Purina Diet

Nikki_42
Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm at Wal-Mart buying a bag of Purina dog food for my dogs. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying all of this dog food, RIGHT???

So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in Intensive Care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's *kitten* and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied this so now it's your turn to copy and share and let someone else laugh.

Replies

  • garlic7girl
    garlic7girl Posts: 2,236 Member
    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so not believing you! Did she really get sucked in like that????? NOOOOOOOO!
  • castell5
    castell5 Posts: 234 Member
    Wow, whoever wrote that original story is probably overjoyed at seeing how many times it turns up! I've seen it twice on FaceBook and now here. Weird how some things "catch on"
  • RosaC773
    RosaC773 Posts: 126
    So, is the diet strictly dry food? What is your opinion of using wet food for this diet? :wink:
  • microwoman999
    microwoman999 Posts: 545 Member
    LMAO!!
  • chocolateandpb
    chocolateandpb Posts: 438 Member
    Wow, whoever wrote that original story is probably overjoyed at seeing how many times it turns up! I've seen it twice on FaceBook and now here. Weird how some things "catch on"

    I've never seen this story before but I just about pissed my pants laughing!!! One of my coworkers even came over to see if I was okay because the way I was gasping she thought I was crying. :laugh:
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    Oh my goodness.
    im still laughing.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    LMFAO. Reminds me of Bill Engvall's "here's your sign" standup routine.
  • tommygirl15
    tommygirl15 Posts: 1,012 Member
    Best thing I read all day...
  • daftdreamer
    daftdreamer Posts: 7 Member
    Too bad that actually didn't happen to you, that story has been floating around the internet for about the last year...
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member
    lol
  • Keiko385
    Keiko385 Posts: 514 Member
    Too bad that actually didn't happen to you, that story has been floating around the internet for about the last year...

    I laughed just as hard this time as a year ago..I can picture some of my friends doing this
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member

    I've never seen this story before but I just about pissed my pants laughing!!! One of my coworkers even came over to see if I was okay because the way I was gasping she thought I was crying. :laugh:

    Ditto! Read at work and my co-worker thought I was going nuts 'cause I couldn't stop laughing with tears in my eyes!
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member
    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so not believing you! Did she really get sucked in like that????? NOOOOOOOO!

    Gotta read all the way to the last line...:wink:
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Wow, whoever wrote that original story is probably overjoyed at seeing how many times it turns up! I've seen it twice on FaceBook and now here. Weird how some things "catch on"

    I know, I'm surprised the cashier hasn't heard it before. When I used to work at McDonalds, I heard all the same "jokes" over and over again. Usually I wasn't in the mood for it as my job entailed getting yelled at by homeless people and anal businessmen all day.
  • Ruthe8
    Ruthe8 Posts: 423 Member
    Too bad that actually didn't happen to you, that story has been floating around the internet for about the last year...
    The last year? This is older than the internet.
  • Ruthe8
    Ruthe8 Posts: 423 Member
    Wow, whoever wrote that original story is probably overjoyed at seeing how many times it turns up! I've seen it twice on FaceBook and now here. Weird how some things "catch on"

    I know, I'm surprised the cashier hasn't heard it before. When I used to work at McDonalds, I heard all the same "jokes" over and over again. Usually I wasn't in the mood for it as my job entailed getting yelled at by homeless people and anal businessmen all day.
    What cashier??
  • meeka472
    meeka472 Posts: 283 Member
    I literally just saw this on Facebook about 5 minutes before reading this post.
  • ChildrenCryinNCoffee
    ChildrenCryinNCoffee Posts: 477 Member
    LMFAO. Reminds me of Bill Engvall's "here's your sign" standup routine.

    I was TOTALLY thinking the SAME thing!! LOL

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