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AndreaEscobar100

Sometimes I think so negative.. Like this ....... " Oh I just wanna get high on anything so I can forget about everyone & be selfish for once. " Sometimes I feel like It would be so much easier to fall back in drugs (hardcore) - & see where life takes me from there. I can't say I want to stay sober my whole life and not EVER smoke weed but I know I would be lying. I wish I could think like before "Have the idgaf attitude".. But the problem is that I'm past that phase. If I were to smoke a blunt, have my beers... I would probably want to get ****kked up & use more drugs but I know that I would step back into reality. I wouldn't allow myself to go back to how I was before. I know I have my depressing;negative thoughts sometimes but I know what I gotta do& what my goals are. You know what they say.. Its easier to fail than to succeed. I've hit a bumpy road these couple of weeks. I feel like a prisoner. I'm not free or happy. but whos happy all the time? I just miss smoking my cigarettes once in a while or drinking a beer once in while, and hanging out at home. Ya know, nothing to over the top. I don't miss being a drunk mess.