A boyfriend's role in dieting

Options
2»

Replies

  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Options
    I would love to be 25 pounds less, and that has been my goal. So I don't know whether to take it as a swift kick of motivation or an insult. I know he will be supportive along the way, granted he has nothing to lose himself.

    I wouldn't take it as an insult if you agree with him.
    That is just how I personally feel, but I am not too sensitive about those sort of things.

    Just make sure that you are doing it for yourself. Make sure YOU are happy before anyone else!

    Yea, I have to agree with this. Some women are really quick to jump at tearing apart a man's statement. In reality, most men probably don't mean anything by it and don't realize they've said something offensive.
  • Sailatsorf
    Sailatsorf Posts: 161 Member
    Options
    My boyfriend always says, "I think you are hot how you are, but do whatever makes you happy. Being healthy is never a bad thing." He also often reminds me to go to the gym so that I don't get mad at myself for not going later.

    That said, not all men are that articulate. I think he was probably trying to tell you that your goal is reasonable or something, and it came out all wrong. Two months is too soon to really know for sure what kind of person he is. Let him know immediately and gently if something he says offends you. Don't attack, just say, "That hurt my feelings a little because..." If he keeps being a jerk, then you'll figure it out soon enough.
  • jessicataylor2
    jessicataylor2 Posts: 150
    Options
    I think that's really rude of him. My boyfriend tells me all the time that I shouldn't be losing weight and that he loves my body. He tells me I would even look better if I gained some weight. Also, if I did ever get to a point where I started to look bad and was unhealthy he said that he would never say anything mean but he might ask me to come to the gym with him more often haha. Basically you should find a guy that loves you and supports you, but wouldn't be mean.

    Unless that is that you've specifically told him you want to lose 25 lbs so he was trying to help? But with your unhealthy past he shouldn't have said that. I have the same past so my boyfriend is always trying to make sure I'm eating enough and not really losing anything. He just wants me to love myself, as most SOs should.
  • Michaelsdin
    Michaelsdin Posts: 146
    Options
    From your profile picture I don't see a problem really....you look great there.

    He could just be being honest and yes if only 2months he would have to go if he had a problem with you, my wife is about your size i am 6'3 344lbs i wouldn't change a thing about her other than her not eating healthy she can keep a steady weight and eat junk food kills me lol. If i said that to her she would send me to the couch in a heartbeat....now if she asked me a question i would be honest with her. So if you have ever said something about it and he is bringing it up should of been a little more thought into that lol.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Options
    Hm...this is really kind of a tough one...I would be offended, too, honestly, but did he say it AFTER you said it, or after you started your weight loss effort? Or was it just out of the clear blue sky? Is he a fitness buff? His heart could have honestly been in the right place, meaning to encourage you, but he expressed it all the wrong way, or he could be a *kitten* bent on either changing your or making you feel bad about yourself. Talk it out with him. Give him a chance to explain. If you don't get a satisfactory answer, or he is a repeat offender even after you have told him how it makes you feel, then kick him to the curb. Otherwise, give him another chance.
  • keithmustloseweight
    keithmustloseweight Posts: 309 Member
    Options
    Oh OP I think you might have a jerk boyfriend

    I mean if he doesn't agree with what you are doing he must clearly be a jerk, and if he does agree with what you are doing he is clearly a jerk.
  • SophieSLP
    SophieSLP Posts: 107 Member
    Options
    Oh OP I think you might have a jerk boyfriend

    I mean if he doesn't agree with what you are doing he must clearly be a jerk, and if he does agree with what you are doing he is clearly a jerk.

    I think he is a jerk, you are right. Especially because he just told me that big fake boobs would go great with my little body. Where are all the good guys!? I just want one! Is that so much to ask?!
  • vvanm
    vvanm Posts: 157
    Options
    If you feel he is trying to change you it is a deal breaker.
  • meganrpelican
    meganrpelican Posts: 51 Member
    Options
    Any man who tells you that you would look better any way other than the way you are is the wrong man. As far as your weight is concerned, i am also 5'3" and the goal weight that i have set for myself is right around what you weigh. By no means do you need to lose weight. There are plenty of fish in the sea, release that one before you waste anymore time.
  • JennPrebs
    JennPrebs Posts: 111 Member
    Options
    Seems like something that shouldn't be talked about that early in the relationship, I would be so offended I don' t think I would stay with some one that seems that shallow,but then again I an super sensitive. Comments like that this early on, seem like a road to disaster.
  • clarebrad
    clarebrad Posts: 188 Member
    Options
    hmm, i would be not happy at all. Looking at your stats and your pic i think you look pretty great, and only going out for 2 months. Really think that was rude of him and really not called for personally. Is that your puppy in your pic , stick to him or her, dogs love you just the way you are,
  • gazelleintraining
    gazelleintraining Posts: 107
    Options
    I dated a very similar dude for about the same time frame and was on my last date with him when I met my now-husband. They were like night and day. This guy sounds like a bad match for you based on what you've shared. Two months is a small sunk cost; forget about your investment in him. If you invest in the wrong guy, he will bankrupt your heart and life because you won't even be aware of better opportunities for happiness around him and you'll spin your wheels flogging yourself, trying to figure out why he doesn't like you enough. Bottom line? Red flag raised when someone you've known for two months is suggesting you drop 25 and get a boob job to make him happy. "He's just not that into you," emotionally, anyway. NEXT.
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    Options
    If I had never mentioned my goals or plans, I would be pissed. There's no reason for him to bring that up.

    If I had mentioned that I would like to lose 25lbs, or had spoken about MFP and / or losing weight, I'd take it as his attempt to motivate me, and not be pissed off at all. (unless he said negative things about the way I look right now)

Categories