Finding a purpose to myself
Squible
Posts: 359 Member
I haven't been on here too much recently as I have moved and haven't had solid internet. Also its because I'm scared and ashamed of myself. Since I had to leave my job (due to the move) I have found salvation at the bottom of the crisp packet, or the sweet packet, or the...well you get the picture. In exactly 7 days I would have been unemployed for a month! In that time I have applied for countless (well over 50) jobs, and heard about 1% back and only 1 interview!
I've recently found it a struggle to do much, I haven't been applying for jobs as much as I did in the beginning (most of that 50 was in the first/second week) and I have just kept reaching for the food in comfort. The move, well that was stressful...we have down sized dramatically to save money so that we can afford our own place one day, so its a means to a bigger picture. The place is cold though and it doesn't have a shower...it has a bath but no shower....so washing your hair means using a jug.
Anyway since not having a job I have kinda lost my purpose in everything....I don't really have any friends close by and although I know I can talk to them about this stuff I also don't want to as I don't want to bring them down even more. I talk to my boyfriend about it quite frequently and he does suggest a lot of good things but I am just not interested in them.
And then There is the gym situation...we used to have one just across the road 5mins walking distance. Now there isn't one close by and also with the lack of a job I'm not sure if I should go and join one...I'm sure I could afford it...there is one 2 miles away for £20 a month or one around 3 miles away for £20/£12.99 a month depending on the contract you go for.
Maybe I should join the gym..ok it might give me a purpose and then in turn make me feel a lot more confident in myself and pro active in what I am going to do with my life and the everything else kinda falls into place.
I know its a lot cheaper for me to just go and run outside but with the days getting shorter and the weather being so cold and/or wet I don't think I am likely to have the motivation to do that. I have been for one run since being at the new place and that was in the middle of the day. I'm thinking if I have a gym to go to I can get the bus in the morning (when its dark) head down with my stuff do an hour or so in the gym then have a nice shower (yippeee) then I'm set for the day of job hunting (if that's still the case)
I think my main concern is the money side of it though, but I guess if I was truly honest with myself and worked out how much I had spent on junk food in the past month since I left my job it would be more than £20 a month which is what the gym is and the gym would actually make me feel better.
I've recently found it a struggle to do much, I haven't been applying for jobs as much as I did in the beginning (most of that 50 was in the first/second week) and I have just kept reaching for the food in comfort. The move, well that was stressful...we have down sized dramatically to save money so that we can afford our own place one day, so its a means to a bigger picture. The place is cold though and it doesn't have a shower...it has a bath but no shower....so washing your hair means using a jug.
Anyway since not having a job I have kinda lost my purpose in everything....I don't really have any friends close by and although I know I can talk to them about this stuff I also don't want to as I don't want to bring them down even more. I talk to my boyfriend about it quite frequently and he does suggest a lot of good things but I am just not interested in them.
And then There is the gym situation...we used to have one just across the road 5mins walking distance. Now there isn't one close by and also with the lack of a job I'm not sure if I should go and join one...I'm sure I could afford it...there is one 2 miles away for £20 a month or one around 3 miles away for £20/£12.99 a month depending on the contract you go for.
Maybe I should join the gym..ok it might give me a purpose and then in turn make me feel a lot more confident in myself and pro active in what I am going to do with my life and the everything else kinda falls into place.
I know its a lot cheaper for me to just go and run outside but with the days getting shorter and the weather being so cold and/or wet I don't think I am likely to have the motivation to do that. I have been for one run since being at the new place and that was in the middle of the day. I'm thinking if I have a gym to go to I can get the bus in the morning (when its dark) head down with my stuff do an hour or so in the gym then have a nice shower (yippeee) then I'm set for the day of job hunting (if that's still the case)
I think my main concern is the money side of it though, but I guess if I was truly honest with myself and worked out how much I had spent on junk food in the past month since I left my job it would be more than £20 a month which is what the gym is and the gym would actually make me feel better.
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Replies
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I think you've just lost your track. Think about it. I'm sure you don't feel better eating sweets or crisps. Not saying you must join the gym now, I live in London as well and I know how the situation is. And how expensive. But well, when I started my diet, I started walking, a lot, even though my motivation was the wrong one. But I strongly wanted to make it this time. I started in July. Lost around 30 pounds, like you., I feel way more comfortable now, people around me are noticing it. I had a promotion at work [still a ****ty one, but that's life, I'm not even English, I still have to improve lots of stuff in my life, just can't complain right now, honestly]. So, again. I didn't even go to run. I wasn't able. I walked a lot. And when I said a lot, I mean that from NOTHING AT ALL I started going home walking, around 8 miles. Now, I moved, like you. The 20th of October. I joined the gym just 2 min to my house [laaaaaaaaaaaaaazy, but it was quite cheap], AND I RUN. I feel better. My first motivation is going away, time after time. I started because I was having problems with my boyfriend, in July. We broke up in August. Today I'm realising that maybe NOW I'm doing it for myself, not for him anymore. I'm not going to quit. Not now, not ever. I don't want to. And sometimes I eat sweet and crisps. I'm eating quite a lot actually. But doing a good job is being paid back. I control my nutrition, and I think my metabolism is getting better. So should you. You're metabolism will improve, you will feel better. You will find a job, you're just a little bit down now, I understand. But things will get better, eventually. They always do. C'mon, You've already started the journey, go on. Don't quit. Do it for yourself. Always.0
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