Even less self-esteem after weight loss...

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Jessums88
Jessums88 Posts: 12
in Motivation and Support
I don't know if anyone else is struggling with this but I am having a hard time accepting my new body. I was 12st 4lbs (I'm 5 foot 3), and I've lost 3 stone so far...... but I feel worse about my body than I did before. I guess that before, I liked my breasts and my bum and I felt curvy. Now those things are gone, my bum is flat and I have lost 2 cup sizes and I don't feel curvy anymore. I am still carrying a lot of fat on my stomach and it makes my chest look even smaller. I really can't shift this belly fat.

I just don't feel attractive at all and I'm having a really hard time accepting my body. Clothes look so different on me now, all the old styles I use to wear look terrible. I have no money and can't afford to buy new clothes, I just have to stick with the old ones from when I was a teenager and old second hand clothes people have given me.

Part of me massively regrets losing weight but then I know I am so much healthier and stronger now.

Is anyone else feeling this way too?
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Replies

  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
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    Sounds like you are at an awkward phase of your weight loss. If you keep at it your belly will go, and things will change again.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    Feeling that way all the time.
  • premiumchilenita
    premiumchilenita Posts: 600 Member
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    Don't let it get you down. My belly is the last thing that goes too. Just keep at it, it's like when you grow your hair out and it's at that bad stage where it looks bad but you let it go because you need to grow it. Well it's sort of like that but harder. I tend to change up the clothes I have and pull them in a little with a needle and thread to make it more flattering to me. Second hand stores are great too coz you can get pretty good things for nothing, or yard sales ;) Don't lose hope
  • jenniba1
    jenniba1 Posts: 5
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    Dont let it get you down, think of it as the next challenge. Work on exercises that will tone your body back into shape now that you've lost so much.
  • Jessums88
    Jessums88 Posts: 12
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    It's nice to know I am not alone in feeling this way.

    I am worried about losing more weight in case my breasts disappear completely!

    Definitely gonna have to try out my sewing skills to try and alter my clothes. I've not got a clue what I'm doing at the moment but practice makes perfect, right?

    Thanks for your replies :)
  • lose3stone
    lose3stone Posts: 76 Member
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    The tummy thing is horrible and after 4 c-sections and a natural pod I'm not sure it will ever go but I'm not giving up.... Keep going ...

    Up your core strength with the plank, full & side every day. Good luck and please add me :)
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    I sometimes feel exactly the same way. At least before, parts of my body had shape. Now areas are just flat and saggy. It makes me feel ugly.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    It's going to feel awkward because, just like when we were growing up and going through "the changes", we have to get used to a new body with new features and characteristics. That's going to require adaptation, which I would say is a bit more awkward in our situations because our bodies are changing faster as we focus on fitness whereas we were able to get used to our changing bodies over years while we were growing up as children (and everybody else was getting used to their bodies at the same time).

    Recently, I had to buy some uniform pants that were even larger than what I used to wear in my heavier days because the larger muscles in my legs don't fit within the legs of pants made for my waist size and it looked like I was wearing spandex every time I sat down. The only way to fit my "healthy" legs in my pants was to buy a bigger size and have them taken in.

    It's awkward and a little uncomfortable (I notice a new "look" to my body this morning that I'm unaccustomed to), but it's also worth it in the long run. We can adapt our fashion to fit our bodies. But it's harder, and more worthwhile, to keep those bodies running properly. A bad fashion day won't ruin things. A day when we have a heart attack will.
  • Marinayes
    Marinayes Posts: 21 Member
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    Ohhh, I feel for you. I currently have no butt to speak of but my belly still protrudes. I am happy with my weight loss overall, but I just wish some of it was coming off my belly. I kind of liked my butt with an extra 15 lbs.
  • GwennyH
    GwennyH Posts: 80 Member
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    I know what you mean!!! I thought my 19 lbs lost would look much better than it actually does. But instead of focusing on that for too long, I try to focus all my energy on how I FEEL! And I feel great! So much better... at least 4 years younger in energy... So I cross my fingers and hope that the rest works itself out! Because feeling good inside was definitely worth it, no matter what the outside reflects!
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    Some days I love it. Some days I hate it.

    Like you, I know it was for the better, but I too lost my butt and boobs (my trainer likes to keep telling me if I keep going, I'll lose even more from those areas, it's kind of upsetting...) and I still have squish in the areas I don't want it. I have to put it out of mind and keep going toward my goals and focus on the positives. Like my biceps are starting to look pretty damn sexy, if I do say so myself. Maybe try looking at all of the changes in your body you DO like and start from there?

    If you were going to try altering clothing, check out some of the boards on Pinterest; a lot of blogs give you step by step tutorials.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    One of the downfalls of my weight loss has been the demise of the "girls". I can barely fill a B cup! My 13 year old daughter is growing OUT of her 34 Bs. . .looks like I'll be getting HER hand-me-downs!! LOL

    But, it is a valid issue you point out. I liked my breasts fuller, but when they were, I couldn't run half marathons which I do now (and LOVE!!). So, there are trade offs. Hopefully, while there may be physical features that bum you out, you have something positive that you can cling to that helps balance that out!

    Stick with it. Eventually that tummy will shrink and you may find that you very much like the visuals then!!
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I was wondering the same thing about my own body for when I loose the weight. I heard the single worst thing you can do to your body to prevent beautiful aging is to gain weight. You are still young. So lose it now and maintain for the rest of your life. Thats all you can do besides good nutrition and reasonable exercise.

    I hope you perservier and see it through to lose that tummy. I think it will make a difference. In the mean time get a good bra and try to make due with the clothes you have.

    Hang in there.
  • wordena
    wordena Posts: 177 Member
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    Please don't define yourself by the shape of your butt or breasts. Something I learned from a flat chested lady once. "Think of a lack of breasts as your *kitten* weeder" In that those who only care about the superficial parts of your body aren't worth your time and will keep away the ones who aren't for you. I'd much more want to be with someone who was active, healthy, and strong, than someone one thought curves without abiltiy were positive. Keep up your good work!
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    I honestly wouldn't mind the smaller boobs, if they just did not look so flat and disgusting! I hate them now. *I* don't even want to look at them ...

    I have never been a plastic surgery person but I find myself thinking about it constantly now. I just want the shape back! Not huge pOrn star boobs.
  • gaj87
    gaj87 Posts: 53 Member
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    You are not alone. When I lost my weight (71 pounds), I asked "where is the body I thought I would have?" My stomach was not flat and I sagged in places I've never sagged before. What is up with that? I lost the weight by watching what I ate and cardio. I finally talked to a personal trainer to see if the body that I thought I would have was realistic. He said yes and started me on strength training. I've been at it about two months and am starting to notice some changes but I still see the sag but I can not let it get me down.

    You've done so well, don't let the negatives out weigh the positivies.
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
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    I'm sad to hear that, but I cannot relate.

    Then again I was almost 200 lbs overweight when I started.

    I've heard lots of people express more happiness about their body after doing a bit of strength training, so you may want to look into that. Whatever else it does, it will make things sag less. You may also get a bit of your butt back if you do some squats.
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
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    I agree that it's an awkward stage of weight loss. Those are the worst. Please do your best to never make yourself feel like making yourself healthier was the wrong choice. Your body is going to slowly reshape itself, I promise you. Your skin will tighten up, you'll get a new shape. You're not always going to feel/look like this. Your body takes more time to shape itself than it does to loose body fat. You'll get there, I promise.
  • CARLEVA
    CARLEVA Posts: 3
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    Look up some core exercises on the internet. Target your problem areas. And you might try going to like the Clothes Closets at church's. Mine has a free one & we LOVE giving clothes to people. I "shop" there all the time. Most Church's with closets are begging people to take the clothes because they have so much. There's nothing wrong with it. That's what their there for. Puts a smile on my face when someone asks to take a look. I had to because I gained weight & didn't have money to buy new clothes.
  • kbresso
    kbresso Posts: 40 Member
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    I don't know if anyone else is struggling with this but I am having a hard time accepting my new body. I was 12st 4lbs (I'm 5 foot 3), and I've lost 3 stone so far...... but I feel worse about my body than I did before. I guess that before, I liked my breasts and my bum and I felt curvy. Now those things are gone, my bum is flat and I have lost 2 cup sizes and I don't feel curvy anymore. I am still carrying a lot of fat on my stomach and it makes my chest look even smaller. I really can't shift this belly fat.

    I just don't feel attractive at all and I'm having a really hard time accepting my body. Clothes look so different on me now, all the old styles I use to wear look terrible. I have no money and can't afford to buy new clothes, I just have to stick with the old ones from when I was a teenager and old second hand clothes people have given me.

    Part of me massively regrets losing weight but then I know I am so much healthier and stronger now.

    Is anyone else feeling this way too?

    I used to feel this way a lot. I was only a B cup to begin with but I've lost a cup size and after two kids, they kind of just hang there. My tummy is flat but the loose skin on my lower tummy doesn't look so hot and I know there's not much I can do about it short of surgery.

    BUT I lift heavy and other parts of my body are coming along nicely if I do say so myself. A woman at the gym said she liked my arms and my sister told me I actually have a butt now. Not to mention how good and healthy I feel. So I try to focus on the good stuff about my weight loss, which far outweighs the lack of boobs and extra skin.

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