Do you have people watching you to see if you eat?

thoseblueeyes

K so here is my beef !!!! I feel everywhere I turn around someone is watching me to see if I will eat. I really want to scream leave me alone I don't have a eating disorder . ( I really don't. I lost my best friend in high school because she had a a eating disorder. I wouldn't do that to myself or my family.) . I eat !!!!! Just because I eat very healthy ( like a plant based diet) doesn't mean I don't eat or that I don't eat enough calories. I really am getting sick of my family and friends always pushing food on me.

Does anyone have this problem? Please tell me how you are handling this.

I don't have a mean bone in my body but I sure wish I did cuz I would love to tell them off instead of crying in my room.

Contrarian

No.

misskittyfantastico1991

Well, can't say that I do.

But this might be something you want to talk to them about. It's pretty natural for them to check up on this if you are really skinny, they're just concerned

breeZrizi

i do

they think 1300 calories are not enough in the day. and yeah it a HUGE difference from what i used to eat. Its the comparison i think is what's freaking them out. I'm perfectly fine with a 1200 calorie day. im definitely not full but im alright

dont stress on it. we know how our bodies work. low cals and excersize is the way to go to lose weight. its working for me. others will judge but are they trying to lose weight? what they dont understand they will critisize. they dont have to like it

keep doing what youre doing girl!
eat healthy

astrampe

You are 44....If you eat well and there is no reason for your family and friends to worry about your weight, they are weird....But if you are the only one thinking you are eating enough and is at a healthy weight, and so many of your family and friends are worried enough to watch an adult woman, then maybe there is a problem....
Open your diary if you want an objective look from strangers....

cordianet

Are the folks making these comments heavy? If so, I've found it's often one part concern, one part ignorance on how we really should be eating, and one part jealousy. The point is, while there may be some genuine concern motivating this, often there are other things going on that no amount of convincing will change. I wish I had some great piece of advice here, but I think you're just going to have to grin and bear it.

cappri

I feel like people are paying way to much attention to what I eat, but not because they think I have an eating disorder. They are watching because they are convinced I must eat weird to have lost so much weight. It's annoying!

Faericn_Rising

Are the folks making these comments heavy? If so, I've found it's often one part concern, one part ignorance on how we really should be eating, and one part jealousy. The point is, while there may be some genuine concern motivating this, often there are other things going on that no amount of convincing will change. I wish I had some great piece of advice here, but I think you're just going to have to grin and bear it.

This

breeZrizi

Are the folks making these comments heavy? If so, I've found it's often one part concern, one part ignorance on how we really should be eating, and one part jealousy. The point is, while there may be some genuine concern motivating this, often there are other things going on that no amount of convincing will change. I wish I had some great piece of advice here, but I think you're just going to have to grin and bear it.

^^^^true

they may be ignorant and jealous of your weight loss

chubbygirl253

my sister is about 70 lbs less than me and 7 inches taller so I am definitely the fat twin. she eats what she wants and doesn't work out and I work out like CRAZY so the gap between our weights is lessening. It used to be 100+ difference. The closer I get to her weight the more she seems to be looking at me, and not in a supportive way. she always has comments when she sees me eating something she thinks I shouldn't. "you're eating pizza!!!??" It doesn't bother me that much but as I start looking slimmer than her I expect she'll start paying less attention to my diet and focus on her own.

thoseblueeyes

LOl Thanks guys I knew I could find some support with my MFP friends.

dinosnopro

Only my dog, but I suspect she is only hoping I drop some....

velsbree

People are jealous, you are using self control no excuses and losing weight \. that said at 44 you should not care what they think do or watch. simply do not engage in the conversation they will get tires of it and stop.

kenazfehu

Nope; it's been way too obvious that I eat.

mdearmond

my family does it to me constantly. I started eating better over the summer (cut out all fast food, soda, etc) and started training for a half marathon. The first time I went to my parents' house after starting this (it had probably been a month or so since I had been to my hometown to see them), I thought my mom was going to cry. No sooner than I had walked in the door, she started asking me "where the rest of me was" and "was I sure I was eating" (asking this as I was sampling everything on the stove that she was making for dinner didn't seem quite logical to me, but hey, who knows). I stayed home for about a week and constantly noticed everyone in my family kind of watching me and asking me if I was sure that I was eating and if I was taking care of myself.

I understand how it can be kind of disheartening and definitely somewhat of a hassle to have to explain yourself for taking care of your body and eating well, but that's finally what brought me to the point of kind of going off. I finally just explained that yes, I was still eating plenty, i was just making better choices of what to eat and had become more active and that although I had gotten smaller, I still had plenty of meat on my body from the muscle I had built. Basically, I learned that all I can do is assure them that I am eating fine and there is nothing to worry about and that hopefully if they feel the need to keep watching some of my habits will at least maybe rub off on them. If you have to, show them your food diary so they can see just how many calories you eat in a day.

Keep it up though, as long as you're taking care of yourself don't let it get to you

SoDamnHungry

No, but I have coworkers commenting my weight a lot. It's annoying.

chrisc16

I have to agree. It seems the new "norm" today is eating like a horse, and if you try and be conscious of what you are eating, well, you must have a problem. I just tend to ignore it - after all, I eat just not like I used to (or everyone else seems to be doing).

LCHOLT71

I have people at work telling me that they are going to have to start feeding me. It's said jokingly, but I think people must wonder if you are actually eating when you do lose weight. I also have family members asking "when are you going to stop losing weight" and "you don't need to lose any more". I agree with chrisc16 - people have been trained now to overeat, so they think if you watch your calories, then you're not eating enough.

thoseblueeyes

I also agree everyone thinks you should eat huge amounts of food. I went to lunch with a friend last week. She wanted a cheeseburger so I said that was fine. I order a kids meal and ate about 70% of the hamberger and about 1/2 of the fries. She totally flipped on me and told me I needed to finish my meal. I just looked at her and could not believe she just said that. If I am not hungry I will not keep on eating.

LOL I usually don't eat like that but I went cuz she wanted a cheeseburger.

thoseblueeyes

K here is something funny. I just got a friend request from someone that wants to lose as much as I have. I guess they didn't see this post on what a heart ache weight loss can be...

k121777

Totally this!

Are the folks making these comments heavy? If so, I've found it's often one part concern, one part ignorance on how we really should be eating, and one part jealousy. The point is, while there may be some genuine concern motivating this, often there are other things going on that no amount of convincing will change. I wish I had some great piece of advice here, but I think you're just going to have to grin and bear it.
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meshashesha2012

dudette you're 44. if people do things that bug you then tell them to back the hell off.

TrailRunner61

I only had that problem when I was truly anorexic. It annoyed me then. I know I'm not anorexic now, so I don't care what anyone thinks about what I eat or dont eat. If it's bothering you a lot and several people are 'watching you', you may want to sit back and re-evaluate your situation. I'm only saying that because anorexics are totally in denial. I know I was! Also, if you are, YOU can't control it. It's not your fault and you can get help for it.
If you aren't, you're an adult. Ignore them!

thoseblueeyes

@ meshasheha20 I wish I could. I really don't have a mean bone in my body. I really wish I could tell them oh I really feel.

ObtainingBalance

my family does it to me constantly. I started eating better over the summer (cut out all fast food, soda, etc) and started training for a half marathon. The first time I went to my parents' house after starting this (it had probably been a month or so since I had been to my hometown to see them), I thought my mom was going to cry. No sooner than I had walked in the door, she started asking me "where the rest of me was" and "was I sure I was eating" (asking this as I was sampling everything on the stove that she was making for dinner didn't seem quite logical to me, but hey, who knows). I stayed home for about a week and constantly noticed everyone in my family kind of watching me and asking me if I was sure that I was eating and if I was taking care of myself.

I understand how it can be kind of disheartening and definitely somewhat of a hassle to have to explain yourself for taking care of your body and eating well, but that's finally what brought me to the point of kind of going off. I finally just explained that yes, I was still eating plenty, i was just making better choices of what to eat and had become more active and that although I had gotten smaller, I still had plenty of meat on my body from the muscle I had built. Basically, I learned that all I can do is assure them that I am eating fine and there is nothing to worry about and that hopefully if they feel the need to keep watching some of my habits will at least maybe rub off on them. If you have to, show them your food diary so they can see just how many calories you eat in a day.

Keep it up though, as long as you're taking care of yourself don't let it get to you

This.

I find my family gets freaked out when I eat all "healthy" and order salads, grilled chicken, lots of veggies, nuts... whatever.

They don't always think I am eating enough... but hey, I eat 1,400-1,700 daily! I net usually around 1,000- 1,200

I have a pass of disordered eating habits, I had skipped periods for awhile... Sometimes I have binges, and that makes me have no appetite for a meal. I don't eat in front of them as much as I should. They have things that make them worry, but I am truly not anorexic. I am overweight, and I am not afraid of food. I just know I am in debt (over weight) and need to cut back (calories).

The thing is, my mom has been on diets in the past and she thinks the only way to tell if I am not losing weight is by if I eat junk food or not. She tries to push pizza and fatty foods on my plates often. Why, I don't like to eat with her.

You are 40+, they need to leave you alone. Don't eat with them, then.

And, there is nothing wrong with fitness and healthy foods. heavier people often feel guilty because it's opposite of their choices.

ObtainingBalance

I also agree everyone thinks you should eat huge amounts of food. I went to lunch with a friend last week. She wanted a cheeseburger so I said that was fine. I order a kids meal and ate about 70% of the hamberger and about 1/2 of the fries. She totally flipped on me and told me I needed to finish my meal. I just looked at her and could not believe she just said that. If I am not hungry I will not keep on eating.

LOL I usually don't eat like that but I went cuz she wanted a cheeseburger.

Grrrrrr. I know right!
Some of my friends comment on my meals if it's all healthy, and I pass dessert. Or if I split portions in half, they freak!

postrockandcats

I usually get people looking at me like this:



Because I generally eat what I want (within reason- portion control is my homeboy) and am loosing weight steadily. It's kind of fun blowing people's minds

rodneyderrick

I used to about three years ago when I started losing weight with this site. I had another account back in those days, and I said that I was going to drop weight, and keep it off because I found a nifty site to help me do it. My coworkers were watching every move I made to see if I was eating, especially after I dropped my first thirty pounds. A few people that hadn't seen me in awhile thought I had cancer. It's been nearly three years now, and when I tell them that I use this site, they still think I'm on some kind of specific diet plan that sends special meals to my house. I've been a big exerciser since my teens, but counting my calories is the reason I'm slim.

tvanhooser

No, but I get the silent snark like they think I'm being silly and ridiculous even though I am not preaching it or expecting anyone else to conform to what I need to do to lose weight. That's completely their choice whether to try anything themselves or what to try if they do want to lose weight. I am not a crusade to force anything on anyone. The other annoying habit they have is actually the opposite of yours....they compliment me profusely but to annoying obsession that makes it obvious that they define me only as a body size. But really it's nothing I didn't already know about them -- they've always judged a person's value and worth by their body and physical accomplishments (something that isn't a particular gift of mine. I can persevere, work hard and do the exercise but I have never been, nor will ever be nor desire to be a great athlete nor attain any particular great speed or skill. And I am OK with that and my skills being more academic and mental than physical --they aren't, their loss.) And I know from years of witnessing the way they talk about certain members of the family behind their backs that anything that even hints of "alternative" or non-standard life choices (i.e. being vegetarian or a backwoods, back to nature type to name two specific examples from other familly members) that they will be pseudo-sweet to your face and totally trash you when you aren't in the room. They seem to think that "alternative" is equivalent to moral turpitude which is complete nonsense of course but I have no doubt that gossip runs rampant about me when I'm not around -- which is most of the time -- and that even though they "talk nice" to my face, it's obvious that I don't really fit their criteria of a decent human being so it always comes off as slightly condescending and fake. They tolerate me being around because I am family and their sense of propriety and concern for appearances won't let them complete write me off.....but I am barely tolerated with civilities rather than actually liked as a human being. But I have long since ceased to care what they think and stick to what is right for me regardless of what they think or say or do. They aren't going to change by my efforts and I can't put any emotional time and energy into trying to make it happen or feeling sorry for myself. I get more love and support from my church family than I do from my biological family and that's good enough for me....at least someone really cares and supports me on the basis of who I actually am, not what my body looks like on any given day.