Casting troubles upon the water.

bathsheba_c

That sucks. Everyone wishes sometimes that they could force people to do what they need to do.

Oh, and a belated shana tova.

T1mH

My advice, don't pressure her. You can remind her that you offered. You can offer again. You can encourage her but you can't do it for her or force her to do it. Just keep being there for her if you can. Maybe call her more often just to talk to her. Let her talk, don't push her on the things that she doesn't want to do. Listen to her. She is lonely and hurting, I bet if you call her and just listen you'll get farther with her than being the pushy younger brother.

I used to volunteer with a church high school youth group. I saw these kids as a bank. I was always investing in them. Once in a while it would require a withdrawal, they would need a correction or a push in the right direction. Because I had invested positively in them I had enough credit with them to make that correction and they would at least listen to what I had to say. They didn't always make the changes but even if they didn't I kept making the deposits.

kit_katty

When someone is going though something that serious, lashing out happens. I don't agree with it but I understand it. They also can get into an ostrich situation where if they don't think about it, then it's not as bad. Again, the wrong way to deal with it. But understandable. I've seen this happen with a close relative who had cancer. Even now, in remission, this person doesn't want or feel read to take charge and live a healthy life. I'm sorry you have to deal with it. The only thing I can suggest is to let her know you are there for her but not push, that will just get the two of your frustrated. It sounds like she has all the information and isn't stupid, she's just not ready to deal with it. She may never be. I wish you both well.

littleandysmom

I lost my oldest son in 2010 and have an understanding of the grieving process. There are times when anger is so much easier to deal with than sadness.

I do believe that it is in a man's nature to fix things. When women talk, it's usually not to have someone else give us answers, but just to unload, vent.....or just talk. What are some topics that the two of you talk about that are safe? Maybe you can just listen to her without giving her advice.

After losing my son, there were many times that I felt very weak. Which puts a person in a vulnerable state. I can understand why she would be angry. It sounds like she is just trying to keep her dignity.

Don't mean to be harsh....I'm sure you love your sister very much and just want what's best for her.

TheFinalThird

I would like to thank all of you for your thoughtful ideas and input. I expected to feel a bit better by simply unloading what had been troubling me. I did not expect the outpouring of caring and positive, constructive suggestions and advice that I received on here. Y'all are a huge blessing in my life.

Scott R. in Houston, Tx.

chubbygirl253

you sound like a great brother. hang in there because you are doing all the right things.

Faericn_Rising