Skewed self image - how do you deal with it?

mkwalk

So I'm stuck in a rut. Not so much diet wise - I'm doing pretty well (all things considered, including Halloween and a party at work with Costco cake), but in my perspective of myself.

I often feel like I'm disgusting and awful and not worthy. I started out at around 250 a bit over a year ago, and I've dropped 50 lbs. At 5'7'', I'm a solid size 12 (smaller than I've ever been as far as I can remember), I can run 5 miles, I play sports like crazy, and I'm very athletic. However, this hasn't helped much. I still see myself in pictures and cringe. I don't feel any different from the size 18 behemoth that I was.

I constantly look at other people and wonder how I compare. It's gotten obsessive. When I look at other size 16-18 people I'm not repulsed by them, just myself. I stopped dating a wonderful person mainly because of distance. I can't see myself dating again - I thought about trying, but at this weight and size, I feel like I can't be appealing to anyone. I'm irritated that I'm putting my life on hold to get this done, but I hate where I'm at now and I think it'd be disastrous to do anything but that.

I'm stymied by my situation. The whole thing seems silly and self absorbed, but it completely consumes me. Outwardly, I'm getting better (albeit so so slowly). Inside, I'm a wreck. Has anyone else dealt with this? Any ideas or solutions? I can't remember the last time I've felt like someone worth investing in, and it is ripping me apart.

JasonDetwiler

Before and after or progress photos are great for reassuring your progress and creating short term goals. I send my progress photos to a trainer who is a competitive body builder to honestly assess my progress. I am never happy with my pics, but getting the objective responses from my trainer on what is improving and what areas still need work, or what areas are getting worse, makes me reassured and focused.

That being said, you can't "put your life on hold to get this done." This has to be part of your life. Otherwise, what's going to happen when you "resume" your life after you get to your goal? I think you know the answer to that.

WRT dating, don't try to date. Just be the new you. The new you will feel good about herself and exude confidence. Just be that person and you won't have to worry about trying to date. Dudes will have to try to date you.