huge rant

alymarphi

I just have to complain and get it off my chest my motivations are mostly negative. When I am trying to motivate myself to exercise I don’t think about my health, happiness or being a good example for my children. I feel like I have to prove something:grumble:
I think about my mother who is 44, 5 7 and 130lbs. She had 2 kids and not 1 stretch mark on her belly. She only gained 15- 20 lbs with each kid. She always talks about how my kids are chunky like me… and they have chubby legs like me… She also mentioned the other day that I have to be careful or I will be over weight like my dad:noway: … My dad is only 20 lbs over weight
I think about my sister in-law who graduated with me… She is like 5’3 and sooo thin with a huge bubble butt not to mention she is beautiful. Prize position of her family it gets irritating they talk about how great she is constantly!:explode:
My 2 best friends are both a size 3:indifferent: .
I am 5’11 and 155lbs I am in a healthy weight range I don’t understand why I have to look like a model to be happy :sad:

EmilyStrick

i feel ya, sisterita!!!

stacyoct19

Wow! I can understand your frustration. Although we want to do it for ourselves, it's the fact that you're hearing the negativity around you that makes you want to do it for other reasons! Girl, I don't know how to get your head wrapped around this, but just walk with your head held high. Be proud of yourself. Don't let anyone else bring you down or beat you up. We can do that enough to ourselves. I noticed your ticker says you've lost 26 lbs! I can't believe they aren't going on and on about your success so far. That's not easy. But then again, if they don't have to work at it, then they would never understand. Remember, this is your journey! This is your character. You are building a strong and beautiful you! There are a lot unhealthy thin model looking people out there!

Keep up the good work girl!!

SarahJayRigdon

Tall girls unite! I am also 5'11" and you ARE at a healthy weight for your height, which is what I am working toward. Keep your chin up and you won't even see the people below you trying to bring you down. lol!

president1

Hey girlfriend Try this thought. You don't have to be model material to be happy, but ideally you would like to loose a little weight. As far as motivation goes....... Can you take yourself back when you aced a test because you studied real hard, or you won a price for coming in first place. You ran a race you thought you could never do. Seriously take a moment and think about it. There has to be a time in your life when you felt like you were on cloud nine from something you had done for yourself that you really wanted. The job interview and you got the job? Something your were elated about that you did for you!
Now if that feels great and it should, then just think what deniying yourself that cake, dinner out, drink, will feel like if you get past day one. You reached your goal one day and you can go to sleep feeling rewarded and proud. Elated....One day at at a time.
Now to get that feeling that motivates with passion, remember how good you will feel saying no to yourself today, because after all your hard work you will sayYES! I did it when you reach your goal.

bennettv

At 5'11" and 155 lbs you're pretty close to fabulous. I'd take pretty close to fabulous over perfect any day!

PrincessSaraMarie88

Awww...I am sorry.

Why do people only focus on the "skinny" (acceptable) models? There is such a thing as plus size models...and they embrace themselves. Society can be so cruel and VERY misleading.

Look at these girls: Society calls them "PLUS size", I call them pretty!

http://23.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kvthulU4yI1qzb7v8o1_500.jpg
http://www.plussizepatty.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/whitney-thompson-g.jpg

There are too many "stereotypes" and labels for things in this world. There is a difference between 110lbs and 210lbs. One person is, indeed, skinner than the other. Those are facts.

We as women should just want to be healthy and take care of ourselves. I personally want to be thinner. HOWEVER, I do not want to loose my butt or my boobs. I like curves. I just don't want a belly bulge. I want a flat tummy!

Keep looking up...Take the time to figure out what YOU want and who YOU want to be and the way YOU want to look.

I wish you the best!

faithstephenson

I understand how frustrating that can tbe:) Just remember that you don't have live up to other people's expectations. Being healthy is what matters. It might not help, as some people just don't want to hear it, but you might consider explaining to your mom what your goals are, and how those are appropriate for your height and build.

bellinachuchina

I feel your pain!

I am constantly bombarded with skinny pictures of my cousins on Facebook. To me, they take it to another level, like the bony zone, probably b/c they idealize anorexic high fashion models. Those girls look hungry & sad to me! And it doesn’t help when family members have things to say. My Grandma has always complained about me being over weight & praised them for their bodies, the products of unhealthy tendencies…

Sometimes, even today, after losing almost 100lbs, I can look at my cousins’ recent pics, no curves or bulge in sight, and feel a little hopeless. As if I’m still not good enough. But then I take a quick trip back to reality, and realize I had two children (they are childless), I gained a lot of weight, and worked damn hard to lose it! I’m good. I am finally comfortable with my size, curves, stretch marks and all …Oh, and I can still enjoy food!

I am 5’2, 147lbs., & I would kill for your height! Your stats sound perfect! There comes a time when you have to totally filter out the bull that people say to you, & even sometimes put them in their place, to let them know you don’t appreciate the things they say. Maybe I’m just a confrontational, Italian hot pepper…but I’ll let you know when you’re wrong! A less in-your-face approach would be to hit a mental mute button, & immediately start thinking about how far you have come and how strong you are. The mind is a powerful thing!

Stay focused & keep it moving!!!

sweetteacher123

Do keep in mind that tall women should weigh more. At almost six feet tall, you probably shouldn't be much thinner. I know sometimes our society is unfair to "real" sized women, but, as hard as it is, try to remember that proportion is very important in a body. If you were too thin, you would look funny because you have the gift of height! A well-proportioned body should also have curves in the right places!

I am sorry that sometimes your mom makes comments about your weight still; that would be hard. Before my daughter was a teenager, she would have been considered "chunky", but once she grew in high school, she has a great figure, with proportioned curves in all the right spots! Her "petite" friends are jealous that she can fit into all the clothes off the rack, and they look great! I am so thankful that I was never critical of her size when she was younger! You just be sure you don't make the same mistake of your mother (though I'm sure she means well).

Finally, one more thought to leave you with, I have found the regardless of size or shape, sometimes the most beautiful thing about a woman is confidence. Keep working hard for your size and shape on the outside, but also continue to work out for your confidence on the inside!

Phoenix_Rising

I just have to complain and get it off my chest my motivations are mostly negative. When I am trying to motivate myself to exercise I don’t think about my health, happiness or being a good example for my children. I feel like I have to prove something:grumble:
I think about my mother who is 44, 5 7 and 130lbs. She had 2 kids and not 1 stretch mark on her belly. She only gained 15- 20 lbs with each kid. She always talks about how my kids are chunky like me… and they have chubby legs like me… She also mentioned the other day that I have to be careful or I will be over weight like my dad:noway: … My dad is only 20 lbs over weight
I think about my sister in-law who graduated with me… She is like 5’3 and sooo thin with a huge bubble butt not to mention she is beautiful. Prize position of her family it gets irritating they talk about how great she is constantly!:explode:
My 2 best friends are both a size 3:indifferent: .
I am 5’11 and 155lbs I am in a healthy weight range I don’t understand why I have to look like a model to be happy :sad:

Honey, you weigh what I do, but have 8'' on me.
Your goal weight is lower than mine by 3lbs.
Again, you have 8 inches on me.

It seems like many of the women surrounding you have very...... *searching for gentle words*...... a warped sense of what a healthy woman should look like.

If you feel you need to drop a couple pounds and tone up because you want to, that is one thing, but to set your goals based on these very unhealthy biased negative views from others in your immediate world, well that is another issue entirely.

Speak to your doctor. Research online. Find a healthy weight. Unless you are walking the catwalks, you have no use in weighing what a model weighs. Weigh what a real woman weights. Look up female atheletes. Strive for their appearances, not waify little models.

Evaluate what is important to you. I looked through your photo gallery and think you look great. It's all about what you think.

Please remember too..... your mom and her issues have been passed along to you. Is this something you want to pass along to your daughter? Do you want her to deny food or work out too much in order to be bone thin? Do you want her to be healthy or model thin?

(((hugs))) Our society sends such horrible images to us. It's terrible.

CasperO

Mean and stupid people suck.

TCASMEY

Mean and stupid people suck.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:

angelwings2000

There will always be those people that find fault instead of notce beauty. Heck, some people notice the thorns on a rose! You sound liek you are at a great weight. Not much heavier than I am currently in my squat little five foot tall body. Do this for you, be at a weight you want to be, feel healthy & remember that you are beautiful!!

Questfor250

Lets get this straight. 5-11 155? That sounds like my dream girl. I too am large by everyone else's standards. 6'6 301. I am fortunate that I hide it well. I am losing for me. No one else, yet others will benefit. Do this for YOU. You are a beautiful woman. Believe it. Ignore Mom and any others who give you grief. Lose because you want to. And that chubby little kid of yours will grow up to be the same as everyone else. Maybe a little overweight. But if you are 5'11" chances are he will grow tall. Use the change in your lifestyle to show him the proper way to nutrition. Do it for you. Do it for him. No one else.

alymarphi

I just want to say THANKS! To everyone who replied. I really needed a boost and you guys had some great insight that I needed to realize… so Thank you again. I love MFP

arewethereyet

Sounds like YOU don't but THEY do...........need you to be skinny that is.

you sound absolutely PERFECT to me!

When I told someone I was at goal weight + 6 the other day she said " Really, I thought you had another 10-15 to go!"

I said......." Perfect for ME...........I like me this way"

she replied with " OH"

Most of the ppl around me are very supportive and tell me I am hot and sexy and healthy the way I am. Of course I have had 48 yrs to weed out the a-holes:laugh:

00Angela00

I noticed you want to get down to 132 ... which would put you in the underweight catagory?! Screw them, you're health is more important and being 132 is NOT healthy ... and you could only get their by UNHEALTHY means.

parvati

I just have to complain and get it off my chest my motivations are mostly negative. When I am trying to motivate myself to exercise I don’t think about my health, happiness or being a good example for my children. I feel like I have to prove something:grumble:
I think about my mother who is 44, 5 7 and 130lbs. She had 2 kids and not 1 stretch mark on her belly. She only gained 15- 20 lbs with each kid. She always talks about how my kids are chunky like me… and they have chubby legs like me… She also mentioned the other day that I have to be careful or I will be over weight like my dad:noway: … My dad is only 20 lbs over weight
I think about my sister in-law who graduated with me… She is like 5’3 and sooo thin with a huge bubble butt not to mention she is beautiful. Prize position of her family it gets irritating they talk about how great she is constantly!:explode:
My 2 best friends are both a size 3:indifferent: .
I am 5’11 and 155lbs I am in a healthy weight range I don’t understand why I have to look like a model to be happy :sad:

Honey, you weigh what I do, but have 8'' on me.
Your goal weight is lower than mine by 3lbs.
Again, you have 8 inches on me.

It seems like many of the women surrounding you have very...... *searching for gentle words*...... a warped sense of what a healthy woman should look like.

If you feel you need to drop a couple pounds and tone up because you want to, that is one thing, but to set your goals based on these very unhealthy biased negative views from others in your immediate world, well that is another issue entirely.

Speak to your doctor. Research online. Find a healthy weight. Unless you are walking the catwalks, you have no use in weighing what a model weighs. Weigh what a real woman weights. Look up female atheletes. Strive for their appearances, not waify little models.

Evaluate what is important to you. I looked through your photo gallery and think you look great. It's all about what you think.

Please remember too..... your mom and her issues have been passed along to you. Is this something you want to pass along to your daughter? Do you want her to deny food or work out too much in order to be bone thin? Do you want her to be healthy or model thin?

(((hugs))) Our society sends such horrible images to us. It's terrible.

I really don't think this could have been worded any better!!! Good job!!

I do have to add, i am 5'4' and my goal weight is similar to yours.... maybe your expectations are a little unrealistic....
Work on getting fit & being happy with yourself!!! I think you need to surround yourself with some posative people who will see you for you!! Good luck with your journey!! Hugz...

alymarphi

Dont take this the wrong way... I'm not upset. I just want to let everyone know I'v been around 135 before and its not unhealthy for my frame. I even have a little bit of chunk at 135 and could still have a muffin top with the wrong size pants. So I'm not trying to do anything unhealthy just trying to get back to what i was before. But thank you

sdirks

Took a gander at your photos--you are the most beautiful pregnant person!!!!!! Some women look bloated and miserable, while you look healthy and radiant!

You've been blessed with height, my friend. I'm 5'8" too. It's hard to be 6'+ in heels! I've been in and out of the fashion industry and I understand your aching need for thin. It's very hard to be surrounded by bony horse-women. Your curves start to feel unnatural by comparison (shudder). It can be very motivating, but can also become self destructive. You sound smart enought to know the difference, though!

Just remember to assess your body with your eyes, not the scale. Look at yourself in clothes, do yoga and litterally touch your muscles as your stretch, be aware of your body. You may get to 135 and say, "I don't like that bone sticking out there," or "what happened to my boobs?" You may get to 135 and need to lose another inch from here or there. To be happy with our bodies, we have to be in tune with what's actually going on, what we look like in the mirror, how our muscles respond. I think you understand that 132 may or may not be the right weight for you--I liked how your profile also went by dress size. That says a lot: celebrate yourself! Put on a nice dress and flaunt it! You may or may not be the same dress size as the women in your life, but you will be living a healthy lifestyle and setting a great example for your kids.

HealthyChanges2010

bump