Desperately Seeking My Lost Motivation

myoung1271

Good Evening - I am desperately seeking my lost motivation - have any of you seen it?

I am new here and joined because I have a Body Media Fit and learned that the device not works with this site. I had an account some time ago but there was not connection and therefore I stopped using it.

Anyhow, I am in a very frantic, sad place right now. In 2010, I lost almost 75 pounds doing Weight Watchers, I was unstoppable, or so I thought. My goal was in sight, I did have a long way to go but I was over the half-way mark for sure, back into onderland, and I promised myself never again would I allow myself to get that heavy again.

In early 2011 I suffered from a serious back injury, then there was major work stress, and to add insult to injury, my husband became very ill and was in the local hospital and subsequently transferred to a teaching hospital in a nearby state. I thought he was dying. Can you say STOPPABLE!? My entire regimen fell apart, I stopped attending Weight Watchers meetings, I stopped going to the gym, I stopped using my home exercise videos, quit all of my exercise classes, I stopped watching what I was eating, I had so much more to worry about than myself and abandoned ship!

Where that leaves me at the end of 2012 is a mere 10 pounds under the starting weight I was back in 2010. I understand that all of this is my fault and that I alone have to make wise choices. I feel and look terrible. I cannot seem to keep at it for more than a few days. I don't know what is wrong with me. I normally always loved exercise, healthy food, etc. Now, I can barely make wise choices, my gym membership continues to be paid despite never using it, I go to a few classes here and there but not like the old days, and I am so humiliated and embarrassed with myself, I hate myself, and feel like I am in some kind of proverbial black hole.I am tired all of the time and running on empty.

Just to give a little context to my life right now, I have a full-time career and work all day at work and then work more at home at night. My husband has health issues but he didn't die. We have a horse farm, have pets, and are always busy.

So what do I do? I don't know, I guess I will just keep trying despite the feeling of constant wheel spinning.....Sigh.

WinwillLose

Keep at it, I've been at it over a year and my weight loss is not what I wanted by I am so much healthier and I feel better. You need to keep the faith, sounds like you need to find some time in your life to take care of yourself. In doing so you will be better able to take care of your family. Can you downsize your responsibilities a bit to take care of yourself? Just a thought.

Thoughts and prayers for your journey, but you need to put yourself first for an hour everyday. Just one out of 24!

gothicfires

What do you do? Well you do.

You track your food, learn to eat healthy and go exercise, even when you don't feel like it unless you are in pain.

This is my second time around losing weight that I should have kept off in the first place. I've forgiven myself and gotten over that. But the first time I lost 30 pounds without 1 day of exercise by watching what I ate. I lost 10 more pounds during which I added walking 1.4 miles every morning before work.

This time around I am still watching what I eat and I already had a gym membership. I go on days that I don't want to go unless like today and tomorrow I have work that will be more important. But Friday and Saturday I will be back in the water. There are probably 100 different ways I could think off that I would rather spend my time, but I do enjoy going and for the most part get disappointed when I can't go.

So motivated or not, don't give yourself an excuse to fail. Log your food and find an exercise program that you preferably enjoy but at least don't hate. It will get easier as you go.

Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like.

rocketass99

Remember this is a life long journey for us. At least it is for me. There will be ups and downs. Put the bat down and stop beating yourself up. We can all do this together. Now that you are here, I am sure you will be unstoppable again. Feel free to friend me.

jerman01

Well that is quite a story. You need to remember that everyone has setbacks. We all suffer from a lack of motivation or discipline.

I have been up and down for years. A few years ago I weighed 165. Then with all the bad diet and no exercise, I went up to 230.

My blood work was horrible. My Dr. wanted me to take pills for control my levels. She kept telling me to lose weight and exercise.

Last Mar my wife asked me to diet with her. She felt that she could not lose any weight unless we worked together. I did understand. I really wasn't looking to start, but woke up on Mar 17th feeling sluggish and fat.

Started that day. A month later I found MFP and we started tracking everything we ate.

As of today, I have lost a total of 65 lbs. Got down to 161.

You need to get your mind right. Everything you do has to be around weight loss. I walk the stairs, no elevator. I use a push mower to cut my grass, no self propelled. More calories.


I have been told that I am too disciplined. I won't give on anything. Not one cookie. Not one piece of candy.

I know that if you lost 75 lbs before you can do it again. Get started. Don't make excuses or give in.

I have a few rules that I follow.

There are no days off from my Diet.
I don't care what anyone else eats.
I don't listen to my fat friends tell me that I am losing too much.

Now forget the past. Today is the first day of your diet. You can do it. Keep your attitude right. And remember, if you are never hungry, you are probably eating too much.

TipsyT

I highly recommend the 21 day free video training on mental toughness at www.fatloser.com. It takes about 10-20 minutes a day and for me it was life-changing. At first I didn't like the speaker, his style, the website, even what he wore but the information was EXACTLY what I needed to motivate me. I've lost almost 50 lbs now in the past 14 weeks and I don't see me stopping EVER again. I will be fit and weigh a healthy weight by 11/1/14. I know I will be because I know the only thing that can stop me is me (or God).

It's all up to you and the good thing is you're all you really need. :-)

Trish

Celeigh12

First, forgive yourself. People have lost their motivation over less than what you went through. :flowerforyou:

Second, just start taking care of yourself one day at a time. You were doing it before and you were going to have to do it forever once you lost the weight, so what's the difference if you start right now? There is no timetable, no deadline required, just day by day living a healthy life. It may take longer to get all the weight off, but eat sensibly and exercise moderately and you will be a healthier person. The weight loss is a happy side effect of that. A farm, horses, and pets? That's built in exercise right here. No gym necessary unless it makes you happy to do that. And isn't that the goal in all of this? A happy life? So stop with the self-hate talk. It's not helpful and I bet if you broke down all the things that make you you, the parts you really don't like are just a very small portion of who you truly are.

Come on, you can do this!

myoung1271

Wow, I am amazed at how quickly you all jumped on here to help. What an amazing group of kind people!

It sounds like the first step is for me to stop the self-loathing. Maybe that is the crux of the lack of motivation, almost like self-flaggelation. Maybe that is the key to starting over. Huh.

I have my Body Media Fit on, I wrote in the food diary for today, and I reached out, all positive steps I think.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I feel very lucky to have landed here tonight, it was not planned. I already feel a bit better. I tend to always care for others and neglect myself. I vow to take some time back, for me, on a regular basis again.

Rita_Rocker

Years ago I read a book by Susan Powter : Stop The Insanity! She was a depressed, overweight mom. She got sick and tired of being sick and tired and decided to do something about it...but what? I remember her struggles, how she was hard on helfself, beat herself up. How she was so desperate for motivation and what exercise to do with kids...she literally carried the kids down to the end of her street and back...she carried them! She did this over and over until she felt stronger. Then she built a program from there. Tiny steps. Learning that you DESERVE to be happy with your body.......what broken record is playing in your head? I can't do it? I will never do it? Search your soul...do you think you deserve to be thinner?

Your strength will come from within you.....not outside. Who motivates you? Who inspires you? Do you listen to movational CD's? Who is your hero? All good questions to ponder. There is strength inside you, you alone must find it. Are there people in your life stopping you (or making you think you can't do it)?

I could write a book on the broken record in my head that I have to fight. Been there for years and I have been nursing it like a wound that won't heal. I have lost 12 lbs. in 5 weeks and said to my Mom..."look, my butt is disappearing"...and she said with a smile..."you look great, now you can work next on your stomach"...! I always look pregnant..... WTF???

People tell me that I am so strong, but I was not born this way. I had to fight and overcome, and do it all again.
Bible teacher Joyce Meyer changed my life!!!! I suffer with depression, but mostly hide it and am a good faker.
But I can't hide from myself! I personally don't call it a "DIET"...this is a 4-letter word! I am just "choosing" to cut back sugar,
eat balanced healthy meals (mostly), work out with trainer 1x/week, work out 1 other nite for strength training and min. 200 min./week cardio! I feel amazing and it has only been 4 weeks of working out. My trainer looked over my food log last night...he said Wow....2 Ice Cream Sandwiches!!??? I said yes, and they were delicious!!! and laughed...I have been a sugar addict and junk food junkie for 20 years and he thinks I can just change it overnite?? Not happening...LOL.....but I have made the choice NOT to beat myself up over it.

Breakfast....2 eggs with oatmeal....work out 10 min./day....only....then build from there! Take baby steps and forgive yourself for mistakes....you are only human not a robot!!! 10 min. is a tiny start but it you commit to it you will do more. Don't let fear of failure stop you. You will be proud of yourself that you did SOMETHING...that will also motivate you from within.

You can do it!!! You have to believe in yourself!!! Rita

myoung1271

Thank you Rita, your post really hit home.....I needed it!

Jamdrgn

Your motivation found mine and is hanging out on the beach somehwere sipping drinks. I am precancer. I found out I was carrying five babies, lost all five. I had suffered depression and a sense of failure. I had lost a couple of pounds and i almost gained everything back. Now hurricane Sandy and the snow storm caused everything to be out of wack and i gained a few more pounds. Through it al i still have to work and take care of my pre-schooler. Where to find the time? I walk up and down 1 flight of stairs a couple times a day. I do stretches at my desk with a rubber resitance band. I use myfitnesspal to see what i am eating. If i am afraid to list it then i am not suppose to have. And now I am back! my old motivation can stay where it is. my new friends determination and willingness to try are here to keep me company.

WE can do this. a few minutes a day, whatever we can. You my friend are not alone. we are all here if you feel you can't do it by yourself.

myoung1271

Wow, you've been through a lot but are doing well again....very inspiring. Thanks.