frustration to the point of tears.. help!

MostlyWater

You should list what you're eating and make sure it's mostly fruits, veggies, low fat protein, and some whole grains. And change your exercise to include some weights, not just cardio.

artd9312

I did a lot of reading and researched the TDEE / BMR numbers, etc. as I had been eating the recommended 1200 cals for months. I did really well at first and lost 7 lbs pretty quickly. then nada.... I couldn't figure out why since I was only eating between 800 - 1200 cals per day net. Doesn't a large deficit equal large weight loss? Not for me...

After spending a lot of time on different websites, and doing different calculators, here is what has worked for me:

http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

I didn't want to base my numbers on exercise that I MIGHT do, even though I'm consistent, so I factored in my TDEE at the Sedentary rate - 15% (I don't have much to lose).

I am 5'5" and currently 136 lbs. My BF is 22.7 % and am 40 years old. I went to the Scooby Workshop website to calculate my calorie needs for the day and use those numbers. If you know your bodyfat % then a more accurate calculation is using the Katch-McArdle formula according to them. These stats give me:

BMR - 1405
TDEE - 1686 (at Sedentary)
Calorie Requirements to lose 0.5 lb per week - 1433 (this is at a 15% deficit)

Sooooo, what I did after that is reset my MFP daily goals at 1450 cals per day NET! I eat back ALL of my exercise calories.

The second thing I did was purchase a HRM to accurately guage what I was burning during my workouts. You would be surprised at the discrepancies between estimates! I do an intense bootcamp class 3 x per week and run on my off days. Either a few miles or sprint intervals, depending on how I feel that day. Depending on what we are doing in bootcamp, my burn could be anywhere from 240 cals to 350 cals....WAY under what I thought!!! If I was to eat back what I GUESSED I was burning, then I would be eliminating any deficit I had for the day. Keep in mind that the muscle you're building will burn more calories at rest, and you get a great 'afterburn' from weights that will last for hours after, so even though you're not burning as large of an amount during your workout, the after effects far outweigh doing just straight cardio!!! Heavy lifting is the best thing you can do for your body!! I used to do both on the same day, but have stopped doing that. A little bit of something 6-7 days per week is better than a huge amount of exercise 3-4 days per week. (for me anyway).

The last thing I do is stop stressing and trust the process. I eat whatever I want and try to make sure that it fits into my calories for the WEEK. I've been eating Halloween chocolate like it's going out of style (yesterday that's all I had for lunch), and I was down a half lb this morning. I was way over my calories on Sunday, and was under Monday and yesterday. The little weekly graph on MFP shows me at an average of 1453 cals per day for the week so far.

I weigh myself every morning, but only log the progress if it's less than the last entry. sometimes there will be 2 weeks of no change, but then all of a sudden there's a 1 lb loss showing on my graph. If I take the total loss and divide it by the amount of weeks, then I AVERAGE a 0.5 lb loss per week. This way I can see the trend with water retention, etc. I don't stress if it's up.

This method has been easily sustainable for me....slow and steady with zero deprivation!!

Hope this helps, and good luck to you!!

An absolutely fabulous reply to the original post - great advice.

joannathechef

I would go back to basics and re-assess your BMR and TDEE - eat 515 less a day than your TDEE and you will lose a pound a week....
1030 = 2 pounds (hard to do for long)

Take your target weight as the entry to the TDEE calc - eat like you would if you are already that size or enter your current weight and keep adusting you calorioes down as you lose.

There is no information on your profile so I can not advise you more that that.

But it is all about claories in and calories out - you are probably just eating too much either by bad measuring or too many cheat days or your goal is wrong....

Check you goals
http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/ibw/

YogaNikki

I suspect you're building muscle.

Lol, my thoughts exactly.

erickirb

I suspect you're building muscle.

Not with tae bo she's not

californiagirl2012

I am in some serious need of help. I've, somehow, gained 5 pounds in the last month or 6 weeks. As far as exercise is concerned I was only doing about 20 minutes of tae bo a day. I saw the scale was starting to go up, so I went out and bought a new tae bo DVD and I now do 40 minutes a day! Since I started doing the 40 minutes I've gained another 3-4 pounds!! I am in tears and so frustrated! I was eating between 1100-1300 calories during the week.... some more on the weekends. A friend of mine said I was not eating enough, so now this week (Mon and Tues) I've been eating between 1600-1700. I am too afraid to step on the scale, but I definitely do not feel like it's working. To be very honest, I was comfortable at that 1100-1300 calories a day and moving up has been annoying, probably because I'm really doubting it will work.

What ever happened to the age old truth that if you exercise your tail off and eat less you'll lose weight?

Help!

I used to think this! I spent 15 years being frustrated. You would think I would have given up but I'm quite stubborn. A lot of people told me to give up. I ran marathon after marathon and even ultra marathon, lifted weights, martial arts, hiking, cycling, boot camps, you name it, and even still gained weight and it didn't seem like I ate too much. I never binged or pigged out or had emotional eating issues, I am just small with a low RMR and didn't realize it. You can not out exercise too many calories. Losing fat is all about calories.

Your BMR could be lower than you think. You could go to a lab and have this tested. It's the only way to know for sure.

There is no mystery to weight loss, everyone thinks something is wrong, their metabolism is broken, they have low thyroid, they have menopause or whatever issue, they are as unique as a snowflake, whatever. I thought a lot of these things once too but once the doctor helped resolve the health issues for me I learned there is still no magic pill. Most people eat more than they need to and are not at good at estimating calories as they think they are. Most people have a lower BMR than they think they do. The only way to know for sure is to go to a lab and have it tested. It doesn't seem fair to have to eat less and feel a little hunger. It's hard to face the truth of it, very hard. It's not fun. It's drudgery at times. But if you learn to enjoy your smaller amounts of food (necessary to lose weight, since the reason we got fat in the first place was eating too much whether we knew it or not), and rejoice in your victories it can be done.

All I can do is share what worked for me. I achieved my goal at age 50 after beating my head against the wall for 15 years. Yeah anyone can do it, but I can tell you that you are up against a lot when you are older and I believe females have some unique issue to face with hormones and such. The sooner you can get a handle on it the better. DO NOT GIVE UP. As I got older and the weight piled on (and I didn't feel I was eating too much!) everyone kept telling me to give up, this is what happens when you get older. I'm small, and I didn't realize how small I was until I lost the weight. Everyone said I had big bones. I looked hefty because I worked out. Once I lost the weight I realized how small I really was and that small people don't need to eat as much as big people. HINT: If you are short you are probably small.

Your body loses weight in chunks, not linear. I have found that you can do everything right and your weight loss seems to plateau but if you are patient and keep exercising and eating at a deficit (however slight) you will lose it, it will suddenly "whoosh". There are so many variables for the scale; water retention, digestion, hormones, allergies, sodium, carbs, water intake, DOMS, inflammation, the list goes on. People mistakenly think they lose or gain weight when they eat more or less because of these fluctuations.

Losing weight requires tremendous patience. You will not lose it when you want it or where you want it. The body does its thing. Some apparent plateaus can last a month or so. You cannot make it happen faster. You must focus on two things; calories and exercise. Nothing else matters. Scales and metrics don't matter. The day in and day out grind of exercise and calories are all that matters. It is not very exciting until things fall into place. You get your victories and you ride one victory to the next.

The scale is a trend tool. The scale is good but put it away and only check once a week and only use it as a trend tool. It will fluctuate, it does not matter. Take front side and back progress pictures at least once a month. You will see differences that the metrics won't tell you and it's that little bit of NSV that will keep you going until the next victory.

To say eat more is wrong.

To say eat less is wrong.

To find the exact calories needed for YOU to be in a healthy sustainable calorie deficit is the right answer. Wait, if you need to adjust by 100 do it, wait, adjust, wait, adjust, wait. The tortoise wins this race.

All that matters is calories. A healthy balanced diet within a calorie budget for a deficit that is right for YOU is all that matters for weight loss. Don't make it complicated.


Also people play mental accounting games with calories just like with finances. Make steps to make sure you are making accurate measurements. Packaged foods can have MORE than they say but not less (they get in trouble if less so they would rather error with MORE).

If you typically intake sodium at a certain rate your body adjusts, but if you make a sudden change then you will see a spike.

Exercise is for making your lean body mass pretty (especially lifting weights) for when the fat is gone. Losing fat with no muscle is ugly and cardio alone will not make you pretty. You cannot out exercise too many calories.

It really is about calories. I tell people this all the time and they say "Well if calories are all that matter why do you eat so clean???!!" Well, because it makes me feel better, sleep better, and perform better at my sports.

Too many changes at once can be hard on some people. I've always eaten healthy so it easy for me to simply eat less. Eating at a calorie deficit is hard on people; even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such. Everyone is different. Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others, this is not right or wrong, it just is. Stress in your life affects your hunger hormones; lack of sleep, fatigue, job stress, family stress, financial stress, etc. Add in emotional eating issues and it gets even more complicated. Most people can only handle so much change/stress at once, they try to do too much and fail. Sometimes it might be a better strategy to eat at maintenance and make some small changes first, it really depends on how much stress you are taking in at the moment.

What is the exact number of calories for you?

We’ve been trying to figure out an exact NUMBER of calories that everyone should be eating, without recognizing that everyone is slightly different. In truth, the calories aren’t the end game. Your body is. So the EXACT amount of Calories that are right for you is the EXACT amount that will allow you to maintain your ideal bodyweight no matter what some calculator or chart says.

In other words, an online calculator might tell you that you need to eat 2,500 calories
per day to maintain your ideal bodyweight. But the only way to know for sure if this is
the right amount for you is to test it out. If you gain weight or can’t lose weight eating
that much, then you know you need to eat less to lose weight no matter how many
calculators and text books say otherwise.

This doesn’t mean your metabolism is broken, it just means the estimate of your needs
was just a bit off.

-John Barban (The Body Centric Calorie Guide from the Venus Index and Adonis Index Manuals)

The good thing is you don't have to worry about the starvation mode myth if you are fat. Only skinny people have to worry about starvation mode. It does not mean you have the capability to eat at a large calorie deficit if you have emotional eating disorders or other issues going on, but at least you don't have to be afraid of it anymore.

The Theory of Fat Availability:
•There is a set amount of fat that can be released from a fat cell.
•The more fat you have, the more fat can be used as a fuel when dieting.
•The less fat you have, the less fat can be used as a fuel when dieting.
•Towards the end of a transformation, when body fat is extremely low you
may not have enough fat to handle a large caloric deficit anymore.

At the extreme low end, when your body fat cannot ‘keep up’ with the energy deficit
you've imposed on your body, the energy MUST come from SOMEWHERE. This is
when you are at risk of losing lean body mass during dieting (commonly referred to
as ‘starvation mode’). This happens at extremely low levels of body fat, under 6% in
men and 12% in women [Friedl K.E. J Appl Phsiol, 1994].

-Brad Pilon and John Barban (from The Reverse Taper Diet in The Adonis Index and Venus Index manuals)

Lifting weights is KEY. I recently had my DXA scan done and at 51.5 years of age I have the bone density of a super athletic 30 year old. That is a direct result of lifting for over 30 years. Now if that is not scientific proof that lifting weights keeps you younger I don't know what is! Also I believe it is why most people think I look much younger than I really am.

Start lifting now, lift heavy and change it up often, find a lot of weight routines with free weights, make it fun, embrace it, make it part of your life. Only 3 days a week is all it would take. Crank up your tunes and learn to love it, because your body will love it and it will make your quality of life better in many ways, especially when you get older like me.

Because of this I don't have to worry about osteoporosis. If you wait until you are older and your bones start to deteriorate it's a bit too late, you can't get back what you lost, and you can only start a resistance routine that will prevent further damage.

If you are female you don't have the hormones to get big naturally. I lift heavy and I'm still really tiny. My lean body mass is only 104 lbs and that is fairly heavy for a 5'1" female, and quite a bit of this is due to my having very dense bones from 30 years of lifting, not all muscle, and I'm still quite tiny.

My muscles really are not that big, but they show a lot of definition because I'm quite lean. If I gained some fat then I would have a softer more toned look (which is OKAY too!). Then if I gained more fat I would look bulky and hefty like I did most of my life until last year. YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT. Lean and ripped, soft and toned, or hefty, it all depends on how much fat you leave on your body. Calories are the only thing that changes fat. Exercise is for changing or maintaining your lean body mass only. Lifting weights will give you the best bang for your buck for shaping your body. I finally changed my shape by putting lifting first and cardio 2nd. You cannot out exercise too many calories.

Stella2070

It gets really fun :grumble: when you actually start seeing the numbers drop on the scale but only in small increments....I overhauled my entire lifestyle about 6 weeks ago. Everything from eating habits to sleeping habits. I do an early morning quickie (anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes depending on time) workout that includes a little bit of everything (cardio, stretching and some extra easy strength training), I eat, to-the-letter, what is recommended I eat to get all the necessary stuff I need for what I want to acheive; then 4 nights a week I run the heck out of the elliptical followed by some weight toning (not training as I am not trying to gain muscle just definition)....I have lost 6 pounds since I started (4 of that since joining MFP). In the six weeks of losing 6 pounds, a couple of the weeks at my weekly weigh-in, I have GAINED close to 4 pounds according to the scale but with the next weigh-in it has been back on track. I use my favorite pair of jeans to gauge my progress. I now need a belt so something is happening. Also, I have noticed my fat is turning to flab (which calls for me to step up my toning efforts, a step I have yet to address) and there is minutely-noticable definition in my stomach so, again, something is happening. It just gets so frustrating when I see people that can drop like 10 pounds in no time and look amazing with, what seems to my blind eye, barely a tweak to their diets. But you have to just keep going forward and don't shed tears, find those positive things you see happening and give yourself that! Maybe just being able to do your workout without getting completely out of breath in the warm-up part of the tape even before the workout has began (another personal best for me- I got so excited when I realized I wasn't wearing out as quickly as I had the week before)!! Go find that postive- don't dwell on the negative!

tigersword

This thread is making me want to seriously bang my head into a wall.

YOU

CANNOT

BUILD

MUSCLE

ON A

CALORIE

DEFICIT

You can't build something out of nothing.

Gramps251

I suspect you're building muscle.

Not with tae bo she's not

Plus being in calorie deficit and female. My understanding is it is very unlikely these conditions will alow someone to gain muscle.

LadyIntrepid

Tae bo is pretty much straight cardio. Try adding strength training to your routine.

Stella2070

This thread is making me want to seriously bang my head into a wall.

YOU

CANNOT

BUILD

MUSCLE

ON A

CALORIE

DEFICIT

You can't build something out of nothing.

haha...a truer statement has never been told. I actually gained true weight when I first started trying to lose weight. I was eating like 900 calories a day and I working out like a crazy person 7 days a week. I should have had my head banged against a wall. After two months of this insanity and frustration, I finally got smart and researched everything and found out that I actually needed to eat...smart and sensible, of course, but eat!

bcattoes

I recently had my DXA scan done and at 51.5 years of age I have the bone density of a super athletic 30 year old.

This seems an odd statement. Was that the medical result? "a super athletic 30 year old"? I'm not doubting you, but after 30 years in health care I've never heard DEXA results given in that manner. Also, not all super athletic 30 years olds would have the same bone density, as more than just exercise affects bone density. Some slightly athletic 40 year olds may have better bone density than a super athletic 30 year old.

I am also 51.5 years of age, I only lift weights occasionally and they aren't very heavy (10-25 lbs). My bone density is also good (within healthy parameters with no signs of loss). Weights are great, but not required, for good bone health.

skyeliz525

Focus on how your clothes fit, not the number on the scale.

mommyweighless

Open up your diary....are you eating foods with lots of sodium?
Don't give up....no tears!!!!

Not related..sorry OP!

I love your ticker!

lizziebeth1028

I suspect you're building muscle.

Lol, my thoughts exactly.

Lol yep!!!! Who knew it's so damn east to build muscle:bigsmile:

lizziebeth1028

OP - it would be helpful and you will get better feedback if you open up your diary.

cricket_0408

I did a lot of reading and researched the TDEE / BMR numbers, etc. as I had been eating the recommended 1200 cals for months. I did really well at first and lost 7 lbs pretty quickly. then nada.... I couldn't figure out why since I was only eating between 800 - 1200 cals per day net. Doesn't a large deficit equal large weight loss? Not for me...

After spending a lot of time on different websites, and doing different calculators, here is what has worked for me:

http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

I didn't want to base my numbers on exercise that I MIGHT do, even though I'm consistent, so I factored in my TDEE at the Sedentary rate - 15% (I don't have much to lose).

I am 5'5" and currently 136 lbs. My BF is 22.7 % and am 40 years old. I went to the Scooby Workshop website to calculate my calorie needs for the day and use those numbers. If you know your bodyfat % then a more accurate calculation is using the Katch-McArdle formula according to them. These stats give me:

BMR - 1405
TDEE - 1686 (at Sedentary)
Calorie Requirements to lose 0.5 lb per week - 1433 (this is at a 15% deficit)

Sooooo, what I did after that is reset my MFP daily goals at 1450 cals per day NET! I eat back ALL of my exercise calories.

The second thing I did was purchase a HRM to accurately guage what I was burning during my workouts. You would be surprised at the discrepancies between estimates! I do an intense bootcamp class 3 x per week and run on my off days. Either a few miles or sprint intervals, depending on how I feel that day. Depending on what we are doing in bootcamp, my burn could be anywhere from 240 cals to 350 cals....WAY under what I thought!!! If I was to eat back what I GUESSED I was burning, then I would be eliminating any deficit I had for the day. Keep in mind that the muscle you're building will burn more calories at rest, and you get a great 'afterburn' from weights that will last for hours after, so even though you're not burning as large of an amount during your workout, the after effects far outweigh doing just straight cardio!!! Heavy lifting is the best thing you can do for your body!! I used to do both on the same day, but have stopped doing that. A little bit of something 6-7 days per week is better than a huge amount of exercise 3-4 days per week. (for me anyway).

The last thing I do is stop stressing and trust the process. I eat whatever I want and try to make sure that it fits into my calories for the WEEK. I've been eating Halloween chocolate like it's going out of style (yesterday that's all I had for lunch), and I was down a half lb this morning. I was way over my calories on Sunday, and was under Monday and yesterday. The little weekly graph on MFP shows me at an average of 1453 cals per day for the week so far.

I weigh myself every morning, but only log the progress if it's less than the last entry. sometimes there will be 2 weeks of no change, but then all of a sudden there's a 1 lb loss showing on my graph. If I take the total loss and divide it by the amount of weeks, then I AVERAGE a 0.5 lb loss per week. This way I can see the trend with water retention, etc. I don't stress if it's up.

This method has been easily sustainable for me....slow and steady with zero deprivation!!

Hope this helps, and good luck to you!!

What is TDEE? I cant wait to check this site out. Thank you!

Robin_Bin

TDEE is Total Daily Energy Expenditure.
For more common terms on MFP: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin/view/mfp-terms-introductory-274185

Bakerchk

Looks like you've got some good advice so far, so I won't go into what I think you should do.

However from my own experience, when I was eating 1200 cal/day I lost about 1lb per week for 3 months, and then plateaued, and then started to gain consistently. I bumped up my calories to 1600/day, started eating more consistently, including weekends and starting working out more (lifting heavy 3 days per week 30-45 mins each workout) I also started consuming LOTS of water and watched my sugar and sodium intake. I now eat 1600-1700/cals per day. Lots of fresh meats, veggies and fruits. I sleep 8 hours a day, and workout 3 days per week. I've lost another 8lbs or so since I plateaued. I'm down a total of 25lbs since I started and there are weeks I gain, and weeks I am stuck and weeks I lose. However, when I look at the weight in the long run, the numbers are getting smaller. You can do this, just stick to it! Best of luck!

thump418

I suspect you're building muscle.

Lol, my thoughts exactly.

I agree. My weight fluctuates by around 5 pounds all the time. While it does get me down sometime, i just remember that i am still losing inches....I was DJing a club last week when a patron came up to me and let me know that I need to stop losing weight because every time he sees me I am skinnier. i let him know that I had not lost any weight in the last 6 months. that I am just shrinking. Try not to get down about it. as you build muscle your weight will go up a little.