Looking in the mirror again

WrathofKes

For a long, long, long, long, long (x100) time I have been afraid of mirrors (or really just any surface that I could see my reflection in). It got to a point in my life where I just covered up every mirror that I had to spend extended time around. For a long time this was a pretty big problem in my life. Not only that but it was pretty obvious to other people as well and they would tease me about whenever it came up.

I know one of the main reasons for my eisoptrophobia is that I hated and was afraid of what I saw in it. Sometimes when I was forced to stare at my own reflection it would cause actual pain and other awful, uncomfortable feelings that were more mental than anything else.

It looked like it was a problem that would continue with no end in sight and it would just ruin my life in small subtle ways.

Then I started making a serious effort to lose weight. And it was working.

Slowly and more slowly, passing by a mirror was less painful and more tolerable.

It could actually look at myself with more than just a quick side-ways glance to make sure the shifty mirror didn't go anywhere.

Now its not even a problem anymore. I mean it hasn't completely gone away, but its gone from being a painful, stressful, anxiety-ridden experience and turned into something that could be a little awkward but it more of "eh whatever" situation.

It may not seem like a big deal to most people. But it means a lot to me. I think it shows that slowly and more slowly I'm starting to not be so afraid of how I see myself.

I know losing weight has helped. I know I'm getting a small (but growing!) sense of confidence. And these two things working together are helping me conquer this fear.

For that I'm glad and I resolve to never go back to that place ever again.

Ever.

BeautyFromPain

So proud of you!
'
And I'm not afraid to admit it.. a lil jealous
I have been the exact same since I was about 13 years old.. even after losing 18.6kg/41lb I absolutely despise mirrors and everything about me. Oh well.

Was there anything other than losing weight which helped you shift the mental mindset?

beckarini

This is amazing news - it's great to hear that you're feeling better and less intimidated by previous times
Keep up the good work

WrathofKes

Was there anything other than losing weight which helped you shift the mental mindset?

One of the things that hepled me was that I wasn't passively thinking I would get better. It took some time but I had finally convinced myself that I need to get over this, if not for myself then at least so people would stop teasing me about it (people like my own family no less).

Once I decided that it was all about exposure. I would work myself up to do exercises like spending a short amount of time just looking at myself in the mirror. when I first started it was just an awful experience. But the more I did it, the easier it eventually became.

But even though I still got past my fear of it, I still have this habit of avoiding mirrors. So this whole process is still a work in progress.

Spiritwarrior3000

:blushing: Great work on your journey! I always look at myself in the mirror i have 5 mirrors just in my bedroom alone lol

WrathofKes

:blushing: Great work on your journey! I always look at myself in the mirror i have 5 mirrors just in my bedroom alone lol

That's just... too many mirrors. lol Just too many.