Disappointed and disheartened

gio425

Hello everyone,

My name is Giovanna, I'm 25 years old and I have reached a new low (or high in terms of weight) in my life. I knew I had gained weight since dating my boyfriend and I haven't stepped on a scale in over a year, fearing whatever the result would be. Eating out more, getting a full time desk job and just not watching my health has taken its toll.
Last night at a friends, he was boasting how he bikes everywhere and has lost weight. He had a scale after prodding & prodding I said I would look, only if I could do so alone. My heart sank. And of course the digital display was huge and even thought my BF was standing feet behind me, I knew he saw. My heart sank again.

The heaviest I had ever been before yesterday was 190. I am now a little over 205lbs. That number scares me.

I started going to the gym two weeks ago about 45-60 min 3x a week. But I know that I have not changed my eating habits one bit. That will all be changing now. My family has a history of obesity, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc etc.

I am ashamed. I am angry. I was in denial. I am huge. I am broke so I can't buy clothes to fit my body so I look ridiculous. I feel that stress over money has only perpetuated my situation. THERE I GO MAKING EXCUSES. I alone am at fault for where I have landed with a thump. I should have taken my health more seriously. Now I will be.

I need help though. Please add me. I need a circle of friends to keep me going. To keep me motivated. And just some good old fashioned advise. If you have the time or want I will gladly accept anything I can get.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. It means the world to me. Thank you! --Gio

janeelizabethhoff

I started going to a gym and working out with a trainer 3 times a week, but I wasn't seeing any weightloss. I did loose inches, but the weight was going no where. About two weeks ago I really started to watch what I eat and journaling, it has made a world of difference. I have lost 5 lbs since then. So, eating right is a major part of it, it took me 3 months to figure that out. Now I feel like I'm on a roll.

I'm glad you decided to start the journey, you can do it and if you like you can add me as a friend.

GOOD LUCK, YOU CAN DO THIS!

Leahbcc

Look at what you have done so far...faced fears...one of the scale and one of change. You are taking controll and have support which is great. Never forget that the scale is just a number it does not define you. I have added you and wish you all the best

0815amj

Keep trying don't give up I felt the same way. My heart drop too when I got on the scale at 194 the heaviest I ever been.
But I had to do something. and little by little 1 pound at a time the weight keep coming off. It's been slow but steady but you will feel so much better. I was so excited to see 192. I'm 181 now and have 6 more pounds to go. Do a little each day and it will all add up in the end.

kheagy

Baby steps. That's my advice to you.
Two years ago I was at 215 pounds. I traveled 2 weeks out of 4 for work. I lived (and ate) in a car. One day, I caught a glipse of myself in a window. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was so upset.

Then and there I decided to make 2 changes: 1) no more eating in the car and 2) no french fries. The first week was really hard. I had to stop working to actually plan a meal. I had to be thoughtful in my choices. After a month of that, I cut out a couple of other things from my diet. You know what, it was easier. A week after that I cut out chocolate (gasp, right???). It wasn't so bad. After 2 months of selectively cutting out the bad stuff from my diet (and doing no exercise I might add) I was down 10 pounds. There was no stopping me from there. I continued to selectively reduce things from my diet and selectively add things over course of a year. I lost 40 pounds.

I didn't have the courage to go into a gym until my weight was down. That was a year ago this month. I now meet with a trainer 2 days a week and I'm training for my first 5K. I still haven't reached my goal weight but I no longer care. I am fit. I am strong. I look great!!!

Baby steps. You didn't get to where you are in 1 day and you're not going to get where you want to go in 1 day. Baby steps.

vaness7578

I am very much in a smilar situation. I met my now husband(weighted approx 190), got pregnant, had twins and then enjoyed life and food for awhile. I got back on the scale at about 212! Yikes. The best thing you can do is just do something! Even though i'm not proud of my weight. I'm becoming more proud of myself because i'm trying to fix the problem, and not adding to it. Good Luck!!

KaseyC0711

We all have to face our biggest fears one day... And you did!!! Now that you know where you are, and where you don't want to be, it's time to start making small, meaningful changes, everyday of your life. If you feel comfortable in a gym, then you should really start using it 5-6 days a week and logging it everyday. Start with light cardio sessions, followed by light strength training... But you have to keep in mind that it didn't take you one week, one month, to gain the weight, and it's not going to be a fast process of getting it off. As long as you can face that battle, and win the WAR, you WILL achieve your goals!! MFP is a great way to keep yourself motivated too. People on here, who use this as a tool to get themselves in to shape with proper diet and exercise, are always willing to lend a helping hand. We are all here to achieve the same goals, whether it's 15 pounds or 115 pounds. I've received so much invaluable information on here, and it's helping change my life. Use it too!!

I just have to tell you this.... Eating out should be a luxury, and not something you do everyday. Although it's quick and easy, many restaurants just can't offer you wholesome foods with good ingredients, and portion control like you will need when wanting to lose weight. Don't starve yourself, but embrace the need for change, and try to cook most meals at home. Get your boyfriend involved (if he's willing) and ask that he help prepare foods and set the table, so you can both enjoy each other's company over a good, nutritious meal. I tell ya girl, it will significantly help in your weight loss goals.

Keep in mind though that you will need to encourage yourself when others around you can't, won't, or are jealous of your success... Use MFP every day if you can!!! People are cruel by nature when they are jealous of someone's success... Although it's a terrible thing to say, it's true, so just be prepared and know when to turn to a positive source for encouragement!!! You are a strong woman with a clear vision of what you want and don't want. Take the bull by the horns!!! You've got this!!

Hellbent_Heidi

Being here is the first step...time to focus hard on the eating habits. You can do this! :flowerforyou:

jlau13

Gio!!! Keep your head up! On the bright side, you had "the moment" and you recognize that your lifestyle needs a change! It takes time! I started my weight loss journey in July of 2011 after my wedding- in which I was my heaviest at 175 (if not more) lbs! it has taken me almost a year and a half, but I am 30lbs lighter!! reach out to the members of this site- we are all fighting the same fight! Never give up on yourself! Feel free to add me (anyone who reads this!!) because I love to give and receive support!!

x_cinder_x

The hardest step for me was getting on that damn scale. It was also the best step since it started the motivation to change and keep changing. The scale keeps me honest. There are weeks the number goes up and it sucks, but those are also the weeks I know I slipped and its time to step up. When that number goes down after a week of honest work at it, it really shows me that
I'AM the one in control.
No matter what stage you are at love yourself. Know you are beautiful.
Good luck! You can do this!

tdunfee

Today is a new day and I have to learn to do better for myself and my kids. I have always put my family before me and this just is not working any more. I am not happy with what I have become. I can not enjoy life anymore. I feel tired all the time and find myself either eating or sleeping. I can not ever get outside to play with my kids anymore and this makes me sad. By the time I walk a short distance I am out of breath and worn out.

OddChoices

Been there and done that. After 5 years in a travelling job and having twins, my 120 lb frame bulked up to 186. I have lost almost 43lbs. It took 7 months and lots of work but its worth it.

First thing I did was calculate my BMR. I recalculate after every 10pound mark. I workout 5-6 days a week: a combination of cardio and strength training. The way I have changed my lifestyle, there is only one way the scale could go- Down..

Don't be disheartened. Think of how you will feel when you reach goal weight.

MegETorelli246

Hi! I am going through the exact same feelings you are speaking of- I am 5'2 and 150, and only two months ago I was at 125!! I got with my boyfriend, and also stopped caring so much about my appearance, let myself go, so to speak, and became extremely depressed. He is extremely thin and loses weight at the drop of a hat, and I feel so awkward and stumpy next to him. I have lost interest in hanging with friends, due to my embarrassment at my appearance, and become anti-social. I did join a gym, but due to lack of transportation it is often hard for me to get there- however, I am determined to change this, as well as bike there more often- but truthfully, it is really my eating habits that I need to get under control. When I become depressed, I have the tendency to binge eat, and I can't do this any longer. I have watched myself balloon out of control due to external circumstances and major life changes, and I need to stop using food as an addictive crutch. Due to being in extreme poverty at the time as well, it is sometimes hard to get healthy food- but that isn't truly an excuse, because a cheap salad isn't more expensive than a McDonalds Fish Filet meal It is a very slow process, and I am an impatient person, but I would love to meet others who want to lose 50 lbs or more, or who are struggling with the same situations- or even in the same area (Fort Lauderdale, FL)- as I. Just know you are not alone, and if you need someone to talk to, feel free to add me!

docnyto

Hi Giovanna and very good luck to you. I think you've taken a BIG step forward in really identifying the situation you are in, and identified why. Don't blame yourself entirely. That one line "I am broke" tells me some of why you may have gained: Fast food, cheaper foods are WAY, WAY more fattening than the healthier stuff. And more emotionally satisfying too. Even eating at home, lots of the things that are least expensive at the stores are the most fattening. So, find a copy of EAT THIS NOT THAT (seriously, I keep a copy in my car), and make the wiser choices in selecting food. No matter whether you are cooking at home or at fast food, there are some healthy options. Also, be sure to log EVERYTHING you eat into your myfitnesspal log. People who log all their food are less likely to eat too much.

I'm not even sure you need a gym. I used to be a gym rat and it didn't really do much but make me hungrier. I have a recumbant bicycle at home and I do that, log that. Also, you can just make sure you take a 30 to 60 minute walk daily that gets you up to a nice "sweat level." I find this is better to do alone, or with an mp3, than with a friend. When I do it with friends, I go slower and we slow down to talk.

As for clothes. When trying to lose, GoodWill and other thrift stores can be your best friend on a budget. You'll see lots of shoppers there driving new Mercedes and Jags, it is said "the best dressed people buy at GW" and I believe that. You can get like-new jeans for $5 or even less on 1/2 priced days. As you drop weight, you can buy the "in between" sizes there and then just donate them back when you move to lower sizes. No need to spend $35 to $225 for a pair of jeans. You'll find the same brands and sizes at GW. Lots of tops and other stuff there too. I was in line to a special event and had to ask one young lady where she'd gotten this gorgeous grey business look dress ... she told me Goodwill, $5. Hope you have a good one near you.

Lots of WATER ... that is free. Drink 20 oz when you get up in the morning, and have an apple right after that. Then drink 20 oz before every meal, another 20 oz before you shower or tub it, and 20 oz before going to bed. You'll be surprised at how much difference that will make.

Good luck. You've made a GREAT start by outlining where you are and why!

gothicfires

Remember yesterday is yesterday, today is what you make it. Don't beat yourself up about your past, even what you did five minutes ago. Look at where you are, note where you want to go and make the plan to get there and follow it. If you deviate from that plan. Stop take a look at where you are, note where you want to go and make a plan to get there.

being disappointed in yourself isn't going to help you. So don't allow that emotion and keep working for what you want.

AmberJo1984

I understand how you feel. I got up to the highest I had ever been, as well. 306. I lost 42 pounds almost immediately (a year and a half ago).... but, then gained 17 pounds back. I have now lost that 17 pounds ago... and am working on continuing my journey. I could always use more supportive friends as well. I'll send you a request.

karenpuch

Geo,
Do not be disheartened. Every day is a new day and a new start. You are now making positive changes and that's what counts. Don't be stuck on just a number, it is your health that is most important. Take one day at a time and realize that every step you make toward being healthy is better than not doing anything at all about it. Alot of little changes can make a big difference. It took a year for you to gain that weight so don't try to lose it all in one month. This is the first day of the rest of your life!

Verity1111

Hello everyone,

My name is Giovanna, I'm 25 years old and I have reached a new low (or high in terms of weight) in my life. I knew I had gained weight since dating my boyfriend and I haven't stepped on a scale in over a year, fearing whatever the result would be. Eating out more, getting a full time desk job and just not watching my health has taken its toll.
Last night at a friends, he was boasting how he bikes everywhere and has lost weight. He had a scale after prodding & prodding I said I would look, only if I could do so alone. My heart sank. And of course the digital display was huge and even thought my BF was standing feet behind me, I knew he saw. My heart sank again.

The heaviest I had ever been before yesterday was 190. I am now a little over 205lbs. That number scares me.

I started going to the gym two weeks ago about 45-60 min 3x a week. But I know that I have not changed my eating habits one bit. That will all be changing now. My family has a history of obesity, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc etc.

I am ashamed. I am angry. I was in denial. I am huge. I am broke so I can't buy clothes to fit my body so I look ridiculous. I feel that stress over money has only perpetuated my situation. THERE I GO MAKING EXCUSES. I alone am at fault for where I have landed with a thump. I should have taken my health more seriously. Now I will be.

I need help though. Please add me. I need a circle of friends to keep me going. To keep me motivated. And just some good old fashioned advise. If you have the time or want I will gladly accept anything I can get.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. It means the world to me. Thank you! --Gio

My advice is to love yourself no matter what because even though the scale says you need to be in shape, it does not say anything about who you are as a person. No need to be ashamed of yourself, just to know you need to start looking out for your health and happiness a lot more than you were. I live in Chicago too and I would love to add you! :] My name is Jolene. I think the best way to approach this is to not be disheartened, but to see it as a path to a better life and health (confidence & body !) than you ever knew. You should be excited because here you can meet new people, take new chances and get to know yourself better than you ever have known yourself.

P.S. I started here originally around 185lbs and actually after my second baby around 191, but I am down to 168lbs now. MFP can really help you, so please stick to it.

literatelier

The hardest part for me on this journey was getting up the courage to start it. Now that I have momentum it feels like everything just falls into place. I see small results and am re-motivated by them every time. There will always be hiccups along the way, but I find that this community keeps me tethered. As long as I log in everyday I know I'll succeed eventually; I just need to be patient.

I'm glad you're here - you've taken the first step! Feel free to add me.

gio425

Thank you so much for all of the kind words. This is exactly what I needed to hear today!!!

Lyssa62

feel free to add me and then I can introduce you to a group that a friend and I have formed.... we do daily challenges..we kick each other's *kitten* when needed.....etc

djsupreme6

We all have to face our biggest fears one day... And you did!!! Now that you know where you are, and where you don't want to be, it's time to start making small, meaningful changes, everyday of your life. If you feel comfortable in a gym, then you should really start using it 5-6 days a week and logging it everyday. Start with light cardio sessions, followed by light strength training... But you have to keep in mind that it didn't take you one week, one month, to gain the weight, and it's not going to be a fast process of getting it off. As long as you can face that battle, and win the WAR, you WILL achieve your goals!! MFP is a great way to keep yourself motivated too. People on here, who use this as a tool to get themselves in to shape with proper diet and exercise, are always willing to lend a helping hand. We are all here to achieve the same goals, whether it's 15 pounds or 115 pounds. I've received so much invaluable information on here, and it's helping change my life. Use it too!!

I just have to tell you this.... Eating out should be a luxury, and not something you do everyday. Although it's quick and easy, many restaurants just can't offer you wholesome foods with good ingredients, and portion control like you will need when wanting to lose weight. Don't starve yourself, but embrace the need for change, and try to cook most meals at home. Get your boyfriend involved (if he's willing) and ask that he help prepare foods and set the table, so you can both enjoy each other's company over a good, nutritious meal. I tell ya girl, it will significantly help in your weight loss goals.

Keep in mind though that you will need to encourage yourself when others around you can't, won't, or are jealous of your success... Use MFP every day if you can!!! People are cruel by nature when they are jealous of someone's success... Although it's a terrible thing to say, it's true, so just be prepared and know when to turn to a positive source for encouragement!!! You are a strong woman with a clear vision of what you want and don't want. Take the bull by the horns!!! You've got this!!

WOW!!!...this should be saved and kept for the future...great words that anybody can use...very impressive

sarahmotes

You can do it! You are only 25 and that is fantastic. You can reverse whatever damage, and get to a healthier place to enjoy your life. I have been fat, and lost weight before, and gained it back. I've got more than half of my 70 lbs. gone now, and I feel great. I think everyone is so different, and so much advice might work for one person but not for others. But there is one thing I believe in, and that's doing it from the inside out. When we work out there is so much pressure from others about whether we "see results." Have we lost weight yet? Do we look different? I want to encourage you to keep working out as something that you do for how it feels, first. We must enjoy our bodies because of how we feel, not because someone else thinks we look good. Feeling stronger, feeling lighter, being able to do more things inside the gym and out. Because results that others can see take a long time, I like to think of working out as the thing I do to feel good, so I can accept myself where i am today. After a workout I can think "I feel so good right now it doesn't matter what size I am." That is the feeling that is all yours, and it's nobody else's business how you look and whether you are a certain size or shape. I think a lot of us quit because we're not "seeing results," but the most important results need to be feeling better, and the rest will come.

Never give up. Persistence wins when everything else fails.

gio425

Hi Giovanna and very good luck to you. I think you've taken a BIG step forward in really identifying the situation you are in, and identified why. Don't blame yourself entirely. That one line "I am broke" tells me some of why you may have gained: Fast food, cheaper foods are WAY, WAY more fattening than the healthier stuff. And more emotionally satisfying too. Even eating at home, lots of the things that are least expensive at the stores are the most fattening. So, find a copy of EAT THIS NOT THAT (seriously, I keep a copy in my car), and make the wiser choices in selecting food. No matter whether you are cooking at home or at fast food, there are some healthy options. Also, be sure to log EVERYTHING you eat into your myfitnesspal log. People who log all their food are less likely to eat too much.

I'm not even sure you need a gym. I used to be a gym rat and it didn't really do much but make me hungrier. I have a recumbant bicycle at home and I do that, log that. Also, you can just make sure you take a 30 to 60 minute walk daily that gets you up to a nice "sweat level." I find this is better to do alone, or with an mp3, than with a friend. When I do it with friends, I go slower and we slow down to talk.

As for clothes. When trying to lose, GoodWill and other thrift stores can be your best friend on a budget. You'll see lots of shoppers there driving new Mercedes and Jags, it is said "the best dressed people buy at GW" and I believe that. You can get like-new jeans for $5 or even less on 1/2 priced days. As you drop weight, you can buy the "in between" sizes there and then just donate them back when you move to lower sizes. No need to spend $35 to $225 for a pair of jeans. You'll find the same brands and sizes at GW. Lots of tops and other stuff there too. I was in line to a special event and had to ask one young lady where she'd gotten this gorgeous grey business look dress ... she told me Goodwill, $5. Hope you have a good one near you.

Lots of WATER ... that is free. Drink 20 oz when you get up in the morning, and have an apple right after that. Then drink 20 oz before every meal, another 20 oz before you shower or tub it, and 20 oz before going to bed. You'll be surprised at how much difference that will make.

Good luck. You've made a GREAT start by outlining where you are and why!

HIGHLY INFORMATIVE AND UPLIFTING!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :flowerforyou:

kenazfehu

Hi! As you see, you have a lot of good people struggling right along with you. There are also some rather snotty people around here who will subtly and not so subtly put you down because you're not approaching your problem the same way they would. Learn what you can from them (and all of us) and forget the rest.

For a couple of decades, I bought into the idea that "diets don't work" and decided to eat when I was hungry and stop when I was full, and my body would settle into the weight that it was meant to be. Yeh - right. That must be around 300 pounds because every year my weight crept up a little more until I found myself stuffing myself to the point of misery every single day and reaching a high of 207 at only 5'6" tall. That's when I freaked out and decided to engage my brain. I've tried and discarded a lot of attempts since then (hours at the gym, weight watchers, etc) and am new to MFP. I also joined Bodybuilders.com because they have 12-week plans over there with day-by-day programs you can work to achieve fitness goals.

One thing I discovered that you might discover also is that overeating was covering up a lot of emotional issues. Since I stopped the overeating (better some days than others), I've been a bit of a mess. There's a lot of denial to dig through.

Anyway, best wishes! You'll find friends as well as drill sargents here.

recee96

You can do it! You have taken the first step...we will help you! I'm adding you as well.

cebreisch

You've had what I call a "defining moment". In March 2011, and in April 2011, I had 2 defining moments that I won't forget either. ONe of them was when I went to an immediate care center because I was sick. The scale I had at home at the time only went as high as 330, and I couldn't get a reading on it after a while, so I knew I was bigger than that, but didn't know how much. WHen I weighed at the immediate care center, I weighed 376. I couldn't believe I had let myself get to that point.

Then, in April, I went to "Moms and Muffins" day at school with my daughter. I was so out of shape and so big that I had to stop a few times on the way to the door just to catch my breath. When I finally got inside the door, I had to stop and sit down for about 10 minutes. I was so mortified and humiliated and embarrassed that that was when I decided something had to change.

Since then, I've lost 103 pounds. I would like to lose another 130, so I'm almost half way there.

The last thing you need to do is be down on yourself. And if you stray from where you wanted to be, you're only human!! As it says in "don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff" - make peace with imperfection. Accept that you're going to do things that are counterproductive to where you want to be. BUT, if you're making steps in the direction of where you want to be, you'll get there. Maybe not as fast as you'd like, but if you stay the course you'll get there.

I'd like to say that I've been perfectly perfect over the last 15 months that it's taken me to get this far, but that would be a huge lie. I've stumbled PLENTY. What keeps me going is knowing that I'm usually on track more than I stumble. So find things you're doing right. Find joy in that there are things you're doing that are pointing you in the right direction and you'll get there eventually.

You can do this. If I can do it, you can do it.

sdsurface

Just use the tools. Try posting everthing you eat. It makes such a huge difference to see where the wasted calories are. Don't be disheartened. Just keep on going forward. Change 1 thing a day. You can't do it all at once. Keep your chin up.

jsamuelian

I have been right where you are! You can and will make the changes in your life. Start small and push yourself. It is going to suck for quite a while but once you get in the routine of eating better and exercising (Running and Walking are excellent, and you get outside), you will find your body craving it like it used to crave doughnuts and pizza (not that you can't eat those anymore, just make them a VERY special treat).

Another good idea is signing up for something (race, event, etc) that gives you a purpose for exercising. Your friend loves to bike. Maybe you sign up for a bike ride or if you love to run/walk try a half or full marathon. There are lots of training programs that can help you.

I did TEAM in TRAINING and completed my first marathon last year. Now I run 4-6 times a week and have maintained my weight loss.

AGAIN YOU CAN DO IT!!

surromom2010

same thing happened to me! That's how I've gotten where I am to me. Let the anger feed your workouts and start with something that isn't to hard and work your way up. Don't set impossible goals that will discourage you and find something you enjoy to reward yourself with!

Verity1111

We all have to face our biggest fears one day... And you did!!! Now that you know where you are, and where you don't want to be, it's time to start making small, meaningful changes, everyday of your life. If you feel comfortable in a gym, then you should really start using it 5-6 days a week and logging it everyday. Start with light cardio sessions, followed by light strength training... But you have to keep in mind that it didn't take you one week, one month, to gain the weight, and it's not going to be a fast process of getting it off. As long as you can face that battle, and win the WAR, you WILL achieve your goals!! MFP is a great way to keep yourself motivated too. People on here, who use this as a tool to get themselves in to shape with proper diet and exercise, are always willing to lend a helping hand. We are all here to achieve the same goals, whether it's 15 pounds or 115 pounds. I've received so much invaluable information on here, and it's helping change my life. Use it too!!

I just have to tell you this.... Eating out should be a luxury, and not something you do everyday. Although it's quick and easy, many restaurants just can't offer you wholesome foods with good ingredients, and portion control like you will need when wanting to lose weight. Don't starve yourself, but embrace the need for change, and try to cook most meals at home. Get your boyfriend involved (if he's willing) and ask that he help prepare foods and set the table, so you can both enjoy each other's company over a good, nutritious meal. I tell ya girl, it will significantly help in your weight loss goals.

Keep in mind though that you will need to encourage yourself when others around you can't, won't, or are jealous of your success... Use MFP every day if you can!!! People are cruel by nature when they are jealous of someone's success... Although it's a terrible thing to say, it's true, so just be prepared and know when to turn to a positive source for encouragement!!! You are a strong woman with a clear vision of what you want and don't want. Take the bull by the horns!!! You've got this!!

That part about being jealous is so true lol! I just started a group for people around 5' (5'-5'6" or so) and I stated in my first post "I can't wait to be (jealous) inspired by your success" LOL