How would you approach this?

lifeaccordingtolily

I may not have lost a lot of actual pounds but I have lost serveral inches. One of my co-workers pointed out to me that I needed to "suck it up and buy some pants that fit".......... lol.....(they were falling off my rear) So I went to my "skinny closet" ( I have been afraid to try any of it on) I have lost 2 pants sizes!!!!!! well now I have a closet full of clothes .............that after trying on ones that fit........ are too big...... Now big girls know our clothes are expensive...... so here is my problem....... my clothes are very trendy and well cared for... and I indirectly work with a girl who is a little younger than i am but is a big girl too...... How would you say "would you like my clothes they are too big for me?" I have asked a few people already and i just can't decide if she would be completely insulted or not........

Lily

kimber607

Ugh
I'm curious to see what others have to say
I've maintained my weigh loss for 2 yrs now (give or take a few up and down)
I have 2 friends that recently had babies and thought about offering my clothes but I just cam't bring myself to ask them

Maybe tell your co-worker you are cleaning out your closet and ask what size she is because if she wants, you would rather give her the clothes then toss them
I wouldn't say u are getting rid of your BIGGER clothes

MTGirl

Because nice clothes are expensive, most people are happy to get some in good condition. But, I agree - don't use the "too big" statement. Keep it low key and say something like I thought you may be interested before I donate them, if you want to take a look. The cleaning out the closet thing is great - she will know the truth, but it doesn't help to actually say it! You never know how people will react unless you ask. Otherwise, if she's not interested find a consignment shop - that way you can at least recover some $ from them!

iRun4wine

Here's a thought... would you be able to offer in a more general way rather than just offering only to her? For example, I'm not sure where you work, but could you send out an email to at least a few of the people you work with, or put a note up on a bulletin board, near the water cooler/copy machine... etc. and say something like:

"I have some clothes that I no longer want- they're all in great condition and are a size ___ (fill in the blank). I don't want to see them go to waste, so they're free to a good home. If you, or someone you know can put them to good use, please let me know! Sincerely, Lily"

That way, your co-worker won't feel like you specifically picked her out because she's "big" but that you're offering them to everyone. This way too, if your co-worker isn't interested, you may still find a home for them- maybe someone's sister, niece, neighbor, etc. could use them.

Just a thought- hope I helped :flowerforyou:

kgasser

I like kelynn idea, but you could even go with, hey, I have some clothes size___, do you know of anyone that would want them? That way you are not even insinuating that she might be that size, that way if she is bigger (sometimes it is difficult to tell) she doesn't have to say she can't fit them, but at the same time, she doesn't feel like she would be taking them from someone else. If you affer them to the office in general, she may not feel like she should take them...just my 2 cents worth.

jyt2573

I was recently in this situation, but on the other side. I commented to a girl at the gym that her pants were cute and asked her where she got them. As we got to talking, she said that she was a few sizes down and was thinking about putting her clothes on Craig's List. I immediately jumped in and asked if I could see them first. I got to "shop" her clothes and she never had to deal with the "you're bigger than I am" issue. It was a win for both sides..

Hope this helps!

drvvork

Keylen's suggestion is very good :drinker:
- I just gave some away and simply (because she is not one to take hand-outs) told her I cleaned out my closet and was tired of looking at them and wanted to know if she wanted them. She took them without a blink.

buggaboo73

I haven't read through the replies so if I'm repeating someone, I apologize. I would probably say something like, I've got some size abc to get rid of, it's nice stuff, do you know anyone who might like it? Then the ball is in her court, if she's ok with her weight or ok with sharing with you she'll say, hey I'd love to have them. But it leaves the decision up to her. Also then you're leaving your weight and her weight out of the discussion, your not saying OMG I've lost so much weight and you haven't, you want my 'fat clothes' LOL......you are simply stating a fact. I have a bunch of nice clothes, they are size .... period. Ya know? Good luck with whatever you decide to do! :flowerforyou:

thirtyby40

I would just casually mention that I had a bunch of really nice clothes that are hardly worn and still fashionable and what a shame it seems to get rid of them. If she is interested she will say something I am sure. Its hard. I know when I got bigger my mother in law was being nice and brought over a bunch of clothes that were my size, I have to tell you I took them all to charity. I didn't want to recognize where the gesture came from, all i could see was that she knew I was bigger now.

You could always suggest to all of your co-workers that if they know anyone who could use them that they are up for grabs. She may take that opportunity to take them too. Or she may be like I was and not want to accept that although they are nice clothes she would have to admit she is bigger than you.

saram21

First off, congratulations! I just found out I was able to fit into my "skinny jeans" again too and I know you are on cloud nine right now! You go girl! I would just start buy saying. "Hey, I've got a few peices of clothing I dont need, would you like to come over and see if there is anything you would like before I throw anything out (or donate?) You don't have to mention that It's because you've lost weight. If she mentions it just be kind of nonchalant about it. This way she wont be offended.

kelli_panzera

Well, I certainly wouldn't be offended. I've had people say,"Well, i've got all these clothese that don't fit anymore...I hate to take them to Goodwill- would you be interested in looking through them, or do you know anybody that might?" Maybe it's just me, but I love trandy clothes and they're not always so easy to find in larger sizes. Call me greedy, but I always get super excited! I never say no, then pass on what I can't use. I am always happy when someone thinks of me

cmw72

I admire the boldness of getting rid of the clothes that are now too big.

It's like Cortez burning his ships upon reaching the New World.

deedeehawaii

If you still enjoy the style of the clothes, you might consider having them tailored to fit you now that you are smaller!

As far as giving them away, maybe just simply say that you "have some nice clothes that you no longer can hang on to because you need the closet space", and "would she be interested if you brought them to work for her to take home and look through". That you "would appreciate it if she could share the clothes with others if she did not want them".

That way, there is NO reference to size at all. If she has any common sense at all, she will know that the clothes might fit her (since you were once her size). And, you are not giving her the obligation of taking the clothes with the expectations that she will wear them, you are just giving her the clothes with the expectations that SOMEBODY will end up making use of them.

It is nice that you are being generous, but don't forget my suggestion to have them altered to fit the new you.

leelu

clothes swapping parties are all the rage at the moment - you could make it a social event and ask a variety of sized women to bring clothes that no longer fit or not worn often - you might get to swap for some of the clothes that others have grown to big for as that is pretty common.... recycle and save on your new wardrobe too

lifeaccordingtolily

Wow all of you had such great suggestions for such a sensitive subject thank you very very much and I will definitely be putting your advive to good use.
Again Thank You LIly