HELP WITH A FAMILY FEUD!!?

Fay84Vegan

Okay Here goes...

The issue I have is with my sister.

Here's a short overview of my family etc...

I am the youngest of 4, i'm 28, my brother is 30, my sister (one with the feud) is 33, my elder sister is 37.

(My brother doesn't really get involved with issues he would rather try and keep the peace (he lives in Australia))

My sister and I have a love hate relationship. A lot of my childhood i looked up to her because I viewed her as very confident and beautiful.
Into my mid teens her & my brother ganged up on me and started bullying me a lot. Nothing too physically but a lot of 'you're ugly' 'no one wants to be your friend' they'd pick on my body shape, looks and make me cry almost everyday.

After moving out at 19 I really ''found myself'' and became more confident in my own skin.

It took quite a few years but me and my sister finally started to have a good relationship.

For the last 1 - 2 years her and her boyfriend have stayed many times at mine and my husbands house. We've treated them to meals, planned activities and really spoilt them when they have been at ours.
My sister and I had really started to become close and had the best relationship we have ever had!

My sister is very controlling and likes to know everything.
I was planning my wedding and I agreed to let my sister (who was a bridesmaid) help organise my Hen Do with my best friend (Maid of honor). She went to a lot of effort and time and i really appreciated it. She put a lot of thought into making it special for me.
Before going home she burst into tears - I comforted her, listened to her problems and looked after her the rest of the day.
It was the last week leading up to my wedding day and i was texting her making sure she was okay (as i knew she was under a lot of stress in her life at the time)
The last week leading up to my wedding i started to become very stressed (as you do)

The day before the wedding we had paid for everyone to stay in this massive house next to the wedding venue. Get everyone together the night before and have some time together.

A lot of people decided to go to the pub and I was alone in the house with my best friend, sister, mum, niece & my mum's best friend.

I had been super super stressed all day long and felt VERY anxious about the whole event / planning and getting married the next day.

Out of everyone i knew my 'Husband to be' was the one i felt supported by the most and i really needed to see him to clam myself down.

I was upstairs washing my face, came down stairs and was then greeted quickly by my maid of honor. She wanted to get me back upstairs. I twigged that my 'Husband to be' was in one of the rooms.
I pushed her out of the way and ran to the room i thought he was in. I was wrong and the door was quickly shut behind me. I was in the room with my maid of honor & niece, i tried pushing them out of the way but couldn't move them. I begged to be let out so i was.
As i opened the door i was stopped by my sister whilst my mum stood behind her. My sister jumped infront of the door, laughing trying to keep me inside. I snapped and pushed her out of the way saying 'no seriously - move'.

I went upstairs crying, quickly following by my 'husband to be' who had just arrived.

We talked and I felt a little better, he walked me down stairs and both my mum and sister had very angry looks on their faces.
My 'husband to be' left and i was crying left in the room with everyone. My sister had her face in a mag ignoring me. My maid of honor came over to comfort me. I said to my sister (whilst sobing) 'i'm really sorry, i didn't mean to hurt you' she continued to ignore me.

After 20 / 30 minutes of silence i went upstairs with my friend where i spent the rest of the night crying my eyes out. I woke up the next morning (my wedding day) crying.

I pulled myself together and went downstairs to sort things out with the make up artist. I tried talking to my sister but she just continued to blank me and pretended i didn't even exsist.
This set me off crying again and i ran to the toilet where i was followed by my brother and mum. My brother said he'd have a chat with my sister. My mum stayed and began telling me how bad my behavour was the night before and defending my sisters actions (as always!!!!) and said 'Your sister takes after me and holds grudges' etc..
For the rest of my wedding day i was crying up until 1 / 2 hours before the ceremony. She didn't say a word to me all day until she was completely drunk in the evening and then she 'loved me again'

The following day she ignored me and has continued to do so since... wedding was at the end of July!

My question is:

Christmas is coming up, I'm going down to my mums for 2 days and i will see her for the first time - what advice would you give me??

SO SORRY it is such a lot to read but i wanted to get the whole story across.

Thank you very much if you took the time to read it all and for any advice you have for me :flowerforyou:

earndien

dont worry i am in the same boat as where u sitting except my sister to blind to see it,
20 october it was a saturday night we were at a family function where i had to take photo and all
so i choose a table near my moms table and put my things, and my husband thing down with my friend thing so people could see the place was taken, when i got back my middle sister (4 years) older then me, i ask her that could she just move from my seat where i stated my things were at, and she refused to move, i asked her nicely to remove her self cause it was the place that was the nicest when i can take photo why people had to speech! after a big fuss and her swearing at me so much even the people that were at the table stood up and left (and been jelous over me and what i achieved and my husband), after that she left to sit on the other side of the hall with her husband and kids.

she left the function without saying goodbye to my mom and aunty that has travel for so far to visted.
(that night she stated on her Blackberry status that she Quote: gatvol of stinking attitude"
no i am a person you never put personal things on fb, bbm, twitter the whole works it just gets your *kitten* into more ****

the next day the 21 october was my birthday (25 year old) and i had a whole bunch of family at my house and there were kids running around
that she didnt pitch up of the lunch and i saw saying happy birthday to other people on fb but not me as her own sister.
@K all"
have you ever!!! not a major shocker coming out his mouth. your have a 10 000 page book just on him and his mood swing (he also threaten to beat me up) total another story

at the end of that, that night my oldest sister asked me if i recieved even a happy birthday from my middle sister i told her no and i dont care... she suposed to be the grown up on between us to.

you should have seen the messages between my older sister and middle sister, how shocking accusing us on always bad mouthing them and dont caring a **** ect......(funny part is when the go somewhere or do something NO one on the planet knows what they are doing and all is top secret) but yet they but in there nose on what we doing and except everthing to be done there way......

(i am proud to say i have the most best and kind hearted mother in the world, and she hates been stuck in the middle between us three sister, always tells up to fight our own battle and if u are doning the wrong, always show you are the better person. so that why i left my mother out of the problem but then she draggs her right in.....)

so i kinda of know where u in and it sometimes so drailed full and irritated, best advice it show you are the better person, so u that u much better then her. send her a message and then u got the sercret pleasure of grinding it in your face..... she your sister and i know she might be a pain in the *kitten* and u dont like her like i hate my sister at this moment i got a little person at the back of my head that always says do it right do it for your mom (parents). because you dont want to look back in 10 or 20 even 30 years and said **** i should have done this different or done that different....
just show U ARE THE BETTER PERSON (even if it irrates the HELL OF U)

take care