I need help :[

llWishfulShrinkingll

So I have a friend me and her met a few months ago at college...both freshman. We were both about the same weight and I decided I was going to loose weight. I have been working out 6 days a week and eating very healthy. I asked her a couple times if she wanted to work out with me but she said she had to focus on school so I left it alone. I feel no support from her at all. She is always eating fattening foods in front of me and offering it to me. She weighs about 20 pounds more than me. It took me like over a month to loose 20 pounds even after all the hard work ive been doing. I was very upset to find out she lost 20 pounds because she eats so bad and never works out. She keeps telling me that I have to give myself a day to eat whatever I want because it tricks my body or something like that. First I would feel very disgusting eating whatever I wanted and I don't know if she is trying to get me to eat like her or what but I am really confused and I want to know if she is telling me the truth or not because I might have to change the way i'm doing things.

SideSteel

So I have a friend me and her met a few months ago at college...both freshman. We were both about the same weight and I decided I was going to loose weight. I have been working out 6 days a week and eating very healthy. I asked her a couple times if she wanted to work out with me but she said she had to focus on school so I left it alone. I feel no support from her at all. She is always eating fattening foods in front of me and offering it to me. She weighs about 20 pounds more than me. It took me like over a month to loose 20 pounds even after all the hard work ive been doing. I was very upset to find out she lost 20 pounds because she eats so bad and never works out. She keeps telling me that I have to give myself a day to eat whatever I want because it tricks my body or something like that. First I would feel very disgusting eating whatever I wanted and I don't know if she is trying to get me to eat like her or what but I am really confused and I want to know if she is telling me the truth or not because I might have to change the way i'm doing things.

Eating whatever you want for a day does not "trick" your body.

californiagirl2012

So I have a friend me and her met a few months ago at college...both freshman. We were both about the same weight and I decided I was going to loose weight. I have been working out 6 days a week and eating very healthy. I asked her a couple times if she wanted to work out with me but she said she had to focus on school so I left it alone. I feel no support from her at all. She is always eating fattening foods in front of me and offering it to me. She weighs about 20 pounds more than me. It took me like over a month to loose 20 pounds even after all the hard work ive been doing. I was very upset to find out she lost 20 pounds because she eats so bad and never works out. She keeps telling me that I have to give myself a day to eat whatever I want because it tricks my body or something like that. First I would feel very disgusting eating whatever I wanted and I don't know if she is trying to get me to eat like her or what but I am really confused and I want to know if she is telling me the truth or not because I might have to change the way i'm doing things.

Don't ever compare yourself to someone else. We all have different bodies, different genetics, different RMR, different stresses, etc.

All that matters is calories. A healthy balanced diet within a calorie budget for a deficit that is right for YOU is all that matters for weight loss.

It really is about calories. I tell people this all the time and they say "Well if calories are all that matter why do you eat so clean???!!" Well, because it makes me feel better, sleep better, and perform better at my sports.

Too many changes at once can be hard on some people. I've always eaten healthy so it easy for me to simply eat less. Eating at a calorie deficit is hard on people; even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such. Everyone is different. Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others, this is not right or wrong, it just is. Stress in your life affects your hunger hormones; lack of sleep, fatigue, job stress, family stress, financial stress, etc. Add in emotional eating issues and it gets even more complicated. Most people can only handle so much change/stress at once, they try to do too much and fail. Sometimes it might be a better strategy to eat at maintenance and make some small changes first, it really depends on how much stress you are taking in at the moment.

To find the exact calories needed for YOU to be in a healthy sustainable calorie deficit is the right answer. Wait, if you need to adjust by 100 do it, wait, adjust, wait, adjust, wait. The tortoise wins this race.

For me it's all about a calorie budget. I had less of a budget available when I was losing weight, more to spend now that I'm maintaining and all the tools I used for weight loss come into play for the rest of my life maintaining.

When you have accumulated excess fat, you have accumulated a debt. It is hard to pay off the debt (you have less calories to spend). If you are sitting next to someone your same gender and height and they are not overweight and you are, they get to eat more than you (have more calories to spend) because they are debt free. You have less calories to spend because you are paying off your debt.

Being on a calorie deficit is hard. You can't do this journey on will power alone. You must set up your environment for success. Have a team around you in your real life, not just online. Get trigger foods out of the house. It will take some sacrifice and it's not easy. You might have to say no to some social events sometimes.

It might mean finding new friends to hang around with.

californiagirl2012

Also know that once you become successful people say things to sabotage your progress. They don't always mean to, but your success will trigger their own insecurities about their own failures. Most of what they say is about them, not you, because it's hard for them to watch you succeed when they are not.

boatsie77

So you've lost 20lbs in a little over month...I don't see a problem unless you are in some type of "race" with her--in which case, you've still got her beat by 20lbs...you're envisioning problems were there are none. Keep doing what's working for you and forget about what she's doing.

Playingwithfire89

I notice the whole not working out, eating crap and loosing weight thing with some of my friends. The more time i spend with them though, i realize that some people are REALLY good at skipping meals. So on any given day you might be eating 500 calories at every meal and ending the day at a healthy 1500. That same day she might skip breakfast and lunch and have 1000 calories of crap for dinner. You never know how people eat when there not with you.

an8e

It may not apply here, but I know of someone who deliberately ate rubbish in front of 'friend' but worked her butt off and ate well when she was on her own because she was a nasty b****.....

SideSteel

It may not apply here, but I know of someone who deliberately ate rubbish in front of 'friend' but worked her butt off and ate well when she was on her own because she was a nasty b****.....

I find this very amusing.

BradMadill

Californiagrl.........Probably one of the best responses I have seen on here. Well said.

llWishfulShrinkingll

Thanks Everyone for your replies :]

Ready2Rock206

YOU are YOU and only need to worry about YOU. You're doing terrific with your 20lb loss - keep up what you are doing and don't worry about her.

candirose69

don't stress it we are all different.
My IDENTICAL TWIN sister seemed to eat whatever she wanted and lost weight when we were younger I've ALWAYS been 5kgs heavier than her .
In one month we counted the cheese bugers she ate from maccas and it was 32 :S
My husband is also one of those people who live off choc biscuits and coke and it the size of my forarm XD

HananYako30

I TAKE ONE DAY OFF ONCE A WEEK FROM MY DIET I DO, BY END OF THE DAY I DRINK GREEN TEA (SANNA TEA) IS THE BEST.