sorry need to vent
Replies
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Good luck....0
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I don't believe you're 22
Srsly
^^^^^THIS0 -
Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .
If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.
The OP should seek some professional help, starting with DCF and/or family counselling or a hot line. . Start there and they should be able to direct you to agencies and/or charities that can help you.0 -
I'm sorry but this is your fault as well. If you don't stand up to you "overprotecting" parents you can't complain about them. You're 22, you're an ADULT. You are old enough to drink, drive, live alone, vote, party, do WHATEVER you want and they can't say anything.
I'm 21 and I go out whenever I want, I always let my parents know where I'm going and with who though (out of respect), if I want to go on vacation, I ask for vacation days at work, I buy my ticket, plan my trip and let my parents know. I don't say "hey mom can I have permission to go on vacation next month?" Ummm.. NO, I make my own decisions. I went to school, graduated, and I work. I support them, I am honest with them, I talk to them, I am a good daughter but never would I let them take control of my life (not that they try either, they respect me and my decisions).
My point is, you need to take stand, otherwise, it isn't going to stop.0 -
Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .
If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.
Just because it's not easy doesn't mean it's not a valid suggestion.0 -
they want let me move that's the pointIf you live with your parents, your parents house, your parents rules. Don't like it, move out.
I lived with my parents until I was almost 25. You bet your butt I was home before midnight on a "school night" and 2am on a weekend night. It's their house. They're generous enough to let me live there after I should've been long gone. And clean my clothes, feed me, cook for me, give me garage space for my car etc.
Not their decision. You can get a job and move out.0 -
Do you have a job? if not get one. You are able to get to wrestling training, so why can't you get to get your drivers license?0
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There is no easy way out of this but to leave. Find a friend, friends parents or relative that will give you a start. Get your DL, Job and start living like an adult. I have an 18 year old son that has more privledges than you and he is still a senior in HS. Your parents are dragging you down, only you and them know why. You will be there with no job, no car and no life for a long time until you do something. NOW before you wake up 40 years old and think WTF happen to my life.0
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Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .
If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.
The OP should seek some professional help, starting with DCF and/or family counselling or a hot line. . Start there and they should be able to direct you to agencies and/or charities that can help you.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .
If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.
The OP should seek some professional help, starting with DCF and/or family counselling or a hot line. . Start there and they should be able to direct you to agencies and/or charities that can help you.
It's not easy for anybody to move out and get their life started. I got a cheap apartment with my boyfriend and we split bills, I did telemarketing initially (they'll hire anybody) and used that to progress into quality control with a different company which then led me into a management position. I saved money and bought my first car for $800 cash. Second car I saved more and bought it for $6k cash. Save money, be smart, be determined. It's not easy but she is clearly just blaming her parents instead of trying. I'm younger than her.0 -
I moved out when I was 16. You're over 18 and a legal adult. They can't make you stay. You're choosing to stay. This is a you problem; not a parent problem.
The first time you may be a "victim"; but if you stay you become a willing participant.0 -
Nope, not all "22 year olds"......just you......\m/0
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Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .
If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.
Just because it's not easy doesn't mean it's not a valid suggestion.
usually the toughest decisions are the ones you look back on later in life and are glad you made. life is risk.0 -
So you're saying your parents won't let you get a job, move out, learn to drive or date? Do you go to school? If they're paying for school, then that's a bit hard because that's probably a condition of going to school. HOwever, if you're not going to school....what are you doing? If you aren't in school, get a job & move out as mentioned. They have to let you grow up; you're an adult.0
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You're 22 and only questioning these things now? You may be part of the problem, dearie!
What would they do if you DID get a job? HOW exactly do they prevent you from getting a job or getting a permit? Please, explain. They've obviously granted you internet access.
Are you asking permission? I'm SO confused.0 -
Just because it's not easy doesn't mean it's not a valid suggestion.
usually the toughest decisions are the ones you look back on later in life and are glad you made. life is risk.
THAT'S WHY I WRESTLED MY FAMILY TO DEATH
DENY ME MY LEARNER'S PERMIT WILL YOU???0 -
1. Get a Drivers license.
2. Get a job.
3. Get your own place to live.0 -
Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .
If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.
The OP should seek some professional help, starting with DCF and/or family counselling or a hot line. . Start there and they should be able to direct you to agencies and/or charities that can help you.
Again, we seem to be on the same page.
Furthermore, how do we know that "grandma" can help?
Anyway, OP you do not need your parents approval. You are 22 and this kind of control is not normal.0 -
I wish I could have seen the original post0
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I'm 23 and I moved out of my parents house 3 years ago, not because I didn't like them, I love them and their rules weren't strict at all, but they kept me safe. I moved out because I was an adult, I didn't need to live with them anymore, I could take care of myself.
they want let me move that's the pointIf you live with your parents, your parents house, your parents rules. Don't like it, move out.
I lived with my parents until I was almost 25. You bet your butt I was home before midnight on a "school night" and 2am on a weekend night. It's their house. They're generous enough to let me live there after I should've been long gone. And clean my clothes, feed me, cook for me, give me garage space for my car etc.
You're 22. You are an adult. You do not have to ask for permission to move. If you don't like your conditions, leave.0 -
In NO way do I mean any disrespect to you OP but I think there is much more going on here than being 22 and having rules. My best friend's brother is 22 years old and he cannot live on his own, he thinks he is an adult and shouldn't have rules but his PROFESSIONALS that assist him daily say differently. Sorry but either you are super super sheltered and need to escape or there is some VERY GOOD reason that you are living at home and using words like "Goodest". I'm sure your parents are looking out for YOU... don't like something? Sit down and talk to them about it. ... again, not trying to disrespect you but sounds like you have REASON to be at home.0
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I'm going to stop trolling for a second and ask an honest question because it may make a difference in how people respond.
Do you have a disability?0 -
I'm going to stop trolling for a second and ask an honest question because it may make a difference in how people respond.
Do you have a disability?
I thought the same thing....0 -
why are you still living with your parents at 22? If you don't like their rules then move out. Sounds like your parents are either 1) helicopter parents 2) you've shown little independence or 3) some combination of the two.
^^ This.
I moved out of my parents house when I was 18, bought my first home when I was 20.
If for some bizarre reason I had to move back in with them, I think I'd rather live on the streets0 -
I understand your frustration with strict parents... but at the same time... their house, their rules... If you are so unhappy there, why not get a full time job and move out? I moved out when I was 22... like 3 months after I graduated college and had time to save up a little money. Sure I had to live on a strict budget... but it was worth it for me.0
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I'm going to stop trolling for a second and ask an honest question because it may make a difference in how people respond.
Do you have a disability?
My whole family does actually as in my parents which my mom also has server seizures which neither of them work0 -
I'm going to stop trolling for a second and ask an honest question because it may make a difference in how people respond.
Do you have a disability?
I thought the same thing....
My bad. There you are OP!
Do you have seizures too? My BFF from hs didn't get her license until she was much older bc of seizures. Maybe your parents are protecting you bc of this? 0 -
Just curious, what kind of reasons do your parents give you for not wanting you to move out or increase your independence? I have a sneaking suspicion there's a little more going on here that you're not telling people.0
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I'm 21 and I live at home. I have a curfew, I do chores, and follow rules. In return I get to live at home rent free while I attend college that is only costing me 10% of tuition because my dad works for the college I attend. I do not like that sometimes, if people have to be up early the next morning, they want me home at 10pm so my dog doesn't cry waiting for me to get home. I understand, however, that it's a respect thing and so I come home on time. I could move out any time I want to, but I'm willing to deal with curfew at 21 years old because of the other benefits.
Is it easy to move out? Oh god no. But you can start your own credit line easily. You don't need their permission to get a DL, have a friend take you to the DMV.
If you have a disability of some sort that's a completely different scenario. I couldn't read the original post so I don't know the situation, but talk to your parents if that's the case, that you feel like you aren't being allowed to advance, and maybe you can work something out. Being an adult is all about communication.0 -
Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .
If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.
The OP should seek some professional help, starting with DCF and/or family counselling or a hot line. . Start there and they should be able to direct you to agencies and/or charities that can help you.
It's not necessarily easy, but it can be done. You need to set goals, plan how to achieve them, and then stick to the plan. Start with a single goal, and then reverse engineer what you need to do in order to achieve it. There might be other things you need to do first, which is fine - plan out how to achieve those, etc. Keep working backwards until you get to something you can do right now, today. Then, work the plan. It might take time, even a year or more. But if you don't start now, achievement of the goal will just keep receding off into the future.
Yes, you're 22 - that's as much an opportunity as it is a constraint. You have everything in front of you. The decisions are yours. Work to get yourself in a situation where you're not dependent on your parents. Then you'll have your freedom.
Best of luck. This is something many people go through, and you actually have a lot more control than you think. (Assuming your parents aren't actual wack-jobs who lock you in the basement and feed you through a slot in the door...)0
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