I'm tired and I'm struggling.

mcn79

I've been on MFP for 129 days. The first 70 or so were great! However, the past 59 or so have been more of a struggle. In September I traveled, I moved, and I celebrated three family birthdays. I'm adjusting to now living with my boyfriend and I have a longer commute. I'm dealing with some issues at work, the weather is changing here in IL and I'm currently dealing with TOM. I'm tired and I feel like I'm failing... I know these are all challenges and/or excuses. I also know I need to recommit to exercise...and I guess I need to get remotivated. I'm still going through the motion but I am disappointed in myself.

Any advice? I know the *best* advice is just do it, but I'm looking for more constructive answers for now...

TheFinalThird

This is going to sound cold or uncaring, but it is not intended that way.

If you've been around here for 4+ months, you know what you need to do.

Either you are doing it.... consistently and successfully... or you are not.

If you are doing it consistently and successfully, you will experience weight loss. The simple process of cutting back calories to 10% or 20% of TDEE and increasing daily exercise GUARANTEES that over time, you will burn fat off of your body.


As Yoda says in Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back: "Do or not do. There is no try."

This is not a journey. This is not a process. It is ONLY about whether your VERY NEXT eating choice is a good one, and whether your VERY NEXT exercise opportunity is used to burn calories. Just repeat that as often and for as long as you need to lose weight, and over the long run, you will lose weight. I guarantee it.

MinnieInMaine

Go to your profile page and read through what you wrote down for why you want to get fit and what/who your inspriations are. Give them some thought and re-write if needed.

You've come this far, giving up or backtracking is a waste of the time and effort you've put in so far. Sounds like you're under a lot of stress with everything going on so I'd say at least for the next few months, try to keep it simple...but set a deadline like as of Jan 1st, you promise to get fully back into this program. I get the gung-ho attitude that some people have but IMHO, you need to make your goals realistic or they're not going to work. You're not giving up, you're still trying, you're just backing off a little and there's no harm in that.

Keep tracking your food and fit in exercise whenever you can. Even if it's just a 20 minute walk during your lunch break, walking up and down stairs in the office...or even if you're only able to exercise on the weekends...something is better than nothing. Maybe even get your boyfriend involved. You two could join a gym together or at least go for walks together after dinner. If you can keep within your calorie range, you'll still be losing weight and whatever you can get in for exercise will be a bonus.

Good luck!

iWaffle

How bad do you want it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ

CressidaJL

*hug*

As a good friend tells me when I feel like this (which is all the damn time at the moment!), "Results or Excuses; never both".

Keep at it. When you want this more than you want the easy option, you'll make it. x

gatorginger

You can still lose weight without exercise if exercise is too hard on you right now at least stay committed to your calorie intake and maybe once you drop some more pounds you will feel more energetic for exercise. It doesn't have to be hard exercise it could be a walk around the block with your boyfriend. Don't give up just keep working toward your goal and you'll get there

mcn79

I'm in tears because I don't want to fail again. I also know that I'm making the choice to fail right now. I know I have to just do it. It's hard and I'm whining. I just don't know what to do to get myself back on track to chose to succeed.

bokodasu

By my count, you've lost an average of about 1.5 lbs/week for the last 18 weeks. And you're disappointed in yourself? If a friend told you that she'd done that, would you tell her the things you're telling yourself, or would you celebrate her success?

Repeat as necessary: "It's a marathon, not a sprint," "It's a lifestyle change," "I'm learning how to punch life back when it punches me - it's going to get a lucky shot in now and then." Stuff happens, priorities get shuffled, motivations change - it's all a wheel, just 'cause you're on the bottom today doesn't mean you're always going to be stuck there.

Remotivating is hard, especially when you've been doing the same thing for a long time. Shuffle your routine as much as you can - add weights if you do mostly cardio, take a dance class, sign up for a 5k, something that will push you to learn something new and hopefully reengage your interest. And if you try something and it doesn't do it for you? Abandon it without guilt and try something else.

You can do this!

Halleeon

Sometimes, when I need to, I just take a break. I try not to go crazy...of course, but I just took 2 weeks off from logging all my foods (I still log into MFP daily and write on people's walls when I can.) I just enjoyed not stressing about it and spent time on feeling better. Now that I feel better, I'm back to doing right, the best I can and I've seen a loss already, lol.

Also, I do go back to the basics and look online for motivation. Youtube has some amazing transformation videos and people who share about their results and feelings around weight loss.

Otherwise, TOM sucks, it will blow over and eventually you will feel better. Just don't give up completely.

JuliesZenpuppy7400

I have found that weight loss and sticking with it is about 90% mental. You need to take some time and and really look within you and think about what is most important to you.

I have been at this battle for 4+ years now. I struggle with depression but I'm tired of being described as the "heavy set woman". So, I may fall off the wagon but I NEVER totally give up. I'm down 148 pounds and have 80+ to go.

NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!!! You are worth it!!!!!

Hang in there girl!!!!

mcn79

Halleeon & Bokodasu: Thank you. I struggle being compassionate with myself. I also started this journey saying that I'd be more than fine with baby steps. But then I had great success and then baby steps weren't enough anymore. I recognize that I am flailing. That is the truth. I need to get back on track so it doesn't become failure.

TOM does suck. Big time. I noticed this month that I struggled during ovulation, too, which is uncommon for me. Hormones are a *****.

Overall, I really need to recharge....and get some exercise. It will and does make me feel better. My boyfriend will exercise with me on occasion, but sometimes it is like pulling teeth.

I need to start making better choices regarding the food I keep in the house. I am the one who does the grocery shopping and my boyfriend is very supportive, so I truly have no one to blame but myself.

I can tell you one thing though.... No more giant tubs of cheese puffs from Target. They are the devil.

schell81

my advice, take a week off. Don't go crazy and binge but consider eating at maintenance but keeping up your exercise. Set a date for when you'll start up again and keep to it. I noticed that you're very close to your gain as well, what are your setting like? If you are at 2 pounds loss reduce it to 1 pound a week.

SabrinaLily

I know you're beating yourself up right now, but look how far you've come! You've lost OVER 20 pounds! That's incredible. You're 129 days in and 20 pounds lighter. How long were you holding onto those pounds? If you're like me, it was for a number of years and now poof! In 1/2 a year they're gone and while you're not losing more weight right now, the weight you lost is NEVER EVER coming back! And heck, yes, you may inevitably gain a few back (as I sure do), but even if you gain all but one back- you're still lighter than you were when you started! For me, I fall off the wagon a lot, usually every Sunday to be exact, but I pick myself back up on Mondays. Having one bad day is better than having seven. So yes, I may lose 3 pounds and gain back 1-2, but I gotta tell myself I'm still better than I was! And bit by slow bit, I am still working my way down the scale as you are too. So you've hit an impass and may have a few bad days- pick yourself back up and start logging in those calories again. If you start to lose a pound or two again, you'll notice how your outlook on life in general improves. I think everything is connected, both mentally and physically. Whatever's going on the inside of me is happening on the outside as well and it's very telling! If I'm depressed, my house is in shambles and then I get more depressed about feeling like crap AND having a messy house! It's a slippery slope to hitting bottom! Not only that, it affects the attitudes of those around me. Get back on the wagon! You've come so far and worked so hard, so you know you can do it and that the hard work pays off! If you start eating better again and get all of those junk-food toxins out of you, you'll lose the weight and hopefully see life a little more optimistically. A happier you helps others have a better attitude too! Best wishes, Jenn

Halleeon

Sounds like you understand whats going on (half the battle) and are going to make it work. Sounds wonderful to me, you can do this! I have faith in you.

lizziebeth1028

I've been on MFP for 129 days. The first 70 or so were great! However, the past 59 or so have been more of a struggle. In September I traveled, I moved, and I celebrated three family birthdays. I'm adjusting to now living with my boyfriend and I have a longer commute. I'm dealing with some issues at work, the weather is changing here in IL and I'm currently dealing with TOM. I'm tired and I feel like I'm failing... I know these are all challenges and/or excuses. I also know I need to recommit to exercise...and I guess I need to get remotivated. I'm still going through the motion but I am disappointed in myself.

Any advice? I know the *best* advice is just do it, but I'm looking for more constructive answers for now...

Browse the success forum. There are so many people who have made major body transformations in the face of adversity. It's a humbling experience!

1sophiesophie

This is not a journey. This is not a process. It is ONLY about whether your VERY NEXT eating choice is a good one, and whether your VERY NEXT exercise opportunity is used to burn calories. Just repeat that as often and for as long as you need to lose weight, and over the long run, you will lose weight. I guarantee it.

Spot on.

pegsum

I want to add that if you're tired, make sure you are getting enough sleep. Adequate sleep is just as important as exercise for your health and well-being.

Google "sleep and weight" It's very interesting.

jessihoover

I was in the same spot you were! Lots of changes going on in life and no movement in my weightloss journey. I was getting frustrated I wanted to quit but I didnt. I went to my doctor and she did some tests and found out that my Vitamin D was low which can effect many things! being tired, hurting all the time, loss of focus, being depressive. I started on taking more vitamins and started excerising regularly again and I'm starting to get back to normal. Just don't quit, just re-evaluate how you are doing things and maybe see your doctor - maybe there is something else going on. Good luck!

hypotrochoid

Be kind to yourself. It's very easy to fall into the 'I'm doing everything wrong" mindset and give up. Don't. You're human. Things are going to happen. You can't change them, you can only learn from them and then keep going. If this is something you want, you'll find your way.

Good luck.

serenefractal

"I'm learning how to punch life back when it punches me - it's going to get a lucky shot in now and then." Stuff happens, priorities get shuffled, motivations change - it's all a wheel, just 'cause you're on the bottom today doesn't mean you're always going to be stuck there.

LOVE IT! Thanks, I really needed to hear that, cause I've taken a few on the chin

guardian419

You only fail when you give up. Until then, you have things to learn from and challenges to overcome.

You've been here for more than 2 weeks, start to look for your willpower for strength to make the right choices.

ash8184

I agree that this lifestyle change is 90%+ mental, just like running is totally a mental game (I have just recently learned this). When your body tells you it's time to stop, your mind must tell you to keep going. YOU CAN DO THIS. Not every day will be perfect, not every meal will be just the way it should, but we all have slip ups, and in the end, remember why you're losing weight - for yourself and your health!

whouwannab

I feel like I can relate to you right now. I maintained my weight loss for a year and a half and then for some reason in the last few months I stopped exercising regularly and started eating poorly. This is a bad time of year to lose focus. Shorter days, colder weather, and the start of holiday goodies at the office daily are killing me. Also, I am very tired from the no exercise and crappy food. I gotta figure out a way to get remotivated also!!! I was thinking about buying a new workout video. Maybe that would get me excited. Also thought about a friendly workout/healthy eating challenge with my husband. Hope you can find something to get you re-motivated!! Good luck!

Yolanda4160

((hugs)) try to surround yourself with positive, motivated people that will help you stay on track. Sometimes the best motivation is a kind word from someone else, fitting into a smaller size, etc. Believe me- I started in January and the first 20 pounds came off pretty quickly, but then it slowed. I have reached 60 pounds now, but I am in the gym daily! -- only because I remind myself how far I have come It takes a lot of dedication, but it is worth it in the end! Good luck and god bless

bhfood

I sympathize. It is a battle, but it IS a battle that can be won. support I think is key. This site has been instrumental to my latest efforts and I am committed to making exercise and good nutrition my lifestyle. key word: LIFE. It will be a lifelong way of going about our daily routines. It must be a priority. If you're at your best do it in the morning. if you get up earlier to do it you will have way more energy aNd if you're better at night, do it then but find vaRied waYs to exercise, that;s aNother thing I'm doing this time aRound that I didn;t do before. now I;m not getting bored aS much. Good luck aNd haNg in there.

JEG2012

I agree with everyone above me. There will always be good and bad days, but more good that bad. Take it day be day. Yes, it seems you have a lot of changes going on right now, but you embrace each one of them knowing you will overcome and succeed! Losing and keeping 1-2 pound off each week is wonderful, be proud girl!

Add me if you like, I'll be there to cheer you on your victories and nudge you when you're feeling blue.

VorJoshigan

My three things for today.

1) STOP! Stop everything you're doing and go out and take a 5-10-15 minute walk. Stop reading this and go do that right NOW!
2) Lose the "or" mentality. The only failure is in giving up. Don't focus on being perfect - just make sure that the next decision you make is a better one.
3) Turn off every single sensory input device you have and go stare out a window or up at the sky for 5 minutes.

Chief_Rocka

It's a constant struggle, and it often doesn't get easier.

Pinpoint exactly what is throwing your off of your routine, and find ways to work around it.

sarafay80

Set yourself up for succes. A couple things I have recently changed that re-energized me:

1) Planning a menu for meals. Lowered my shopping efforts and made my week easier. I get everything ready for breakfast and lunch for the work week. This has reduced my stress and my ability to deviate and go out instead.

2) Try a new workout/workout partner/group class, etc. Make your exercise portion new again. Dedicate the days of the week you will go to the gym and be consistent with it. I recently trained with a trainer for a month (they had a special) and it really renewed my faith that I CAN DO THIS! When I go to group classes I feel the same - watching the others around me and knowing they all started somewhere.

BELIEVE in yourself! You have the knowledge to continue your successful journey. Make eating right and exercising easy and fun - this has really re-energized me.

Capt_Apollo

we all have problems. we all can make excuses to take a day or two off, to say that we'll start tomorrow or whatever.

do what you need to do.

work hard.

no excuses.

play like a champion.

Goal_Line

The past is the past there is nothing you can do to change it. Each day recommit yourself. Take it one day at time.

I sounds like you are stressed. Use exercise as a form of stress relief.