Fat Hate? Interesting article.

Lalouse

If everyone here is so concerned about the health of people who are overweight or obese, then I think the next question to ask yourselves is whether any of the comments mentioned by that writer would actually help that person. The mocking ones certainly wouldn't, and the suggestions to help or giving advice probably depend on your relationship with the person.

I do believe that fat-phobia or fattism exist, if only because our society pushes us way too much to look a certain way and that's not just skinny, but a certain kind of skin, shape, skin color, etc..

And I agree that much of the mockery and association with being fat with other negative characteristics is a sign of the problem in our society.. I think all of that is inappropriate and unfortunately happens even here on MFP. It's really a form of bullying and actually does NOTHING to actually get the overweight person to change.

However, I do think that some of it is a little extreme because I think many of those statements can be used in situations with people who are not overweight or with close friends who are. That said, I probably wouldn't make any negative or positive statements to people I don't know.. or people I work with.

If they strike up a conversation, I'm more than happy to speak up, but even though I'm a public health researcher and professional, I try not to go judge people based on how they look and certainly don't go around telling people what I think of their weight or their appearance.

amydee714

Eh. I know I am in the minority on MFP as someone who believes whole-heartedly in body positivity and believes that you CAN be healthy at a larger size. I don't think there's anything wrong with the list.

I beleive in body positivity too. I am over a hundred pounds overweight (obese if you will) and I KNOW that I am a beautiful sexy woman. I also am in very good health. In fact my doctor told me (when I was 100 pounds heavier) that I was the healtiest fat person he has ever known. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I also know how LUCKY I have been to NOT have any serious medical issues due to my weight... yet. Why keep pushing my luck? I love myself and I love life and I want to live it for as long as possible.

I think the blog writer is correct that we should not HATE fat people, but this blog was just so full of fail in the way she expressed it that it was hard to take her seriously.

hillm12345

that article should be titled :

"I'm fat, and don't want you to point it out or help me so here is a list of 21 things to not say around me"

VelociMama

Eh. I know I am in the minority on MFP as someone who believes whole-heartedly in body positivity and believes that you CAN be healthy at a larger size. I don't think there's anything wrong with the list.

I beleive in body positivity too. I am over a hundred pounds overweight (obese if you will) and I KNOW that I am a beautiful sexy woman. I also am in very good health. In fact my doctor told me (when I was 100 pounds heavier) that I was the healtiest fat person he has ever known. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I also know how LUCKY I have been to NOT have any serious medical issues due to my weight... yet. Why keep pushing my luck? I love myself and I love life and I want to live it for as long as possible.

I think the blog writer is correct that we should not HATE fat people, but this blog was just so full of fail in the way she expressed it that it was hard to take her seriously.

your attitude! Good for you for not living in denial but also having confidence.

FlaxMilk

A doctor recommending weight loss is not cruel and unethical. It would be cruel and unethical not to advise that weight loss would help improve the condition. Of course, a doctor should not refuse effective treatment, but a doctor should advise on the options. I'd be pissed if I underwent a surgery or a medication with side effects if that could have been avoided by my doctor telling me to lose 20 lbs.

thektturner

I also have to disagree with most of this. It seems to be willfully ignorant. I completely agree that we shouldn't judge, we shouldn't comment negatively on and we definitely shouldn't bully those that are different from us in any way, but the writer is basically demonizing efforts to control weight and derogating anyone else who thinks that doing so will have benefits to them. What is that but a judgment and bullying in reverse?

^^This.

Jeneba

"21 Things to Stop Saying Unless you Hate Fat People"

I do not choose my words based on your eating habits and lack of exercise. Sorry - keep trying.

Yoovie - I got SLAMMED on FB for suggesting that "curvy" means "hourglass," not "volleyball" and a license to overeat and not exercise. No one even bothered to read the rest of my post which said that this is a health issue and that out of respect for those people who don't have a choice to slim down, those of us who DO have a choice should reform our habits. I also said that for those who are on medication that effects severe weight gain, the weight IS a choice they have made to be more healthy.

Didn't matter. I was subject to THE mosr vicious, vitriolic PERSONAL attacks from people I actually know in "real life" and should know better that I am not a venomous person. FAR from it! So - who is being HATEFUL and judgmental in this situation???

But what set me off originally was a series of photos of OBESE women wearing very little clothing in suggestive poses that came over my FB feed. As otheres on this thread have said - I am ALL FOR everyone feeling good about themselves and the aesthetic shape of their body. But to make a CAUSE out of being unhealthy and ultimately disempowered by dis-eases because of it - that just infuriates me! AND - I would be equally upset by photos of women who look like they are starving.

At no time have I ever said anything the least bit denigrating to any individual about THEMSELF. Why is it OK to go after ME with personal attacks? No - I will NOT enable someone's condition OR their meanspiritedness.

auroranflash

Guys, I'm deactivating. Since we have no idea what makes people fat or thin, there's no point in being here. It was nice knowing all of you. Best of luck on this magical journey.

MaraDiaz

Eh. I know I am in the minority on MFP as someone who believes whole-heartedly in body positivity and believes that you CAN be healthy at a larger size. I don't think there's anything wrong with the list.

I agree there are plenty of people who can be and are healthy at a larger size than 'thin', especially television's version of 'thin'. Happens with my back problems I'm not one of them, and one of my knees has been giving me some grief, too.

There is a small part of me, now that I've lost some weight, that I hate that pipes up with snarky thoughts sometimes when I see someone who is as big as I was this time last year. That part of me I attribute to social conditioning that teaches us to look down on overweight people, and I despise it and I despise the society that teaches this mindset. So in that sense, I'm all for fat acceptance. But I'm completely against refusing to accept facts, and the facts are, most of us are not as healthy fat as we are thin.

126siany

The article is mainly rationalizations.

From experience, let me tell you that carrying significant weight bites you in the *kitten* in the end. You MAY be OK TODAY, but carrying an extra person around will ruin you in the end.

My Mom has been heavy since her first pregnancy--so since 19. By 25, she was 40 pounds overweight. By 30, 60lbs. By 33, enough overweight that no one could tell she was pregnant with my baby brother. They did think he was twins due to her weight and difficulties in imaging technolgies due to her being so fat, but he wasn't (thank goodness- we couldn't have afforded it).

No health issues per doctors until she hit 40, when she was turned away from donating blood due to her BP. She had historically LOW BP, like "don't you pass out when you stand up" low. This was a turning point. She was about 70 pounds overweight at this point.

By 45, she was in CONSTANT pain. All of her joints. Still could move normally though. About 80 pounds overweight at this point. She began self-limiting walking and basically any effort.

50, fatter and less mobile, BP worse, needed a hysterectomy, knees are constantly painful. Hands are almost useless due to arthritis. *yes, this is related to being overweight*

By 50, she was 100lbs overweight. And this is when they found the arrhythmia.

Now, at 68: 125-160 pounds overweight. Can not walk more than 10 feet. Can not get up out of a chair without assistance. Can not do anything that requires fine dexterity of the hands. Has had 3 strokes. Has sleep apnea, HBP, AAA, major depression, and can not handle tasks of daily living on her own due to immobility.

She has to plan a shower, as it is simply too much effort. She has intertrigo--yeast infections of the skin folds--over half her body, constantly. She can't tie her own shoes. She can't clip her own toenails. She breaks toilet seats. She refuses to go anywhere as she thinks she might not fit in a seat.

In today's America, she isn't "that fat". Unbelievable to me, but true. However, the toll of carrying 60-125 lbs over the course of 40 yrs has made her an invalid who can not actually care for herself. Legally, we kids can do nothing as she is mentally intact. So we TRY to do everything for her, but can't. And yes, her mental capacity diminishes BEFORE OUR EYES. The recent research saying being fat makes you stupid over time is apparently true. But she is still mentally competent enough to preclude any intervention on the part of family or the state. she lives in filth, she herself is filthy. But not enough to be able to force help-yet. She's in that limbo of suffering but no one can force help.

I have accepted that she will succeed in eating herself to death. It is what it is.

She was "healthy, active fat person" for a long time. Until she became an invalid due to her weight.

mbk830

I'm going to be the minority here - and maybe it's because I'm still so "fat" or morbidly obese. Don't get me wrong - there is an immense amount of stupidity in this article; however, the author makes a very few good points.

1) Little is as mortifying than having people (often coworkers or acquaintances) loudly praise your food choice in large groups. It kind of makes me want to crawl under the carpet. Let my closest friends do it privately.

2) The example of “That guy must own stock in Cheetos.” It makes you wonder what they are saying about me when my back is turned. Sometimes it's like people forget you are fat and don't realize how that feels.

3) For high blood pressure, diabetes, sleep apnea, etc it should absolutely be brought up by health professionals as result of being obese. However, I've had many a doc (not neurologists) tell me if I would just lose 10 lbs or 10% of my weight that my migraines would disappear. You know what, they haven't even lessened. I was thrilled to tell a new doc recently that I'd lost 50 lbs. He just stared at me confused. That being said, I truly hope that they believe they are doing the right thing.

Gallowmere1984

Well, that was a huge waste of time...oh, wait did I say huge? Uhm, I meant large...err...massive...dammit...

First: why wasn't the number one thing "I hate fat people"? Seems like it would be the most obvious thing.

Second: this is nothing more than another example of some random fat person trying to vindicate the ****ty choices of millions of other fat people.

mensasu

that article should be titled :

"I'm fat, and don't want you to point it out or help me so here is a list of 21 things to not say around me"

That's the way I saw it too.

Erisad

Sounds like somebody didn't have much luck in trying to lose weight so now she's taking it out on everyone else who's healthier than her. I don't think you should belittle fat people buuuuut this is way too politically correct for my tastes.

Shellsmiley

If everyone here is so concerned about the health of people who are overweight or obese, then I think the next question to ask yourselves is whether any of the comments mentioned by that writer would actually help that person. The mocking ones certainly wouldn't, and the suggestions to help or giving advice probably depend on your relationship with the person.

I do believe that fat-phobia or fattism exist, if only because our society pushes us way too much to look a certain way and that's not just skinny, but a certain kind of skin, shape, skin color, etc..

And I agree that much of the mockery and association with being fat with other negative characteristics is a sign of the problem in our society.. I think all of that is inappropriate and unfortunately happens even here on MFP. It's really a form of bullying and actually does NOTHING to actually get the overweight person to change.

However, I do think that some of it is a little extreme because I think many of those statements can be used in situations with people who are not overweight or with close friends who are. That said, I probably wouldn't make any negative or positive statements to people I don't know.. or people I work with.

If they strike up a conversation, I'm more than happy to speak up, but even though I'm a public health researcher and professional, I try not to go judge people based on how they look and certainly don't go around telling people what I think of their weight or their appearance.

THANK YOU! Society does not help and it SHOULD BE considering bullying or harassment.

ZugTheMegasaurus

It's very weird; I think this person is dead wrong about many of her ideas but don't disagree with most of the list. It's simply untrue that obesity is not related to any legitimate health concerns or that losing weight can't provide benefits, so on the facts, those ideas are just incorrect. Some of the rules are ridiculous (like #10). However, I can't fault most of the list items because they fall under the category of "mind your own frakking business." It's just not appropriate to make unsolicited remarks about someone's weight, even if it's well-intentioned (and especially if it isn't).

It's not even a fat-related thing, it's just a personal space/privacy issue. I feel the same way about people constantly telling pregnant women what to do or being nosy about someone's serious illness (it's amazing how many people will ask incredibly personal questions of cancer patients). If you're not being asked, assume that your commentary isn't welcome.

Awkward30

Number 10 made me literally roll my eyes. Sometimes losing weight IS the best solution to whatever is ailing you. And doctors should be able to say that to their patients. Durdurdur.

Yup, losing weight/exercise (as she pointed out, I can't separate the two) fixed my back problems and I wish a doctor had at least told me to exercise, if not than actually said to lose weight.

Also, it's hypocritical to say you don't want me to treat you differently because you're fat, but I'm not allowed to talk about things I talk about with thin friends, like how much I deadlifted, what race I want to run, and whether or not paleo is a crock of ****.

I hate to say it, but I judge unhealthy people. Thin and fat, when I see them take the elevator up or down a floor. I judge people who have mobility issues due to weight and don't try to lose the weight, I judge people in line at McDonalds (at which point I'm obviously in the line too, I judge me as harshly as everyone else). I don't assume that someone slightly overweight is unhealthy, but there is a point where just having that much extra weight is taxing your body and is unhealthy. Oh, I also judge smokers. In fact, I judge exercising smokers pretty hard because why put in the effort to exercise if you're just going to follow it up with one of the most unhealthy habits around!?

Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I am happier now that I am healthier, and I believe the same would apply to everyone, if they were willing to put in the work to be healthy.

ETA: my judging is purely mental, I would never take it upon myself to make someone feel any less than amazing. I also try not to say anything to a third party because that just seems rude and cowardly. I was just confessing to being a mental judgey pants.

peuglow

that article should be titled :

"I'm fat, and don't want you to point it out or help me so here is a list of 21 things to not say around me"

hahahahahahah

This is the best reaction so far.