In need of motivation after miscarrage

MrsWonderland

Emotionally I think I am ok, but I just dont feel good anymore. I had been doing really good, I had lost 10lbs and felt so good. I didnt want to quit, but 3weeks ago had my 4th miscarrage and I really thought I would get through it and start working out and eating right again. I thought I would be ok, but now I am eating everything I shouldnt and no energy or care to get up and work out. I dont want to be like this I want to feel good again. I havent logged on here much since and when I do I dont log what I have eaten (too afraid to, I guess). I need to get my mind set again, but just dont know how. I still only drink water no pepsi and thats my only saving grace.

I know my babies are in Heaven, happy and waiting for me someday. I've given up on the idea of having my husband's child someday. Its only a dream, but I feel I am getting to old to start new with a baby. I have a 13yr old and that can be hard enough. lol
I just need to get back into eating right and working out. I need to start going back to the gym, dont want it to be a waste of money.
So where to begin and what to do, Just Do It isnt working for me.

Poods71

I'm really sorry to hear about your miscarriages, I know how horrible it is. You may be feeling a bit depressed just now and maybe seeing a councilor to talk things over would help. I know it did me the world or good just talking to someone you don't know and getting everything off your chest (sometimes you feel like you don't want to burden family all the time).

With the exercise you could start slowly with walks and things and it might give you a better frame of mind and more energy to think about doing a bit more. You could just start logging again just to give yourself an idea what you are eating and it might give you some ideas where you could tweak things a little to make it healthier again.

Take things slowly and take care of yourself is the most important thing :flowerforyou:

Feel free to add me as a friend if you like.

And good luck x

kimothy38

Hun you are still recovering emotionally and physically so be easy on yourself. I really feel for you. Our friends went through 5 miscarriages before they finally got the baby they'd been trying for. I admire your unwavering determination to go through such a traumatic event repeatedly. Celebrate your achievements even if its only something small like drinking water. Those little achievements will add up.

jenilla1

Three weeks ago is really recent. Give yourself time to grieve. I think it's good that you are already looking to the positive side of things - the child you do have, getting in shape, etc. Probably one of the best things you can do is set some new exciting goals for the future. Get back into exercise as soon as you are able. It will really help to lift those low spirits. I know the lack of energy makes you feel like not doing anything, but it's a vicious cycle. Feeling tired leads to inactivity which leads to feeling even worse and making you even less likely to exercise.

Start small with simple goals that are easily achievable and then build from there. Don't try to do everything at once. It's just too overwhelming. Maybe try a group fitness class - I like yoga myself. And if you think it would help, therapy might be an option for you, too. :flowerforyou:

hanniejong

I agree with Poods, it helps to talk to someone you don't know. I miscarried twice and the things people said to me were not nice. Whether you are far along or not it is still a real wrench and you do grieve for this baby you have lost and it takes awhile to get beyond that.

I think you need to take the time to grieve, stay on track as best you can and maybe go for some nice long walks it helps too and that in turn means you are getting some exercise as well.

I really feel for you because I know exactly what you are going thru.

monicuza

I was really touched by your message and I wish you all the happiness in the world. I can't even imagine what you've been through. It looks as though you are now looking to the future, which is amazing.

Perhaps go for walks, hand in hand with your husband? I do that twice a week and the walks get longer and longer. It's not only a lovely way to spend time together but you will not believe how the calories will just burn and burn...Been doing this for a couple of months and it's something we do at least once a week, almost like a date. It's lovely!

I also pay for the gym but find it really boring so I'm waiting for my contract to end, while still keeping fit with walks. Most importantly...enjoy it. Don't stress about doing long hard workouts, they take their toll.

Good luck and if you need a friend, add me too.

xx

SarahtheJillianfanatic

I am so sorry for your losses.

Please be kind to yourself, is all I can say. XXX

bathsheba_c

That sucks. Something that works when I'm feeling especially down is to go outside for a walk. The exercise and the fresh air help me tackle my feelings with a clearer head.

supplemama

I have had a few miscarriages in my life also. The last one was a few years ago and a complete nightmare. I said never again, with 3 living children I am more than lucky and blessed. You need to make sure you are getting plenty of rest, and allow your body to recover. It took over 2 months for me to physically feel normal after the last one.

Maybe start with walking. Just take a walk every day, don't try to push yourself as far as speed is concerned. Then after awhile, maybe two weeks or so, start picking up steam.

mscolleen2003

I guess my question to be is "what do you expect of yourself", you lost a child, your going to be depressed, YOUR NORMAL. Here is the thing to focus on. You cannot change the past, you have a husband and child that need you healthy. I am not scolding you in anyway, I just don't want you to think there is something wrong with you. Dec 8th 2011 I lost my best friend. Thirty five years we talked on the phone everyday. My other close friend Becky kept telling me the same thing, you will get through this. On February 22 she was on her way to my home, I talked to her a 4:00pm and a 5:00 pm she suffered a brain aneurysm and passed away. I sank into a depression that I believed (as did my husband) that I would never come out of. One day he said to me "either get on a medication or get off your butt and start moving around" I was so angry with him I stormed out of the house and walked two miles. That afternoon I realized that the depression was better, so I walked that evening and the next morning and after about two weeks I actually started to feel human again. Try to get some form of exercise every day, does not have to be much, just something. Talk about it, make sure that those close know what is going on in your head, very important. If you need someone to talk to, message me and I would be happy to listen to you. I am so sorry for your loss. Time really does heal. Colleen

MrsWonderland

Ladies thank you all for your kind words. Each of you touched me so very much. I wish it wasnt so cold and rainy so I could go on a walk with my husband, I know your all right that a walk would do me a world of good. I got on my scale today and it wasnt as bad as I thought, actually it was pretty good. Before I started my flow I was back up to 216lbs. now that I am done its 209lbs. I know the body fluxuates but I didnt know it could be that much. lol

I would be happy to have each of you as friends on this journey so if you would like send me a request. I feel for those that have been through their own loss as well. Again thank you.

mscolleen2003

You will survive this, I promise. Let me know what I can do to help.