Dementia

chrissyh

Many of you posted on my status the other day....my mom was diagnosed with dementia.

I appreciate all of your support as this is something totally new to me - no other family history or experience with it. My best friends mother in law had it and my mom's best friends mother had it - both great resources for me.

What suggestions would you have for the best websites for info, books, etc? I want to be sure I am reading reputable information.

Or any other helpful advice is appreciated. So far she's still living alone...if the meds don't help that will change pretty quickly.

She started Arecept (sp?) Wednesday - how long before you saw results with your family members?

Thanks for your input!!!!

EmilyStrick

i don't have any experience with dementia, but i use www.doctoryourself.com all the time and have suggested it to many people for many different reasons. it is a website that talks about using mega-doses of vitamins instead of (or in tandem with) pharmaceuticals with an enormous amount of heavily recorded success. not sure if it's something you're interested in, but i always like to suggest it because the results can be phenomenal without the side effects of common pharmaceuticals.

nisijam5

Contact the MD who diagnosed her and ask for support groups in your area as well as reputable websites for information.

Secondly, contact social services and request a social worker...they can help you with a plan of care and services available thru the county.

Third, Get legal affairs in order: power of attorney, code status; such as, DNR, DNI, go over the five wishes with your mom while she is able to communicate her needs (this is a good guide for when she cannot make medical decisions for herself).

Good luck with all of this, it is very stressful...get the support you need

nisijam5

One more thing, I believe Aricept slows the progression...it doesn't reverse it.

Sardine239

Third, Get legal affairs in order: power of attorney, code status; such as, DNR, DNI, go over the five wishes with your mom while she is able to communicate her needs (this is a good guide for when she cannot make medical decisions for herself).

Yes, do this as soon as possible. My grandma suffers from dementia as well, and having the power of attorney is so important, get it as soon as possible. If she has a car, get yours (and maybe your siblings) name on the title, along with putting you name on bank and checking accounts.

chrissyh

Third, Get legal affairs in order: power of attorney, code status; such as, DNR, DNI, go over the five wishes with your mom while she is able to communicate her needs (this is a good guide for when she cannot make medical decisions for herself).

Yes, do this as soon as possible. My grandma suffers from dementia as well, and having the power of attorney is so important, get it as soon as possible. If she has a car, get yours (and maybe your siblings) name on the title, along with putting you name on bank and checking accounts.

This stuff concerns me....she doesn't own her car. If I am on her bank account, does that make me financially responsible for her bills...meaning if she messed up her checkbook am I responsible to pay her mistakes? I don't mean to sound greedy but I definitely don't have extra cash around to fix her mistakes...we're already working thru the first round getting the bounced checks squared away.

Everyone - as you probably were, I am so overwhelmed and I really appreciate your words of wisdom! Been a tough week!

BassBoneBabe

I believe there is a way to get your name on the account without being financially responsible. Call up her bank and see about talking to someone, they will know better than anyone.

nisijam5

I believe there is a way to get your name on the account without being financially responsible. Call up her bank and see about talking to someone, they will know better than anyone.

Better yet, get a financial planner and accountant so everything is legal and preserve as much as the assets as possible

chrissyh

I believe there is a way to get your name on the account without being financially responsible. Call up her bank and see about talking to someone, they will know better than anyone.

Better yet, get a financial planner and accountant so everything is legal and preserve as much as the assets as possible

That's not really an option for two reasons...she has no money or assets to pay someone for it.

catherine1979

I believe there is a way to get your name on the account without being financially responsible. Call up her bank and see about talking to someone, they will know better than anyone.

Better yet, get a financial planner and accountant so everything is legal and preserve as much as the assets as possible

This is what we did with my grandmother. Her financial planner was a trustee of sorts. He paid all of her bills and took care of her investments until the time of her death.

nisijam5

I believe there is a way to get your name on the account without being financially responsible. Call up her bank and see about talking to someone, they will know better than anyone.

Better yet, get a financial planner and accountant so everything is legal and preserve as much as the assets as possible

That's not really an option for two reasons...she has no money or assets to pay someone for it.

All the more reason to call social services

weaklink109

You are right to be concerned about putting other names on her accounts. For example, if someone puts their name on the account, gets into financial trouble and has to declare bankruptcy, her assets could get mixed up in it. Secondly, if there are credit accounts, everyone who is on the account can have information reported on their credit record--good or bad.

Also, while your mom is still fairly independent, have a talk with her about her accounts, business dealings, etc., so you know what you are looking for. This is much easier than trying to figure it out later when she may not be able to help you fill in the blanks.

A power of attorney will solve many of the problems you want to avoid. You will need to provide it to the bank, and any creditor that you will be dealing with. Do this SOONER rather than later. I work in the credit industry, and there is nothing more frustrating than seeing an account with a perfect record that has suddenly gone 2 months late, and the account holder is incapacitated, and you have a third party telling you they are "handling" things, but because there is no legal document on file and they are not on the account, we can't tell them ANYTHING about the mortgage being 60 days past due because it violates privacy laws, and we can't negotiate with them to bring it up to date.

Another option, if you don't want to be responsible for the financial issues, and don't want to turn it over to just one family member to deal with without some oversight would be contact her bank. In many cases, there is a trust department that can manage finances, pay bills, etc. They may also be able to refer you to resources elsewhere that can help with those kinds of things. Even if you do turn the day to day financial dealings over to another, a power of attorney is still something you need.

One thing I would recommend, if you do become the primary handler of finances is to have all of her mail come to YOUR address, so things don't get "lost." You can change the mailing addresses of her accounts, and to make sure nothing slips through the cracks, file a change of address with the post office sending her mail to your address. You will have to update that periodically as it drops off after a period of time. I think it is one year. This is important, as many seniors get things in the mail that are designed to confuse and make them think they "have" to respond by sending money.

I know you said resources are limited, but you can't afford NOT to get an attorney involved in the initial setup of your care plan. It is possible the bar association in your state has a referral service where you can get a referral to an attorney qualified in that area of expertise and the billing rate will be lower than if you just looked someone up in the book. I am most familiar with the Oregon State Bar Associations program that does this, but I would hope there are other states where this is set up.

Good luck. Your mom is lucky to have someone looking out for her.

JStarnes

POA (as far as the bank is concerned - I work customer service at a bank & you know we're both in NC) gives you the ability to make her banking choices for her, open/close accounts, transfer funds, add remove names/beneficiaries, write checks, authorize payments/drafts things of that nature without you having your name or SSN actually tied to the account since you won't be added as a joint owner - any ''problems'' that would occur with the account (say if she over draws it) will all still be tied to her, in her name, her SSN.

:flowerforyou: Hope this helps.

chrissyh

I did contact social services and they'll only help if someone has no family/friend that will. They were pretty much useless...talked to register of deeds about filing paperwork. She was pretty helpful. Also found some POA and POA-Healthcare/living will forms for NC from a site for that.

All this is great info

Jstar thanks for that tidbit - that helps releive my mind a bit!

nisijam5

I would keep pushing with SS, you may receive home health care benefits, day care, transportation or meals...Is your Mom on medicare? Yes, you are willing to help, but with no money available or income, you should be able to get some services from the state. Ask for a Social Services consult or referral from your MD. Make a list of things that you need help with and maybe they can refer you out. Push hard, they will fight it because they are over burdened. I am a nurse and see this all the time because I work with the elderly.

JStarnes

Dealing with SS in this state is next to impossible. :ohwell:

savvystephy

Well, since there was all this financial advice, I thought i would give a website.

http://www.alz.org/index.asp - The Alzheimer's association is a great place to start on learning about the disease. There they have information about the disease as well as medicare medication coverage. It also has listings for support groups and other resources. Alzheimer's and Dementia are hard diseases to see a loved one go through. I found it really hard when they still know they are forgetting - but they can't remember. Once they no longer remember that they are supposed to remember, it is a little less heartbreaking. It is a disease that wears everyone out who is around. So, just know that there are many out there dealing with this - you are not alone. There is always someone to talk to. :flowerforyou:

chrissyh

feels like so much all at once!

chrissyh

Silly question....my mom got the results of ber brain scan and there's no abnormalities...we won't see her neurologist again til March - should I call them and ask what that means or do any of you know?!?!

catherine1979

Silly question....my mom got the results of ber brain scan and there's no abnormalities...we won't see her neurologist again til March - should I call them and ask what that means or do any of you know?!?!

Did she have an MRI or a CT scan, do you know?

pinbotchick

I live in Michigan and am the financial/medical POA for my aunt. My aunt has memory loss from strokes. The advice you have gotten to get a POA and to have the mail come to your house is excellent. Is your mother still competent to make decisions? My aunt is able to make point in time decisions (when given all the options, she is able to pick the solution she wants) about her finances and medical wishes. I have found that writing everything out and having her sign and date the information helps to prove to her later what she decided. She forgets information 5 min after you talk about it. We have her living in an adult foster care. Dealing with social service in MI wasn't too bad. My aunt is too young for Medicare (only 63), does not qualify for disability (her life choice not to work in the 10 years before she got sick), or any regular social service programs. But, when researching adult foster cares (AFC), I learned that there is a spend down amount and payment to the AFC (qualifies her for it - since the doctor has stated she is unsafe to live alone) that will allow her to have Medicaid in the last week of each month. So we schedule all doctor visits and order medicine in the last week of each month.

I am sure you are overwhelmed. In our area the Alzheimer Branch does have a support group for caregivers. This would be your best place to get information on what others have gone through. I wish you the best of luck getting everything sorted out. Check with your area senior centers to see if they have any groups or any volunteers that can give you advice (a social worker volunteers at one near us to help seniors.)

If your mom is still competent enough to realize she has a problem, keeping a memory book (spiral notebook) may help realize who has called, stopped by to visit, what she has eaten, etc....

You are not alone. We are all here to give you support. :flowerforyou:

pinbotchick

As to your original question, I would wait until your regular appt with the neurologist unless there has been a change in your mothers status. At this time to the best of my knowledge, CT scans and MRI can not diagnose Alzheimer's Disease. The test was probably done to rule out other causes of Dementia such as stroke, Parkinson's Dx, etc. No abnormal findings probably means they did not find another cause for the memory loss. If it will ease your mind, call and talk to the nurse at the office. I did find I article that discussed PET scans that they think may be able to give a diagnosis for Alzheimer's Dx. It may be something to ask about at your next appt.

http://mentalhealth.about.com/cs/aging/a/alzheimerspet.htm

You asked about Aricept. When I worked at a rehab hospital, we would see changes within a week. There is a free support group on the aricpet website. People there maybe able to answer questions.

http://www.aricept.com/

chrissyh

Silly question....my mom got the results of ber brain scan and there's no abnormalities...we won't see her neurologist again til March - should I call them and ask what that means or do any of you know?!?!

Did she have an MRI or a CT scan, do you know?

I think it was a CT scan.

catherine1979

Silly question....my mom got the results of ber brain scan and there's no abnormalities...we won't see her neurologist again til March - should I call them and ask what that means or do any of you know?!?!

Did she have an MRI or a CT scan, do you know?

I think it was a CT scan.

OK, well, I'd like to preface this by saying that I am not a doctor, but I did a degree in neuroscience and I am a health care worker familiar with the process of diagnosis of the disease. They look for patterns of brain atrophy on CT, specifically in the hippocampus. There is a loss of brain mass associated with the disease. However, just because it isn't there doesn't mean she doesn't have Alzheimer's. Are they still in the investigation phase, or are they pretty confident she has Alzheimer's?

chrissyh

Silly question....my mom got the results of ber brain scan and there's no abnormalities...we won't see her neurologist again til March - should I call them and ask what that means or do any of you know?!?!

Did she have an MRI or a CT scan, do you know?

I think it was a CT scan.

OK, well, I'd like to preface this by saying that I am not a doctor, but I did a degree in neuroscience and I am a health care worker familiar with the process of diagnosis of the disease. They look for patterns of brain atrophy on CT, specifically in the hippocampus. There is a loss of brain mass associated with the disease. However, just because it isn't there doesn't mean she doesn't have Alzheimer's. Are they still in the investigation phase, or are they pretty confident she has Alzheimer's?

yes it's still the same diagnosis - that's where I was confused and we don't see the doc for a month so I was hoping to get some sort of idea of what it was - and you've done that ---thanks!

Mamakatspokane

One more thing, I believe Aricept slows the progression...it doesn't reverse it.

This is true. My Grandma was started on this but she had bad side effects. My Grandma had the disease for more than 10 years before she passed. I know their is all sorts of new things out there. A client of ours is getting ready to start experimental shots that could slow down the disease. I don't have any real advice just to say my thoughts & prayers are with you.:flowerforyou:

Phoenix_Rising

I would advise against using a POA you find online for can purchase and DIY, only because of the loopholes that may cause you problems after she is no longer competent. I'd try calling around to different attorney offices, explaining briefly the situation, asking how much they charge for a POA. You will need a pretty encompassing document, I'd imagine. If she makes very little, check with your local Legal Aid. If she makes too much, they might be able to advise you of a good attorney to use.

While a mail forward would work great, there is a fine line (that only you and your mom can determine) as to what is taking over her life versus being helpful. She may wish for you to run her finances, so it may not be a problem. Once you have that POA (and have it on file with all her creditors), you may wish to change the address on file to yours, having them send it C/O Your Name.

I wish you all the best. I think seeking out advice from those who have been there is the best path to help direct your steps.