Tell me your funniest joke!

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JohnnyKitty
JohnnyKitty Posts: 117 Member
in Chit-Chat
Help, I'm so bored and I'm stuck at school, try to make me laugh!
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Replies

  • placeboaddiction
    placeboaddiction Posts: 451 Member
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    What do you call a ghost bee?


    A boobee. (This is my go to joke for everything. I need more jokes for between time on stage)
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    Knock Knock
  • JohnnyKitty
    JohnnyKitty Posts: 117 Member
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    Knock Knock
    who's there?
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    Knock Knock
    who's there?
    Hutch
  • JohnnyKitty
    JohnnyKitty Posts: 117 Member
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    Knock Knock
    who's there?
    Hutch
    Hutch who?
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    Knock Knock
    who's there?
    Hutch
    Hutch who?
    Bless you :blushing:
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.

    A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service

    Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
    The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

    At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
    When all eyes stared at him, he said,
    "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist."

    And at that point, the proctologist fainted.
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I was going to see a Show about puns, but it turned out it was just a play on words.


    What do you call sea gulls that live by the bay?

    Bay-gulls (ba dum dum)
  • tyraskanks_
    tyraskanks_ Posts: 229
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    How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?


    One to drop it and three to yell "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!"

    (I don't know if anyone will get this)
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
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    How do make a hormone?
    Don't pay her.
  • SheilaG1963
    SheilaG1963 Posts: 298 Member
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    Ok, but it's slightly dirty.




    There were three ducks swimming in a farmers pond. He called the conservation agent to get them out.

    The conservation agent came out and called the first duck up on land.
    "What's your name?" he asked the duck.
    "My name is duck. We were just blowing bubbles in the pond." said the duck.
    "Well, the farmer wants you out, so go somewhere else." said the conservation agent.


    He then called the second little duck out and asked him his name.
    "My name is duck-duck and we were just blowing bubbles in the pond." said the duck.
    "Well, go somewhere else." said the conservation agent.


    As the third duck walked up on shore, the agent said, "I know, your name is duck-duck-duck."
    "No," said the duck. "My name is Bubbles!!"
  • SheilaG1963
    SheilaG1963 Posts: 298 Member
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    A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.

    A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service

    Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
    The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

    At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
    When all eyes stared at him, he said,
    "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist."


    OMG, too funny!!

    And at that point, the proctologist fainted.
  • _skittybang
    _skittybang Posts: 970 Member
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    4447334_700b.jpg
  • mmedjjon
    mmedjjon Posts: 511
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    Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
  • mmedjjon
    mmedjjon Posts: 511
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    He ran out of juice!
  • je551caDan13ls
    je551caDan13ls Posts: 114
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    Why didn't Noah fish off the side of the Ark?




    He only had two worms!

    Gets me everytime :)
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,136 Member
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    Your mom.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    What do you call a pizza parlor owned by an epileptic midget?

    Little Seizures!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    A LOVE STORY

    I shall seek & find you…

    I shall take you to bed and have my way with you…

    I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan and groan…

    I will make you beg for mercy…beg for me to stop…

    I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I’m finished with you.

    And you will be weak for days…

    All my love….










    THE FLU

    Get your mind out of the gutter...actually, it's WAY more fun in here :devil:
  • peuglow
    peuglow Posts: 684 Member
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    Two atoms are sitting in a bar. One says to the other, "I think I've lost an electron." The other asks "Are you sure?" To which the first replies, "I'm positive."

    A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?" To which the bartender replies, "For you, no charge!"

    Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!

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