Your shorts are too short!

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derekj222
derekj222 Posts: 370 Member
in Chit-Chat
Just put this on my Facebook...

After being at the gym tonight I think some new universal rules need to put into affect immediately:
1. limited to no conversations on phones
2. guys: its 2012, not 1970, ball shorts just aren't covering enough
3. you sweat, wipe off the equipment when done
4. cliques were okay in high school, so move your group talk away from the machine that you've been all 'using' for the past 20 minutes
5. Beaters do not qualify as shirts, they simply state I live with my mom and she hasn't done my laundry this week
6. girls: If you are wearing tight pants, you will get checked out or possibly stared at, take this as a compliment
7. holding onto the treadmill handles, speed walking at 4.0, and incline set at 5.0 could be much more beneficial if you actually let go and tried to walk...
8. If you are 35+, please remember this, don't try to think your 18 and wear lacrosse jerseys from high school
9. Nearly having an orgasm over using the equipment will only make more people feel awkward around you and you will get stared at
10. Just because you have muscles and an awesome bicep tat doesn't mean you need to cut off half your shirt to show the rest of us your rocking body

Any more?

All these and many more can be found in Derek Phillips' latest book: "What You are Doing wrong with your Life: A book criticizing you and everything you do"
This book can be found on Amazon for $49 + $9.95 shipping (US Only)

Replies

  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    i pretty much just follow the rule of not letting things bother me while I'm at the gym.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    If you're unloading into the toilet in the locker room, please, please courtesy flush.
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
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    6. girls: If you are wearing tight pants, you will get checked out or possibly stared at, take this as a compliment
    I should hope so! I spent good money buying compression leggings that look great and are fab to wear.
  • emaren
    emaren Posts: 934 Member
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    If you are playing air guitar to the foo fighters while rocking out on the stationary bike, people may stare a bit....
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    i pretty much just follow the rule of not letting things bother me while I'm at the gym.

    I feel the same! The only time I acknowledge someone else's existence is when I say "excuse me" when I have to walk around them. (there are a few areas in the my gym that is a little narrow) I've only noticed one other person at a gym because he looks exactly like a friend of mine... oddly, ended up seeing him at a few parties. I'm just off in my own little Maggie zone. The only time I even go into the locker room is when it's raining outside and I have a jacket on. I would rather walk in 3 ft of snow in shorts and a shirt sleeve shirt than to go into a locker room, thougfh,

    I think more people should try it
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    7. holding onto the treadmill handles, speed walking at 4.0, and incline set at 5.0 could be much more beneficial if you actually let go and tried to walk...

    I have to hold on! It is scary not holding on.

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