Anyone have friends/family who think you'll be fat forever?

xxcandywrathxx

I have a friend who I wont name that keeps telling me it will be impossible to lose the amount of weight I want and that I'll never be skinny. Instead she say's I'll always be fat.
Feels real good and supportive.

(( I only wanted to get down to a size 12 on top and a 14 on the bottom.))

Anyone else get the same response from there friends/family?

xxcandywrathxx

bump.

kcoftx

First of all, you can do anything you set your mind to. Do NOT sell yourself short. It will take determination and perserverence but you CAN do it. It doesn't matter what she thinks. What matters is where YOUR mind is. If you are really ready, you will do it.

Zomoniac

I got told that.

Then I did it anyway. And did a smug dance of gloating.

lacroyx

In the past. One of those best feelings in the world is proving those people wrong.

LittleMissDover

This is one reason I keep my weight loss private, I don't tell people I'm trying to lose weight so that they can't make disparaging comments or look at me while I'm having chocolate (within my allowance) and say 'should you be eating that?' etc and also IF I do happen to fail then I don't have to justify myself.

kage5678

That sounds like the kind of "friend" you would be better off without.

Jealous? Insecure? Their attitude probably has very little to do with you and everything to do with them

nat1cat

People told me that all throughout my childhood. (I was a fat kid in the 90s, back when it wasn't as common. They told me it was genetic and it was my destiny, which was a lie). Once I left the influence of these people and started counting and exercising, I made progress. I've maintained a "fit" weight for five solid years now, and I've proven them all horribly wrong.

Don't underestimate the power of what you believe -- it was only until I stopped believing these idiots that I had the confidence to keep going and stay disciplined.

Good luck!

Amberonamission

I grew up in a family full of "you'll never" people. It's my greatest joy to ha ha them.

crystalbluewolf13

Doesn't sound like avery good 'friend' to me. As real friends wouldn't say stuff like that. My grandad always goes on about me being fat and i hate him for it, cause hes a miserable old man who has mothing better to do

Qskim

My mother who was well meaning at the time said it was genetic...I was like my nan so I should accept it. My nan died of breast cancer that spread throughout her body. She also had psoriasis like I do. I didn't want to be let off the hook that easy. But I was so big, people found it hard to imagine that I could lose it. It spurred me on..the health issue. I was a size 22 and am now a size 16...12/14 is my goal too. People are absolutely amazed and quite honestly so am I. I didn't think I would see such results. Health was my endgame but I knew weight would be secondary and thought I wouldn't look great just healthy. My husband says it's fascinating..he reckons even my nose has lost weight lol! When people started/bothered to notice, I knew they were waiting for me to give up too. But I think of nan and my genes/jeans (!) and it keeps me going. Quite honestly, it is hard to imagine heavy people thin. Especially if they have been that way for a long time.

awallin86

I have had people like that in my life. Perhaps I am way too spiteful.... but things like that just send me into overdrive where I want to work harder just to prove them wrong. Do you think that your friend was just trying to be honest? Or do you think it was a genuine put-down? I have some very honest friends who at first would seem like it would be a put-down, but they know me well enough that they are just telling me the truth. If they are being honest then I would really work much harder to prove them wrong. If it's just them being catty, ignore it! You are the only one who has to be you... so their opinions don't matter anyways!
Honestly it's easier to say you can do anything you put your mind too... I think about working out all day.... but unless I start sweating and get the junk food out of my mouth, nothing is going to get done. If you're truly serious you can't just say you're going to do it, you have to work at it. Much easier said than done of course. )

Koldnomore

If we accepted blindly every time someone told us that we "can't" we would have never walked on the moon, cured polio, developed computers or cars or seen the fall of the Berlin wall in our lives.

YOU are in control, if you say you can't - you won't ..As Master Yoda says (yes I AM a geek) "Do, or do NOT, there is no TRY"

hairsprayhon

"friend" ? I assume that she is a good friend in other ways, so I would just keep this topic off limits. I agree that I don't talk about my weight loss efforts with others. That is why MFP is so great, there is lots of support and when you need to you can look at people who have done what your "friend" thinks is impossible.

MichelleLaree13

I would not talk to her about dieting any more. Who needs the negativity? Even if you fail a million times or lose only a pound a month, a friend should be dusting you off and telling you that slow is progress!

nikilis

my brother has always been underweight, probably 17-18 BMI, smokes and drinks energy drinks instead of eating and points out how people need to loose weight or "shouldn't eat that". everyone in my family has a healthy bmi, except my sister who is one point over because she had 2 kids.

hes just a total *kitten*. hes the kind of person that walks into a room and immediately looks for peoples weak spots, and then says them out loud.

like "hey Timmeh, how did you end up in a wheelchair!"

fitambitious

First of all, let me tell you that your ''friend'' is a super *****. You should stop hanging out with her. Seriously, I can't believe that your friend has the audacity to tell you that you will stay fat forever. There is NOTHING in the world that you cannot do if you work hard.

Now, the answer to your question is yes, My uncle made it a point to let me know that it's impossible for me to lose weight. Well, I lost 10lbs since his last comment and mentally showed him my middle finger :laugh: