How do I stop cutting myself?

BeautyFromPain

I have some mental health issues and I have been cutting myself for years now. It's the only way that helps to release the pain.
Has anyone been through this and managed to stop cutting themselves? How?



** This is not attention seeking, trying to seek help from other members which have gone through the same thing.**

UKChloeT

I'm not a cutter but if you want to stop then you need to know the reason behind why you started. What is the cause of the pain you're trying to release? You may be best speaking to a doctor, who can refer you to a councillor who can talk you through everything. Don't be put off by "officials" x

BeautyFromPain

I'm not a cutter but if you want to stop then you need to know the reason behind why you started. What is the cause of the pain you're trying to release? You may be best speaking to a doctor, who can refer you to a councillor who can talk you through everything. Don't be put off by "officials" x

I'll try counsellors have always scared me in the past

KANGOOJUMPS

yep,,, you have to get the control back in your life!, make a appt to see a doc!, be strong!,,,, you can fight this!

Graelwyn75

What stopped me was when I inadvertently caused such damage that I needed 98 stitches to sort out the wound, and almost went through the muscle. That scared me sufficiently that I did not cut again. I scratch and I claw when I am very distressed, but I have not cut since.

MissySho

I am a former cutter....I managed to stop when I found a doctor I could actually talk to, he sent me to an amazing counselor. It took me talking to both on a regular basis as well as managing my other mental health issues with medication. Don't let the counselor idea scare you. Yes it's scarey at first but you can totally do it, especially once you find the right treatment team for yourself.Feel free to message me if you would like to talk further about it. I just don't want to put too much out in message boards.

MrsGSR

Easier said than done (I know) but try to find a new outlet. For me, running helped. Instead of causing damaging pain from cutting, go to the gym and do an intensive workout, focus on the burn in your muscles. Go for a run and pound out your frustration on the pavement.

Speaking to someone will definatly help and it is something you should do but you also need to try and find a new way of dealing with whatever it is that makes you cut, stress or anger etc.

JacquiN90

I attempted to cut myself a few times, didn't even bleed, I felt like a failure already and then felt like a failure at not even being able to cut, so I understand how you feel. I had been seeing a psychiatrist for a while, and he really helped me. So I highly recommend seeing a counsellor, and getting some help working through it. Best of luck!

chamachraibi

Hello,

I'm not sure how this response is going to play out because I don't think I have a point by point guideline for you to follow, but I'll still give it a shot in the hope that something will grab your attention.
I tried once to cut myself, I was going through a dark path and thought maybe cutting would do something. It was quite comic as I failed miserably, I couldn't go through with it. I guess my threshold for pain is too low. I immediately thought, holy ****, people who do it must endure excruciating emotional pain to actually endure the searing pain of cutting. I have a theory that for every problem in this world, there is a solution. Whatever you're going through, it is imperative you trust someone has been there before, you need to believe there is a way out, there IS a solution to your problem whatever it may be. I've come to learn that self-harm is never the key to sustainable comfort and happiness. The concept of it is flawed by design.
Also, don't sell yourself short, do not underestimate your willpower, and don't be a martyr. I can see that you've admitted to a mental health problem, which is quite an extraordinary achievement on its own. You're also seeking out help, not in the right place albeit. Of course there is a 20% chance that you can overcome this on your own, but your chance will quadruple if you confide in someone who is professionally trained to help, to listen and especially to give you the attention you direly need.

Also, you've lost about 20kg let that be a testament and a path for a better life.

Have a lovely day, and start healing yourself.

bathsheba_c

You seek professional help instead of using the MFP forum as an outlet to delay getting better. Sorry to be so blunt, but I see your posts and worry about the fact that you are coming to anonymous strangers on the internet instead of seeing a counselor with professional training of some sort. Things won't get better until you get the care you need.

126siany

I'm not a cutter but if you want to stop then you need to know the reason behind why you started. What is the cause of the pain you're trying to release? You may be best speaking to a doctor, who can refer you to a councillor who can talk you through everything. Don't be put off by "officials" x

I'll try counsellors have always scared me in the past

A lot of self-harmers are afraid to speak to a therapist because they're afraid of being committed. While I can understand that fear, it's misplaced-you will not be committed. Self-harm is a much more common problem than most people realize and can be treated without hospitalization. So if that's what put you off seeing a therapist, or telling a therapist about the self-harm, please let that worry go.

BeautyFromPain

I'm sorry that I can not actually afford to go to a GP and/or counsellor right now?...

allthenamesaretaken1

I used to cut. From age 15-23.

What helped? Getting rid of ****ty people. No need to keep people in my life who dont deserve to be. I can do better on my own. Another thing I learned... I am a masochist. I believe its the reason i used to creep on EX bfs Facebook pages, the reason why I put myself in stupid situations. I like to hurt myself emotionally. I am not sure if its a cycle. I am finding my weight problems are related to the masochism. I get to a good weight, then add it back on because I like to feel like crap. Also I found I have a hormone issue that causes my suicidal thoughts which lead to a diagnosis of a thyroid disorder.

I am seeking professional help. I think you should too. A medical doctor for my hormones, and a shrink for all the emotional stuff. Talking to someone takes a lot of courage. But I feel in the end its worth it.

ShamaraRobyn

You already know cutting doesn't really help you.
The damage you are doing your future self is greater than the 'comfort' you believe it provides you.
You'll stop when you're ready, when you want to, when you realise you have control over your own actions.
It doesn't even take being in -that- much legitimate distress to become 'addicted.' I stopped years ago when I realised I was actually rather blessed and had no cause or right to do so, and I'm no longer even capable of doing so. As for the inherent attention-seeking nature of SI, that's a total misjudgement. I for one only attacked my legs, and never told anybody until long after I'd stopped. I've watched my friend, who actually has pretty darn serious problems (paranoid schizophrenia with hallucinations, total delusion of being unloved, family issues, destructive parasitic friends) , keep harming herself over four years just because she couldn't believe that she could stop, like her hand does it and not her head. With all the hours upon hours I've talked and listened with her she now still cuts intermittently- because she believes depends on it. She has been in and out of hospital, had sessions with professional therapists, knows self-harming is actually making the situation worse, but that doesn't seem to change anything. Then again, she's only 16, which doesn't help. It'll be bad news if she carries this into adult life. She needs -willpower.-

Get yourself the things that you need - help, new activities. Equip and empower yourself.
These things feel overpowering- you just have to power over them. Best of luck.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ― Henry Ford

Zomoniac

I'm sorry that I can not actually afford to go to a GP and/or counsellor right now?...

Given I can't view your profile but you measure your weight in metric I'm guessing you're not in the US, in which case surely all of that is available for free? I didn't think there was anywhere left in the developed world outside the States that didn't offer free access to GP and basic counselling services.

nikilis

I'm sorry that I can not actually afford to go to a GP and/or counsellor right now?...

well, if you cant get proper help, maybe put away all the knives, put on some oven gloves and watch your favourite tv show.

lawre028

Sometimes it is a matter of accepting one's self warts, scars and all. Whatever horrors you have locked inside your mind need to be released to someone you can trust. Hopefully a mental health professional. Whatever happened to you that caused this tremendous pain you are holding, you need to let it out. Go to your city's/ towns mental health clinic . They base your fee on your income or lack of. I was having issues years ago with suicidal thoughts and tendencies and found a wonderful counsilor who helped me help myself. I learned how to accept that bad things sometime happen to children. That ones family is not always the best source of unconditional love, or support and acceptance. I learned that I am a good and loving person worth knowing. I also learned how to control certain behaviors that brought down my self esteem. You ARE worth it. You have to love yourself in spite of the pain. You CAN do this. Please talk to someone!

BeautyFromPain

You already know cutting doesn't really help you.
The damage you are doing your future self is greater than the 'comfort' you believe it provides you.
You'll stop when you're ready, when you want to, when you realise you have control over your own actions.
It doesn't even take being in -that- much legitimate distress to become 'addicted.' I stopped years ago when I realised I was actually rather blessed and had no cause or right to do so, and I'm no longer even capable of doing so. As for the inherent attention-seeking nature of SI, that's a total misjudgement. I for one only attacked my legs, and never told anybody until long after I'd stopped. I've watched my friend, who actually has pretty darn serious problems (paranoid schizophrenia with hallucinations, total delusion of being unloved, family issues, destructive parasitic friends) , keep harming herself over four years just because she couldn't believe that she could stop, like her hand does it and not her head. With all the hours upon hours I've talked and listened with her she now still cuts intermittently- because she believes depends on it. She has been in and out of hospital, had sessions with professional therapists, knows self-harming is actually making the situation worse, but that doesn't seem to change anything. Then again, she's only 16, which doesn't help. It'll be bad news if she carries this into adult life. She needs -willpower.-

Get yourself the things that you need - help, new activities. Equip and empower yourself.
These things feel overpowering- you just have to power over them. Best of luck.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ― Henry Ford

Yep I only cut my thighs so that noone else can see/notice it..

BeautyFromPain

I'm sorry that I can not actually afford to go to a GP and/or counsellor right now?...

Given I can't view your profile but you measure your weight in metric I'm guessing you're not in the US, in which case surely all of that is available for free? I didn't think there was anywhere left in the developed world outside the States that didn't offer free access to GP and basic counselling services.

Canberra, Australia..
And yes I do have health care but it works differently where I live.
For drs you pay the full session then get half back, and with counsellors pretty sure you are entitled to 2 or 3 sessions not sure.. but only after you go to the GP.

Zomoniac

If you're still in education is there a medical staff/counsellor there you can speak to? If you're at school you would almost certainly be able to discuss a referral to counselling via them if you spoke to the right people.

graciousdove

If you can't afford a counselor, try to find one that will work with you on the financial part. Mty first suggestion is that you start with a local church. Pastor's offer counseling for free and they have been through school and are trained to offer counseling services. If the pastor feels that he cannot help you, he should be able to provide names to other people that can. I hope that you will not let finances deter you from seeking the help that you need right now. As you can see from other posts, you are not alone in this and there are resources out there if you are willing to take that first step. Good luck!

jetscreaminagain

You get professional mental health help. Specifically seek out DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

You don't seek mental health help from strangers on the Internet who can't relate.

mikeschratz

I had issues with self destruction. I would do some pretty bad things to hurt myself to make the pain go away. As I was told, I am only as sick as my secrets. I got with someone who walked me through a program to get rid of the "Wreckage of the past" and be able to use it to help others and quit hurting myself.
I lived in pain and misery and wanted everyone else to live there also. I hated my life, my wife, my job, my environment and everyone around me. The funny thing is, nothing has changed and my life is a better life than I could have imagined for myself.
IMHO, paid professionals keep you coming back, that is how they get paid. But to connect with a group of people that know how you feel and have been there is priceless. The only return they get is to see you get better, and that is what keep them sane.

I will keep you in my prayers, I know what the pain and misery feels like, but I also know what peace and serenity feels like once getting rid of the pain.

EvgeniZyntx

Australian resources:

Go see http://www.decd.sa.gov.au/speced2/files/pages/chess/hsp/Information/revised_selfharm_finalweb.pdf

There are a bunch of contact numbers in the back, talk to them.

SashaMegan

I had that kind of trouble about ten years ago. You need to speak out loud what hurts you. Rejection, stress, violence, anger... If people hurt you, you should speak your mind. Maybe you need to take a physical, geographical distance with a situation or people.
That way you won't have to replace the sentimental pain by a physical one.
Use your painful energy to turn it into will to go forward.
And of course, couseling can help!

I hope you get better soon! :flowerforyou:

Zomoniac

IMHO, paid professionals keep you coming back, that is how they get paid.

That argument only works in a private healthcare system though. In most countries (certainly here in the UK and across Europe) access to counselling is free and time is limited as it's oversubscribed, so the aim for the doctor is completely reversed (ie get them fixed properly so they don't need to come back, and get it done quickly as there's a long waiting list).

RumRum85

Why cutting yourself? Why not better kicking someone else *kitten* down? Boxing, Taekwondo, catch!!
if you like to feel pain in your legs you may go to run long distances, will be painful and you'll feel sore muscles for a couple of days and you will have a sensation of "hey I ****ing did it! I cover ... uhm... 21km!!" without marks, blood, grabbing new (and cheaper) t-shirts by signin in the races and getting (more) sexy

Of course I'm talking without knowing you, so sorry if I mentioned things you've already tried

BeautyFromPain

Why cutting yourself? Why not better kicking someone else *kitten* down? Boxing, Taekwondo, catch!!
if you like to feel pain in your legs you may go to run long distances, will be painful and you'll feel sore muscles for a couple of days and you will have a sensation of "hey I ****ing did it! I cover ... uhm... 21km!!" without marks, blood, grabbing new (and cheaper) t-shirts by signin in the races and getting (more) sexy

Of course I'm talking without knowing you, so sorry if I mentioned things you've already tried

Umm yeah.. I already work out 6 days a week.. including running 3-4 of those days..

sassylilmama

I have been there, and know what you mean by it being the only thing that stops the pain. For me what eventually made me stop was my husband putting out an ultimatum. I knew that I would lose my family if I did not stop. But even then to do that I had to find ways to replace the cutting. A good scream, punching a bed and now working out. It is not easy nor is it the same for every one. Best of luck and praying for you.

MichelleLaree13

I had a very difficult upbringing and moved out when I was 16. I got into a little trouble and someone almost took my life (I was strangled but woke from up). That was when I was 19. I thought this is not me, this is not my life, there is better and I will have it. I started making myself better in every aspect I could. I exercised, I worked, I went to school and made goals. I now do nursing, have a house, a car that is reliable, am 8 lbs heavier than I would like, have a great relationship (no yelling/physical abuse) and am happy. They say you have to hit rock bottom with a lot of behavior to really want to make a difference with your life. I did not see a counseler to change my mind and I dont think it would have helped. I changed when I wanted to. Unfortunately I almost died in the process. When you are ready to change you will.
Btw, I know someone who cut his tendons and lost function to his hand. Talk about depressed

annalobdell

Look, I know where you are coming from. For many years I cut my arms to release emotional pain. For me the physical pain was easier to deal with and went away faster than the emotional pain I was feeling. You need to find something to take your mind off of your issues. For me, my kids saved my life. Specifically my oldest son. When you have someone else depending on you, it kind of puts your problems in perspective. Also, find someone, anyone, that you can talk to. This is much more common than you believe. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to add me. I will listen.