Too Skinny!

hollyNhollywood

I recently got this.. It came from the guy I've been dating for a year. As I've been losing weight, he's been very complimentary. Saying I look great, but adding I don't need to lose any more weight, I'm perfect as I am. Then last week I saw him for the first time after not seeing him for awhile (about a month). He said I lose weight each time he sees me. (Funny thing is, I only lost about 1-1.5 lbs in that time). And I could tell how he was saying it, he wasn't liking it. And he asked how much more weight I plan on losing. And even held up a finger, insinuating I was turning into a twig. But if he doesn't like it, I see that as his problem.

And the funny thing is-- this weekend, I did my first race (a 4k "beer run") and was speaking to a girl at the starting line. I told her this was my first race. She said she doesn't even exercise but then made a comment about how "there are women EVEN bigger than us who can do it". Uhm, ouch.
And then after the race, while I was enjoying a slice of cheese pizza, a guy sitting near me was saying "You're not going to eat that are you!?! Do you know how many calories are in that?!!". He later told me I was going to hell for eating it. He added that he was trying to be funny but was failing miserably. Uhm, yes.
So, which is it? Am I too skinny or am I still a 'bigger girl' who gets crap from strangers for indulging in a slice of pizza???

Fibbian

I get that a lot. I'm not interested in losing weight - only in eating right and staying in shape. I'm really into running and vegan food and if anything i find i gain muscle weight. If i make any comments about food or calories or anything, even if it's a positive one, i'm told to put on a few pounds, and that i really don't need to lose any weight. My goal is to simply be at my best; that's what I tell people. I tell people I run every day and they tell me I should relax. I say, do what you need to do to feel amazing, and don't let people say anything about it. Most people are not aware of the potential height of their physical function.
Let it roll off, as hard as it is. I'm in the same boat.

Awkward30

I agree with most of this thread!

It sounds like your lean mass is on the low side, I thought my ex was getting too thin because he had relatively low lean mass, like you. But ultimately, what matters is that you are healthy and happy!

Also, I do think people are kind of used to seeing people be overweight, so the low side of normal strikes people as weird.

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

Oh yes I get that a lot especially from my co-workers & my own family particularly my mother who only weighs 45kgs. but I think its because they used to see me obese & now that I'm at my healthy weight of 54 kg. (I'm 5'2) & 19.5% BF, they starting to call me a beanpole or worse an anorexic. But to be honest, despite everything I still look far from being waif because of my medium bone structure & I still look bigger than the majority of the local women here (I live in Asia btw so that explains it)

chroniclesofthinoholic

From 107lbs through 120lbs i get the "too skinny" , " you're anorexic" comments from the older people and at the same time from people closer to my age I get the "chubby" , "pretty fat" ( i have no idea what that means) comments ....

i rather the too skinny ones over the chubby ones... and tat 5"4, 117-120lbs cannot be considered dead looking nor chubby (especially not at the same time :grumble: )


Ignore what others say ... if you feel happy and healthy you're good to go
(Must listen to this myself)

pinkraynedropjacki

I got told that I'm 2 skinny as well. Hardly, I still have some I can lose. I think it comes from those people who fear you being better than them at this & working for it.

aussiecaseylee

I get this all the time, especially from my mum. I come from a family of feeders, they just LOVE to load up your plate and make sure you eat every scrap of it! I'm technically still in the overweight range going by my current BMI. I'm not happy with my weight at the moment and trying to lose about 12kg, so I don't really need people telling me I'm too skinny!! I need people telling me to put down the chocolates and back away from the fridge! :laugh:

lisab0864

I hear it way to often also and NO I'm not too skinny -- I am on the high side of "normal bmi" (5'6" 140 lbs). Also hate hearing (and hear it often) "you keep getting skinnier" -- NO I haven't lost any weight in over 18+ months well actually I gained 5 lbs in May..
I think it is like you say -- w/more than 2/3 of the population overweight or obese us "normal size" people look small....

SurfyFriend

Yes! My family always puts a lot of pressure on me to eat second helpings of dinner and have dessert afterwards. They also say I'm too skinny and theres nothing of me, when there is! And now my mum has started some stupid diet and is lecturing me about how I shoukdn't do any of those things because they are bad for my health, etc when I didn't even do them in the first time. And, I have done extensive research into health and nutrition and get lectures about what is right and wrong. like I dont already know!! Its a bit sad.

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

Yes! My family always puts a lot of pressure on me to eat second helpings of dinner and have dessert afterwards. They also say I'm too skinny and theres nothing of me, when there is! And now my mum has started some stupid diet and is lecturing me about how I shoukdn't do any of those things because they are bad for my health, etc when I didn't even do them in the first time. And, I have done extensive research into health and nutrition and get lectures about what is right and wrong. like I dont already know!! Its a bit sad.

You're nearly 5'7 and trying to reach 105 pounds...maybe they are legitimately concerned. I'd seek help if I were you, not to be mean. Your goals are dangerous and unhealthy. You're currently 118 pounds, I'd say you're plenty skinny already.

BarackMeLikeAHurricane

I get this sometimes, too. I'm 5'8" 113lbs and 16%BF so I'm not grossly skinny or anything. When someone tells me I'm too thin I just tell them they're too fat. If you get to comment on me being underweight I get to comment on you being over weight. It's only fair.

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

I get this sometimes, too. I'm 5'8" 113lbs and 16%BF so I'm not grossly skinny or anything. When someone tells me I'm too thin I just tell them they're too fat. If you get to comment on me being underweight I get to comment on you being over weight. It's only fair.

Except that you're 20 years old and wreaking havoc on your endocrine system. I'm not sure what your ultimate goal weight or BF% is but I will confidently say that you are, IN FACT, too skinny. Unless of course you have no aspirations for giving birth or maintaining your reproductive health.

BarackMeLikeAHurricane

I get this sometimes, too. I'm 5'8" 113lbs and 16%BF so I'm not grossly skinny or anything. When someone tells me I'm too thin I just tell them they're too fat. If you get to comment on me being underweight I get to comment on you being over weight. It's only fair.

Except that you're 20 years old and wreaking havoc on your endocrine system. I'm not sure what your ultimate goal weight or BF% is but I will confidently say that you are, IN FACT, too skinny. Unless of course you have no aspirations for giving birth or maintaining your reproductive health.

I actually never plan on trying to have children and my body seems to agree with that (never started menstruating) but there's nothing wrong with my current weight and BF%. 14-20% body fat is considered athletic. What's the point of me packing on muscle if I'm going to allow it to be covered in a thick layer of fat?

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

If you don't want kids then by all means continue along your path--I've been there, done that and now I have to suffer the consequences.

ohsheepsu

You should consider more that they are considered about your health. Being both too heavy and too skinny can mean unhealthy consequences. Just consider it as a thoughtful worry than an insult and politely say that you're actually quite healthy and they have no need to worry.

BarackMeLikeAHurricane

If you don't want kids then by all means continue along your path--I've been there, done that and now I have to suffer the consequences.

I'm always interested in different people's opinion on where to draw the line. There are plenty of female body builders that will get down to the 5-8% BF range when competing, yet I've never heard anyone call them too thin. How much muscle does a woman need to put on in order to be at an extremely low BF% without being called too thin? Not hating, just honestly curious.

markdisiena3232

i am 5'7 male 146lbs family tells me that I am too thin, they tell me to put on some muscle to look better?

srcardinal10

I have lost a lot of weight over the years and when I tell people, mainly my friends, what my goal weight and body fat goals are, I constantly get that's too skinny! You'll fly away in the wind...or comments that are similar. It's very frustrating. I'm also doing things to get in shape and be able to MAINTAIN a healthy lifestyle. I want to be a good example to those around me. It would be nice if the people that are physically in my life were as supportive as my friends on MFP.

jeffreyjording

Nobody said hey your too fat you need to lose some weight. When I weighed over 300lbs. But I sure hear hey your too skinny almost everyday. Ignore these people or I just say Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Lol

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

If you don't want kids then by all means continue along your path--I've been there, done that and now I have to suffer the consequences.

I'm always interested in different people's opinion on where to draw the line. There are plenty of female body builders that will get down to the 5-8% BF range when competing, yet I've never heard anyone call them too thin. How much muscle does a woman need to put on in order to be at an extremely low BF% without being called too thin? Not hating, just honestly curious.

A few points about bodybuilders 1) most are amenorrheic 2) they don't stay at that bodyfat % all year long and 3) it's their profession and with that comes sacrifice. Just because they're fit doesn't mean they're "HEALTHY" from a hormonal perspective.

Too low for every day is probably below 17-18%, that's based on my own research of the endocrine system and female reproduction.

MinimalistShoeAddict

I am a 5'10" male and weigh about 150 down from 180ish. I have at least one person tell me a day that I shouldn't lose any more weight and that I shouldn't get "too skinny". What the hell does that mean anyway?! I am at around 15.5% body fat with about 125 pounds of lean body mass. My blood pressure is perfect, and I eat a very healthy 2000 calories maintanance diet of delicious food. I work out 3 times a week with weights and treadmill. I am certainly not a bean pole and I can even pinch an inch here and there.
I think what has happened in our society is that being mildly obese has become the new norm, and when someone is actually lean and in shape, they are perceived as obsessive. This is a sad commentary in an age where obesity is the number one killer. In many other countries I would be looked at as totally normal, if not chubby. Has anyone else out there gotten to a lean weight and experienced the same kind of reaction?
By the way, it's almost always overweight people that make the comments.

I am close to your weight and height and believe I am very healthy. Try to ignore comments such as those you describe. Instead of focusing on your weight, keep focusing on WEIGHT LIFTING like you are doing and you will see your body fat decrease as you add more muscle even if your weight stays the same.

My focus is currently on adding strength (and hopefully reducing body fat to below 10% by the end of the year). In addition to the health benefits, a more muscular frame is also likely to receive far fewer "too skinny" comments. Keep up the good work!