What do you do when you eat at a friend's house?

martintanz

OP hasn't said what, exactly, her friends are serving? Is it something that can fit in a healthy diet if the portions are small, or not? If itis the former, then go ahead and indulge a little, but log the foods on MFP. If the food is off the charts unhealthy, then proceed with extreme caution. This isn't a one shot deal, like Thanksgiving or Christmas, but rather a regular part of OP's schedule.

To those who say it is rude to refuse to eat when invited to dinner, would you say the same of a person who had strict dietary requirements because of his or her religion? What about a vegetarian? Or a person with a food allergy, like celiac disease (wheat allergy). Or a person whose doctor put them on a low salt or low fat diet? finally, would it be rude for a recovering alcholholic to refuse a an alcholholic beverage? Most would say that in each of these cases, the religious or health concerns trump social norms. I think those on a healthy diet are no different.

SparkleHorse224

I'm of several minds on this...

1. I agree that one or two dinners a month aren't bad in the overall scheme of things but if she's like..."Here, eat half this lasagna!" and you feel crummy after eating said lasagna...then that's worth noticing and maybe doing something about.

2. I'm from the south and we don't show up empty handed to anything. Bring a salad or a healthful side dish. Just say, "I'd love to contribute! Can I bring a salad or some green beans?" And it's ok to say, "I'm too full for dessert."

3. Do you have her family over to your house to cook for them? If you haven't talked to her about your new healthier ways, she might get the picture this way. But I think you maybe ought to talk with her about it.

drmerc

I bring a food scale with me everywhere just in case
I then reject the bad foods and weigh the clean foods to stay within my macro goals

Cliffslosinit

What everybody else has said.
Most important....do NOT take a crap on their toilet.
Save that for back at your house.
Now go have some fun!

martintanz

I bring a food scale with me everywhere just in case

That is a bridge too far for me.

ShreddedTweet

Put your feet up on their furniture, drink their expensive beer, belch loudly and insult his wife...

Dub_D

Eat all the food. Drink all the liquor.

_Elemenopee_

i didnt read the replies, but remember to say "please" and "thank you."

also, put your napkin in your lap, and if there are multiple forks, just start on the outside and work your way in.

other than that...have a great time!

How many times have you seen Pretty Women?

And yeah, please and thank you would be all I'm worried about too.

Laurej

I completely understand. I have a friend who when I go to their house, they'll have cookies, ribs,wings, homemade chips that literally have pools of oil in/on them. It's really a fine line between being rude and not eating and blowing all your cals. I usually prepare for this by eating before I go, and then being polite and having one small item. They go to the trouble of putting it out, so I try and be polite. also if possible, bring a salad, or something healthy to share

kenazfehu

I'd eat my salad or vegetables before going if I didn't feel comfortable offering to bring something. Some people would be insulted by that, so it would depend on the relationship.

Then I'd eat whatever they're having but in a reasonable portion. Oh, and I'd bone up on eyeballing portions before I go, too.

Lunka_Almeida

I usually eat everything that's on the table lol, but I know that is really wrong :S

stubbysticks

I eat whatever they cook because I don't want to be an ungrateful douche to someone who took time out of their life to cook something for me. I get that some people need to be hyperfocused in order to stay on track, but IMHO life is way too short to be that fussy about it all the time. Realistically, how far is eating off-plan twice a month going to set you back in the long term? A week? A month? It may not set you back at all. If it puts you into a calorie surplus, that could actually keep your metabolism from slowing.

The bigger issue is how your choices could impact your relationship with the friend. She has you & your family over twice a month because she loves you. If you come in with your food scale separating the "clean" & "dirty" foods on your plate & weighing them meticulously at the dinner table, the message you are sending is that knowing specifically what is in the food is more important than the care that went into preparing it for you. What's wrong with just enjoying it as prepared? OP, I know it wasn't you with the food scale but that is seriously way too far. I logged my food for 2 years so I am very familiar with the value of weighing portions. Even so, if I did it at a social gathering I would fully expect a punch in the face.

If you really can't let go of not having any control over what is prepared, you could call her ahead of time & ask what she has planned. I'm sure she's familiar with your efforts to manage your intake so it's not like it would be a surprise to her that you're curious. I'm also sure she attempts to make food you'll enjoy, no harm in saying, "you're such a wonderful cook, hey, do you cook salmon (or whatever)? I've got a taste for it, maybe it would be a good dish for next time we come over." Offer to bring the salmon or any other ingredients she'd need.

On a side note, I recently went to a friend's house for a birthday party & she is familiar with my weight loss efforts over the past couple of years. The entire spread was healthy except for the cake, she had grilled meats, fruit, veggies & dip, other low-fat snacks. Not sure if she did that for my benefit, but I expressed my disappointment after the fact because I go to birthday parties to eat crap.

She redeemed herself the next time with plenty of crockpot beans, chips & booze. Moral of the story: Speak up. The host doesn't know what you want unless you tell him/her. A good host wants the guests to enjoy themselves & will do what they can to accomodate dietary preferences, whether they are personal, medical, or religious.

summertime_girl

Exercise your *kitten* off beforehand!!

dare2begin

This is an interesting topic for me. My mother is a habitual dieter whom I have watched over the years go up and down in her weight. She has never made consistent, healthy changes in her life; instead jumping from one fad diet to another. I was an athlete growing up and never really had to worry much about my weight until a car accident and a health crisis changed all that. Having to diet now makes me more aware of what my mother has gone through her entire life.

One of the things that has always irritated me about my mother and her dieting was always bringing attention to her diets. When we would eat out at a restaurant or at a friends or relatives house, she always pointed out what she couldn't' have. This put a negative connotation on dieting for me. Later as an adult there was company initiative to lose weight and get healthy. Many of the women completely cut out sugar and carbs and lost a lot of weight very quickly. I was in the group who choose to make small changes in my diet and exercise routing and learning exactly what foods did to my body. Out of the two groups the ones that made the small changes kept their weight off longer than those who went cold turkey.

It is unrealistic to think that you will be able to cut a food out that you love from your life. Instead realize that if you are going to eat that "forbidden' food that you will have to make room for the calories in your day or add extra exercises to make up for it.

So, the long of this answer is... that when I am at a persons house I eat what is put before me. I acknowledge during the day that I might need to save some of my calories and add more exercise because it may not fit with my diet. I do not under any circumstances tell my hostess that they will need to cook in deference to my diet plan. If dessert is served and it is something I like, I will eat it and enjoy every bite. Again, knowing I will either need to cut my calories the next day or add more exercise. But there is also, allowing yourself a day of not worrying about your weight and just enjoying a meal with a friend.

My motto this month is = all things in balance!

Sorry for the long response, but it struck a chord...and please note this is just my humble opinion and what works for me.

skullshank

Most important....do NOT take a crap on their toilet.

hmmmm...soooo you're telling me the upper-decker i did at the dinner party on saturday was in poor form?

Cliffslosinit

Most important....do NOT take a crap on their toilet.

hmmmm...soooo you're telling me the upper-decker i did at the dinner party on saturday was in poor form?

as long as you did NOT flush you are okay.

capnrus789

Most important....do NOT take a crap on their toilet.

hmmmm...soooo you're telling me the upper-decker i did at the dinner party on saturday was in poor form?

Upper deckers are always in poor form. Funny as hell, though, but poor form.

skullshank

Most important....do NOT take a crap on their toilet.

hmmmm...soooo you're telling me the upper-decker i did at the dinner party on saturday was in poor form?

as long as you did NOT flush you are okay.

and ruin the surprise? HELL no!

bcattoes

I must say that, unless you are on a medically supervised restrictive diet that would require you to do so, bringing your own food when invited to dinner seems incredibly rude to me. Eat as little as you like, even decline dessert if you must. You are under no obligation to stuff yourself silly but there is no need to be rude just because you are on a diet.

stubbysticks

Note to self: Invite skullshank & CliffsLosinIt to next dinner party, but lock all bathrooms first.