It's ok it's my birthday!

Sweet_Pandora

That's what I kept telling myself yesterday.

Seems I can talk myself into justifying a not so wise food choice or skipping a workout. Today I am asking myself why it is so hard to talk myself into making the right choices or getting in a workout or pulling out the food scale and paying attention to portion size.

In my house you get to chose your birthday dinner and cake. I had requested beef tenderloin with mushrooms in red wine sauce and a nice salad to keep the calories low as I was having desert. I chose a chocolate cheesecake with caramel sauce and sea salt.

I started my day off with good intentions a nice protein smoothie and I brought a homemade vegetable soup for lunch knowing I would be celebrating and indulging later in the day.

I was on the road yesterday and close to a place that makes the best chicken shwarma in the city. It's my birthday I said to myself and thought when was the last time I had a shwarma, it's ok.

When I returned to the office I walked by my boss' office and looked at his ju jube jar, something I never pay attention to as the thought of them makes my teeth hurt. Again I say to myself it's my birthday I will have a few, I'm having cake tonight anyway!

I got home and had some time to unwind and relax before dinner. Usually I change and go straight down to the gym and get my workout done before dinner. I have an injury and my PT told me no exercise this week. So I sat my *kitten* on the sofa and turned the t.v. on something that is pretty foreign to me. I got bored with the entertainment so I got up and went and got a handful of pecans, a great choice but it just didn't do it. Back to the cupboard I go and grabbed 2 squares of dark chocolate another wise choice I told myself and it's my birthday!

Dinner was delicious the steak melted in my mouth and the mushroom in wine sauce divine, the cake was freakin' amazing, caramel and sea salt on top of chocolate how could it not be. After half a bottle of wine and lovely dinner conversation I wanted another sliver of cake, it's my birthday after all! Of course I had to have something to wash it down with so out came another bottle of wine and......

-2057 calories over my 1200 calorie allowance. I couldn't believe it. I consumed 3,257 calories because it's my birthday! When I completed my food entry for the day I was floored that it said that if everyday was like today I would be 152 lbs in five weeks. That would be a 9 lb weight gain. That's how easy it is to put on weight.

I don't eat like this everyday but wow was a slap in the face that made me realize that it's ok to indulge but it's not ok to convince yourself you deserve it because....... and then keep telling yourself it's just one....I've been really good...... it won't hurt.....it's just a little taste......

Moderation is a word that I am trying to incorporate into my life.

Today is a new day and my lifelong healthiness quest continues. Another year older and a little wiser.

If staying on track was easy alot of us wouldn't be here!

If you are still with me thanks for taking the time I thought typing it all out might make it sink in a little deeper.

Thanks to all my MFP friends for your support and inspiration.

Karen