Anyone else have trouble 'cheating'?

mgobluetx12

I only call it cheating because it's eating things I don't normally eat on a regular basis. I try to incorporate everything into my eating so I never feel the need to 'cheat.' BUT...I have been pretty far under my calories as of recent and this weekend I went out to eat and planned on ordering anything I want and making up for the deficit. I found I just couldn't let myself do it. I ended up ordering the 'under 500' entree and only ate half of it. I ordered dessert and I ate only 2 bites. I just felt too guilty to eat any more.

Does anyone else have trouble letting go and eating those types of food that got us here in the first place? I worry I might be getting too OCD about eating healthy and not sure how to overcome this.

janemem

Yep, I'm the same.

When I first started using MFP I always let myself have Sunday as a 'treat' day whereby I would eat dinner with my son, log it but not worry about calories at all.

This worked for me, I'd eat and drink whatever I wanted on that one day and still lose weight but over the months my brain just won't let me do that.

If I do have Sunday dinner I'm finding that I'll purposely make a low calorie meal for us both, I won't have desert and I'm very aware of the caloric values.

It really has taken the fun out of our one 'family' day as all I'm concerned about is trying to stick to my calorie goal instead of enjoying being close to my son.

It's stopped me socialising as well, I've given up going out when I know food/drink will be involved because I know I'd go way over.

I'm already planning as low a calorie Christmas dinner as I can get away with!

Madholm

Not me; I have no problem knocking back a few beers to celebrate my extra calories. However, I am still looking forward to getting to my goal weight so I can up my calories and maintain.

Klopford

I get bothered by this too. I'm trying to adopt an attitude of "oh well, tomorow is back to normal" but that still makes me feel bad when I go over. And I've also skipped out on social gatherings just because I knew I'd go over on calories if I went (family went out to my favorite local BBQ place with friends I haven't seen in months and I turned them down and stayed home alone because I knew there wasn't anything healthy there and hadn't planned ahead for it.)

lisavirani

Ditto to everything you said. I sometimes feel like I am too OCD about it... but then I remember my goal and how bad I want it. If I don't crave the bad food and am perfectly happy without it, then I try not to think of my "anti-cheating" as an issue. If that makes sense.

mgobluetx12

I don't really crave the bad food either, and lately have just not been hungry in general. I guess maybe I shouldn't be mad at myself for not being able to eat more, just do what feels right for my body?

jzammetti

I was afraid if I added back those foods I loved so much (the ones that made me fat to begin with) I would not be able to stop. then I discovered I developed a straight-up fear of eating them at all.

THEN, I realized the foods didn't make me fat at all - it was my overeating of those foods (and EVERY food) that made me fat. So, I have been able to eat small portions of the "bad" foods and stay within my calories and still lose weight.

I think I just needed to figure out that no food is really "bad" but too much of any of them is. I suggest you focus on your calories and your protein intake (should be 1g for every pound of lean body mass) and let the rest fall where it may.

Becoming OCD about food is not good for you - even if you are obsessing about good food - it can lead to anorexia if you do not eat enough.

awesomek001

I've had it both ways - - not being willing to allow myself to cheat because of the calories and also being to the point of bingeing and then experiencing the guilt. (today's motto is my 11th commandment - Thou shalt not judge me and my diet!)

I don't think it's an unusual thing - - it's just one of those things you need to work out in your head. There is NOTHING wrong with having a treat now and again, but because most of us have had an unhealthy relationship with food, we really have to work on finding that balance.

Keep working on the "head" part of the journey - - thinking about why you started the journey, who you are doing it for and what you want to be like when you get to your maintenance weight. It will come - not easily, but it will come.

karmaology

I don't really crave the bad food either, and lately have just not been hungry in general. I guess maybe I shouldn't be mad at myself for not being able to eat more, just do what feels right for my body?

It's like we were separated at 'new lifestyle' birth. But seriously, I feel the exact same right now!

thatjulesgirl

My first few weeks on MFP I was pretty ridiculous - I would weigh absolutely everything I ate and not eat things I couldn't accurately calorie count for... I've since read a lot, both from fitness + nutrition books and from other long-term MFP posters who've lost large amounts of weight and there seems to be a common theme. 1) you need to keep your metabolism moving, and a good way to do that is to "shake things up". I know it seems counter-intuitive, but sometimes eating over your calorie intake one day and being well under the next really jump starts things. It sort of re-sets your metabolism (I've actually seen it work this week - big blow out of deep fried fish and chips, followed by a very very lean day and a good workout and I lost 1kg in that week). 2) Long-term adherence is better than a perfect diary for 3 months, especially if you have a lot to lose. So much of weight loss is psychological - if things are 'off limits' or inherently bad and forbidden, eventually you're going to get frustrated and binge. Controlled 'treating' is far more realistic long term and if done correctly won't impeded your weight loss... and 3) like another poster said - most people on MFP have ended up here because of unhealthy relationships with food. Being neurotically strict on yourself is really no better than being pathologically UNstrict on yourself. Do away with the "good foods / bad foods" list - at the end of the day it's all just food and in *moderation* all of it is fine. Look at weekly totals, not daily, and don't let your 'diet' overtake your whole life or eventually you'll start resenting it and quit. Most of all... good luck!!

jenilla1

...I ended up ordering the 'under 500' entree and only ate half of it. I ordered dessert and I ate only 2 bites.

I never have a problem eating a little something special if it's in my calories. I'm having a big fat homemade cinnamon roll right now, in fact. What would make me feel guilty - beyond horrible - is ordering a bunch of food and then wasting most of it. I have a thing about not wasting money or resources. I'm a total cheapskate. I only order what I'm willing to eat, and if I can't finish it all, it's coming home with me for later. That's my little bit of crazy.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful to you, just ranting about my own issues and whatnot. Maybe you could just try to keep in mind that you have the calories for it and you are SUPPOSED to eat them, so ordering what you want within those calories is what you NEED to do. Don't think of it as "cheating." Cheating has bad connotations. It isn't cheating if it's in your calories. :drinker:

mrstravisjones

i do pretty well with incorporating 'regular' food into my diet. i just always plan ahead for it... doesn't mean i don't go over on calories, but i certainly try to compensate for it at least a little. i usually don't deprive myself, but i have noticed that i think twice over the options on the menu. so i guess i never splurge as much as i used to.

i just keep telling myself that this is not a diet. this is to be forever, and i can't eliminate things from my diet forever. so i think i do pretty good at eating what i want - just not as much and not all the time.

sweetpea129

Yes, everyting you said OP. I don't think I've had a true "cheat day" in many months. I just can't do it. Even a cheat meal. I'll order a higher cal chicken sandwich but just won't let myself get the fries or dessert. It makes me feel guilty & I count the cals in my head even if I don't want to.

Jester522

Two approaches here depending on your style:

First off, unless you're entering some kind of physique oriented gig there's no reason to go obsessively "clean" or extreme dieting.

Some prefer to just keep a consistent deficit daily that's not too drastic and progressively work on this. It eliminates potential for binge eating or yo-yo dieting as there's no dramatic reduction of calories that so many people do. This doesn't really advocate "cheating" but allows more liberal eating methods as long as it meets your macros for the day.

If you are so disciplined and knowledgeable about self you can do larger deficits and "cheat" to make progress. Now there's an art and science to this. I personally diet hard through the week (low cal, low carb, super clean) then refeed all weekend (pretty much all carbs and "junk" just above maintenance intake). With that being said you need to know how much you can go ad libidum which takes trial and error. The former method is a better option, honestly.

CasablancasTX

Wow, this was really eye-opening. I am glad to see I'm not alone. I am having the same problems. I am eating way too low for my size, but I am just not hungry most of the time.

Jester522

Wow, this was really eye-opening. I am glad to see I'm not alone. I am having the same problems. I am eating way too low for my size, but I am just not hungry most of the time.

Probably because you're eating too low and got used to it. No bueno.

sarah3333

I feel guilty when I choose fruit over vegetables... it's maddening!

lizblizz2012

My first few weeks on MFP I was pretty ridiculous - I would weigh absolutely everything I ate and not eat things I couldn't accurately calorie count for... I've since read a lot, both from fitness + nutrition books and from other long-term MFP posters who've lost large amounts of weight and there seems to be a common theme. 1) you need to keep your metabolism moving, and a good way to do that is to "shake things up". I know it seems counter-intuitive, but sometimes eating over your calorie intake one day and being well under the next really jump starts things. It sort of re-sets your metabolism (I've actually seen it work this week - big blow out of deep fried fish and chips, followed by a very very lean day and a good workout and I lost 1kg in that week). 2) Long-term adherence is better than a perfect diary for 3 months, especially if you have a lot to lose. So much of weight loss is psychological - if things are 'off limits' or inherently bad and forbidden, eventually you're going to get frustrated and binge. Controlled 'treating' is far more realistic long term and if done correctly won't impeded your weight loss... and 3) like another poster said - most people on MFP have ended up here because of unhealthy relationships with food. Being neurotically strict on yourself is really no better than being pathologically UNstrict on yourself. Do away with the "good foods / bad foods" list - at the end of the day it's all just food and in *moderation* all of it is fine. Look at weekly totals, not daily, and don't let your 'diet' overtake your whole life or eventually you'll start resenting it and quit. Most of all... good luck!!

This pretty much hits the nail on the head.

mgobluetx12

Thank you for all the insight and advice. I admit that I have been eating about 1200-1400 calories or less lately, which is too low since my TDEE is 3200. I just don't want to force myself to eat if I'm not hungry, but I'm also not really losing much either. Like Jester said, I think I've gotten used to eating too little and now I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to force myself to eat, but I clearly am not doing this the right way.

DaphneAtx

You are definitely not eating enough. How to eat more? I have no idea. Anyone? Jester?

thatjulesgirl

Thank you for all the insight and advice. I admit that I have been eating about 1200-1400 calories or less lately, which is too low since my TDEE is 3200. I just don't want to force myself to eat if I'm not hungry, but I'm also not really losing much either. Like Jester said, I think I've gotten used to eating too little and now I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to force myself to eat, but I clearly am not doing this the right way.

I caught myself out doing the same thing just a couple of weeks ago, and when you're not remotely hungry it's hard to force yourself to eat - the best way to do it is to not increase portion size too much, but throw away *anything* with the word diet on it (except soft drink - empty calories). You want the full fat version of everything; milk, cheese, oils, yoghurts. No diet food. Add nuts (seriously calorie dense) instead of rice crackers and choose more calorie dense proteins (red meat instead of fish or chicken). Do that for a couple of weeks until you can slowly increase your portion size until you're getting enough calories... Don't FEAR the calories, they're FUELING your weight loss!!

Nina2503

Not me; I have no problem knocking back a few beers to celebrate my extra calories.

Me too! I am not a massive exercise fan but do find it motivating to earn a few of them to have the 'so called' treats

SomeoneSomeplace

I think you need to be really careful about that kind of attitude.

I've struggled with and eating disorder for about 10 years. I've been in and out of treatment and in and out of relapses.

But that kind of low-calories, weight obsessed life style is NOT a happy and sustainable existence. The post that was quoted hit the nail on the head.

If your TDEE what that high you should be eating a lot more then 1200. In fact eating 1200 will be counter productive because it ruins your metabolism.

You can't get wrapped up in obsessing too much over calories. The people I now who've had the most success eating about 1700-2000 calories a day and just work out more often, food is fuel after all.

I know how it feels to be guilty I get it ALL the time. But I honestly tell myself every day that food doesn't rule my life and the scale does not define me.

It's great to be health conscious and to lost weight but you just can't let it overtake your life or afford to be too rigid with yourself/

CasablancasTX

Thank you for all the insight and advice. I admit that I have been eating about 1200-1400 calories or less lately, which is too low since my TDEE is 3200. I just don't want to force myself to eat if I'm not hungry, but I'm also not really losing much either. Like Jester said, I think I've gotten used to eating too little and now I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to force myself to eat, but I clearly am not doing this the right way.

I caught myself out doing the same thing just a couple of weeks ago, and when you're not remotely hungry it's hard to force yourself to eat - the best way to do it is to not increase portion size too much, but throw away *anything* with the word diet on it (except soft drink - empty calories). You want the full fat version of everything; milk, cheese, oils, yoghurts. No diet food. Add nuts (seriously calorie dense) instead of rice crackers and choose more calorie dense proteins (red meat instead of fish or chicken). Do that for a couple of weeks until you can slowly increase your portion size until you're getting enough calories... Don't FEAR the calories, they're FUELING your weight loss!!

Wonderful advice!!!

HealthFreak1967

i have trouble in the sense that any foods i eat that I don't deem to be heathy always leads to a binge because i feel like i've ruined my 'perfect' diet and my meal wasn't 'pure.' so i go all or nothing, and if i eat one 'bad' thing, i have to eat EVERY 'bad' thing in sight.

NeonGreenMachine83

Nope, I have no trouble eating candy and salty food like cheese! I do feel very guilty afterwards! Its so hard to "be good" and want to have a little junk every now and then. I agree with @HealthFreak19-if I eat one bad thing i eat every bad thing! For sure!

Natadance11

No, unfortunatley I am opposite at times. If I have the chance to eat things I normally don't, I enjoy every bite I take.

But after that, i undertand that I need to get back on track and not let myself go. Self control is key

nikilis

I find it hard to eat back my exercise calories (i dont exercise a lot tho lol) and I never go over.

I can eat things like pizza etc, but it has to be within my daily cals.

if you are constantly under EAT MORE!

nexangelus

Nope, no probs, having scheduled free meals and diet breaks helps the fat loss cycle in the long run (as well as hormones, etc)

Fozzi43

Nope.
I can honestly say that I don't have trouble coz if I want to eat something 'bad' I just don't eat loads of it.

Kaydana123

I think part of the problem is the word "cheating". It is invariably a negative word and using negative words to describe the things we enjoy is bound to induce some level of guilt, to the point that you find yourself unable to enjoy that thing any more.

Stop calling it cheating and start considering it to be a treat. If you feel like you need to earn your treat, cut down on your calorie intake on the other days of the week to allow yourself slightly more for your treat, or do an extra 10 minutes of exercise each day. The occasional calorie spike is not going to do any harm at all.