Dating as a BBW

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  • DontWeightStartNow
    DontWeightStartNow Posts: 58 Member
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    I felt that way too. So I decided to try a bbw site so I could eliminate that insecurity. It worked, I met my fiancee on there and he's wonderful. We wanna lose weight together for our health but I know he loves me for me. No matter what. He'll love me fat, he'll love me skinny, he'll love me every day inbetween.

    Awesome!!!
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    Bump
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    To be perfectly honest, if you are not confident and if rejection would really bother you, I would suggest against online dating.

    Online dating is a numbers game and getting more rejection than acceptance is just part of the process.
  • TorontoDiane
    TorontoDiane Posts: 1,413 Member
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    Lita

    All I can tell you is just love yourself alot.. put yourself first and do a lot of wonderful non food treats such as manicures, pedicures, find a fitness outlet, great hobby and pamper you !!!!

    as far as a man is concerned.. work on your self esteem.. you are not meeting the right type of man it seems..

    meeting only men who are into voluptuous women is helpful and there are sites for that.. however it seems you are wanting to improve who you are as a woman because you do not feel good about your weight issues.

    I am a volptuous woman and I have never seen my weight as being an obstacle for not living my life properly. In my world travels, I have climbed pyramids, scuba dived and I am a very outgoing woman.. Look inside yourself and love who you are before you seek love from someone else of the opposite sex and when you do venture out in the dating world, you will be really in a position to enjoy yourself.. but take a bit of time to feel really happy and positive about who you are and what you can offer the potential man who deserves to be in your life.
  • Mollie007
    Mollie007 Posts: 73
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    I just thought i would say this cuz its something i've noticed.

    BBW women love posting pics of themselves from the cleavage up. Then you go to meet them and find out they are more than what you expected.

    I love thick women, i really do, but if you are a bbw, let it all hang out so people arent suprised when they meet you. You're better off disclosing what you look like first.

    Ditto!! Put some "real" pictures of yourself on your profile and then send some messages out. Then you will know if someone is truly interested and not just a superficial *kitten*. I also would rather someone just not reply rather than sending me a message back saying they are not interested.
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
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    I know plenty of women of all sizes who found love online. I know what you mean about self-confidence getting in the way. I think I would just remember that physical appearance, while definitely a major factor in initial impressions, isn't truly everything to the right people. If you don't get a response to a request or a wink, it's not just because of how you look. It might be the words you used, your interests, or something in your profile that doesn't work for someone out there.

    Keep at it! And try to remember that EVERYONE gets passed over in one way or another on those online sites, not just you! :) Good luck. Hope you find someone fun to spend time with!
  • shae68143
    shae68143 Posts: 422 Member
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    Bump
  • MissMaryMac33
    MissMaryMac33 Posts: 1,433 Member
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    This happens just as often when you're no longer a BBW --- :)
    I used to think it was my weight, now I just think men are mostly just jerks looking for someone half their age to get a roll in the hay. Most of them are married or involved and lying about it. Online dating sucks!
  • UsaJewels05
    UsaJewels05 Posts: 229 Member
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    I would just let it roll of your back. Most of those that do not want to give you the time a day you do not want anyways. I was on A LOT of those different sites and had dates, and a couple serious relationships, then I met my now husband on Match.com! I never would have thought I was in his "league", so I saw him on there for months and never did anything. Then he messaged me, and we fell in love and were engaged 3 months later, yes 3 months later, and married a year and a half after that. So all I have to say is PUT yourself out there, cause sometimes guys are just as worried about the rejection, and if you do not get a reply back at least you tried.
  • itsmyvwbeetle
    itsmyvwbeetle Posts: 272 Member
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    Just try not to take it personally when you get no response. They are complete strangers, and are not rejecting YOU really, just a very tiny part that you have put out there to be seen.

    This!! I used to do some online dating. I got a lot of responses from guys that didnt interest me (age, profession, cockiness in the ad). I didnt respond unless they sent me more than 1 message. If the attraction isnt there then for me, nothing else could ever come from it. PIctures dont say everything but they say alot. In my ad I was always completely honest and open and I would sent out messages to some hotties and never got a reply. It bothered me at first but then I realized I was better off without them anyway. I want the one that goes "WOW I've got to get to know her!!" Not the one that writes me back as a courtesy.

    Keep on trucking!!!
  • UticaBoy51
    UticaBoy51 Posts: 344 Member
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    There is a guy out there looking for you, you just haven't crossed paths yet. Keep working on yourself and the rest will happen when your self confidence reappears.

    BTW, what does BBW stand for?
  • vkruithof
    vkruithof Posts: 227 Member
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    I always figure its just that I'm not their type. Doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you or I, we just aren't 'it' for them. It takes all kinds, and everyone has different attractions. Don't beat yourself up, but you will not move ahead unless you make a step. Good luck!
  • TorontoDiane
    TorontoDiane Posts: 1,413 Member
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    There is a guy out there looking for you, you just haven't crossed paths yet. Keep working on yourself and the rest will happen when your self confidence reappears.

    BTW, what does BBW stand for?

    it means:

    Big Beautiful Woman
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
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    I feel ya! Finding a decent that is actually a grown up, and doesn't spend 24/7 in his parents basement playing video games is hard enough, let alone guys who will want to date us chubby chicks!

    I agree to put up full body pics though... I would WAY rather be rejected before I actually know and like the person, then after we have been chatting for a while, I start to like him and we actually meet, because he can't handle my bootyliciousness

    Try expanding your search to include the closest big city... I live in a small town where available men are hard to find... let alone desirable men who would want to date ME in return.

    I also try to be pretty realistic on the guys that I will initially message... I know that I'm not a 10... I don't message guys that are a 10.

    Good luck! you can add me if you want and at least we can be rocking chubby chicks together!
  • ladytinkerbell99
    ladytinkerbell99 Posts: 970 Member
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    Hey its definitely tough, ESPECIALLY online.

    Most men, unfortunately, are superficial *kitten* when it comes to online dating. I met my wife off Match.com, but before I met her I was rejected / ignored etc from plenty of women. It happens and unfortunately most people will rather just dismiss a polite message than answer with a no thanks. Personally, I would take a no thanks harsher than no answer at all, but to each his own.

    I'm not sure if I was able to help at all, but all I can say is hang in there and that someone will be waiting to be matched with you!

    Good luck!

    ^ Thank you for your post. I have not been on the dating sites yet. I will be more prepared. Thanks. :flowerforyou:

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