All should read! EDs, calories, and the truth

SkyMusic

Hello. My name is Cam, and I'm a 19 year old girl, almost 20, living in San Francisco, CA. I had an eating disorder that developed in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of high school. I was insecure with everything and just wanted some control. But even as I starved, I would slip and binge. My weight fluctuated between 90 pounds and 120 pounds (which for my 5'2" frame is quite large).

When my parents found out, when I was 16, they got me a therapist, an ED doctor, and a nutritionist. With their help, I changed how I see food and how I see weight loss.

1. Don't believe everything you read on the internet. My wonderful nutritionist had been in her profession for years and understood the science between weight gain and loss, and how calories actually work. You see, you NEED carbs. You need a healthy, normal, amount of carbs.

2. Do not ever eat below maintenance level of calories. Trying to gain weight and trying to lose weight have the same solution. If you've been starving, slowly reintroduce amounts of food to work up to a normal level. If you're trying to lose weight, decrease your amount of food until you're at your normal level. The body wants to be healthy. It's hard on the body to be fat. If you give it what it's aways needed, it will give you the body you need to have (over time). Not everyone needs to have THE perfect body, but every single person can have his or her perfect body.

3. Enjoy. People on here so often say that "food is only for nourishment" or "I will not treat my body like a trash can." Sure, it's irresponsible to eat 3 pans of brownies and 7 cheeseburgers and 5 ice cream cones. But really, do not restrict yourself on what you can and cannot eat. Seriously. Don't try to "add things back in later", eat how you're going to eat forever. Maybe physically, yes, food is only for nutrition, but people who say this fail to take culture into account. Sharing a meal or a dessert can be a wonderful culturally significant experience.

4. Don't exercise for weight or appearance. People need to stop running and doing crunches to get that "perf beach body". I understand the desire to want to look great, but unless you FEEL great, about yourself, that's not going to be possible anyway. If you exercise, it should be because of how it makes you feel happy, strong, relaxed, etc.

5. There are NO healthy or unhealthy foods. This was the first thing that my nutritionist told me. I had been categorizing, like many of you, food into "healthy", "okay occasionally," and "bad for you!". She debunked this rather quickly. Huge amounts of anything can be harmful. But no one food can destroy or restore health, so no one food is healthy or unhealthy.

6. Understand, respect, and love your body. Yoga really helped me with this. Your body has a purpose. That purpose is to survive. Help your body fulfill its purpose more efficiently and effectively. Understand why it does why it does. Your body needs to conserve fat sometimes, because fat can be healthy. Understand that, and stop fighting your body.

These are some of the most important lessons I learned through my treatment. People call MFP a great tool for weight loss, but I respectfully dissent. Calorie counting is quite unhealthy. Eat until you're no longer hungry, and eat foods that make you feel GOOD. This is life. If you spend your whole live at war with your body, will that really a be a life worth living? Enjoy everything, experience everything. And above all, love yourself.

pepeleo

I have enjoyed reading this. Your very wise for someone so young.

Thanks.

runnninginmd

I agree with you... This thing has just made me obsessed with food and calories. Going out to eat is now a stressful experience. Every meal has to be planned. I'm already worried about a birthday party I'm going to tonight because I know it's going to be a bunch of high calorie foods. I might be eating an adequate amount, but I feel like I have an eating disorder. I lost more than my goal but am afraid to eat at maintainance because it seems like so many calories now. It's ridiculous.

TinyLittleOne

"Your body has a purpose. That purpose is to survive. Help your body fulfill its purpose more efficiently and effectively. Understand why it does why it does. Your body needs to conserve fat sometimes, because fat can be healthy. Understand that, and stop fighting your body. "

I like that, a lot. I think like that often, and I have suffered from disordered eating in the past.

stines72

i like this thread, thanks for posting.

SuperstarDJ

Great post!

I am in recovery (yet AGAIN) from anorexia and a lot of what you're saying mirrors what my nutritional therapist (from the most successful treatment programme I was ever on) used to say to me. Very balanced, healthy way of looking at nutrition/body issues.

Wishing you all the best.

prairiedawg2014

I have enjoyed reading this. Your very wise for someone so young.

Thanks.

i second this!!

cravingskinnybody

The most amazing thing I ever read on this site!! thank you

AEFidgets

I have enjoyed reading this. Your very wise for someone so young.

Thanks.

i second this!!

Aye

RedHotHunter

Might I say that this was very well written?
I think counting calories is important so that you another tool for knowing what you are putting into your body. However, I do agree with your post and that ALL things (including counting calories) should be done for happiness and overall health. Thank you for sharing this.

geebusuk

Sorry for the lack of 'positivity' -
1. I quite agree, but I'd also caution believing everything 'experts' that have been in the field for many years too. Too many people, whatever the area, get complacent and either don't keep up to date or just get lazy generally.

2. Do you meant don't eat below BMR? Maintenance is generally used to mean the calories you need to keep at the same weight. If you never eat below it, you'll never lose weight by definition.

Definitely agree on finding food you can enjoy - though for me I actually have to be a bit careful with this.
Have eaten a whole pack of low-calorie sausages today because I enjoy them a bit too much.
(Though, should still fit in with my calorie goals with exercise I've done.)

4. Why not? Had you considered that looking great helps people to feel good too? I don't enjoy a lot of the exercise I do, but I do enjoy the results - and I certainly feel more confident when talking to girls if I've got a decent-looking body. Generally makes me happier as a fairly shy bloke.

Quite agree on nothing being specifically healthy or unhealthy - it depends entirely on the indivdual and circumstances etc.

Oh and finally - my body generally likes to survive by eating as much as possible - good for survival if were talking a few hundred years ago or more where you may find there's barely any food for six months.

These are some of the most important lessons I learned through my treatment. People call MFP a great tool for weight loss, but I respectfully dissent. Calorie counting is quite unhealthy. Eat until you're no longer hungry, and eat foods that make you feel GOOD. This is life. If you spend your whole live at war with your body, will that really a be a life worth living? Enjoy everything, experience everything. And above all, love yourself.

This might be good advice for you.
For me and a lot of other people, it's exactly what DID make us unhealthy and overweight.

Love_flowers

Thank you very much for sharing. :flowerforyou:

letjog

Personally I wouldn't say 120 lbs is "quit large" for 5 foot 2.

Apart from that, thanks for your post.

PaulsTinyDancer

That was exactly my thought, reading this. This girl is amazing.

elijhasmomma

2. Do you meant don't eat below BMR? Maintenance is generally used to mean the calories you need to keep at the same weight. If you never eat below it, you'll never lose weight by definition.

Agreed unless she actually meant eat at maintenance levels for the weight you are trying to reach as this is what you will be eating at once you reach your goal. That, I can understand.

SkyMusic

Sorry for the lack of 'positivity' -
1. I quite agree, but I'd also caution believing everything 'experts' that have been in the field for many years too. Too many people, whatever the area, get complacent and either don't keep up to date or just get lazy generally.

2. Do you meant don't eat below BMR? Maintenance is generally used to mean the calories you need to keep at the same weight. If you never eat below it, you'll never lose weight by definition.

Definitely agree on finding food you can enjoy - though for me I actually have to be a bit careful with this.
Have eaten a whole pack of low-calorie sausages today because I enjoy them a bit too much.
(Though, should still fit in with my calorie goals with exercise I've done.)

4. Why not? Had you considered that looking great helps people to feel good too? I don't enjoy a lot of the exercise I do, but I do enjoy the results - and I certainly feel more confident when talking to girls if I've got a decent-looking body. Generally makes me happier as a fairly shy bloke.

Quite agree on nothing being specifically healthy or unhealthy - it depends entirely on the indivdual and circumstances etc.

Oh and finally - my body generally likes to survive by eating as much as possible - good for survival if were talking a few hundred years ago or more where you may find there's barely any food for six months.

These are some of the most important lessons I learned through my treatment. People call MFP a great tool for weight loss, but I respectfully dissent. Calorie counting is quite unhealthy. Eat until you're no longer hungry, and eat foods that make you feel GOOD. This is life. If you spend your whole live at war with your body, will that really a be a life worth living? Enjoy everything, experience everything. And above all, love yourself.

This might be good advice for you.
For me and a lot of other people, it's exactly what DID make us unhealthy and overweight.

I don't think that loving yourself is what makes anyone overweight. Eating disorders of any kind, whether it be over or under eating, don't stem from a lack of food but rather another area of one's life. I don't know what that is for you, but for me, it was horrible relationships with my parents and sexual abuse as a child. It doesn't have to be anything near as large, though. Food is a constant in our lives, and can provide for many of us an unhealthy escape or comfort.

Your body's survival method is not eating everything in sight immediately; that is what it has been trained to do, perhaps.

If you eat below your maintenance level of calories, all you do is train your body to be more efficient in conserving and storing calories.

Experience everything, indeed. When you are craving that ice cream, you eat an ice cream. And when you are full, stop. Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full. You will lose weight, but I think that is less important than being satisfied with yourself. Because you're a human person and deserve pleasure and love.

I'm sorry if any of this was not clear. Nothing I say is going to be taken seriously by everyone. I just thought I would share, because restoring my relationship with food, my body, and myself has made me a much more whole person. Best of luck to everyone here.

Hertford86

This is excellent. Very impressive.

I quite see that for someone who has an eating disorder in their past, counting calories could be emotionally unhealthy. Clearly you find it so, and you are very wise to stay away. For me and others MFP has been a useful source of information, no more. I have always been fortunate to have a very happy, easy relationship with food. When I hit middle age, my metabolism shifted, and I found myself creeping out of the healthy weight zone. Then I got cancer and my dr. told me it was better for me to be not just back in the zone, but at the lower end of it. I had to start paying attention - learning how many calories there actually are in things. I plan to use MFP while I am on my way to my goal weight, but hope, after I get there, and switch to eating at TDEE that I'll have the hang of it sufficiently that I won't have to log anymore.

Many best wishes to you for a lifetime of healthy, happy eating.

SkyMusic

Personally I wouldn't say 120 lbs is "quit large" for 5 foot 2.

Apart from that, thanks for your post.

If you're looking purely for a weight standpoint, it doesn't seem huge. But I am very very petite and I did not feel or look healthy at 120 pounds. I'm at 110 and for me, that is the right body weight. It takes no effort for me to maintain other than loving myself, and eating when hungry and stopping when full. But for many 5'2" women, 120 is perfect or even too light!

Best of luck to you.

MarcoRod

Personally I wouldn't say 120 lbs is "quit large" for 5 foot 2.

Apart from that, thanks for your post.

I believe the OP meant the swing from 90 to 120 is quite large, not 120.

Ladyiianae

Wonderfully well written. If you don't mind, I'd like to save it to refer to personally from time to time.

Thank you!

Jennifer
Minnesota

LoraF83

Great advice!

I appreciate almost all of it - except the calorie counting part. Calorie counting might be bad for a person who has food issues/obsessions to handle, but if you are able to moderate your consumption and views on food, calorie counting can be very helpful.