I Propose New Measurement Rules

Aesop101
Aesop101 Posts: 758 Member
in Motivation and Support
Actually more like guidelines.

It seems to me that the current measurements like cups, tablespoons, teaspoons, liters, etc. just don't quite get the job done.

For instance, let's say you are out with your girlfriend at some burger biggie joint. Oh look who's here Honey! She turns to look and you quickly, stealthily grab some extra fries off her tray. I don't know that person. Oh gosh, thought that was your Mom. Looked like your Mom, hairy, beady left eye and dilated right eye as if she was on several mood enhancement drugs. My bad, let's enjoy your meal and the pleasantries. Now those extra fries should be called sneakers. 3 fries per sneaker.

Then what about that office party for the employee who is sadly leaving us. Lots of cake at those. Often we carefully measure the that 2 inch square piece and then grab 8 inches of border icing. I propose we call those strings. 6 inches being one full serving. So that would be one piece of cake plus a string.

What about the mishaps in life? We go for a late night snack and find cookies. Carefully we count out the 6 cookies that makes up one serving and puts us over our allowance by a smidge. But dang it we drop one on the floor. Those are called dusters. A duster becomes inedible once dropped on the floor. Therefore since it is inedible it's not food and hence does not count toward any calories even if consumed. Thus it would be one serving less the duster. Now you're under your allowance. All is right!

Now these are just guidelines so follow your heart.

Replies

  • gentlebreeze2
    gentlebreeze2 Posts: 450 Member
    hehehe... did you stay up all nite thinking about this? You are a riot... I'll be eager to see what others would like to add. Thanks for the laugh!!
  • gerripho
    gerripho Posts: 479 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • gerripho
    gerripho Posts: 479 Member
    Let's add encores. Like at 9 pm when you check your diary and are 19 calories under your goal. You give yourself a nice pat on the back and click the COMPLETE ENTRY button. It posts to your news feed that you completed your diary and were under your goal. Whoopee!!!!! 10 pm comes and you are just a bit peckish so have a small, oh very small, handfull of nuts, or just a bite or two of cottage cheese straight from the container. You don't bother weighing or measuring because it's such a small amount and besides, you've already closed your diary. These are encores! You go to a concert and don't get charged extra for an encore so it's like a freebee!
  • Aesop101
    Aesop101 Posts: 758 Member
    Let's add encores. Like at 9 pm when you check your diary and are 19 calories under your goal. You give yourself a nice pat on the back and click the COMPLETE ENTRY button. It posts to your news feed that you completed your diary and were under your goal. Whoopee!!!!! 10 pm comes and you are just a bit peckish so have a small, oh very small, handfull of nuts, or just a bite or two of cottage cheese straight from the container. You don't bother weighing or measuring because it's such a small amount and besides, you've already closed your diary. These are encores! You go to a concert and don't get charged extra for an encore so it's like a freebee!

    I like that!

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