Stress Eaters... Coping Mechanism Ideas Please!

Aviendha_RJ

I'm VERY guilty of the stress-binge. All the time. I buy food in secret, hide it, & eat it when no one is looking. I do Drive Thru at weird hours of the day & night & have a value meal for a SNACK when under a lot of pressure. I need some coping mechanisms please!

BF of 18 mos asked me for "time" today... not really an *kitten* move, because I love him, & I tell him all the time, but he was seriously hurt by a former fiancé, & as a result is very careful & sensitive. He has not told me he loves me back, & has been struggling with his feelings for the past few weeks. Finally today, he's asked me to give him some time to think & get his emotions sorted out... even though he "cares about me so much" & "doesn't want to hurt me" & I'm "the sweetest person [he's] ever met" & I "should have left long ago" because he doesn't know "how I put up with [him]"... well, that's pretty easy. I love him... so when he forgets my birthday, our anniversary, or Valentine's day, skips my family functions to go to a friend's birthday party...

He's not a *kitten*, nor an *kitten*... nor anything else bad. I can't really say anything bad about him, other than sometimes he makes me feel like an afterthought.

But toss this on top of full-time university, starting a new job, because I got "constructively dismissed" from my old one to make room for an employee coming back from disability leave, & still not having made any friends since I moved to this city a year and a half ago... this is a little much.

All I want is something deep-fried & covered in chocolate, & I don't know what to do! Does anyone have a coping mechanism that works?

truddy6647

wow so I came on MFP to asking something similar. While i have never been a closet eater I have been one to eat when stressed. I thought about going to the gym but really I don't have the energy to go there. Any case i just was supprised to see your thread at a point when I so much feel like doing this.

ash190489

I sometimes cave too with emotional and stress eating! The only thing that works for me is distracting myself! Usually this means going to gym! It helps with getting rid of stress and actually makes me feel better about myself! Also, working my butt of at the gym means I don't want to just eat all those calories I just burned off again! Another way I distract myself sometimes (usually when I am on holidays) is by going shopping! I don't want to feel fat and bloated when trying on clothes, so it helps me to make better food choices or not eat at all at that moment of weakness - however I usually end up spending way too much on clothes I probably didn't really need lol!

ChristiMightGetFit

I use those crystal light packets that you mix in with a bottle of water. When I get bad cravings I can drink as much as that as I want and it gives a sweet taste to fulfill and take away the craving and it's only 5 calories. I love the raspberry lemonade flavor and fruit punch. It's been tremendously helpful in coping with my stress eating and it gets me through the day without sabotaging myself!

StinkyWinkies

I am trying, as in not perfected, talking myself into something healthy to eat when I am (or think I am) stress, emotional or comfort eating.

Last week I bought an apple after talking to myself long and hard about why I wanted to eat while walking around a grocery store during a dinner break at a very stressful night at work. I then ate said apple, so I knew I was really hungry and not just eating 'emotionally.' The key, for me, is to be aware of ALL the food I "shove in my face" that way, I have a better 'grip' on it. Then I "do something different" or eat, depending where my head is. But I never, ever, at least these days, beat myself up for it. I log it on MFP, then if I am over, I think about what triggered it and think about what I can do differently next...doing something to take my mind off it helps a lot and is fairly easy to do in my work. (I often sing, not very well, but sing nonetheless)

As to the boyfriend, if doesn't know where his head is or his feeling for you are after 18 months of being with you...I'd be thinking twice about the relationship, regardless how "wonderful" he is.

Sharkington

When I am stressed, I find that going to the gym helps, or even just working out in other ways that are fun for me like pilates and dancing. It helps keep my mind occupied - especially when I am working out to some music I really like. I feel very good afterward and despite the fact that I might still be in the same situation that is stressing me out, I have expelled a lot of energy and negative emotions by running, dancing, or whatever I choose to do to get my heart rate up. It also makes me feel like I have done something more positive for my body in the long run, rather than setting myself back from my goal by binging.

If I have already worked out, I try doing something productive when I get the urge to stress eat - sometimes I clean, or reorganize rooms, i paint my nails (that might sound a bit silly, but I find it very distracting/calming), and sometimes I will just call a friend or family member if I need to vent, or get advise. Sometimes other peoples' insights on our situations can help us self reflect and assess the things that are making our lives stressful.

i know how it feels to move to a new city and not have many friends, so that can be very tough. I'm not sure if you're into the gym scene, but if you like going, sometimes people look for workout buddies, so that is one way to meet a new friend who can also motivate you!

Also, I'm sorry to read about your boyfriend situation - having issues arise with someone you love is one of the most stressful things to deal with and I am sure many of us can relate. It sounds like you are a very understanding person, but don't forget to take care of yourself while he is trying to figure out his emotions.

Aviendha_RJ

Thanks everyone!

I couldn't help but sit here & bawl my eyes out reading all of your comments.

Why is it so hard to just be happy? Why does everything have to be so difficult?

JenMcCrory

Everything doesn't have to be difficult, everything is easy when it's the right one trust me x

I find it hard to overcome my stress eating but the one thing that does take my mind of it is cleaning and organising. Doesn't sound like fun but it takes my mind off the stress and focuses me.

Good luck x

peuglow

I "should have left long ago" because he doesn't know "how I put up with [him]"... well, that's pretty easy. I love him... so when he forgets my birthday, our anniversary, or Valentine's day, skips my family functions to go to a friend's birthday party...

He's not a *kitten*, nor an *kitten*... nor anything else bad. I can't really say anything bad about him, other than sometimes he makes me feel like an afterthought.

I'm sure you're not looking for relationship advice....but seriously?


Anyway, as for coping mechanisms, try logging everything you WOULD eat before you actually do it. Check out your macros, and decide if the food is really worth it. If you take this weight loss thing seriously, it shouldn't be much of a debate.

Kfarrell6

I ditto what the other girls have said. I find just going for a walk or quickly gulping down water helps. I tend to want to eat all my emotions, like stuff myself quickly to numb myself. At 210 pounds, thats a lot of stuffing! I end up feeling worse off emotionally and physically, but I totally understand where you are coming from.
Come on these boards for a quick pick me up. I know looking at success stories helps me refocus.
I am not going to bash your boyfriend, but let me say this. If you are not the center of his universe, the most precious thing in the world to him, you should move on until he figures it out. DONT wait for him to REALIZE how precious you ARE! THat gives him WAY too much power. If he knows you are waiting for HIM. you will never get the respect you DESERVE. Good luck beautiful!

alucido

bump

mierla

I always try to acknowledge how I feel before I eat- I think 'How am I feeling and am I eating because I'm hungry or something else?'
If it is something else- I sort that out, or write a list of things I can do to sort it, or talk to someone about it.
Just try to address the problem first!
EG: I'm about to stress eat- why am I eating? Because I have these 3 things to do and not enough time- I write down when I'm going to do all 3, then break the 3 down into smaller jobs, and more often than not find myself sorting out the problem.
More often than not if I'm aware of it, I can stop myself!

TavistockToad

so when he forgets my birthday, our anniversary, or Valentine's day, skips my family functions to go to a friend's birthday party...

He's not a *kitten*, nor an *kitten*... nor anything else bad. I can't really say anything bad about him, other than sometimes he makes me feel like an afterthought.

no offence but if you are NEVER his priority, after 18 months then you have a problem...

jcstanton

I like to turn on some happy music and sing along at the top of my lungs or pop in a comedy. Somehow, smiling and laughing makes me feel better...even if I don't start out in a smiling and laughing mood. Engaging in an organization/cleaning project around the house helps relieve stress as well. It helps me feel like I am still in control of SOMETHING, even if I can't control the circumstances of my life...which is really what emotional/stress eating is all about.

Christine1110

Sometimes we just have to let life happen....There is nothing we can do to change things. I to liked to eat junk in secret....I waited until everyone is in bed.....then head for the ice cream. I have a bowl, and before it's gone I'm thinking of more. It was a very bad habit to break!! I have had failed marriges, and raised my kids for years alone. I'm hear to say I have learned you have to make yourself happy first....or you will never find true happiness!! I know nothing can do it for you! Have fun with friends...and let love come find you. It might be with your BF now...and you might find a new mister right.....you never know. I just know the secret to it all is finding the things in life that make you happy!! Go out have fun with your friends...don't waste your life waiting for someone to make you happy.

Good luck : )

LlfeChangingExp

Get rid of your "stress" and wala.. great "coping mechanism!" (seriously though, if he truly loves you, you would be his first priority. Im 40 yrs old and didnt believe in love, well.... )

I say like on Saturday pre-log all meals from Sunday-Saturday. LOG EVERYTHING. On Sunday prep those meals and store them in container in freezer/fridge. This will really help keep you focused.

DONT bring any of those foods in the house.

When you feel stressed, put ur music on and hit the gym or walk.

When you cheat, youre cheating yourself. I wont gain weight when you binge and feel depressed AFTER...SOOO....

.... LOVE YOURSELF.. Love yourself enough to make yourself happy. GREAT things will happen when you do. Youre a beautiful, young, and im sure strong woman. We have all been there and nothing gets better until YOU want it to.

You know u got this... Good luck.

WinwillLose

I moved from stress eating to stress cooking...when stressed and I want to eat. I find an awesome recipe and go home an cook it . . The trick is make it a new recipe for what every diet you are following. This way you are staying on track but changing the habit to a better one.

sigridolsen

I would suggest renting a movie called " He's just not that into you" and then read the book...maybe twice or three times... and then you might see that you deserve to be a priority in a relationship. Give hime the space he's looking for and don't cling on to him. Take the time to find yourself and look after yourself. Go to the gym, focus on healthy eating, join a new club (volleyball or something like that) and get out and meet new people. When he calls to see how you're doing you will then have new things to talk about and will be having a great life without him.

Remember to make yourself a priority and look after yourself. If he's not there to be a supportive partner to you in this journey of weight loss and healthy lifestyle then move on and find somebody who is currently in the journey or wants to be a part of it with you. It's hard but you'll be happier. (I've been there... and I've lost about 200 lbs twice... they're called ex boyfriends and in retrospect, I'm now very happy those relationships are over. Allowing those relationships to end enabled me to find the right one with a supportive partner who is supporting me in my weight loss journey.

IowaPrincess

I can completeyl relate to the "afterthought" feeling.
Unfortunately it may end..... but focus on YOU.
I realized when everything ended with my ex.... that not only had I let his behavior create my emotions and over eating doing to stress, but he DIDNT.
He left our relationship just fine. Becuase he had been looking out for himself.
I know it sounds harsh or selfish, but you need to take care of yourself and guard your heart so if it does end you are prepared and not worse off.

As far as "eating my emotions" I have picked up hobbies that calm me.... gardening, walking my dog, calling a gf, or simply watching my favorite movie.

If it gets really bad I make myself exercise even if I already did that day.

I know some of these ideas are not fun, but its worth it I promise

kenazfehu

I'm a stress eater, and honestly - these days I'm just toughing it out and letting myself experience my feelings. It seems that I cry a lot more since I stopped seeking comfort in the kitchen. As much as I can, I try to distract myself with non-food things, like taking the dog for a walk or doing maintenance on my aquarium - anything I can summon the energy for.