New & Ashamed.

mdonovan

You should read "Women Food and God", it helps address exactly what you've described. That and stick with MFP, it's such a great motivator, seeing what you've eaten/burned, and seeing other people go through it an succeed. You have to start somewhere, it can be done!

TexasTroy

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with just a single step." You've made that step, now just keep putting one foot in front of the other:) This site is great and yes, has some great people on it. We are glad to have you here and taking the chance to change your life. It wont be easy but we are all here to help support you and each other. Add me if you would like....anyone can add me if you like. We all need support and a lil swift kick in the booty from time to time.

kenazfehu

I know it's a lot to lose, but you can start making positive changes this very minute.

I would recommend that you set yourself a meal schedule and stop eating between meals. Doing that before I found MFP took 9 pounds off me in one month.

The hard part - keep going through slip-ups and binges. Every meal you have to get back on track.

Yesterday I had a terrible day. I got home tired and hungry and started carving pumpkins with my daughter and snacking.

Today it's back onto my meal plan. I think we all have slip-ups and have to forgive ourselves and move on. It's not the slip-up that will destroy your efforts, it's the giving up.

SkinnyFattoo

Hello and welcome! There is nothing to be ashamed about. EVERYONE has different issues and struggles in their lives, it sounds like you're struggling with this. But the great part is that you can change this particular aspect of yourself that you're not happy with! Many people unfortunately can't change the issues they're dealing with. If I were you, the first thing I'd do is visit a caring, supportive medical doctor to point you in the direction of the best weight loss method for you. He or she could probably help you with your depression also. Don't feel like a failure because you're suffering from depression...you'd be amazed how many people around you appear to be high functioning but are clinically depressed. Good luck, best wishes, and don't be too hard on yourself. You are not alone on this journey Hugs to you.

yggdrasill2005

I also am ashamed and have 130 lbs to lose. Not so young anymore. Been at it all my life. I do believe that counting calories and exercising is the way to go. I should know. I've tried EVERY diet out there. Only when I exercised religiously and monitored my portions did I lose and keep it off.

You can do it...but it won't happen overnight. I'll friend you so can keep in check.

yggdrasill2005

I also am ashamed and have 130 lbs to lose. Not so young anymore. Been at it all my life. I do believe that counting calories and exercising is the way to go. I should know. I've tried EVERY diet out there. Only when I exercised religiously and monitored my portions did I lose and keep it off.

You can do it...but it won't happen overnight. I'll friend you so can keep in check.

bulbadoof

I am so, so, so happy for you.

I did exactly what you are doing right now, two or three years ago. 294 lbs at 5'3". At 21 years old, my doctor told me my age was the only thing keeping me safe from serious health complications. I was tired and everything felt like a huge effort, I suffered chronic headaches, I couldn't find clothes that fit me no matter how hard I tried, I never left the house if I could help it, and I was absolutely miserable.

Today, I am about 145 lbs and I feel better than I ever have. I've lost more than my current body weight in total and completely changed my life.

My biggest piece of advice is to take lots of pictures. I used to hide from the camera at my heaviest, so now I have nothing to look back on and say "this is how far I've come" on a bad day - that's probably my biggest mistake.

You can add me if you like! I know exactly where you've been and I know a fair amount about how to cut corners on calories without cutting out the foods you love. :flowerforyou: Don't be so hard on yourself, it only gets better from here! You have a lot to look forward to.

JesterMFP

Welcome! :flowerforyou: Honestly, the best piece of advice I can think of to give you is to lose the shame. Feeling ashamed about the situation you're in is not going to help you. From your words, it sounds like it's fair to say that you're a person that uses food to make yourself feel better. Join the club! You'll find lots of use here! Thing is, feelings of guilt and shame are all part of it, and they will play no part in your success. You're a human being, and you have worth, no matter what you way, and no matter how much you eat. Eating so much that you become overweight does not make you a bad person. Everyone has ways of coping with the ups and downs of life and unfortunately, lots of us develop unhealthy ways of coping (if not food, then alcohol, drugs, nicotine, compulsive gambling etc etc). The good news is, you can learn other ways to cope, so that you're not relying on eating so much. You can definitely do this.

Losing weight will, hopefully, help you with feelings of self-esteem. Learning to do new things that you never thought you could do will also help. The bad news is, feeling "good enough" isn't something that just magically happens once you lose weight. Low self esteem and insecurities will stay with you, unless you work on them from the inside out.

Depression is a b*tch. It's not an "excuse" for getting overweight (which I'm, sure you know!) but it does make it a whole lot harder to make healthy choices. I don't know if you're getting treatment, but if you're really struggling - please don't be scared to get help. That is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and if you get the right treatment (whether medication, or an alternative like counselling) then it might be the boost that would help you. I've found that lots of exercise, good nutrition, and improving my confidence have all helped me fight depression.

Like others have said, take baby steps. It doesn't matter if you can only walk ten minutes before you've had enough - walk for ten minutes! Then do it again tomorrow. Then try 11 or 12 minutes. You're not in competition with anyone else, only yourself. If you really want this, then you can achieve it. It's not going to be easy, but it will be so worth it.

warmheart050

good for u:) dont be ashamed:) stay strong u can do it

kimad

Welcome

I just want you to know that you aren't alone. You have come to the right place for support.

Alot of us on this site have had or still have alot of weight to lose, we can relate to you on so many levels, but tell yourself this -- time is going to pass anyways. The days are going to go by and we may as well do something positive with that time.

Think this - this time next year I can be 50-100lbs lighter, or I can be 30 lbs heavier and miserable. Which do you prefer? Time is going to pass, make the most of that time, and you will get there. Take it day per day, otherwise it is too freaking overwhelming. I can say this with 100% certainty. I can.

You can do this, you need to believe in yourself. I believe in you

EdTheGinge

You're on the right path and in the right place now, people here will support you and motivate you towards your goals. Turn those negatives into positives, every time you feel like giving up just think back to how you feel now.

We're all guilty of letting it get out of hand so you're not alone

Latiffany31

Good Luck to you! This a a great place to start.

tralaf

Good luck! I also need to lose alot of weight (105 lbs to go)! This site is the greatest, people are generally very nice and helpful. I lost over 65 lbs before, so I know how well this site can help. Friend me if you want. Tracy

JosephVitte

You are beautiful............you just want to lose weight. I think a good piece of advice to remember that you did not gain all this weight over night, nor will you lose it over night. I feel if you just start with the little things, you will get results faster than you think, just not all 100 plus pounds, right away. Log your food, study the areas you are going "over" in. Pay attention when you go to the store, look at the labels. The biggest obstacle might be getting over the fear of it all. I am over weight, per say, although I don't feel like it too much, but I even at first had a bit of a complex about checking labels at the store. Part of me thought "these people probably are wondering what I'm doing checking labels"........and the other part of me say's "fu*k them"............I'm doing this for me. And by doing this for me, I've already lost more than 10 lbs in less than a month. True, I've started to exercise as well, but you need to start with something. I think logging your food and actually taking note of the "feedback" it gives you, will give you a tremendous start. Just remember to be honest with yourself, and do your best to log everything as best you can, accurately. You might be pleasantly surprised in what you see start to happen.


The best for you!

tabithaskechak

welcome! I'm fairly new to the site as well, I don't have a very small goal, but what has helped me so far is just making sure I keep track of everything I eat, it's ok to have a cheat meal every once in a while if you're really craving something, just make sure it's not an every day thing! Take it slow, it's not going to happen over night but when you see results it will keep you motivated to keep up exactly what you're doing! Some days you won't feel like getting up and doing whatever workouts you chose, but you just have to take a look in the mirror, remind yourself what you want and of your goal and make yourself motivated to get out and do it! You can definitely do it and you have tons of support right here to help you get through every step of the way and every struggle you encounter. I wish you the best of luck!!

gazelleintraining

So glad you took the first step to see what tools you have to help you get where you want to go. My best advice for you is to simply get started as soon as possible, and what I mean by that is set your calorie limit and stick within in no matter what. For me, that mean the first two weeks I was tired, grouchy, depressed, anxious, and angry--but pushing beyond it, you'll see how temporary those feelings really are and get a sense of strong self-control that is wonderful. Once you get there, you're on your way! I highly recommend starting with a small weekly loss to start, and make sure that you immediately begin exercising--whatever you can do--because it will help create endorphins (feel-good chemicals) that the overeating used to. exercise videos are great because you can do them in the home and take as many breaks as you need to get through them. Walking outside is also fantastic because you can go at your own pace. Welcome to the journey!

ggsmamma

Everyone else has already siad what I wanted to say but I wanted to reiderate how great it is that you are facing this head on while you are young. Imagine waiting until you are 45 or older -- you have your whole life ahead of you and you deserve to get out there and live it! Run on a beach or dance until dawn -- you deserve to be active and able to make the most of your life.

sa11yjane

Your post title drew me in as it made me feel sad. I really feel for you yet I also empathise with the feelings that you have about yourself. It's so hard when you hate what you see in the mirror, isn't it? Yet it seems like such an impossibly long journey...but I would take strength from knowing that you are ready to change. Try not to look at the bigger picture but start to make small sustainable changes. Focus on the things that you can do and don't stress over the bigger things that you can't do. Try not to be mad at yourself or to hate yourself; consider all your good qualities and find things about yourself that you like in order to try and feel more positive about yourself overall. Apart from the obvious (overeating) I wonder if you have spent time considering how you have got where you are. Are you lonely? Bored? Unhappy? In an unfulfilling relationship? Can you do anything to change any of these?
Hopefully you have a good friend who can support and encourage you as you start this journey? There are certainly an amazing number of wonderful people on here with whom you can link up. I'm beginning to realise why I overeat and why I'm in such bad physical shape and, whilst it's too late to change the real issue, I have to make the decision to stop allowing this reason to ruin my life. But it's hard.
Well done you for being brave and confronting your weight problem. All the very best with your weight loss journey xxx

soulfulsally

First of all, there is a lot more to you than your size. Remember that! Secondly, you are here now and making a change for the better. Keep your mind focused on the good things. You can do this! MFP is great for accountability and support.

mem50

Was new and ashamed once myself.

Now.....nope. It took me three years to get to the point I am. I set the mini goals because the big picture was just to much for me to take in.

I did not gain the weight overnight and once I got it though my head it was not going to go away overnight I started doing better. I joined a health club and did swimming and water arobics every day. Had to force myself to go most of the time but I did it. I felt better after I got going and it did get easier. I went for just a pound or less a week.

Just start with the basics. Try not to keep junk food in the house. Move as much as you can. Portion control was my best friend. Got a good food scale yet? That was and still is my other best friend. Then I have all my wonderful MFP friends that have been there for me and to cheer me on. Logging my food showed me so much.

If you have any questions you can PM me anytime.