Fat Hate? Interesting article.

ohnoetry

Eh. I know I am in the minority on MFP as someone who believes whole-heartedly in body positivity and believes that you CAN be healthy at a larger size. I don't think there's anything wrong with the list.

Agreed. I think fat acceptance is a very slippery slope, at least for someone who has struggled with their weight their whole life (people like ME!). On the one hand, I love the idea of loving yourself at every step in your life, why shouldn't you? I wish I could! A lot of people, myself included, have at one point or another thought about life after being overweight and does being thin fix ALL of life's problems? No, but we sure like to think that way.

I hate feeling like I'm being judged for all of my food choices as the article says. I hate that people probably think I NEVER work out when that's the complete opposite, but because I'm still categorically obese, no way could I have run a 5K, right?

I have been told by doctors that medication leaving me with no appetite is a FABULOUS thing because then I'll lose weight, never mind that I'm a diabetic and need to have a steady diet of never going too hungry for my blood glucose crashing. But you know, I'm fat so I did this to myself--lose weight at all costs!!!!

On the other hand, the fat acceptance crowd probably hates me because I am losing weight to CONFORM TO SOCIETY.

Phew, sorry for the rant.

Shadowknight137

I got a good giggle out of this.

Cheers!

LoraF83

Lol, no.

I've been fat. It was horrible. And it was unhealthy. Some fat people may be healthy "now" and some (a small percentage) may always be healthy.....but most will have a variety of health problems. And mobility problems. And that's a problem.

And why should we as a society accept behaviors and choices that are bad for us? There are a small percentage of people who are fat because of health issues or genetic issues and such. But more are fat because they eat too much and don't exercise. Why should we make that ok? Especially for kids? #17 was absolutely ridiculous!

The only thing I agree with was #3....we need to stop saying the words good, bad, and treat in reference to certain foods. There is only "too much" in regards to certain foods. Otherwise, enjoy food - as long as it fits in your calorie goal/daily plan.

VelociMama

I've been fat. It was horrible. And it was unhealthy. Some fat people may be healthy "now" and some (a small percentage) may always be healthy.....but most will have a variety of health problems. And mobility problems. And that's a problem.

I think a lot of people miss this point, and it's the one they shouldn't miss.

The real damage from obesity is long-term, not short-term. You might be "healthy" and obese in your 20s, but if that obesity persists until you're in your 30's or 40's, the story can and does changes for many people. Often, the damage is irreversible by then as well, and people end up with lifetime-long problems. It's a real shame too.

jesspi68

Almost all of that post was ridiculous. Just the action of carrying all the extra weight is undue burden on your cardiovascular system. Also, if someone were to lose weight some of their medical issues might clear up!!! If my grandmother lost weight her knees and her diabetes would be better than they are now. And to say that it isn't something you can change is wrong. I used to think it was never going to change because I went to a gym religiously for a year and nothing changed, yea but until I started tracking my calories I didn't realize I was eating like a cow at the same time. Nope, my hour at the gym didn't make up for the fact that I had a full breakfast, full lunch and then crammed down a double whopper meal king sized with a large non-diet coke.

As for childhood obesity - this is a frustrating topic, children need to eat better and play more actively. I know that when I was a child I wasn't overweight until we started getting video games and I stopped going outside. Yes, I'm sure there are other reasons for it, but this has to be a contributing factor.

And the notion even in the slightest that I "hate fat people" is disgusting and insulting. I don't have time for hate, it's exhausting and not productive, but I can tell from this blog post which I managed to read all of, that she does have plenty of time for hate, which perhaps could be channeled into something more productive.

yoovie

"21 Things to Stop Saying Unless you Hate Fat People"

I do not choose my words based on your eating habits and lack of exercise. Sorry - keep trying.

Erienneb

I literally could not finish reading the article I was getting so mad. "significatn weight loss is not possible for most people" is what really got me. Yeah, I am fat. And you know who's fault that is? Mine. I've lost more than half a pound a day since I started. Is it easy? Hell no, and I imagine if I was a parent it would be a million times harder. Stop making excuses. "health and obesity are not related"....what planet are you on? Dear god. I can't even think about it anymore.

DrMAvDPhD

No.... Just... No.

Since permanent, significant weight loss is not possible for most people, and since intentional weight loss itself may have negative health effects, recommending weight loss is cruel and unethical. Also, prescribing weight loss displaces real, working treatments. Everyone deserves to have their conditions taken seriously and treated with effective care, regardless of their size.

.

Yeah, I didn't like hearing from my doctors that losing weight would help my chronic joint pain, but it did. And I wasn't fat, I was barely 10 pounds over the healthy BMI.

mgmlap

I remember when I first went to the doctor..she diagnosed me with a metabolic syndrome. she never mentioned weight..but put me on medication..i lost weight without trying..she then said i want you to lose more....but here are the tools. I think that is more important..having the tools to deal with your body..rather than blanket statements.

I also know that yes..hereditary does play a part in our lives..but blaming them does not work... At one point in your life, you became an adult and are now responsible for what you do..which includes what you put into your mouth!.

I have an obese sister..who always finds excuses....she doesn not want to lose weight..but instead blames the world for her lack of will power..

Its sad ...weight is one thing that is totally in our control..granted some people need a special manual..such as learning how to eat, the proper meds..how to exercise...some take the bull by the horns..other just simply sit and plead ignorance

ril0riley

I wonder if there are any criteria she would deem worthy for someone deciding to lose weight.
"I don't like how I look-- I'm motivated to do something about it"? Hm, no, its unacceptable for you to dislike being fat
"I like how I look and feel, but I want to get healthy" NOPE. Healthy has nothing to do with weight!
I guess we're all just crazy for wanting to do something about it

Lalouse

If everyone here is so concerned about the health of people who are overweight or obese, then I think the next question to ask yourselves is whether any of the comments mentioned by that writer would actually help that person. The mocking ones certainly wouldn't, and the suggestions to help or giving advice probably depend on your relationship with the person.

I do believe that fat-phobia or fattism exist, if only because our society pushes us way too much to look a certain way and that's not just skinny, but a certain kind of skin, shape, skin color, etc..

And I agree that much of the mockery and association with being fat with other negative characteristics is a sign of the problem in our society.. I think all of that is inappropriate and unfortunately happens even here on MFP. It's really a form of bullying and actually does NOTHING to actually get the overweight person to change.

However, I do think that some of it is a little extreme because I think many of those statements can be used in situations with people who are not overweight or with close friends who are. That said, I probably wouldn't make any negative or positive statements to people I don't know.. or people I work with.

If they strike up a conversation, I'm more than happy to speak up, but even though I'm a public health researcher and professional, I try not to go judge people based on how they look and certainly don't go around telling people what I think of their weight or their appearance.

amydee714

Eh. I know I am in the minority on MFP as someone who believes whole-heartedly in body positivity and believes that you CAN be healthy at a larger size. I don't think there's anything wrong with the list.

I beleive in body positivity too. I am over a hundred pounds overweight (obese if you will) and I KNOW that I am a beautiful sexy woman. I also am in very good health. In fact my doctor told me (when I was 100 pounds heavier) that I was the healtiest fat person he has ever known. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I also know how LUCKY I have been to NOT have any serious medical issues due to my weight... yet. Why keep pushing my luck? I love myself and I love life and I want to live it for as long as possible.

I think the blog writer is correct that we should not HATE fat people, but this blog was just so full of fail in the way she expressed it that it was hard to take her seriously.

hillm12345

that article should be titled :

"I'm fat, and don't want you to point it out or help me so here is a list of 21 things to not say around me"

VelociMama

Eh. I know I am in the minority on MFP as someone who believes whole-heartedly in body positivity and believes that you CAN be healthy at a larger size. I don't think there's anything wrong with the list.

I beleive in body positivity too. I am over a hundred pounds overweight (obese if you will) and I KNOW that I am a beautiful sexy woman. I also am in very good health. In fact my doctor told me (when I was 100 pounds heavier) that I was the healtiest fat person he has ever known. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I also know how LUCKY I have been to NOT have any serious medical issues due to my weight... yet. Why keep pushing my luck? I love myself and I love life and I want to live it for as long as possible.

I think the blog writer is correct that we should not HATE fat people, but this blog was just so full of fail in the way she expressed it that it was hard to take her seriously.

your attitude! Good for you for not living in denial but also having confidence.

FlaxMilk

A doctor recommending weight loss is not cruel and unethical. It would be cruel and unethical not to advise that weight loss would help improve the condition. Of course, a doctor should not refuse effective treatment, but a doctor should advise on the options. I'd be pissed if I underwent a surgery or a medication with side effects if that could have been avoided by my doctor telling me to lose 20 lbs.

thektturner

I also have to disagree with most of this. It seems to be willfully ignorant. I completely agree that we shouldn't judge, we shouldn't comment negatively on and we definitely shouldn't bully those that are different from us in any way, but the writer is basically demonizing efforts to control weight and derogating anyone else who thinks that doing so will have benefits to them. What is that but a judgment and bullying in reverse?

^^This.

Jeneba

"21 Things to Stop Saying Unless you Hate Fat People"

I do not choose my words based on your eating habits and lack of exercise. Sorry - keep trying.

Yoovie - I got SLAMMED on FB for suggesting that "curvy" means "hourglass," not "volleyball" and a license to overeat and not exercise. No one even bothered to read the rest of my post which said that this is a health issue and that out of respect for those people who don't have a choice to slim down, those of us who DO have a choice should reform our habits. I also said that for those who are on medication that effects severe weight gain, the weight IS a choice they have made to be more healthy.

Didn't matter. I was subject to THE mosr vicious, vitriolic PERSONAL attacks from people I actually know in "real life" and should know better that I am not a venomous person. FAR from it! So - who is being HATEFUL and judgmental in this situation???

But what set me off originally was a series of photos of OBESE women wearing very little clothing in suggestive poses that came over my FB feed. As otheres on this thread have said - I am ALL FOR everyone feeling good about themselves and the aesthetic shape of their body. But to make a CAUSE out of being unhealthy and ultimately disempowered by dis-eases because of it - that just infuriates me! AND - I would be equally upset by photos of women who look like they are starving.

At no time have I ever said anything the least bit denigrating to any individual about THEMSELF. Why is it OK to go after ME with personal attacks? No - I will NOT enable someone's condition OR their meanspiritedness.

auroranflash

Guys, I'm deactivating. Since we have no idea what makes people fat or thin, there's no point in being here. It was nice knowing all of you. Best of luck on this magical journey.

MaraDiaz

Eh. I know I am in the minority on MFP as someone who believes whole-heartedly in body positivity and believes that you CAN be healthy at a larger size. I don't think there's anything wrong with the list.

I agree there are plenty of people who can be and are healthy at a larger size than 'thin', especially television's version of 'thin'. Happens with my back problems I'm not one of them, and one of my knees has been giving me some grief, too.

There is a small part of me, now that I've lost some weight, that I hate that pipes up with snarky thoughts sometimes when I see someone who is as big as I was this time last year. That part of me I attribute to social conditioning that teaches us to look down on overweight people, and I despise it and I despise the society that teaches this mindset. So in that sense, I'm all for fat acceptance. But I'm completely against refusing to accept facts, and the facts are, most of us are not as healthy fat as we are thin.

126siany

The article is mainly rationalizations.

From experience, let me tell you that carrying significant weight bites you in the *kitten* in the end. You MAY be OK TODAY, but carrying an extra person around will ruin you in the end.

My Mom has been heavy since her first pregnancy--so since 19. By 25, she was 40 pounds overweight. By 30, 60lbs. By 33, enough overweight that no one could tell she was pregnant with my baby brother. They did think he was twins due to her weight and difficulties in imaging technolgies due to her being so fat, but he wasn't (thank goodness- we couldn't have afforded it).

No health issues per doctors until she hit 40, when she was turned away from donating blood due to her BP. She had historically LOW BP, like "don't you pass out when you stand up" low. This was a turning point. She was about 70 pounds overweight at this point.

By 45, she was in CONSTANT pain. All of her joints. Still could move normally though. About 80 pounds overweight at this point. She began self-limiting walking and basically any effort.

50, fatter and less mobile, BP worse, needed a hysterectomy, knees are constantly painful. Hands are almost useless due to arthritis. *yes, this is related to being overweight*

By 50, she was 100lbs overweight. And this is when they found the arrhythmia.

Now, at 68: 125-160 pounds overweight. Can not walk more than 10 feet. Can not get up out of a chair without assistance. Can not do anything that requires fine dexterity of the hands. Has had 3 strokes. Has sleep apnea, HBP, AAA, major depression, and can not handle tasks of daily living on her own due to immobility.

She has to plan a shower, as it is simply too much effort. She has intertrigo--yeast infections of the skin folds--over half her body, constantly. She can't tie her own shoes. She can't clip her own toenails. She breaks toilet seats. She refuses to go anywhere as she thinks she might not fit in a seat.

In today's America, she isn't "that fat". Unbelievable to me, but true. However, the toll of carrying 60-125 lbs over the course of 40 yrs has made her an invalid who can not actually care for herself. Legally, we kids can do nothing as she is mentally intact. So we TRY to do everything for her, but can't. And yes, her mental capacity diminishes BEFORE OUR EYES. The recent research saying being fat makes you stupid over time is apparently true. But she is still mentally competent enough to preclude any intervention on the part of family or the state. she lives in filth, she herself is filthy. But not enough to be able to force help-yet. She's in that limbo of suffering but no one can force help.

I have accepted that she will succeed in eating herself to death. It is what it is.

She was "healthy, active fat person" for a long time. Until she became an invalid due to her weight.