous, raping dolphins--eh, not so much."

    From this website... http://www.beatricebiologist.com/2011/06/dolphin-sexual-harassment.html

    Again, Dolphins DO NOT RAPE HUMANS.

    sexualharassdolphin.png
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
    My coworker spends the entire day trying to convince me to sleep with him and making awkward come on's and propositions. He says things like "Give a black man a chance" and "I'll be real gentle" and "I just wanna get on that body"

    How does one respond to that? lol

    This is sexual harassment, tell him it is and he needs to stop and or go to your supervisor/HR dept and report him.
  • deineira
    deineira Posts: 75 Member
    My coworker spends the entire day trying to convince me to sleep with him and making awkward come on's and propositions. He says things like "Give a black man a chance" and "I'll be real gentle" and "I just wanna get on that body"

    How does one respond to that? lol

    By reporting this joker to your HR person. This is sexual harassment and you DON"T have to put up with this. I encourage you to report this person. I'm in HR and I assure you your HR person does *not* want this person talking to you like this.
  • checof
    checof Posts: 114
    The "I have a coworker who is passive aggressive" comment = hilarious. XD
  • dcurzon
    dcurzon Posts: 653 Member
    That's pretty much what she said...

    Who'd thought, dolphins. Gay rapists

    They rape PEOPLE...
    It was a simple dolphin/man breach brown misunderstanding, I was assured!

    I feel dirty and used