What are you SCARED of that keeps NSVs away from you?

NewLIFEstyle4ME

Ya know, seeing and reading all these NSV posts REALLY are helping me so much! Today is weigh in day and I was all confident and sassy, just knowing the scale would PLUMMET today, but I got on the scale and so far, didn't lose anything. I'll officially weigh in later on, after I do my outside walking. That made me think about something urgent (perhaps for you too). I'm thinking about what one of my new Mfp sisters/friends (who is a total SHERO in this WAR...this BATTLE of the blasted BULGE:grumble: ) wrote was one of the "keys" to her success. The one thing that she mention that struck a cord with me, and inspired this post is:

"To answer your question I stayed away from carbs and salts the first few month because I didn't know how to control my appetitie for them."

Big ole...HMMMMMMMMMMM!??! :huh:

I purposely have been eating and drinking SUPER GOOD since I re-started this journey a little over 20 days ago. BUT (and it's a big ole but, just as big as my butt is), BUT...I eat a LOT of carbs, good carbs--but tons of carbs. That gets me to the meat of my post and question for YOU:

What are YOU scared of that's keeping NSV (non-scale victories) away from you and your journey?

What are you gonna do about it, starting NOW, TODAY?

For me...I'm SCARED to do that blasted Power90 as prescribed. I LOVE the weight lifting (Power90 sculpt) dvd...but can not do (and of course there is NO SUCH THING as can't)...it's actually won't do it. I'm going to commit starting TODAY to do that Power 90 everyday for the next 90 days, even though it's hard as hades for me (the cardio part...actually the yoga part in the beginning).

I'm also going to for the next 60 days reduce my carbs too....this is SCARY as all get out to me, because I love them so!

How's bout you...whatcha scared of that's keeping success just within your grasp, but FEAR is keeping it from you?

SHARE, okay?

NewLIFEstyle4ME

Down 0.8 for the and I'm happy as all get-out BUMP

zyxst

Can't think of anything that's keeping NSV away. I have plenty of NSV without doing a lot of stuff like the TurboFire, Insanity, etc. dvds, cutting out certain food types or lowering carbs, and other things. I'd rather do stuff I enjoy than hate; it helps keep me going instead of giving up.

Sorry this isn't what you're looking to read. :ohwell:

NewLIFEstyle4ME

Can't think of anything that's keeping NSV away. I have plenty of NSV without doing a lot of stuff like the TurboFire, Insanity, etc. dvds, cutting out certain food types or lowering carbs, and other things. I'd rather do stuff I enjoy than hate; it helps keep me going instead of giving up.

Sorry this isn't what you're looking to read. :ohwell:

Oh quite contraire You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, because you answered my question EXACTLY as I wanted you to. You see, I'm looking for replies on how/what other people like yourself feel...not what "I want to hear" but rather your (and others) personal feeling/experiences--which necessarily will be different from mine or others for that matter. So your answer is perfect, because it's you and where you are and your way. I think your answer is going to be of great help to many who read this. So, thanks so much for replying because it's helpful and encouraging and inspirational to boot!

kcb1027

I'll bite! I am for the first time EVER trying to lose weight by eating more. I used the spreadsheet stickied in the nutrition section to actually calculate my BMR and TDEE and came up with a rational calorie target to lose weight safely and permanently.

I got 1750 calories as my target. 1750??!?!? I am TERRIFIED to eat that much because everything that has been conditioned into me about "dieting" involves depriving oneself. My thinking brain knows that it is the right thing to do, that I have to feed my body to get a healthy metabolism.

But my emotional brain (the one that makes me cry when I'm trying on jeans or bathing suits in the store's dressing room) is NOT taking it well. It is imagining regaining all the weight that I've already lost and how disappointing that would be.

I am only up to 1450 calories today, so I have to go make myself a protein shake as a snack to meet my macro/calorie targets, and it feels so counterintuitive!

NewLIFEstyle4ME

I'll bite! I am for the first time EVER trying to lose weight by eating more. I used the spreadsheet stickied in the nutrition section to actually calculate my BMR and TDEE and came up with a rational calorie target to lose weight safely and permanently.

I got 1750 calories as my target. 1750??!?!? I am TERRIFIED to eat that much because everything that has been conditioned into me about "dieting" involves depriving oneself. My thinking brain knows that it is the right thing to do, that I have to feed my body to get a healthy metabolism.

But my emotional brain (the one that makes me cry when I'm trying on jeans or bathing suits in the store's dressing room) is NOT taking it well. It is imagining regaining all the weight that I've already lost and how disappointing that would be.

I am only up to 1450 calories today, so I have to go make myself a protein shake as a snack to meet my macro/calorie targets, and it feels so counterintuitive!

Way to GO and congrats on meeting this FEAR face to face and slapping it down and trying something different and difficult/scary for you. I totally know EXACTLY where you are coming from. It too doesn't make sense to my "thinker" and I've stayed at 1200 or 1100 for the longest time myself. This time I'm not only eating more (1353 cals--NOT including my exercise cals--which is HUGE for me)--but I've also added something different to the mix that has been working really great for me. Instead of gobbling 700-900 cals for breakfast, lunch or dinner (eating one or two HUGE cal meals per day--three times per day) or some other large amount of cals at one time, then eating other small stuff., this time I'm eating between 150-400 calories per meal and eating 6 times per day instead of 3. Spreading my meals out in smaller cals thru-out the day is working great for me thus far.

I surely don't have all of the answers, actually hardly NONE of the answers, but I'm experimenting and salute you in your experiment too. Go girl--GO!

sarahg148

I think TRULY what is holding ME back...getting to goal weight....is that I've been doing this FOREVER it seems, and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't have this to focus on. I mean, what happens WHEN I get to goal...then what??? I know I learn to maintain...but I feel like I'll never be satisfied, so why even get there. It's so stupid really, because just like somebody else posted, when trying on jeans and such you'd do anything to just have them fit and look GOOD and not worry about big legs, butt or stomach.

nickyfm

I have lost the weight 3 times before, and gained it all back because I couldn't maintain. I am freaking terrified that all this work will go out the window again because I can't maintain!!

What I have done this time around though, is incorporated a lot more protein into my diet. I used to feel hungry all of the time when I was trying to lose weight before, now I rarely do . So hopefully when I reach my goal again, I won't feel so deprived!!

sarahg148

Nicky...what kind of protein are you getting in and how much more would you say than what you used to get in? TIA

Gallowmere1984

I fear lions, and other things above me in the natural (read unarmed) food chain. Other than that, nothing is worth fearing. If it can't eat you, it isn't worthy of such a thing. Fear does nothing but slow people down and impair judgment.

anaboneana

maintaing.. it's such a pain to work your butt off and keep control of what you're eating, just to have all the weight creep up or to keep losing when you don't want to (or, rather, shouldn't be losing)

NextChapter60

Attention from others. I've been down this path before, and as soon as someone comments on my weight loss (generally after about thirty pounds), or that I'm looking good, my motivation disappears. So maybe fear of success? Also, I hate the gym. Boring. The only classes at my gym for old, overweight beginners with bad knees and hips (the retired seniors) are between 8 am and 5 pm, and I'm a working person.

But I AM determined this time. Slow and steady will get me there.

kimberliiw

I hate when I go to weigh in and am all psyched because I just KNOW I'm going to see a big loss and then nothing. I hope you have a great one next week, that's usually how it works.

As far as being afraid of something and it affecting my weight loss, I can't think of anything. My problem right now is that I've gotten out of the habit of exercising the last two weeks. And of course I have excuses and I am really busy. But I can always make time and am going to. So there you go, your post is having a positive effect.

3foldchord

I fear spiders and mmigraines.
the fear of the later keeps me from being more active. But I have NSV- like my 16 year old wanting to do Bodyweight workouts with me and telling me about his new muscles he feels. And my clothes fitting nicer, even if they are the same size.

JoyceJoanne

In a word.... me.

I am, like others, afraid of my success. I was just a few pounds from my ultimate goal weight and my life changed... I think I started self sabotaging so that I could have some fat to "protect" me. Something to hide behind. I'm afraid that when I get back there, this stuff will happen again. It's a constant battle for me. :-/

verptwerp

Well, years ago I weighed 195# ...... lost a little by myself, then lost 40 more lbs following a mostly South Beach way of eating ....... and maintained that weight ......... now I've joined MFP to lose 10-15 lbs more ........ joined in May & started out ok ...... but realized that something's holding me back ........

I work until 7 pm, then go right to the gym, then home for dinner ...... AND I'M STARVING ..... so I end up eating too much, too late at night ....... cannot change my work & gym schedule, but I can change the meals ........ starting this week I've planned to eat a heavier breakfast & lunch ....... then have a decent snack between work and the gym ..... and then eat a MUCH lighter dinner.

This should be a no-brainer ....... so why am I scared silly :laugh:

Danam48

The NSV that keeps scaring me is the smaller clothes and wearing clothes that actually fit my body. I have spent so many years dressing to hide my body that I kind of freak out when I put on something that actually fits. I am only half way to my goal and am still plus-sized, and even though I am a lot smaller, I still want to cover up most days. I do get lots of compliments on the days I do wear something that fits, so that is encouraging. I am also afraid of what a shopaholic I am going to become when I can shop in any store instead of the plus size ones. That is going to be scary on my budget!

AngelaJordan712

Fear of self...fear of no one noticing...fear that since I have publicized my journey and that I will fail all of those rooting for me! fear that I cant say thank you because I still dont like the way I look!

harpercutie

i fear that if i keep going to the gym instead of studying that my grades will plummet. i talso fear maintenance. i have lost the weight before but have gained it back twice already. i also fear making the wrong friends. when i did lose all the weight, people would flock me-girls and boys. everyone was so friendly but those people were rude when i was heavier. so its hard to ween out the good friends from the bad yeah know? same goes for guys. if i end up being pretty on the outside will people still look on my beauty on the inside?

but overall the benefits of being healthy and fit and confident over rule these silly little fears mentioned above..its just something to think about.

harpercutie

Fear of self...fear of no one noticing...fear that since I have publicized my journey and that I will fail all of those rooting for me! fear that I cant say thank you because I still dont like the way I look!

we root for you because we know you can do it. yes, you may fail once or twice or a million times, but as long as you dont give up you will make it to your finish line.

thomas eddison tried over 12,000 things before he realized that putting tungsten in a vacuum created light, thus creating the light bulb...but he failed 12,00 and that didnt stop him. he said " im not discouraged because i successfully ruled out 12,000 things that CANT create light."

add me

SheilaG1963

I'm scared of actually succeeding!

Jongfaith

Related Rant:

Yeah I am within 5 pounds of my all tiime adult lowest weight. This scares me because every time (3 times to be exact) I have gotten "here" I freak out! I feel like I'm no longer myself and sabatoge myself. Just because I have always been heavy doesn't mean I should define myself that way. Right? I am in a size smaller than I have ever been before and feel great. The gym has really shrunk and firmed my body to a place I never remember being before. I was a size 16 in middle school. I am wearing a 14 now! Am I staying the same the last two weeks because I'm already wrecking my hard work or have I just hit a small platau?

These things run though my mind alot. I have 50 more pounds to hit my healthy weight goal then possiblly will evaluate how I feel.

I hope I get there. * fingers crossed*

NewLIFEstyle4ME

Wow...just WOW! I want to thank each and EVERY ONE of you ALL for posting. What courage and kindness you ALL have to post, not merely to read your own words and stare the REAL and SCARY feeling in the face and quite frankly, jack them up...but your thoughts and words have inspired me to examine my own heart and spirit and I see from your words that I too "SUFFER" from many of these "woes" and baby, FEAR brings woes, serious woes to us and {{{{ Hugs & High Fives }}}} to you ALL again. This is for those of us with fears, doubts and UGHs and those who have and are successful overcoming FEAR in regard to these most grevious (no matter how well hidden some of them may be).

Here's an excellent link to help with y/our fear of success:

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14659-handling-fear-of-success/


Fear of SUCCESS????? Wow...it's REAL and reading your words are making me HATE fear more and more....Thanks again for the THIRD time for post.


Here's some things for those of us struggling to meditate on. Some Healthy VERBAL snack(s) for us to chew on:

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
William Shakespeare

I failed my way to success.
Thomas Edison

He that is down needs fear no fall.
John Bunyan

Failure is a trickster with a keen sense of irony and cunning. It takes great delight in tripping one when success is almost within reach.
Napoleon Hill

Experience teaches slowly, and at the cost of mistakes.
James A. Froude

Failure teaches success.
Japanese Saying

******************************************************

“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I'll...' philosophy.”

— Dennis Waitley


Fear of success can also be tied into the idea that success means someone else's loss. Some people are unconsciously guilty because they believe their victories are coming at the expense of another.”

— Joan C. Harvey


“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.”

— George Sheehan

---

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Maya Angelou

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr

All great change in America begins at the dinner table.
Ronald Reagan

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
Barack Obama
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Steve Jobs

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.
Arnold Bennett

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Wayne Dyer

NewLIFEstyle4ME

MORE on fear of success...cause it's real and maybe PLAGUING more of us than we realize.



How to Master Fear of Success and Achieve Your Goals and Dreams in Five Steps
If you aren't reaching your goals and it feels like when you get close, you back from your dreams, fear of success may be getting in your way. Fear of success tempts us to procrastinate, fall behind and make excuses. If so, or if you've ever felt that success is scary, you need to understand what else is going on below the surface. Once you do, you can master fear of success and achieve your goals and dreams bt following five steps.

Fear of demands
First of all, if you fear success, it's highly likely that what you fear about success is not actually success itself. It's more likely that below the surface you fear that if you reach a goal or dream you might not live up to what people will expect of you.

What you think might expect of you if you become successful can stop you dead in your tracks, at least for a while. This is especially true if you've coasted or only recently stepped out to make a move to fulfill a goal or dream.

The other thing that's probably true if you fear success is that you've probably been hanging back and coasting. If you've been coasting it's likely that you have a hard time of conceiving of yourself as suddenly successful. In some way the concept you have of yourself doesn't quite fit how you imagine a successful person to be.

That's partly reasonable. If you haven't fulfilled your vision of what it means to be successful, it makes sense that your self-image doesn't fit your picture of what being a success is. And if you don't fit the picture you won't let the picture happen.

As a consequence you may sabotage success by procrastinating, falling behind, making excuses or otherwise appearing flaky or unreliable. Or you might come to the brink of success and simply stop there, vacillating—like someone who completes law school but doesn't take the bar exam; or like someone who finishes requirements but doesn't file the paperwork for a teaching credential.
Reasons you fear success: common beliefs

The reason for all this is not necessarily that you think you’re undeserving of success. More likely it is that you think you will not be able to handle demands that you believe success might bring. One presumed demand is that people will raise their expectations of you and you will be under pressure to perform at a high level all the time. Another is that you will lose control of your life and the ability to set your own pace and make your own choices. And finally you fear that you will be exhausted, worn down or have arrived at a life you don’t value and never wanted.

These fears are both distortions and exaggerations of what is real. If people see you as competent, it is true that they may turn to you as a go-to person for getting things accomplished. But who says that that means you have to lose control and meet everyone's demands or expectations? Besides,if you look closely, you are exhausted and worn down now. In response don't tell yourself you don't really want success anyway.


People who have this particular fear have often seen effectiveness modeled as taking on the demands of others, being unable to say no, becoming burdened and losing autonomy. Or what they have seen touted as success is something that they have no appetite for. These are not inevitable consequences of competence and success. And they are no reason to choose for yourself a marginal existence of minimal opportunities, personal expression and personal achievement.


Here is the way to master fear of success in five steps:

Don't hang back but instead move forward.
As you move forward, consciously, deliberately stay in charge of your choices.
For help, watch the actions of people who succeed but retain control. They are out there. Look for them.
Notice how it is that they define success according to their values.
Study what they do and adapt it to who you are and what you want. In other words, define and live your success according to your values.

http://www.maxpotential.com/articles/personal-development/615-how-to-master-fear-of-success-and-achieve-your-goals-and-dreams-in-five-steps
© Copyright 2010, All Rights Reserved Kenneth W. Christian, Ph. D.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

In a word.... me.

I am, like others, afraid of my success. I was just a few pounds from my ultimate goal weight and my life changed... I think I started self sabotaging so that I could have some fat to "protect" me. Something to hide behind. I'm afraid that when I get back there, this stuff will happen again. It's a constant battle for me. :-/

JOYCE

I can not thank you enough for your bravery and care for others in posting this...You ROCK and I'm proud of you. If we walk around with "blinders" on...how can we ever see our way out of a dark issue? Your post is helping me and others so much.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
― Albert Einstein

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.”
― Mark Twain

“A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement”
― Jess C. Scott

“The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.”
― L.P. Hartley, The Go-Between

“Life keeps throwing me lemons because I make the best lemonade...”
― King James Gadsden

“Reality is like a fruitcake; pretty enough to look at but with all sorts of nasty things lurking just beneath the surface.”
― A. Lee Martinez, Gil's All Fright Diner

“There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations”
― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes

JoyceJoanne

Thanks for the support.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

My latest "stupid" fear....??????

I got a super cold home gym a few weeks ago FOR FREE, I love it--and found a youtube personal trainer to guide me thru a
a week worth of weight lifting/strength training that's awesome...again FOR FREE.

I haven't started it yet :sick: because for some idiotic and dumb (maybe even lazy fear of success), I havent done it yet.

I'm going to do it today...I think:

Here's the link for the FREE personal trainer for Fridays. He has one for every day of the week too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjIxhdX7xjw&feature=channel&list=UL

Wish me well and for those of you who pray, I covet your prayers!!!!!

JoyceJoanne

Right there with ya. I do well for a few weeks, then fall back again... wish I could snap out of this and just do what I need to do. I wishI could learn to enjoy it all. I haven't yet.

Oh and good luck with the new gym. Thanks for the link.

Kyfrog

bump

longingforcontrol

I fear that it´s not worth it, that the challenges will only get harder and I no longer will be able to handle them. I am afraid that its already way too late for me, that even if I reach my goal, I am too old to do the things that I really wanted to do but missed out on because I was to scared to do them.

What if I become successful and I will still be this unstable and not-living nothing? What if physical healthy does not mean mental healthy? What if I was way too long the doormat to be anything else now?
What if I finally really give my best and I still don´t succeed?

the fear of having lose skin and saggy boobs. -_-

I guess what is really holding me back is the believe that I am not meant to be successful.
But I am working on this because just like everyone else am I deserving of a healthy, beautiful and successful life.