Girls at the Gym

sarahisme18

I was at the gym after work yesterday, and overheard a few girls (probably 8-12 years old?) coming in from swimming practice and taking turns weighing themselves. One of the girls was a few years older, and a little taller than the other two, but you could tell she was very athletic. The two younger girls were laughing and screaming about the fact that she'd weighed in at 90 pounds. They couldn't believe it! That was crazy. One of the girls even said, oh, but she's older... but it was still crazy to them.

I was just really sad for that girl because 1) 90 pounds at 8-12 years old is totally acceptable and normal, 2) she had no reason to compare to the other two, both because of age, and because of many other factors, and 3) she was clearly the stronger and more athletically accomplished than the other two.


Hopefully she can understand that now rather than later in life after the damage has taken its toll—but I also realized that this is something I could learn from too. Because how many times have I compared myself when I shouldn't be, and when I have so much to be proud of in terms of what I am capable of physically. We need to take a step back every once in awhile to see ourselves in a more accurate light.





And.... if I ever have kids, definitely going to make sure they know to keep their mouths shut about others' weight/size/whatever!

VelociMama

As a mom-to-be, this saddens me.

I have 4 younger brothers, and I know they have also struggled with body issues.

geekyjock76

If she has support from her family and friends, she can avoid peer pressure to engage in disordered eating or adopting a negative body image. I have a very athletic eleven yr old niece and my sister and I have already educated her on the marriage between proper calorie intake and strength training to ensure she performs at her best and adequately strengthen her body as she matures.

sarahisme18

Kids are so bombarded with false expectations of weight and body size.... it made me sad too. I kind of wish I'd pulled her aside and told her that she was awesome and not to listen to them!

sarahisme18

If she has support from her family and friends, she can avoid peer pressure to engage in disordered eating or adopting a negative body image. I have a very athletic eleven yr old niece and my sister and I have already educated her on the marriage between proper calorie intake and strength training to ensure she performs at her best and adequately strengthen her body as she matures.

That is so awesome. Like I said, she was clearly very athletic, so I hope that she has proper support in her life---if not from friends and family, at least from the gym staff, who I know are really great!

geekyjock76

If you ever see her again, give her some encouraging feedback. It just may be the first time anyone's complimented her in such a way.

Audiejude

I can really relate to that girl. I've always been tall and lanky. We did a weigh in in first grade and the teacher announced our weight out loud. I weighed the most, because I had hit my growth spurt first and people laughed. I hope her parents talk to her.

EDesq

I hope she can get sage advice from her mother and hopefully coach. I know many young women who are very much scorned by their "mother" at that age for being overweight. Frankly, I have a niece who is 12 y.o. very nicely shaped and weighs 100 lbs. Her "mother" leads the way in putting her down about her weight and shape. My two nephews have followed suit by making fun of her too. I'm an "out cast" because I do not agree with my sister's way of raising her kids. I feel sorry for My niece...Truthfully, those girls probably got their attitude and ideas from their mothers. To rear half way decent kids these days really require vigilance, the messages that kids get today from all directions are HARD!

Roboartist

If you ever see her again, give her some encouraging feedback. It just may be the first time anyone's complimented her in such a way.

Agreed! Reflecting back compliments that focus on achievements and strength can go a long way.

I hear a lot of things from my 11 year old daughters friends that sound more like words from their mothers, it is disturbing at times. I appreciate that my daughters gymnastics coach concentrates on teaching the girls more about tracking their skill improvements, noticing improvements in endurance and the importance for them to keep hydrated and well fed. She talks about nutrition and paying attention to your body's signals for hunger.

VelociMama

If you ever see her again, give her some encouraging feedback. It just may be the first time anyone's complimented her in such a way.

I agree.

Unsolicited compliments from strangers can really do a lot of good.

eatrainsmile

These are kids. They make fun of anything. Your grades, your weight, your hair, the way you dress. Its not something to be exaggerated in my opinion but yes families should teach their children not to judge others in a rude way whatever the topic is. Its upsetting to call a person stick thin or fat. She may have body issues when she gets older.

I had a collegue some years ago. This 40 year old guy was always telling his daughter who was 12 years old not to eat junk food. But he was telling it like this. "Dont eat hamburgers, dont drink soda, you'll be fat like your mom". Not to mention that he was a single dad. I heard those words a few times and one day I couldnt keep my mouth shut. I said "is this the way to teach your daughter to eat healthy? Do you want her to be aneroxic or bulimic as she gets older? Just because you like skinny girls, your daughter has to be one? Teach her how to eat healthy, how to be an active person. Dont call her mom fat. Dont tell her she'll be fat like her mom" annnddd I am so glad I have changed things. The girl started rowing. I havent seen them for some time but recently he called me and said "My daughter wanted me to call you. She wants to show you her muscles. She says she has arms like you:) "

TimeWarp9

These are kids. They make fun of anything. Your grades, your weight, your hair, the way you dress. Its not something to be exaggerated in my opinion but yes families should teach their children not to judge others in a rude way whatever the topic is. Its upsetting to call a person stick thin or fat. She may have body issues when she gets older.

I had a collegue some years ago. This 40 year old guy was always telling his daughter who was 12 years old not to eat junk food. But he was telling it like this. "Dont eat hamburgers, dont drink soda, you'll be fat like your mom". Not to mention that he was a single dad. I heard those words a few times and one day I couldnt keep my mouth shut. I said "is this the way to teach your daughter to eat healthy? Do you want her to be aneroxic or bulimic as she gets older? Just because you like skinny girls, your daughter has to be one? Teach her how to eat healthy, how to be an active person. Dont call her mom fat. Dont tell her she'll be fat like her mom" annnddd I am so glad I have changed things. The girl started rowing. I havent seen them for some time but recently he called me and said "My daughter wanted me to call you. She wants to show you her muscles. She says she has arms like you:) "


Awesome!

dad106

I work with teenagers, and I had one last week ask me if I thought she was fat.. and of course my answer was No, but I doubt she believed me.

I was always the taller, chunkier one of my peers... and I was ok with it. Even now as I'm losing weight, I'm concerned about going below a certain size and weight.

Shannonpurple

I would have walked up to those little girls and pushed them on the ground...HUMH