Really bummed out!

ACrowsDay

What is wrong with me??? I lost 23 pounds using MFP so I know it works...I've gained back 5...now I'm trying to get with it again and I keep screwing up! One day I do great and the next day I blow it?? How do I get motivated again? Anyone have this problem? Jen:sad:

kenazfehu

Oh yes. I've started and abandoned countless weight loss plans. I think the bottom line is that every time you fail, you have to put it behind you immediately and keep going forward with your plan. Don't keep switching plans, trying to find something easier. Every time you switch up what you're doing, your body has to make metabolism adjustments.

For me, it was like a switch had to be thrown in my brain. I used to kid myself that I was out of control, had no willpower, etc, etc. It was all a lie. I was in control the entire time.

_Croix_

You need to remember why you started in the first place!! Be proud of your accomplishments and use it as fuel to press forward! Each choice you make take a moment to stop and think; "is this the best good choice?" When you are staring at the donut, give yourself a pep talk and walk away! Go for an actual walk and/or go get a more healthy snack!! We are all human and we're allowed our bad days!! But the key is to not let the bad days consume you... Fight back!!

You can do it!! Good luck!!

bigbonedbunny

Oh hell yeah! Everyday is a battle to make the right choices and to get that work out in. Just don't give up.

wanda9501

Reading the "Success" blogs and seeing my friends success really help me stay on track. When I read about other people success, it makes me want to do better. I come here and read about other progress everyday and it gives me the strength to workout and the will power to say no to junk food. Good luck on your journey.

Jennaissance

What motivates you? Figure that out and always keep it in sight.

For me it is fitting in my old clothes again. I keep them in the front of my closet and try them on all the time.

Take that 5 pounds and set a goal for how many of them you'll lose this week. Plan it out and stick to it. I'm sure that after one small success you'll be back on track. Just remember what motivates you.

kimmywodrich

Aw girl! Keep your chin up. Falling off the wagon sucks but it's not uncommon. I feel like what always helps me is reminding myself that it's a journey. I have to remember that it takes time to get back into the routine, so I need to be patient with myself. It will come with time and strength. You've got this! Don't worry! You did it before, you can absolutely, without a doubt, do it again!

Eleanorjanethinner

Yup, I lost 19 pounds a year ago and now I've regained 3... I've been off and on MFP most of the last year and haven't managed to do any more than just about maintain, even though I could do with losing another 20. Motivation and commitment are very hard to keep going over the long term...

californiagirl2012

What is wrong with me??? I lost 23 pounds using MFP so I know it works...I've gained back 5...now I'm trying to get with it again and I keep screwing up! One day I do great and the next day I blow it?? How do I get motivated again? Anyone have this problem? Jen:sad:

There is nothing easy about this journey. Don't give up. Keep your eye on the prize. You do not have to be perfect to do this. You just have to have more good days than not. A bad day is not the end of the world. Tomorrow is a new day. Just pick it right up again. Be kind to yourself and don't ever punish or beat yourself up, just keep moving forward, one step in front of the other.

What you need to eat for a deficit is relative to your RMR. If you are short you really don't have much room for up compared to the 1200. If you are taller you will have a higher RMR and can go up or down and still be in a deficit (way above 1200) so you can lose no matter what. All that matters is a calorie deficit.

To tell everyone eat more is wrong.

To tell everyone to eat less is wrong.

To find the exact amount of calories for you to be in a sustainable calorie deficit is correct. Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others. Some people have emotional eating disorders and it comes into play. Even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such and everyone is different.

You just need to find the correct calories for YOU to be healthy and sustainable and still lose weight. It might require some experimentation and tremendous patience. You can always notch up and down by 100 until you find what is sustainable and still allows you to lose weight.

If you have emotional eating issues than you are not going to be able to handle such a deep deficit and if you eat to low it will backfire. A better strategy is to eat at a shallower deficit, and sometimes give yourself a break from the deficit and eat at maintenance. This is not going backwards, but eating to low and then binging because you can't sustain it is going backwards. It's better to stay forwards even if it is slower. The tortoise wins this race in the end.

Your body loses weight in chunks, not linear. I have found that you can do everything right and your weight loss seems to plateau but if you are patient and keep exercising and eating at a deficit (however slight) you will lose it, it will suddenly "whoosh". There are so many variables for the scale; water retention, digestion, hormones, allergies, sodium, carbs, water intake, DOMS, inflammation, the list goes on. People mistakenly think they lose or gain weight when they eat more or less because of these fluctuations.

Losing weight requires tremendous patience. You will not lose it when you want it or where you want it. The body does its thing. Some apparent plateaus can last a month or so. You cannot make it happen faster. You must focus on two things; calories and exercise. Nothing else matters. Scales and metrics don't matter. The day in and day out grind of exercise and calories are all that matters. It is not very exciting until things fall into place. You get your victories and you ride one victory to the next.

The scale is a trend tool. The scale is good but put it away and only check once a week and only use it as a trend tool. It will fluctuate, it does not matter. Take front side and back progress pictures at least once a month. You will see differences that the metrics won't tell you and it's that little bit of NSV that will keep you going until the next victory.

There is no mystery to weight loss, everyone thinks something is wrong, their metabolism is broken, they have low thyroid, they have menopause or whatever issue, they are as unique as a snowflake, whatever. I thought a lot of these things once too but once the doctor helped resolve the health issues for me I learned there is still no magic pill. Most people eat more than they need to and are not at good at estimating calories as they think they are. Most people have a lower BMR than they think they do. The only way to know for sure is to go to a lab and have it tested. It doesn't seem fair to have to eat less and feel a little hunger. It's hard to face the truth of it, very hard. It's not fun. It's drudgery at times. But if you learn to enjoy your smaller amounts of food (necessary to lose weight, since the reason we got fat in the first place was eating too much whether we knew it or not), and rejoice in your victories it can be done.

All I can do is share what worked for me. I achieved my goal at age 50 after beating my head against the wall for 15 years. Yeah anyone can do it, but I can tell you that you are up against a lot when you are older and I believe females have some unique issue to face with hormones and such. The sooner you can get a handle on it the better. DO NOT GIVE UP. As I got older and the weight piled on (and I didn't feel I was eating too much!) everyone kept telling me to give up, this is what happens when you get older. I'm small, and I didn't realize how small I was until I lost the weight. Everyone said I had big bones. I looked hefty because I worked out. Once I lost the weight I realized how small I really was and that small people don't need to eat as much as big people. HINT: If you are short you are probably small.

Too many changes at once can be hard on some people. I've always eaten healthy so it easy for me to simply eat less. Eating at a calorie deficit is hard on people; even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such. Everyone is different. Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others, this is not right or wrong, it just is. Stress in your life affects your hunger hormones; lack of sleep, fatigue, job stress, family stress, financial stress, etc. Add in emotional eating issues and it gets even more complicated. Most people can only handle so much change/stress at once, they try to do too much and fail. Sometimes it might be a better strategy to eat at maintenance and make some small changes first, it really depends on how much stress you are taking in at the moment.

Being on a calorie deficit is hard. You can't do this journey on will power alone. You must set up your environment for success. Have a team around you in your real life, not just online. Get trigger foods out of the house. It will take some sacrifice and it's not easy. You might have to say no to some social events sometimes.

Too many changes at once can be hard on some people. I've always eaten healthy so it easy for me to simply eat less. Eating at a calorie deficit is hard on people; even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such. Everyone is different. Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others, this is not right or wrong, it just is. Stress in your life affects your hunger hormones; lack of sleep, fatigue, job stress, family stress, financial stress, etc. Add in emotional eating issues and it gets even more complicated. Most people can only handle so much change/stress at once, they try to do too much and fail. Sometimes it might be a better strategy to eat at maintenance and make some small changes first, it really depends on how much stress you are taking in at the moment.


For me it's all about a calorie budget. I had less of a budget available when I was losing weight, more to spend now that I'm maintaining and all the tools I used for weight loss come into play for the rest of my life maintaining.

When you have accumulated excess fat, you have accumulated a debt. It is hard to pay off the debt (you have less calories to spend). If you are sitting next to someone your same gender and height and they are not overweight and you are, they get to eat more than you (have more calories to spend) because they are debt free. You have less calories to spend because you are paying off your debt.

Wishing you the best! -Bobbie

raeleek

Fall down 999 times and get up 1000! You DO NOT have to be perfect. Just keep trying!

alienrite

What is wrong with me??? I lost 23 pounds using MFP so I know it works...I've gained back 5...now I'm trying to get with it again and I keep screwing up! One day I do great and the next day I blow it?? How do I get motivated again? Anyone have this problem? Jen:sad:

Just do the basics every single day and accept that many days you won't feel like it. Cannot leave success to just feeling like it

alienrite

I like the analogy with weight management like money management. Every penny saved counts even if it seems minuscule at the moment. I am finding to that I am now gaining interest on my past hard work which helps me work harder and smarter today. Takes time and consistency.

Golfbeerhorse

I would take any great advice also I lost 89lbs by last Jan. and now put back on 60 of it. I am Disgusted with my self and began again today. It seems I can hold it for two days and lose it again the web site is great and works but I need a focus again. I am starting to have to take Meds again and I do not want this. So good luck and hope you have someone in your life like I do that is going to join me and help me refocus. GOOD LUCK!!!

ChristiMightGetFit

What helped me was eventually changing my mind-set when I was ready...instead of "oh crap I messed up, I'll start again tomorrow"....I had to change to "oh crap I messed up, I am going to start again in one minute." I still struggle with throwing all the work I have done out the window when I messed up once, but that new mind set has helped me because messing up once a day is better than messing up an entire day.

AyaKara

When you say that you've gained pounds, have you been keeping track of your inches? A lot of the time, we stay the same weight or increase while our body itself changes shape. You'll be okay darling, just keep working hard!

Donnaakamagmid

Jen I believe in you! We all have bad days and some times weeks. Keep logging honestly, keep coming back and you'll get it. There's nothing wrong with you, you're just human like all the rest of us:flowerforyou:

ECA67

Falling down is life , getting back up is living.

Smokey19

We all feel bummed out at times when the scale goes up or doesn't move at all. You need to remember why you started this journey in the first place. Write down your reasons and post a before picture where you can see them everyday. Having a group of supportive friends on here is also really helpful in reaching your goal. Please feel free to add me for support and encouragement.

littlemegzz

I had this too. This is my second time on MFP. I had about a 5 month break where I just go lazy. What brought me back was stress with uni and then using doing workouts as a form of procrastination from uni work.

My sister had also joined a gym and gotten a personal trainer earlier in the year. Have a PT twice a week really helped her motivation. So when I got really bummed about uni and my lack of exercising and eating right, is said - screw the money! - and went out that day, checked out each of the gyms in my are and found the one that I felt had the most experienced trainer for a price I could afford. I am now three weeks into my training and loving every bit of it. I dont have scales at home, so I cant wait to weigh in every Saturday; it's my little reward for a hard week of work.

Biggest change for me with this, is that I was eating basically 100% carbs. My PT and I decided to go the opposite - only meat, nuts, fruit and veg. We planned to slowly add carbs back in after a week of that. But I found I have never felt more with no cravings than ever before. I lost 3 kg in my first week, and another 1.5 the next. I will stay on this until I find I plateau, or start feeling unsatisfied and then add some carbs back in to see what happens.

Hope this ramble helps in some way.

ACrowsDay

Can't thank you all enough for your pep-talk and motivation. I will re-read all your posts and take notes. I really want to lose these last 15 pounds!! MFP works...I've done it. I feel good with the 20lbs. I've lost and maybe somewhere in my head I figure thats good enough...especially when I'm hungry or want something sugary to eat??! I must add...my husband is retired and for fun we go out to dinner almost everyday! I got good at picking the right foods, just lately I've over done the calories...It's nice knowing I'm not the only one...thanks again all of you! Jen:flowerforyou: