Are some people ( like myself) perhaps beyond help ?
Dealsdreamy
Posts: 26
I have been on and off diets for over 15 years and hated my body , binged etc etc .. Exercised sporadically never consistently!!I just wondered if perhaps some people ( like myself! ) can't be helped ? Or if some people don't want what rules their life badly enough ? If you have tried everything and are still in the same position should you just give up ? I am great at excuses and being good to others , just not myself . I do feel I am a broken record going on and on , but I know I am the only person who can do anything about it !
Really interested in peoples thoughts, if I have not bored you silly : )
Really interested in peoples thoughts, if I have not bored you silly : )
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Replies
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Your diet, exercise and results have all been sporadic.
So what lesson did we learn here?0 -
Your diet, exercise and results have all been sporadic.
So what lesson did we learn here?
This.
It's amazing what consistency and patience will do.0 -
I don't believe that anyone is beyond help. For me, I have to get myself in the right frame of mind and determine that I'm going to do it. That is the hardest part, at least for me. You can do it!0
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Your diet, exercise and results have all been sporadic.
So what lesson did we learn here?
That consistency works ?0 -
&it's not a diet...it's a lifestyle that you have to want bad enough.0
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No, I don't believe if someone is alive they are beyond help. This site has plenty of good examples of that. People who were hundreds of pounds overweight that have lost weight and gotten healthy, people with severe disabilities that have done the same. It is about how badly you want it and how ready you are to change.0
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YOU are NOT beyond help. Don't make me kick ur *kitten*0
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No one is beyond help.
1) Establish your goals
2) Set up a well researched and realistic plan (some people on here are great resources)
3) Stick with it, give your plan AT LEAST 6 weeks, if it was realistic you should see changes
4) Reassess your goals and plan periodically based on progress or challenges
5) You deserve what you settle for. Settle for greatness.
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I've been overweight my whole adult life (ranging from ten pounds overweight to morbidly obese). I thought for years that I would always be fat, and that might end up being true. I am still fat now and who knows if I'll get to my goal weight. I do know that this time feels different. For one thing, I have MFP. Being able to log everything I eat has helped me so much and reading other people's stories on the forums has made me realize that it is possible to do this. Even now.
I don't know your background so I can't give specific advice (i.e. Are you a fairly thin person who has dieted to be even thinner? Or a morbidly obese person who has lost and gained the same 50 pounds over and over again? Or somewhere in between?). I will say that the keys for me have been patience, quantification, and not dieting. That is, recording everything, tracking my weight every day, not getting discouraged when things don't happen as quickly as I want, and not going in for any fad diets or quick fixes.
I hope this helps. Good luck to you.0 -
Thank you for the replies .... I suppose I can't want it badly enough although it is all I think about. Not sure that makes sense it doesn't really does it ? You would think if something bothers you that much you would make a change ......0
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YOU are NOT beyond help. Don't make me kick ur *kitten*
Ouch !!0 -
Thank you for the replies .... I suppose I can't want it badly enough although it is all I think about. Not sure that makes sense it doesn't really does it ? You would think if something bothers you that much you would make a change ......
It might be a good task to try to figure out why. Sometimes people don't act because they're not educated about how to go about things, don't know exactly WHAT goal they want, lack confidence, don't believe they CAN do better, have some kind of fixation on being miserable, etc.
Don't believe that you CAN'T do better, though. You can. It's just a matter of finding what's going to get you there and working towards it.0 -
I couldn't agree with Deb more! You have to want it, picture it, do it! Don't make drastic changes. Make small changes you know you can realistically stick with & when you have those down, add more. This is a lifestyle change. It's something you'll have to do the rest of your life. Start with cutting out or making some substitutes in your diet, make workout 3 days a week, then build on it. Once you see your body changing that will motivate you to make other bigger changes. When I started I was 5'2 & 314 lbs. That was last November & I really didn't get serious until February. I lost my first 60 lbs before I ever started exercising. When I started I could barely walk a mile & could only do 12 mins on the elliptical & felt like I was going to die. Currently I'm finishing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred & I do 30 min/day on level 2, 3, & 4 on the elliptical. I can do a pushup & that's something I never would've dreamed I'd be able to do. I'm at 218 now with a long way to go, but I take it day by day. NO ONE IS BEYOND HELP!!! FIND YOUR MOTIVATION!!!0
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I've been overweight my whole adult life (ranging from ten pounds overweight to morbidly obese). I thought for years that I would always be fat, and that might end up being true. I am still fat now and who knows if I'll get to my goal weight. I do know that this time feels different. For one thing, I have MFP. Being able to log everything I eat has helped me so much and reading other people's stories on the forums has made me realize that it is possible to do this. Even now.
I don't know your background so I can't give specific advice (i.e. Are you a fairly thin person who has dieted to be even thinner? Or a morbidly obese person who has lost and gained the same 50 pounds over and over again? Or somewhere in between?). I will say that the keys for me have been patience, quantification, and not dieting. That is, recording everything, tracking my weight every day, not getting discouraged when things don't happen as quickly as I want, and not going in for any fad diets or quick fixes.
I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
Thank you for your reply . I am somewhere in the middle I suppose . Always on a diet and fail by lunchtime ... I think joining this site will help . So much interesting reading . Just unsure of where to start ?! Good luck on your journey too .0 -
It's not a diet. It's a lifestyle change. A healthy change. You have to WANT to change. YOU have to BE the change. You have to choose the healthy foods for the right reason. Read up on the health benefits of clean, healthy foods. Read up on the benefits of regular exercise. Make a meal plan. Stick to it. Each and every week. Make an exercise schedule. Set rewards for your goals and stick to it.
You're not beyond help....you just have to want it bad enough.0 -
My diets and exercise were sporadic until I started logging on MFP. And even then, I fell of the wagon for a couple months. But I'm still sitting here at my lowest weight in 10 years.0
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If you have a smartphone make sure you download the app, it is very helpful to have with you, since you can input the food as you eat it.0
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You're only beyond help when you've given up on yourself.0
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It all comes down to how bad you want it...and you will fail..and you will hit obstacles daily...but if you want something bad enough.. nothing will keep you from it.
And a good *kitten* kicking always helps
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You are totally describing the OLD me. I always yo-yo dieted, and after about a month of exercising and dieting, I would totally fall off the wagon and binge. I did this for years!
I decided to not "diet" anymore. I would just get healthier; baby steps. Portion control, moderation and substitution. I started walking, then after about a month, joined the gym. Instead of saying to myself "I am on a diet and will exercise" I just said to myself "I want to get healthier". It was literally taking the word diet out of my vocabulary that changed my life. Diet is short term. Getting healthier is a lifestyle.
I was 252 pounds. I was lazy and would look for any excuse not to work out. I am now 128 pounds and enjoy working out everyday! You just have to adjust to the baby steps. Make mini goals instead of large ones, because your are more likely to go back to old habits if you don't succeed at your large goal in a specific time.
You can do it! Don't talk yourself down! Encourage and motivate yourself. You are worth it to be the best version of yourself that you can be!
You got this!0 -
You are not beyond help, you can do this but you need to believe in yourself. Start with a few small things and that way it might not seems like such a huge step for you. Loads of little changes will end up being one big change and will give you the confidence to make any big changes you need. If you want this enough you can do it 0
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Completely get some people won't agree with me here, but this is my opinion, I believe binge eating disorder, etc is exactly the same as anorexia because it will end in the same result, death. I am in recovery from purging type anorexia, no one has ever told me not to recover, all my family/friends/doctors have always done their best to persuade me to continue in recovery because well if I didn't, I would end up killing myself, slowly. Would you tell me to give up in recovery because it's really hard and I slip up alot? No, I doubt you would. Don't diet, change your lifestyle, do this for you and your health, only you can save yourself xxxI have been on and off diets for over 15 years and hated my body , binged etc etc .. Exercised sporadically never consistently!!I just wondered if perhaps some people ( like myself! ) can't be helped ? Or if some people don't want what rules their life badly enough ? If you have tried everything and are still in the same position should you just give up ? I am great at excuses and being good to others , just not myself . I do feel I am a broken record going on and on , but I know I am the only person who can do anything about it !
Really interested in peoples thoughts, if I have not bored you silly : )0 -
no one is beyond help.....the difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do. You can have results or excuses, but not both......is my credo. I've lost and gained the same #50 over the last year; i know it's bad for my health. We all have our hang-ups but never give up. Friend me if you want.....:drinker:0
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No one is beyond help. Just some people work through the pain and others don't want to. It's a choice. if you apply yourself, eat right and exercise, you simply can't fail.
It's just not easy. It's incredibly difficult.
And, I'm going to sound like a total uncaring *kitten* for saying this, but either you suck it up and be strong, or you will never achieve your goals. No one is going to hold your hand while doing this, the strongest person in your life has to be you.0 -
I don't think anyone is beyond help, but you have to want to do it first, which you clearly do, or you wouldn't be on here.
I have always battled with my weight, from being an overweight teenager, to then losing loads when I went to uni, getting to a size 10/12 (UK) in my early 20s, then putting weight on again when I did my teacher training, losing it for my wedding, putting it on in both my pregnancies. I think my body definitely wants to be fat and jumps at every chance it gets!
I want it badly enough though, and being thin in my 20s has shown me that it's possible, so that it was I am aiming for. I am now 2 inches off fitting into my size 12 (US size 8) jeans properly after 15 months of a healthy lifestyle.
As others have said, it's all about a healthy lifestyle rather than a fad, so there will be days when your diet isn't perfect, or you don't exercise, but you have to make it long term.
I find that focusing on little, manageable goals helps, as does taking measurements as well as looking at the scale.
Good luck!0 -
I don't think anyone is beyond help, but you have to want to do it first, which you clearly do, or you wouldn't be on here.
I have always battled with my weight, from being an overweight teenager, to then losing loads when I went to uni, getting to a size 10/12 (UK) in my early 20s, then putting weight on again when I did my teacher training, losing it for my wedding, putting it on in both my pregnancies. I think my body definitely wants to be fat and jumps at every chance it gets!
I want it badly enough though, and being thin in my 20s has shown me that it's possible, so that it was I am aiming for. I am now 2 inches off fitting into my size 12 (US size 8) jeans properly after 15 months of a healthy lifestyle.
As others have said, it's all about a healthy lifestyle rather than a fad, so there will be days when your diet isn't perfect, or you don't exercise, but you have to make it long term.
I find that focusing on little, manageable goals helps, as does taking measurements as well as looking at the scale.
Um, sorry for posting this twice!
Good luck!0 -
I just want to say it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. Others have said this, but for me that's the only way I can make this work. If I thought that I had to cut something out of my diet, or couldn't ever have something that I love, I'd fail in a minute. But knowing that I can have anything I want, just in moderation, makes this whole thing doable. Also, and I know this isn't the best way to go about this, I don't exercise. I work full-time, go to school full-time, and single parent two girls. Exercise will fit in my schedule when it fits, but for now I'm just starting somewhere and doing what works.
So my advice is to just start. Don't make plans or goals if that doesn't work for you, or go ahead and make plans/goals if that works. Take it one day at a time. If you "binge" one day, don't make it two days. If you binge two days, don't make it three days. The bottom line is, just start somewhere.
I've managed to lose over 40 pounds in 11 months this way - not nearly as fast as some on this site have lost, but a good steady pace nonetheless. And I rarely felt deprived. I found meals that fit within my calories for the day (about 1400 daily), and made it through the week at that pace, then loosened up on the weekend and ate at a higher calorie level. Not feeling deprived really helps me keep going - again, if I thought I had to restrict myself, mentally I'd have a breakdown and go right back to my old ways.
I hope this helps. Just know that you don't have to make any drastic changes right away (or ever if you don't want to), but even by tracking your calories and reducing your average daily consumption by 200-300 per day adds up over time and can make a difference in how you look and how you feel. Good luck!0 -
They say drug addicts usually relapse seven times before becoming sober for the long term.0
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Nope, you aren't beyond help. I fiddle-farted around with half-baked "diet" dreams that went nowhere fast until I found myself in a life-threatening health crisis. Then I changed my ways very quickly indeed. Learn from my mistake, please. Start taking care of yourself NOW - don't wait until you're getting blood clots in your legs like I did or have a heart attack or a stroke like some of my friends. Your weight isn't just about how you look. It's about your health.0
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It doesn't sound like you've figured out the "why" yet. You think about it, but can't get through the day before you've given up.
So...why? Why don't you do what you plan to do? Why do you make choices that you know aren't going to get you where you want to go? Why do you do things you know are unhealthy? Why do you give up?
You need to answer these questions. It's all well and good to say, "I should lose weight," except that it's not a compelling motivator. You need to know why, for you, losing weight is more desirable than staying at the weight you are (or gaining). You need to know why you make those decisions. It doesn't sound like you've come to a point where you really believe that losing weight is better than the alternatives. Don't feel bad, that's most people who are mad at themselves for being overweight. Ever hear something like, "I was doing so well and then I ate a half-dozen cupcakes! I obviously can't lose weight!" It's not that the person can't lose weight, it's that in their mind, eating the cupcake still appears the better option than forgoing it. You won't be able to do it until you understand why you want it and why it's better than what you're doing now.
And no, you're not beyond help. I spent the last eight years being suicidal and depressed. I loathed myself. I thought constantly about how to hurt myself, make my life miserable and painful, and how to end it. My diet consisted of Doritos, fast food, soda, and liquor. I gained 80 pounds, and just kept thinking that it'd eventually kill me if I did it long enough (without looking like your more traditional suicide means). I'm somewhat rare in the sense that I knew exactly what I was doing in putting on weight, but that didn't make it any easier when I finally crawled out of the depression and found myself in a body I didn't recognize. I'd forgotten what it was like to be normal, to want to help yourself, to want to feel good. It's a slow process getting back to good, but take a look at my ticker and you'll see the progress is very real. And it took me figuring out the answers to those questions I asked you. I had to finally face the fact that I didn't deserve what I was doing to myself, that I should be okay with feeling okay, and that I could find a way to get there.
I was broken, as broken as people can get. And I figured it out. You can too.0
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